by AE Rought
“Your Michigan guy came up on the radar again. He was picked up in a Saint Joe on a Drunk and Disorderly, then was released the next day. And a PPO has been put against him.”
The hope Slade maintained for no trouble from Stransberg faded. Run-ins with the law were picking up in frequency since Kally had left, and any lawman worth his badge knew the situation could easily escalate to violent attacks, even murder. Red cleared his throat to speak, and Slade shook his head, held his hand up, needing time to digest the new information. His time was short however. Kally came around the corner with her arms full.
She looked directly at Red, an odd, strained expression on her face. Slade’s insides turned into a wriggling ball of snakes again. Damn it! Kally must’ve overheard us. Inwardly, he cringed. Here it comes…
“So, Slade, who’s your friend?”
Red’s gaze fell. He was never good at lying. Slade took a little too long to speak. “This is Red Baxter. He’s a friend of the family.” And then, compounding matters, he heaped a lie on top of withholding the truth about digging into Stransberg’s record. “Red’s going to help with the cattle drive closer to Christmas.”
She seemed to accept his story, but the cracked porcelain lines around her eyes were evident to Slade when she spoke. “Howdy, Red. I’d shake your hand, but mine are kind of full.”
“It’s okay, Kally, I’m sure I’ll be able to shake your hand another time. It is nice to meet you,” he smacked Slade’s arm in a chummy gesture, “finally.”
Then, she turned to Slade, a shadow settling over her eyes. “Look what I found, T-shirts for both boys, an alien bobble head and a book on Devils Tower for Joshua, and a stuffed horse and toy cap gun for Samuel.” She attempted a smile. “The boys will love me. Susan will probably walk to Wyoming to pistol whip me with the cap gun.”
He laughed a little, more of a snort, at her half-hearted joke, then turned to Red, a pleading “keep your mouth shut” expression in his eyes. “Excuse me, Red.” Then, Slade fished his wallet out of his back pocket. “Let me give you some money, Kally.”
She shook her head. “No. I’m going to pay for these.” Slade opened his mouth to argue. She shut him down. “Remember the money Susan gave me? I told her then to use it to buy the boys Christmas gifts, so I’m going to, and then send the rest back to her.”
“Well, if you insist, who am I to argue?”
“All righty then.” She gave Slade a curious expression, reminiscent of the broken doll he’d held in the carpentry shed, then excused herself. “I’m going to leave you boys to your cow wrangling plans and pay for this stuff.”
He should have been relieved, but Slade feared the shadows over Kally’s eyes would turn to storms later on. He turned back to Red. The wince on his face must have been obvious. Red’s voice was suppressed. “What’s the matter?”
Slade’s gaze drifted to Kally and then back to his old partner. Red’s face blanched. “Crap! You still haven’t told her you were checking into Stransberg’s history?”
Slade just shook his head.
“Oh, man. Slade, I’m sorry. I hope I haven’t got your ass in a sling.”
Slade’s gaze slid down Kally’s back, nearly a loving caress. His sigh was deep. “Me too.”
Red scuffed his boot on the floor. “So…did you need help with the cattle drive? I can spare the time. I’ve got the week before and week after Christmas off.”
Wrenching his gaze from Kally’s profile when she turned to pay for her items, he looked back at Red. “Yeah…I would appreciate the help, actually. With Dad and Beau gone, we’re down two men at the ranch.”
“All right, then. I’ll see you at the Fourth Moon. Just gimme a buzz and let me know when.” Kally was the only thing on Slade’s mind. He hardly nodded in response to Red. His old partner read him too well. “Hey.” He nudged Slade’s shoulder. “If you’re so concerned about her, maybe you should go talk it out.”
“Yup. I plan to.” Slade and Red said their goodbyes, and Slade hurried to Kally’s side at the register.
Kally mumbled a “thanks” when Slade took the bag from her. She trailed behind him while he walked to the door, and he felt his heart dragging behind her boots. The weight of his hat was too much, and his head tipped forward. He swallowed but couldn’t push the lump from his throat, or loosen the tightness in his chest. He’d shoveled a lot of crap in his day, and he fully empathized with it now.
