"May I come in?" Richard spoke.
He took one step inside the room and his face lit up when he saw his wife sitting up in bed, his son in her arms, the most beautiful sight in the world for any man.
He came and sat on the other side of the bed, smiled at Rachel, then smiled at his wife with adoration in his dark eyes. He lie down beside her and put his arm around her shoulders tenderly.
Rachel slipped away quietly, leaving them to savour the moment in private.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
It was spring before Bethany was strong enough to leave her bed. Everyone on the estate and beyond was praying for her recovery, but none more so than Richard.
Lucy brought Caroline to see Rachel so she could soothe her fears, but the girl did not seem reassured.
"My Lady," she said at once. "Lucy says I can rely on your word, that if you say His Lordship will help my child I can believe you. But then some of the servants have been saying other things."
She stopped abruptly before Lucy's harsh glare.
"What things?" Rachel demanded.
Caroline glanced up at Lucy for permission to continue and she just glared back at her.
"You have started spreading gossip now," she said harshly. "You had best continue."
"What things?" Rachel repeated.
"That you are His Lordship's mistress and he wants you here because his wife is too ill to… A man like that cannot be trusted."
Rachel was furious, not that she spoke her mind, but that anyone thought Richard would have her waiting to take him to her bed when his wife could not.
"Caroline!" Lucy cried, shocked. "You must not believe gossip. His Lordship is devoted to his wife and Lady Rachel is only here because Her Ladyship asked her to stay."
"I cannot believe his servants would be saying such things about him," Rachel said shakily.
"Sorry, My Lady," Caroline said. "They do not disapprove of him, do not think that. It seems they expect a man like him to need a woman regardless."
"You are wet nurse to Her Ladyship, Caroline," Lucy said firmly. "Have you seen him leave her side of a night? Each night he shares her bed. How you of all people can believe such lies is beyond me. Use a bit of common sense, girl."
Rachel drew a deep breath before deciding this conversation was best left for another time.
"I called you here to tell you that if your child is indeed a Summerville, His Lordship will make quite sure you are well provided for. I have known him long enough to know that. He can do no more. He has had men searching for his cousin for many months, but he cannot leave his wife to search himself. You will have to wait until she is out of danger before I tell him about you. For now you have a comfortable position and a good roof over the heads of yourself and your daughter." Rachel paused to study her expression, looking for signs of insolence. If she upset Bethany with this, she would get nothing; Rachel would see to that. "Just do not go talking of it to Her Ladyship. No one will thank you for upsetting her."
When she had left, Rachel turned to Lucy hopefully.
"Is she any better? She must be improving, surely."
"She is a little better, My Lady," Lucy replied. "She is still weak and will likely never fully regain her strength, but she is able to leave her bed at last if only for a few hours."
"If they are saying things about Richard, I have to go back to Finsbury," Rachel said firmly. "If I am not here, the gossip will die away. I cannot have them slander his name like that."
"It is your decision, My Lady," she answered. "Shall I ask him to come and see you? He will not want you chased away by a lot of gossip."
"It is not for my sake, Lucy, it is for Bethany's. I do not want her hurt by idle talk."
"You are too generous," she muttered as she turned to go. "I will ask him to call."
***
Rachel was watching from the window when he arrived on horseback that evening. It was early, a fine spring evening and the sun was just setting, painting his dark hair red, outlining his figure with a glowing light.
Her heart leapt when she saw him. Why, in all the years she had known him, had that never happened before? Because before Bethany she was always afraid. In the back of her mind where it couldn't trouble anyone, lurked a small fear that one day he might make some move to change the nature of their friendship.
If only things had been different, it might have been her he was coming home to. She could not forget that now, just as Bethany could not forget that it was not him that had kept their relationship platonic.
She opened the door just as he drew rein. He dismounted and passed the reins to a stable boy before stepping forward and hugging Rachel close to him. She did not miss the stable boy's curious glance. She expected they would be timed now, to see just how long he stayed, alone with her in her house while his poor wife lie weak and unable to give him what he needed.
She could well understand how things must look to them, and while neither she nor Richard cared, if only she could be sure that Bethany would also not care.
Louisa brought mulled wine, and Rachel did not miss the resentment in her eyes when she looked at him. So this new gossip had reached her ears as well. She knew there was no truth in it, but it was hurting her lady’s fragile reputation and that she would not like.
"I am told your wife is recovering," Rachel said as soon as they were seated. "I think it best if I leave now. You no longer need me here and people are saying awful things about us."
"What sort of things?"
"That you are keeping me here to be of service to you whilst your wife cannot."
He smiled an amused smile and she could not help but wonder what he found to be amused about in the situation.
"I care nothing for what they say about me," he said. "But I do care what they say about you. If you will feel better back in Finsbury, then so be it. I thank you so much for being here and I know Bethany would thank you too."
