“Ah,” he said in a weak voice. “I see that Katie has told you about me. About… about what I used to be like.”
“Used to?” Adam said.
“Yes.” Those gray eyes were filling with tears as he gazed at Katie. “I’ve changed, baby. I’ve stopped drinking and I’ve found God.” He gasped for air. “I’ve repented for all the things I’ve done.”
Adam felt disgust rising in his chest. This piece of shit has found God? Yeah, right! Don’t believe one word that comes out of his mouth, Katie.
But Katie was looking at Roy with an expression of softness. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” Roy took some more deep breaths from the mask and she waited. “I’m not the same man I was when you was growing up. I’m – I’m different.”
“How?”
“I know how much I hurt you, baby.” Roy sucked more air, his eyes never leaving her face. “I was too hard on you and Ryan sometimes. I wanted you to be tough, see. I knew the world was a bad place, and I tried to get you ready for it.”
“Oh,” Katie said. “Is that what you were doing? You were helping us?”
“Yeah. I was toughening you up… and I did it well, right? Look at you now, Katie. You stood on your own two feet these past ten years, right? Made something of yourself? That’s all because of me, you know. You done me proud.”
“Have I?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m so glad that I don’t disappoint you anymore.” She smiled.
Adam looked at her sharply. “Katie…”
“No, Adam. He was helping me. He was making me strong.” She turned back to Roy. “Right?”
“Exactly, baby. Exactly.” He nodded, his pale face gentle and sweet.
She nodded back. “I understand.”
“You – what?” Adam said.
“I mean… I didn’t understand at the time,” Katie said. “I didn’t like being hurt.”
“I know, Katie. But you was so wilful and disobedient – you never listened and sometimes, I had to be hard on you. I didn’t enjoy it, though. I was just doing my duty.”
“I see that now. I know I was a difficult child.”
“And since I done all that good for you then, I need something from you now.” His eyes were narrowing, watching her closely.
It looks like he’s taking aim. Shit, Katie. Watch out.
“What do you need from me in return?” Katie said.
“Your forgiveness.” Roy breathed in and out, coughing in the most heart breaking way. “I need to know that my soul is going on clean and clear. Your Mom and Ryan have already forgiven me, you know. They don’t want me to enter the next world with any doubts or regrets.”
“Don’t they?”
“No. No, they know that I’ve changed.”
Katie was silent. “So, you need my forgiveness?”
“Yes.”
“Well. You can’t fucking have it.”
Silence.
Roy stared at Katie, stunned. “I – what? But I’ve changed, baby.”
“Stop calling me that.” Her voice was pure ice, any trace of sweetness or understanding gone now. “Only one person on the whole planet gets to call me that, and it’s not you.”
Roy’s eyes slid back to Adam. “Him, huh?”
“Yes.”
“You fucking him, you piece of trash whore?”
Adam stepped forward again, outraged, but Katie held up her hand, her eyes never leaving her stepfather’s face.
“It’s OK, Adam. I’ve got this.”
He backed down, watching her calm face, trusting her.
“It must have been such an effort for you these past few months, pretending to have changed and repented. Exhausting, I imagine.” Katie smiled at the man in the bed. “But you don’t need to pretend with me. You’re not going to convince me of anything, or manipulate me in some fucking twisted deathbed power play. I know who you really are, remember? So, come on out.”
Their eyes met and they knew each other.
He smiled now, and the mask was completely gone now, his gaunt face twisted with malice. “You fucking whore. That’s all you ever was, you know, and I’ll just bet that’s all you are now. Nothing but a pussy to plug, just a hole to pass the time in.” He licked his lips. “Nothing but a cunt.”
“And there you are,” Katie said softly. “I knew you were still in there somewhere, Roy.”
Roy turned to Adam now. “I know she’s told you about what me and her did together, all those nights in her bed. But don’t believe her if she said it was by force… she loved it, you know. She was dripping wet and begging for it. Couldn’t get enough of sucking on my dick.”
Adam turned white with rage; it was only his confidence in Katie that kept him still. Roy observed how he was getting to Adam and he smiled.
“Yeah,” Roy continued in a conversational tone. “Couldn’t keep her fucking legs together – just like her mother. Now, take my advice, boy: you want to keep this bitch in line? Backhand her a few times.” His eyes glittered as he saw Adam’s pain and anger. “Lit cigarettes work good, too.”
“Hey, Roy.”
He looked at Katie, his lip curled, his eyes alight with hatred and petty triumph.
She raised her camera and snapped his photo.
Both men blinked.
“What the fuck?” Roy sputtered. “You – you took my fucking picture?”
She was gazing down at her camera. “Huh. Would you look at that.”
“What?” Roy said.
“You know, you were always so huge. When I was a kid, you blocked the whole sun, you sucked all the air out of the room. And in my memory, you’re always as big as a mountain… you crushed me in so many ways.”
She looked at the camera again, then she held it up to show Roy.
“This is how I remember you – exactly like this. Ugly and angry… you scared me to death for years. But now I see it.”