Kally stopped beside the truck, looking back over his shoulder at the Devils Tower behind the Trading Post. Her face was haunted, the earlier joy lost. “Kally, darlin’…are you okay?”
Her gaze dropped down to Slade’s boots. “Sorry.” Her lips trembled. “I heard you talking to Red when I looked at the stuffed horses…” Her voice faded, and Slade knew she had more to say. She drew in a shaky breath and then put her hand on the door handle. “Can we just get going and talk about it in the truck?”
“Of course.” He shifted the bag to his other hand. “Let me get the door for you.”
Kally pulled the door open and climbed in by herself. She might as well have slapped him in the face. Oh, yeah, this is not going to be pretty.
The Devils Tower loomed over them when he climbed in. Key in the ignition, he cranked it, but left the truck in park when he stepped on the gas pedal to get the motor running. There was no way he wanted to engage in a car fight with Kally. “All right, Kally, we’re in the truck now, so you want to spill it?”
Her eyes were hard, blue glazed irises over white bisque. Her lips were down and trembling. “I don’t know. Maybe you should spill it. Seems I’m not the one keeping things to themselves anymore.”
His hand fell from the gearshift to his thigh, and then he removed his Stetson and shoved his fingers through his hair. The call to Red had been a simple act of assessment. Following leads and assessing further threats was ingrained into his cop nature. Now he had to explain it to Kally and make the fact he never told her seem okay. It was for her peace of mind. What did she expect? How was he supposed to tell her?
He cleared his throat. “Okay…maybe you can tell me what you heard.”
Her jaw shut, and her lips tightened.
“Okay, maybe not.” Slade hated the silence sitting between them. “I wanted to know what happened between you and your ex. And the night of your sister’s call…with you so upset and not talking to me, well, I reverted to the ‘chase down the leads’ side of me.
“I called Red and asked him to check into Matt’s criminal record.”
Kally’s eyes widened, and in the shade of the truck’s roof she regained her elfin appearance. Her jaw trembled, or perhaps she chewed on words she wanted to say, but she remained silent.
“You didn’t know he had a record, did you?”
She shook her head, and her gaze dropped to her tangled fingers. Kally retreated completely behind her porcelain doll exterior. Her voice was tiny, cracked. “I had no idea.” She pushed further away from him, turning her back to the door. “Why did you have someone look into Matt’s record? And for God’s sake, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Well, I-I…” He searched frantically for a viable reason. “I didn’t want to upset you any further.”
“How could I not be upset? You lied to me.”
His jaw set on edge. If there was one button to push and make Slade angry, Kally had found it with deft grace. His voice was close to a growl. “Excuse me?” Tension built in his shoulders. “You want to explain that one to me? I never lied to you.”
“You withheld information—important information. You lied to me without saying a word.”
Why is this all falling apart? His eyes rolled to the ceiling in search of answers. Reason left him, chased away by the rising frustration that tightened his muscles. “Well, you’ve got messed up reasoning.”
“Call it what you want.” She crossed her arms and looked through the windshield. A hard, cold voice issued from her. “Can we go please? I don’t want to sit here and argue.”
“Are you done then?” Slade replaced his Stetson. The shifter was cold when he moved the gearshift from park to neutral.
“Oh, I’m done.” Her voice fell to a dark, thick tone.
A sick feeling she may be done with more than this tiff overtook Slade. The truck rolled from the parking lot and back onto Highway 24, but Slade felt like they drove from the happy place they’d found at the decorating party back toward the dark she had run away from. His eyes strayed from the road to Kally, who was withdrawn and curled in on herself. White teeth pinched her bottom lip, and a tear shimmered on her eyelashes. His frustration faded, replaced with an impotent ache to hold her and soothe away her hurts. “Kally, I’m sorry, I just—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry.” Her words were void of emotion. “Matt said ‘sorry’ hundreds of times. It started to lose its meaning after a while.”