"It is for her sake I must go," she replied. "If people believe what they are saying, they will start to pity her and I cannot allow that."
"You are right, as always."
"There is one thing I need to tell you before I go," she told him. "About your wet nurse, Caroline."
"What about her?"
"She says her child is the result of a rape, a rape by your cousin."
His eyes opened wide and he drew a deep, quick breath. The shock was clear in his dark eyes, his cheeks flushed crimson with shame.
"It seems she worked for him at his house in Norwich,” Rachel went on. “I have not seen the child, so I cannot tell if there is any resemblance."
"Do you believe her?" Richard asked with a frown. "Is he capable of that?"
Rachel recalled that afternoon in her house when she was forced once more to call on Richard's protection.
"I know he is," she replied. "It was only my convincing him that you and I had never parted that saved me from his advances."
Now he looked even more shocked and she realised Bethany had never shown him her letter, that he knew nothing about his cousin's behaviour to Rachel.
"I had intended to end his miserable existence as soon as I caught up with him, and every day it seems I am given more reason to do so. If he hurt you, I will skin him alive."
"I cannot pretend I enjoyed the experience," she answered. "But he believed me when I told him you and I were still together. It was, after all, what he wanted to believe, that you might agree with him that Bethany was not good enough. I am sorry for that."
He got to his feet and took her hands in his.
"There has been no word, no sign of him. I believe he has fled the country, but rest assured when he returns, I shall be waiting for him. And if not me, the Queen's guards."
"You have informed on him?"
"I have. I do not want to be associated with his traitorous activities." He paused then drew her to him and kissed her cheek. "Take care of yourself my dear. Send word if you need me."
She nodded then did something she
never thought herself capable of. She reached up and put her arms around his neck, kissed him full on the lips. He responded only briefly, but rewarded her with a delighted smile and held her closer.
He would not ask. She knew he would not; he always knew what was in her heart. For the first time in her life, she felt a small spark of passion, but it could never amount to anything even were he not in love with his wife. It was comforting to know that she could feel after all.
CHAPTER TWELVE
She was in the cottage again. It was cold, damp and dark. There was little light that could penetrate through the trees, the snow came through the shutters and through the roof. Pointless trying to light a fire when it would be snuffed out, leaving choking smoke in its wake.
She was angry, but also heartbroken and although she knew she had brought this on herself, she still could not accept that he would treat her like this. He would come soon; he would realise how far his rage had taken him and he would come to release her. He had to come soon.
She did not know what was worse, freezing in this place, hungry and too cold to get out of bed to find food, or knowing that he loved someone else, that he did not care if she died here.
She called out for him in her sleep and she thought she heard him answer, tell her he was there, he would not leave, but she could not see him. The sight which greeted her when she opened her eyes was the dark, cold hovel, but she could still hear his voice. Why could she not reach him?
She was so frightened, scared that if anyone found her he would know, he would come and put an end to her miserable existence. Perhaps that would be better than this.
***
Bethany did not know how long it was before she heard voices and knew they were real, not part of her nightmare. She heard Rachel's maid, Lucy, heard her calling to Lord Summerville.
"My Lord. Her Ladyship is waking up. Her fever is down."
Then she heard Richard and felt his weight on the bed beside her, felt his hand in hers, felt his lips on her fingers. She opened her eyes, afraid she would see those flaking walls, those rotten shutters and mud floor. But she was in her own bed, Richard was holding her hand against his lips, Lucy was bringing her milk.
Her hand went under the covers to feel her stomach and found it flat; her heart sank and she captured an escaping sob.
"The baby?"
"It is a boy, darling," came Richard's voice. "He is well, just a little small."
She turned her head to follow his gaze and saw movement in the cradle beside the bed. A boy? Another son to fulfil her promise.
The next time she woke it was to hear Richard talking to the physician, heard him telling her husband there would be no more babies. What did that mean, exactly? She needed to know.
"What did he mean?" She asked when Richard came back to lie beside her. "No more babies. Does that mean I cannot conceive again, or that it would be dangerous?"
He knew what she meant and he knew how important it was to her that it was the former option
"You have lost a lot of blood and…" he said awkwardly. “He does not think a conception is possible."
She sighed deeply. She had three beautiful babies; God willing they would grow strong and happy, unlike their poor sister. She could be satisfied with them; was it too much to ask that she did not lose that beautiful love which meant so much to them both?
"Kiss me," she said.
He hesitated, his eyes sweeping over her beautiful face. Her skin was white, all the colour had drained away and she was thin. All he wanted to do was fold her in his arms, kiss away the pain and bring back the bloom to her cheeks.
He was terrified that would never happen, that he would lose her now after everything they had been through together.
At last he put the treacherous thoughts out of his mind; he needed to be strong for both of them. He showed her that playful smile she always loved so much.
"As long as it is just a kiss," he answered. "I know how fervent you become when tempted."
