"They are not going to change their minds," she said. "Your father is also against it. Please Simon, there is but one way to force their hand and we must take it."
He looked down at her as he held her in his arms, trying to decide the best course of action, trying to decide whether he wanted to dishonour his father to win the girl he loved. At last he kissed her, long and passionately, and her heart hammered as he unfastened her bodice and slipped his hand inside.
She felt him growing against her, she felt his breath coming faster, matching her own.
"This is right, Simon," she assured him. "Something that feels this good cannot be wrong, can it?"
“Love is never wrong,” he murmured. “That is what my father said he told my mother. But I cannot do this, not yet. It will have to be a last resort and we have not yet exhausted all our options. I am sorry.”
She kissed him again, trying to arouse his desire once more. He was right of course, but it was so hard to resist him. Despite wanting him and although she would have given herself to him without a moment’s hesitation, she admired him even more for refusing her. He would not have done that had he not really loved her, would he?
The sound of approaching hooves made them stop.
"Who is it?" She asked.
He strode to the window and looked out to see a lady dismounting and tying her horse’s reins to the post.
"It is a lady,” he said. “A very well dressed lady."
She went to stand behind him and look out onto the courtyard.
"It is my mother," she said. Her eyes moved to look into the distance, searching the horizon for a sign of her father. "I wonder why she has come here alone."
"There is but one way to find out," he said as he began to fasten his shirt.
His action reminded her that her own clothes were in disarray and she hurried to straighten her bodice. The front door opened, and Lady Summerville appeared, her eyes puffy as though she had been crying.
"Mother," Estelle said at once. "What brings you here?"
"I came to find you of course," she replied sternly. "You knew, I think, that your father and I would not want you coming here until we had spoken to you. I asked you to wait; was that really too much to ask?"
Simon came up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder possessively, as though assuring her they belonged together. Her mother caught her breath when she saw him and stared at him in a sort of wonder.
"You look so much like your mother," she murmured softly. "You did not used to, when you were a child. Then you were the image of your father, but now...now you look just like Julia. That hair, that face, those eyes."
Tears spilled onto her cheeks as she spoke and the sight of them astonished Estelle.
"You knew my mother, My Lady?" Simon asked. "You speak as though you knew her well."
"She should," came a voice from outside the room. "They were sisters."
It was Simon's father, returned to try once more to destroy their future, no doubt, but Estelle could think of nothing but his words.
"Sisters?" Simon asked in astonishment.
Her mother had turned to look at Mr Carlisle and a very small smile formed on her mouth.
"Charles," she greeted him.
"Bethany."
Simon and Estelle exchanged glances. The idea that these two might know each other, and well enough to be on first name terms, had never occurred to either of them.
"And His Lordship?" Charles Carlisle enquired roughly. "Where is he?"
"I wanted to come alone," she replied.
Charles drew a deep breath then sighed heavily. He looked distraught, as though all his troubles were coming back to haunt him. Bethany looked the same.
"You certainly look better than the last time we met," he said, addressing Lady Summerville. "I am surprised you are still with him after what he did to you."
Estelle stared in astonishment.
"It was not all one sided, Charles," Bethany replied. "You know the truth of that better than anyone. I love him; I could not live without him. What else is there to do? We swore to put the past behind us, but here is another ghost come to haunt us."
Estelle had no idea what they were talking about, but her mother had told her that she and her father had parted once, had thought they hated each other. Was this what he meant? She wondered what her father had done to her that was so bad, so terrible that Simon's father believed it to be unforgivable. But then if he was an important advisor to Queen Mary and callously ordered the deaths of hundreds of Protestants, and by a horrific method, anything was possible. This father she was learning about was not the man she had grown up with.
She also wondered how Mr Carlisle knew so much about it, but mostly this new revelation was giving her hope. She took Simon's hand and held on tight.
"Is this it?" She asked quickly, hopefully. "Is it because his mother and mine are sisters? That we are closely related? Is that why you do not want us to marry?"