“Don’t compare me to him.” His knuckles clenched over the steering wheel. “I haven’t hit you, haven’t even raised my voice…”
Sullen silence answered him. Her arms circled tighter around her chest. Slade yearned to pull her out of herself, to goad her back to the Kally who touched him and was touched by him. His fingers twitched a physical echo of his emotional desire to hold her hand. “Kally, come on…” Please be reasonable.
“I know you’re not like Matt.” Shadows veiled her eyes when she finally turned to him, and her bottom lip had softened. “And maybe that’s what hurts so much. You have thrown me for a serious loop, and my head is spinning.”
Maybe she’ll come around… “It’ll settle after we get home. A hot bath and good night’s sleep and you’ll be just fine.”
“I doubt it.” The weight of her gaze deserted him, leaving an empty ache. She readjusted in her seat, her lovely profile aimed up the street instead of at him. “Are we close to the P.D.?”
“Yeah, it’s not far now.” Slade had hardly noticed the turn from Highway 24 onto Route 112 and Yukon County Road. It was about the time his knuckles tightened enough to crack. These roads had rolled beneath his wheels so many times he could drive them on autopilot. At the intersection of Cont-Moore County and Hulett-New Haven, autopilot shut down and Slade realized how close they were. Anxiety welled in him, spilling over the containment wall behind which he’d dammed it.
He’d walked away from the job and regretted it, craved the ever-changing pace of things until Kally had come along. Preoccupied by their argument, Slade could not stop the sudden rush of adrenaline spilling through his veins. His respiration sped up, pulse, too, his mouth ran dry.
He loved it. He hated it. And it was the last thing he wanted to deal with. Kally’s words, “I doubt it” drifted through his mind, a ghost bent on haunting him. What did she mean? Why did it sound so…final?
Time for dwelling on those questions ran out like his patience on last season’s cattle drive. The Dodge rolled to a stop in his normal parking space, stirring up more memories. He put the truck in park and pulled the keys. Kally sat in her seat, tucking her hair behind her ears like he knew she did when she was nervous. He empathized with the sensation. Adrenaline jitters danced in his muscles and his jaw ached from clenching it. But inside, he was hollow, gutted by the fires of stress and disagreement. Hopes of Kally’s support were gone, smashed beneath the stampede of Red’s words.
Shock could’ve knocked him on his ass when he got out of the Dodge and Kally didn’t. He skated around the hood of the truck, pausing to cast an apologetic glance through the side window. A pensive tilt to her eyebrows concerned him when she looked back, but then she gave him a weak smile.
Okay, maybe things aren’t so bad after all… Hope flickered in the darkness in his chest. A mumbled “thank you” slipped from her lips when he opened the door. She drifted behind him, scuffing her boots across the lot and up to the entrance.
He stood there at the door, calm on the outside, storms raging within. Brains buzzing and chest tight, he stood dreading the first step past the threshold. The minute the handle chilled his palm he knew his defenses were down. The realization nearly slapped him in the face. His mother was right. Finding Kally was not necessarily any different than any other call he’d run. He was different. He didn’t have blinders on. The night he had found her he saw and felt more than he had allowed himself to experience on the job.
A heavy sigh behind him reminded Slade of why he was really there: not for a trip down Nostalgia Lane, but to pick up Kally’s belongings. He withheld the pain from his expression when he looked over his shoulder. She seemed shrunken, hunched with her shoulders curled in, her stubborn will still seeped through the cracks in her porcelain façade. “Are you ready for this?”
It was a question he asked himself, and her.
“Let’s get it over with.” The dark surly tone in her voice suffocated whatever little hope he’d entertained for things to right themselves quickly.
He was a ship without a mast or cannons for defense. A distinct sense of lurching seasickness rode along with him through the doors when the building’s familiarity washed over him in a seductive wave. Shouts of “Slade!” and “Welcome back!” rang from the lockers and chief’s office. Those shouts were a siren’s song without Kally’s calming influence, and Slade drifted off to talk to Richter, his favorite rookie.
