“Yeah. She just told me it’ll be about five minutes more.”
“Perfect. I’m starving.”
“Me too.”
“So, listen. It’s just past one o’clock now. What do you say we drive to the state line and find a hotel there? It’s about four hours away and I figure we can get to Tonopah in about six hours from there. We can take it easy tomorrow, get to the hospital when you’re ready.”
God, we’re so fucking close now.
Adam saw something on her face and he touched her hand. “What is it?”
She looked down. “I’m… I’m…” She fell silent.
“Katie?”
“I haven’t been this close to the Nevada state line since I left more than ten years ago. It’s – bad for my head.”
He moved closer to her. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
She looked up, startled.
“You don’t have to, you know. We can turn around and go home if that’s what you want. Just say the word.”
She shook her head, her throat too tight to speak.
Adam saw her eyes sparkle with tears and his heart clenched.
Goddammit, I’d do anything to spare her this, to spare her all of it.
Katie swiped her eyes angrily. “Fuck. I feel like all I do in front of you is cry.”
“Hey. That’s not all you do in front of me.”
She blinked at him.
“You also sleep.” He gently wiped her tears away. “And eat, sometimes. I’ve even seen you laugh once or twice.”
She gave him a wobbly smile. “Yeah, that’s all true.”
“So don’t worry about it, OK? Don’t worry about anything. Just focus on getting through the rest of today. Then tonight. Then tomorrow. One thing at a time, and we’ll do it together. Alright?”
“Alright.”
Their eyes met and held. The busy restaurant disappeared around them; the noise and bustle just faded away. Suddenly, all Katie saw were Adam’s eyes and all he saw were her lips.
Adam’s breath caught and he moved closer to her, unable to stop himself. She leaned in and his hand touched her upper thigh. He hesitated, then rested it there. She moved closer.
His lips brushed hers, a tiny touch, barely a whisper. She closed her eyes and sighed. Adam both heard and felt it against his mouth, and his cock hardened in response. He wanted her to breathe like that while he thrust inside of her, deeper and harder, until she shattered with pleasure.
Two plates clattered down between them and they heard a cheery, “OK, here’s your lunch!”
They jumped apart, faces flushed.
“Sorry, you two… maybe I should have waited?” The waitress was grinning down at them.
“No. No, it’s fine,” Katie said quickly. “Thanks.”
“Enjoy your lunch, now.”
Katie couldn’t even look at Adam. Her face and body were both hot, flaming with lust and embarrassment. She stared at the food, and found she had completely lost her appetite. All she wanted was to kiss him again.
Adam was staring at Katie’s pretty face, stunned at what he had just done.
You asshole… she’s in no state to be pawed by some guy. Get it together, would you?
“Katie, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.”
Her eyes were wide and shocked, her body pulsing with desire.
“I just… I want you to feel safe. I shouldn’t be all over you.” Adam moved away from her a bit.
She was still silent.
Tell him. Just tell him, just jump off that cliff. See if he catches you. See if you fly.
“Katie? Are you OK?” His fingers itched to stroke her cheek. “Did I scare you?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“No what? No, you’re not OK? Or no, I didn’t scare you?”
“I wasn’t scared.” She looked at him. “And the place I feel safest right now is when I’m close to you. If you want to make me feel safe, then don’t move away from me even one more inch, OK?”
He froze.
Oh, God. Is this really happening between us?
“You really feel that way?” he said.
“Yes.”
Her dark eyes were warm and open and he wanted to dive in to them.
“Me too.” The admission rushed out of him. “I want to be close to you. I like to be close to you.”
She smiled.
“But we take this slow, OK, baby?” He touched her now, his large hand running up and down her lower back. “I don’t want you to have to deal with any of this right now… you have enough for getting on with.”
“Yes.” Her fingers trembled as she touched his lips. “We’ll get through everything in Nevada, then we’ll see where we are after. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” He forced himself to pull back a bit, but he couldn’t bear to break all contact. “Now, eat. You’ve barely had anything since we left Denver, and you need your strength for what’s coming.”
“OK.”
They sat and ate, their legs lightly touching, their eyes meeting over and over again. Neither of them said too much, but neither of them could remember the last time they had been so happy.
**
Nick turned over in bed and reached for Mia. His hand touched the mattress and he cracked his eyes open. She wasn’t there. He squinted at the clock and saw that it was just past one o’clock.
They had been up most of the night making love and they had both dropped off well after three o’clock. He recalled her face as she came over and over again, helpless and eager for him to be inside her, on her, all over her. His cock stiffened right away and he almost groaned out loud. He just couldn’t get enough of Mia, it seemed.
Nick got up and wandered in to the living room area. He smelled fresh coffee and poured himself a cup and that’s when he heard tapping coming from the small office. It doubled as a second bedroom, and it was where he had slept for their first three nights at Open Skies.
He went down the hallway and leaned his massive frame in the doorway, watching Mia typing away on the hotel laptop.
“Hi,” he said.