They both looked at her with sympathy in their eyes, but she was not about to give them a chance to find more excuses.
"First cousins marry all the time," she argued. "It is legal, sanctioned by the church. That is it?"
Her mother shook her head.
"There is only one way to separate them," Charles Carlisle said angrily. "He must tell them the truth. We must tell them the truth."
"I know you are right, Charles," she replied quietly. "I just wish there were another way."
"Those warnings we received?" Mr Carlisle said quickly. "Your daughter tells me they came from Lord Summerville himself? Is that true?"
"It is, yes. I wrote you about that."
"And he nearly lost his head because of it?"
"Yes. If Mary had not died when she had, he would not be with me now. My children would never have been born and none of this could have happened."
He looked abashed for a moment, glancing down at his feet, then at last he faced her again.
"Thank him for me," he mumbled.
Those words gave hope to the young couple. Perhaps this could be the end of this feud that was keeping them apart.
"Thank him yourself, Father," Simon said. "You will have to meet, if Estelle and I are to be married."
Simon held tighter to Estelle’s hand and she moved toward him, released his hand and put her arm around his waist. She looked at her mother, at his father, defiantly.
"Estelle," her mother said, reaching out her hand. "You must come home with me."
"No," she argued, shaking her head. "I am staying with Simon. We want to be married. You promised I could marry any man I loved. You promised! He promised!"
Her voice rose unwillingly and she could feel those tears again. She felt a sudden dread of what this 'truth' might be of which Charles Carlisle had spoken.
"Please, Estelle," Charles Carlisle spoke quietly. "Go with your mother, speak to His Lordship. I must speak to Simon alone; this will be the hardest thing I have ever had to say to him."
They both looked from one to the other of them, searching for some indication of this awful thing they were talking about, this secret they had between them. She turned to Simon and they kissed, passionately. His father gasped, her mother murmured a quiet 'no', Estelle sensed her reaching toward them.
They rode back to Summerville Hall in silence, but Estelle’s mind was a whirl of ideas. The most likely one she could find was that Simon had some awful disease that could be passed on to his children, or could kill him. Or perhaps she did. Perhaps she was the one with the disease. But if that were true, they would not have been discussing a marriage for her.
It would not matter; she would still want to be with him, no matter what. Nothing was going to come between them, nothing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Louisa moved into Rachel's House to help with the orphans and she spent a great deal of money on new clothing and equipment for them. Lord Summerville invited her to stay in Lady Rachel's apartments at Summerville Hall, but she chose
to leave.
It was not long before Louisa started to become very friendly with the Summerville’s manservant, Thomas. He had admired her for years, but she would have nothing to do with him because he did not approve of Rachel. Now she was gone and had left permission for her secrets to be known, he realised his mistake and was working hard to make amends.
Louisa was free and wealthy and able to decide for herself, but Thomas was not. He came into the sitting room one evening and asked for an interview with His Lordship.
"My Lord," he said, gathering his dignity. "I wish to marry. Would that be convenient to Your Lordship?"
Lord Summerville's face broke into a happy smile.
"Thomas, I believed you a confirmed bachelor, but I see the lovely Louisa has turned your head."
"My Lord," he said, suppressing a little grin. "I thought it likely you would guess."
"Just two questions, Thomas. Do you love her and does she feel the same?" Then his face broke into one of his playful smiles. "You are not after her recent inheritance, I hope."
Thomas smiled, knowing His Lordship was joking.
"I have loved her since I first saw her, My Lord," Thomas replied. "But she did not really approve of me. I am afraid we got off on the wrong foot regarding Lady Rachel and for that I am sorry."
"You thought you were defending my wife, and you were in a way. I cannot fault you for that."
Then he got to his feet and shook the man's hand.
"Where will you live?" He asked after a moment. "You know Rachel will only have women living in the orphan home. She stipulated it in her Will."
"I know, My Lord. There is a cottage nearby that has not been used for many years. We wondered, with Your Lordship's permission, if we might rebuild it and have it for our own."