She smiled and clasped his hand in hers. He leaned toward her and his lips met hers in a kiss that only he could give, that long, tender, breathtaking kiss which used to thrill her to her core, used to make her long for more. Now she wanted only the kiss, nothing further.
"Will you tell me something?" She asked him.
"What? That I love you?"
"You can tell me that any time and I do not expect to have to ask. I want to know if you have ever kissed Rachel like that."
"Why would you want to know that?"
"I am just trying to understand her. Have you?"
He was thoughtful for a moment, then he answered with a note of resignation.
"Yes, I have," he confessed. “Just once.”
"And?"
"And nothing."
"So now I know how she feels. Nothing. Empty, passionless."
Then there were the tears again and she began to feel useless and weak, feelings she did not want to show him.
"It will return," he assured her. "And if it does not, then we will deal with it."
"If it does not return I will have no advantage over Rachel."
He laughed gently and hugged her to him.
"You will always have a big advantage over Rachel," he said softly. "I am not in love with her."
She drifted off to sleep again and this time the bad memories did not follow. She felt weak, too weak to stay awake, but she fought against it. She was afraid now, afraid she would not recover. When Lucy came to bathe her face, Bethany clasped her hand.
"I want to see Rachel," she told her.
***
It was some three months before Bethany was able to get out of bed and the first thing she asked was if Rachel would sell her house there in Suffolk and return to Finsbury permanently. The house had been up for sale for a long time, but there was little interest.
She would have liked her to stay, if only because she knew what she owed to her, but it was not to be.
"She wants to turn her house into an orphan home, one properly managed,” Richard said. “Seeing that place where we found Joshua upset her and she says she has no need of the house. She will not be returning to Suffolk if all people are going to do is gossip and talk slander. She asked me to oversee it and she wants only women to run it."
Bethany felt a little tug at her heartstrings.
"That is a kind and generous thing for her to do," she remarked.
"Apparently Louisa told her some things about the place, about her time there, and from the look of it I am surprised any child survives. The doctor would not leave you there because it was filthy and there was no proper bedding or heat. It will be good for her, give her something to occupy her mind. I have said we will try to find honest people to run things and we will put ourselves in charge, when you are well enough."
"Of course. It is a lovely thing to do."
Then his fingers found the back of her neck and all other thoughts flew from her mind as his warm touch aroused a little spark of passion, a tingling in her breasts, a need she had feared gone forever.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The life they found with their three children was only slightly compromised by Anthony's betrayal, as Richard employed guards to accompany the children wherever they went, even on the Summerville estate.
They had found no trace of Anthony since the kidnapping and the fear was always there that he might return at any time and decide to try again. This time Rachel would have no warning as he would know not to trust her.
They could only assume he had fled the country. That would not have stopped Richard from following him, had it not been for his wife and children. He too was enjoying the simple life with his family.
He had developed a habit of bringing Bethany breakfast in bed, a rather unconventional thing to do, since he insisted on bringing it himself and eating with her.
This day he lie beside her after they had eaten, his arm around her and tracing a pattern on her arm.
"I have to find a positio
n for Caroline," she said thoughtfully, just pondering what she needed to do that day. "Alex no longer needs a wet nurse but I cannot simply turn her out."
He sighed heavily and she knew him well enough to know he had something on his mind.
"There is something you should know about Caroline," he said at last.
"I thought there might be," she replied.
"She was told not to bother you with it, but now you need to know."
She had wondered about the woman’s evasive answers to her questions, wondered why she would reveal nothing about herself. If it was only that she was an unmarried mother, that would not be so bad, but she sensed from Richard's hesitation there was more to it than that.
"Her child is a Summerville," he said at last.
Bethany’s heart almost stopped in her chest. What was he saying? Had he grown tired of her, sought comfort elsewhere? Why would he do that? How did he do that when they spent so much time together? And with a serving girl? That was against everything he believed in. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes wide, her face stricken.
"Oh, no," he said quickly. "Not me. Anthony."
She was so relieved, she almost laughed out loud.
"Does he know?"
"I have no idea," he replied, "but that is not the worst of it. She claims he raped her."
Somehow that ugly word seemed to intrude a lot into their lives and she recalled Rachel's letter when she revealed why she lied to Anthony about her relationship with his cousin. He would have raped her had she not threatened him with Richard. Bethany felt very responsible for the direction his path had taken him once away from Richard's influence. But then, even had they not quarrelled, he could not stay under his cousin's guidance forever. There had to come a time when he faced the world alone and she did not believe Richard could have done more, unless his behaviour since had been as an act of some sort of perverse revenge, to blacken the Summerville name.
Had he not quarrelled with his cousin about her and left Summerville Hall, would he still have turned out to be a man capable of this?
"There is no way of knowing for sure if the child is really his," she remarked.
HOLY POISON: Boxed Set: The Complete Series 1-6 Page 85