“What? What do you see?”
She smiled. “That you fit in this little window just fine.”
Adam closed his eyes in relief.
Oh, God… she’s going to be OK.
“I – what?” Roy sucked on his oxygen, suddenly needing it badly.
“And now that I’ve got you trapped in here, I can do whatever the hell I want with you. I can frame you and sell you for a thousand dollars. I can hang you on a wall in a gallery and have people gawk at your ugliness.” She paused. “Or, I can just push one tiny button and delete you. You’re nothing. You’re just – just a black-and-white picture. I can throw you away any time I want.”
There was real fear in his eyes now.
“I thought I needed to see you die so I could move on with my life. But now I know I was wrong. I don’t need to watch you die – I needed this. I had to see you as you truly are. Small and weak and terrified.” She looked at the camera again. “A sick and pathetic excuse for a human being reduced to a frozen image in a box.” She stood up. “We’re going now. You’ll never see me again.”
“Katie, wait…”
“No,” she said. “Not one more word. You have no say about what I do or where I go next or how I feel. You can’t do any of those things, because you’re just a picture in a frame, and they don’t talk.” She turned her back on him and left the room without even a look back.
Adam followed her out and grasped her gently by the elbow. He led her to some chairs in the hallway and he sat her down. He reached for her and she leaned in to his embrace, welcoming his warmth.
“My God, Katie. He was so – so fucking monstrous. Are you alright?”
“No. But I will be.”
They sat quietly, just holding each other. Adam pulled back and searched her face.
“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” he asked.
“What?”
“Provoked him. Forced him to show himself.”
“Yes.”
“All to take that photo and then just – finally throw him away. Right?”
&nb
sp; “Yes.”
Adam gazed down at her in his arms. “You are amazing.”
“You think?”
“I do.”
“Well, I’m starting to believe you when you say that.”
He kissed her now, gently. She took a deep breath.
“I have one more thing to do before we go, Adam.”
“OK. What is it?”
“I need to talk to my Mom.”
**
Adam smiled as Ryan brought him a coffee from the machine in the cafeteria.
“It’s not great,” Ryan said as he sat down. “But it’s hot.”
“Thanks.” Adam took a grateful sip.
They watched Katie and Susan for a few seconds. The women were sitting at a table across the room, their hands around their own cups of coffee. They weren’t touching but they were talking, listening to each other. At one point, Katie gave her mother a tissue and Susan dabbed her eyes.
“You think they’re going to be able to get past it?” Adam said. “Start again?”
“Honestly?” Ryan said. “I don’t know. Katie went through so much more than I did… more than Mom did in some ways, even. She’s got way more to get past.”
Adam nodded.
“But I know Katie misses our mother. I know she knows Mom was trapped in many ways. I’m hoping she can start to see her way to some forgiveness.”
“You think forgiveness is that easy?” Adam asked.
“No.” Ryan was very still. “It’s one of the hardest things in the world. It can’t happen just because someone else wants it from us or for us… it’s a gift, you know. It’s a gift we give ourselves, in the end, because we can’t go on feeling the way that we do anymore. It has nothing at all to do with the other person needing it or wanting it from us.” He smiled. “Mom never understood that, but Katie does.”
“Maybe she’s decided it’s time to give herself that gift,” Adam said.
“I think maybe she has. She’s already let herself accept you and what you’re offering her.”
“I hope so,” Adam said. “I want Katie to take what I have to give her.”
“Give her some more time, Adam.”
“She has as much time as she needs. I promise you that.”
The men looked across the room again and Adam sighed aloud with relief. Katie and Susan were holding hands.
That’s my girl.
**
“I want to go back to the hotel now,” Katie said to Adam.
He looked over at her. That was the first thing she had said since they left the hospital.
“You sure?” he asked.
“Yes. But I want to make one stop first. Pull over here, OK?”
“OK.”
Puzzled, he watched her go in to the convenience store and emerge a few minutes later.
“What did you buy?” he said as he pulled back on to the street.
“Condoms.”
He slammed on the brakes. “You what?”
“I want to go back to the hotel right now and get in to bed with you. I want to make love.”
He was thunderstruck. “Oh, Katie… you’re not ready. You’ve had a shock… it’s too fast.”
She shook her head. “I’m fine. I’m better than fine. Adam, you’re the first person who knows everything about what’s happened to me – the first person that I’ve been totally honest with.” She smiled. “I want to be totally open and vulnerable with you because I can be.”
“I don’t want to be one more guy who hurts you, Katie.” He swallowed hard. “I wouldn’t be able to live with that.”
Katie looked at him. “Do you care about me?”
“God, yes.”
“Then you can’t hurt me.”
He was silent.
“Please, Adam. Please be the first man to really make me feel good. Make me feel safe and loved.” She took his hand. “After today, I need you to do that.”
Their eyes met.
“You can do that, right?” she said.
“I can.” He touched her face. “Baby, I can do that.”
Chapter Eight
Adam stood in the middle of their hotel room, watching Katie take off her coat and boots. He was terrified.