Mia turned and her golden eyes warmed and sparked at the sight of his naked chest. “Hi.”
“Are you writing your novel?”
“Yep.”
Nick studied her beautiful face and he smiled. He walked over to her and pulled her tousled head to his lips. He set the fresh coffee on the desk next to her pile of notes.
“I love you, babe,” he said. Then he left her to write.
**
Adam looked in the mirror and smiled when he saw that Katie was still sleeping in the back seat. She had resisted, saying that he was doing all the driving and the least she could do was stay awake and keep him company. But the shock of the past two days, plus her injured leg and arm and the painkillers, was all taking its toll.
He thought about the kiss they had shared. Well, it wasn’t even really a kiss; it was more of a hint of a kiss. A promise of one.
Whatever it was, it was the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.
Adam’s face clouded as he thought about the clock ticking down now. Her brother had called a few hours earlier and he and Katie had a tense conversation. It seemed that her stepfather was fading fast, and Ryan warned Katie to get there by the next afternoon at the latest. As soon as he heard that, Adam had offered to drive all night.
Katie had refused, but they agreed to drive on past the state line in to Nevada and find a place to stay in Caliente. They’d be there around nine in the evening, and they could get to Tonopah by late morning the next day.
She was silent and pale after talking to Ryan. She had stared out the window, trembling, and after a few minutes of watching this, Adam couldn’t take it anymore. He had pulled over in the first rest stop he saw and climbed in to the back seat with her. He had tugged her in to his arms and cradled her. When she started to cry, he’d rocked her back and forth, whispering that she was safe and everything was going t
o be OK. She cried for a long time, and even after she had calmed, Adam hadn’t moved. His lips in her hair, he held her until her breathing had slowed and deepened and she fell asleep in his arms, exhausted and emotionally shattered.
Now Adam thought about the next day, wondering what was lying in wait for Katie. She hadn’t said much about her mother, but whenever she spoke of her, Adam sensed deep anger and deep love. Katie told him that she hadn’t seen or spoken to her Mom in ten years. Their first few minutes together tomorrow were bound to be difficult. Adam had no idea what he could do to make things easier for Katie.
He turned it over in his mind and he finally – and reluctantly – came to the conclusion that there was nothing he could do to ease Katie’s pain. All he could do was be there while she faced all these things down. So that’s what he would do.
Against his will, his thoughts now turned to her stepfather and Adam felt rage rise in his chest. He knew that Katie was terrified of the fucker, and Adam had no idea how traumatized she was going to be after seeing him again. Deathbed or not, he still had the power to hurt her. Adam was going to prevent that, if he could.
How unethical is it to kill an already-dying/ almost-dead person? It’s bad, right? But what if they’re a really, really big asshole?
Katie stirred and sighed. Adam watched as her dark eyes fluttered open. She saw him and she smiled.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey. You sleep OK?”
“I think so. How long have I been out?” She rubbed her eyes.
“Almost four hours.”
“Wow.”
“You needed it. You’ve been through the wringer the past forty-eight hours.”
She looked outside. “We must be close to the state line now.”
“Yeah. Less than fifteen minutes.”
Katie was quiet. “Can you stop for a sec?”
“Why?” Adam was alarmed. “Are you going to be sick?”
“Oh, no. I just want to get in the front seat with you.”
“OK.” He pulled over.
Adam helped her in to the passenger-side seat and shut the door. He got back in to the car and looked at her carefully. She was pale but she looked OK.
“You nervous about crossing in to Nevada?” he said.
“Very.” She tried to smile.
“What do you need me to do?”
Katie stared at him, touched. “Nothing, Adam. Just… hold my hand. And talk to me, OK? Make me talk… distract me.”
“No problem.”
He pulled back on to the highway and took her hand.
“So, how did you get in to photography?” he said.
“Oh, boy.” She gave a small laugh. “That is actually one hell of a story.”
“OK.”
“When I was ten, my aunt gave me her old camera when she moved to L.A. I had no idea how to use it, you know, and my stepfather flat-out refused to buy me film. Mom would buy me Kodak film on sale sometimes, but even when I couldn’t actually take any pictures, I was fascinated. Mom said that I spent hours and hours just looking through the lens. After a while, I carried the camera with me everywhere and I spent more time looking at the world in that little window than not.”
“What were you doing?” he asked.
“I didn’t know it then, but I was framing shots. I was figuring out how to capture a small piece of something huge. I loved the idea that I could just pick and choose what to focus on, what to reject. I got really good at looking at a whole scene in front of me and zeroing in on what would look best in that tiny box.”
He nodded.
“When I was twelve, I got a paper route and anything I earned, I spent on film. That was when I started to really understand the power that I had.”
“Power?” He glanced at her.
“Yeah. Taking pictures gave me control and perspective. Distance.” She stared out the window. “It went both ways, actually.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when I held the camera up to take a picture, it created a physical barrier between me and the subject. My whole face was hidden, especially my eyes. Nobody could see me, but I could see them. I could see everything. It made me feel – safe. Like everything was separate from me, away from me.”