Kally melded into the background, a gull caught in his storm. He hardly noticed her slipping along the outside wall and up to the reception desk.
The joy of returning to the fold was tainted. Without Kally by his side, or at least in his line of sight, the hubbub was somehow hollow. The old stories lacked their former glory, the smells failed to seduce him, and eventually he extricated himself from the shoulder-whacking gaggle and made his way back to the desk near the entrance.
Unease wriggled through him, and one of the snakes in his gut made its way into his throat. Red Baxter arrived for his shift and stood at the desk, locked in conversation with Kally. Slade trusted Red with his life. He knew the man wouldn’t intentionally cause harm, but after Kally’s response to Red running a scan of Stransberg’s records, he didn’t know how Kally would react. Judging their body language, Slade knew Red was trying to convince the girl of something, and by the tilt of her hips and pinched tight curve of her ass, he knew she was being obstinate still. Poor Red. He’d learned in the last hour arguing with Kally was an exhausting experience.
Kally’s arms were crossed. Red’s hand was out in a gesture of supplication. “Give the guy a chance, Ms. Jensen. He asked out of concern for you.”
“And he went behind my back to do it.” The flat tone had not left her voice, and her eyebrows seemed weighted toward the floor. “Altruism and secrecy shouldn’t go hand in hand.”
Yup. Slade shook his head. She’s using big words. She’s still pissed.
Red’s hand fell, flipping in mid air to smack down on the desk surface. Shaking his head, he stuffed his hand in his pockets. “I’m sorry you feel that way. Whether or not you’ve listened to a word I’ve said is your choice, but please don’t be angry at Slade for doing what he thought was right to protect you.”
Fists on her hips, Kally seemed even more entrenched. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
Two boxes sat on the desk, both of them clearly addressed to Kally. Slade attempted to be chipper when he walked up. “So, I see you two have had time to talk. Thanks for keeping Kally company, Red.”
“Happy to be of assistance.” Certainty filled his voice. Red’s expression said otherwise.
The two men shook hands, and then Red excused himself and disappeared into a conference room when Slade wedged his way between Kally and the boxes. “Let me get these.”
“Of course.”
Hooking the toe of his boot in the door, he forced it open and then used his butt to hold the door open for Kally to pass through. An unreadable expression masked her face, and her hair was tucked behind her ears. He had the worst urge to run his fingers through the blonde
strands and set it loose like it was when she had kissed him in the dining room. It felt like silk over the back of his hands, and silk would have been so much better than the cardboard boxes he carried. And sweet, soft, floral Kally would be so much better than hard, dour Kally.
The top box slid when he jumped out of the way of the swinging door. He tipped back to counter the skid. The awkward thing bumped against his chest, and he found carrying the boxes and opening the Dodge’s door impossible. Kally strode to the end of the truck and dropped the tailgate for him, but by the time he’d bungee-strapped the boxes in, she’d walked around and let herself into the cab.
Slade shook his head and then lifted the tailgate with his knee before finishing the action by pushing it with his hands. He almost dreaded the drive home. Road salt left a dry film on his hands, which he dusted off before adjusting his Stetson and rounding the side of the truck. She was stoic when he climbed in, quiet when he started the truck. On some level, he had to agree with her about why.
He had been her main support in healing after her accident and from her abusive relationship. Kally had put all her faith in him and only kept from him what was too painful to deal with at the time. He, on the other hand, had intentionally kept information from her. Yes, he had the best of intentions. In retrospect, she should have known what he did, whether it scared her or not. Now, he was dealing with the aftermath.
Hindsight was truly twenty-twenty.
Slade and Kally: Letting Go of the Reins, Book 1
Chapter Fifteen
After everything I’d shared with Slade, every way he’d helped and healed me, he had lied to me? Not just lied, but compounded the falsehood—buried it, hid it, mounded pleasantries on top of it.
Why? In the name of protecting me from the truth?