Oh, shit. What if I hurt her? Scare her?
“Katie?”
She glanced up him, her eyes bright.
“What if I do something and by accident I – I trigger you?”
She looked at him, fully taking in his worry for the first time.
“If that happens, then just hold me.”
“Hold you? You’ll want me to touch you, not pull back?”
“Yes. Make sure I know it’s you. Make me say your name.”
He nodded. “OK.”
She stood up and went to him. He took her in his arms and held her.
“Adam. I want this. I’m not scared.”
“I am.” He spoke softly against her hair. “I’m scared, baby.”
Katie pulled back and touched his face. His eyes blazed down at her and she stretched up on her tiptoes to kiss him. He groaned as her sweet mouth moved over his, eager and open. His tongue slipped between her lips and she swayed on her feet.
Adam picked her up, kissing her the whole time, and carried her to the bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress, cradling her on his lap, his hands moving over her breasts and hips. She moved on him, her pert ass pushing down on him; he was rock-hard instantly and she felt it.
Katie pulled back again and smiled at him. “Undress me.”
Adam struggled to stay in control, to go slow. He took off her shirt and unzipped her jeans. Carefully, he tugged them down her legs and off. There she sat in her bra and underwear, her arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him like her life depended on it.
In one strong move, he turned and flipped her on to the bed. She gasped as her back hit the mattress and he stood over her. She watched, breathless, as he yanked off his shirt and that gorgeous chest emerged. His hands moved to his jeans and she bit her lip, waiting to see him almost naked. He pulled the jeans off and stood in front of her, letting her dark eyes run over him.
His cock was so hard that his boxer shorts tented out and away from his muscled stomach. For the first time she understood just how big he actually was and she wavered.
Adam saw her face change and he paused.
“Baby? You OK?”
Katie reached out and he shuddered at her touch. Her fingers ran up and down his length, stroking and rubbing.
“You’re so big,” she said.
“Does that scare you?”
“I – I don’t know.”
“Do you want to see me?”
At the thought, her lower lips pulsed and opened. “Yes.”
He held her eyes as he lowered his boxers and let them fall to the floor. She looked at his cock and almost moaned aloud. He was perfect.
“Come here,” she whispered.
Adam sat on the bed, leaving some space between them. She sat up and her hands moved behind her back, unclasped her bra. His eyes glittered as she reached for her panties and he stopped her hands.
“No. Let me.”
She lay back again. “OK.”
His strong fingers ran around the elastic at her waist, caressing her soft skin. She arched, her head pushing in to the pillow and he grinned. Slowly, he shifted the underwear down her body, down towards her thighs. As her pussy appeared, one glorious inch at a time, her breath got faster and shallower. She wanted his fingers on her, in her.
Adam threw her panties on the floor and looked at her. She was naked on the bed, shaking with desire for him. For him. The thought caused a rush of sex to pulse through his whole body and his cock hardened more than he ever thought possible.
Slow. Slow.
He lay down next to her and she rolled to meet him. Their mouths fused together, hot and plunging. He ran his hand down her body, cupping her breasts and flicking the pink buds. She gasped.
“Touch me, Adam. Please… touch me.”
“I’d love to. But you tell me to stop if you want me to. Promise?”
“Promise.”
His massive hand moved down her body and her legs opened to him. With one finger, he stroked her slit and she gave a small scream.
God, she was just so wet, so hot. No, she was more than that: she was actually soaked and burning. Adam had never been with a woman who was this ready this fast and he forced himself to touch her gently, slowly. Her pussy was wide open and begging and all he wanted was to be in there. But he had to make sure she was really ready. Not physically – emotionally. Adam had to be certain that she was comfortable with him being inside the most intimate part of her.
“I want to put my mouth on you, Katie.” He slipped his finger inside her, felt her response. “I want to kiss you down here, where I’m touching you. Is that OK?”
“Oh, God, yes. Yes, Adam.”
He slid a second finger inside her, watching her face, making sure that she was OK with this small penetration. She gyrated against his hand, begging him to go deeper. He kissed her now, his tongue plunging in time with his fingers, and Katie gripped his shoulders.
“Adam… I… oh, God. Adam!”
Without warning, she started to vibrate. He moved down her body and took her pearl in his mouth and she screamed. His tongue worked her clit and his fingers worked inside her and she was slowly losing her mind. When the explosion hit, she couldn’t even make a sound: she froze, every part of her was taut and straining for release. Her body jerked and twisted on the bed, her hands clenched in his hair and she came and came and he felt the spasms against his lips.
She collapsed on to the bed and he wiped his mouth and rose up on her body right away, wanting to be there when she resurfaced. His lips were on her forehead, his arms holding her trembling curves.
“Katie, I’m right here.”
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. He stroked her cheek.
“You alright?”
She gazed up at him. “Yes. Oh, yes.”
He relaxed. “OK, then.”
She closed her eyes again, loving being in his arms. “That was incredible.”
“I’m glad.” He kissed her. “I’m happy you enjoyed it.”
Fighting Strong Page 8