Adam stroked her palm with his thumb. “You said it went both ways.”
“Right. Well, when I developed my pictures, I saw the subject was smaller than it actually was in real life. You know? Like, reduced in size and frozen in time and totally in my control.” She sighed. “It helped.”
“Helped what?”
“I learned how to develop my own film and I started to… to take photos of my injuries. After he had hurt me.”
Adam looked at her sharply.
“My bruises and burns and stitches… I took photos of them all. And when I looked at them later, I saw them as far away from me. I switched over to black-and-white film around then, and that made the pictures even less emotional, somehow. Like – almost a documentary about someone who had nothing whatsoever to do with me.”
He was very still.
She looked at Adam. “I guess it’s hard to explain.”
“No. No, I get it. You were figuring out how to distance yourself from what was happening to you. Trying to take back some control in a situation where you were totally helpless.”
“Yeah, I think so. But the problem is that I started treating every part of my life like this. I – I’ve used my camera as a shield for over twenty years and I’ve stayed hidden behind it, observing my whole world through a tiny lens and in black-and-white.” She shrugged. “I mean, I have a good eye and I can capture an image in a split-second, but I rarely feel any attachment to my photos. I use them to be apart from my subjects; I don’t connect to anyone or anything through them.”
“You don’t feel any emotional connection to anything or anyone that you photograph?”
“Very rarely. For me, they’re just – pictures.”
“And your appearance also creates distance from people, right?”
“You mean my clothes and makeup and stuff?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, for sure. It’s all about keeping people at arm’s length. It’s – it’s safer for me that way.”
Adam was quiet as he saw what was approaching in the distance.
“Adam? Is something wrong?”
“There it is.” Adam nodded. “We’re here, baby.”
She raised her chin as she watched the sign marking the Nevada state line getting closer. “Some things are better kept at a distance.”
Adam clutched her hand as they passed the sign. “And some things should be kept as close as possible.”
Katie glanced at him, saw his worry. She smiled and squeezed his hand.
“Yeah. And the good thing is that it’s usually pretty easy to tell which is which.” She took a deep breath. “I understand that now.”
**
Mia wandered out of the office when she smelled food.
“Hey,” she said. “Did you cook?”
Nick turned. “I did. Nothing fancy… just pasta and salad. Is that OK?”
“Are you kidding me? It sounds perfect.”
“OK, then. Pour yourself a glass of wine and go sit down.”
Mia sat at the table and watched him in the kitchen. He brought the food to the table and sat across from her, his gray eyes very dark in the candlelight.
“Thanks,” she said. “I don’t know how the whole day just got away from me like that.”
“So the writing is going well?”
“Yeah, actually. Really well.”
“Tell me.”
They talked as they ate, their conversation easy and relaxed. Nick watched her face as she told him about her book, and he couldn’t think when she had last looked so animated and content.
Mia saw him looking at her. “What?”
He shrugged, a smile on his handsome face. “Nothing. Just happy to see you so happy.”
“I am h
appy,” she said. “Thank you so much for bringing me here… it’s perfect and you were right. It was what I needed.”
“Me too.”
Their eyes met and instantly, the heat flared between them. Nick hardened and Mia moistened and they both knew exactly what was happening with the other.
“So,” Nick said. “What do you say we have dessert in the bedroom?”
“Sounds good,” Mia said. “What is dessert, anyway?”
He stood up. “You’ll see when we get there.”
**
Adam pulled in to the hotel parking lot. He looked at Katie, still worried about her.
“We’re here.”
She nodded and started to open her door.
“Hey, stay there. I’ll come get you.”
He helped her out of the car, his arm wrapped around her waist. She gasped as her balance wavered and he held her tighter.
“OK?” he said.
“Yeah,” she said.
“Let’s go check in.” Adam slammed the door.
“Just – hold on a second,” she said.
He paused.
Katie looked down and swallowed hard. He saw that she looked anxious.
“What’s wrong?” he said. “Are you OK?”
“I – I want to ask you something.”
“Sure.”
She stood there, trying to work up the courage to say what she wanted. Years of not asking for anything from anyone were working against her, and she was mute in his arms.
“Katie?”
“I’m – I’m bad at this, Adam. I’m bad at asking for – for help.” She looked up in to those eyes. “I’m bad at asking for what I need when it means that I look weak.”
He stroked her hair. “I’m not surprised. You spent a long time taking care of yourself. Asking someone else to take care of you must feel strange.” His hand rested lightly against her throat. “But you can ask me for anything, Katie, and I’ll do it.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Ask.”
“OK. Ummm. I know we agreed to take things slow, but I’d like to ask if we can – we can share a room tonight. Share a bed.”
Adam stared down at her as she stood there blushing and shifting from foot to foot. His stomach dropped about five feet and his heart raced. He wanted nothing more than to spend the night holding her.
He lifted her chin, forced her to look at him. “Are you sure, baby?”
Fighting Strong Page 6