"Of course. Tomorrow I will come and look, see if I can have it signed over to you and your new wife. I am very happy for you."
***
Being confined with women companions was possibly the most boring thing Susannah had ever had to endure. It was so tedious, being alone with a lot of females, gossiping and sewing, talking about this one's childbirth experiences and that one's.
That was frightening in itself. Many women died in childbirth, especially having their first child and Susannah did not want to die.
She missed Joshua so much. They would not let him see her, as though he had nothing to do with this baby. Her mother arrived from Surrey to be with her for the birth and she told her about her feelings.
“Why should he not be here?” She asked. “It is his child too. I want him with me.”
“Then you shall have him with you,” Elizabeth said. “There is no reason why not.”
“Really? They behaved as though I was asking the impossible.”
“Oh, take no notice. They think there is something mystical about it that men should not be allowed to know; he was there quick enough to make the child, was he not?”
Susannah giggled.
“I have missed you, Mother,” she said holding her hand. “Everyone here is so kind, but none of them have your sense of humour.”
Lady Summerville came to visit, almost as soon as Elizabeth arrived, and Susannah knew she would understand.
"They will not allow Joshua to visit me," she told her. "I miss him. I want him here with me, not all these silly women."
She smiled softly and put her arm around her.
"I will tell him," she said. "I doubt he knows you want him here. He likely thinks you want him to stay away until after the birth, as most women do. If he wants to visit with you and you want it too, these females are not going to keep him out."
When Joshua arrived, he dismissed all the women and their endless sewing and lie down beside his wife on the bed. He put his arm around her and his lips met hers in a thrilling kiss, as she clung to him.
"I have missed you so much," she told him.
"And I have missed you," he replied. "It will not be long now; it is nearly over. Then we can be together again."
"Until the next time."
"Yes, until the next time. But we will make the most of it, be sure of that."
Elizabeth crept out of the room with a little smile of satisfaction on her face. All she had ever wanted for her daughter was a loving marriage.
***
Estelle visited her brother’s wife just once during her confinement. Her head was full of Simon then and she really wanted to be with him, but she felt guilty that she had not visited before.
“Simon’s father is against his marrying me,” she said. “He blames my father for the death of his first wife, Simon’s mother. It is not fair that we should be kept apart by past quarrels.”
"You should tell your father about him, Estelle," Susannah pressed her. "If he does not consent, you will not be able to marry."
"I know. If he does not consent, neither will the Queen and then we shall have to run away together and live in sin."
"Estelle!"
"Oh, I mean it, make no mistake. They will not keep us apart just because they are enemies."
That was the last time she saw her before the pains of labour began and she could give her attention to nothing else. That was the day Simon’s stepmother arrived to reveal his relationship to Estelle.
She had been to visit Simon Carlisle and burst into the house when she arrived home. Susannah heard her going into her parents' sitting room, but nothing else until she heard sobbing in the hall downstairs. Then Joshua tried to comfort his sister and Susannah knew her parents had done the one thing they had vowed not to - they had refused consent.
***
“We have a daughter, my love,” Joshua said as he leaned across the bed and kissed her.
He leaned over Elizabeth who touched his arm affectionately and left them alone to talk.
“What happened?” Susannah asked. “I heard your sister, heard her crying.”
"Mother and Father have refused consent to her marriage," he said gravely. She expected him to be puzzled, to tell her it was all wrong, but he did not.
"You know why," she challenged him.
"I do, yes," he answered with a deep sigh. "My father told me. He thought Estelle might need my comfort or he would have kept it to himself for longer. Now he has to tell her, which will be the hardest thing to do."
"Well?"
He grinned indulgently.
"I will tell you, I promise, but not until Estelle knows. It would not be fair."
She was silent for a moment. She would have to be satisfied with that for now, as it was Estelle's business not hers, so she searched for another subject.
"Are you disappointed?" She asked him after a moment.
"Disappointed?"
"That the baby is a girl."
"God, no! She is perfect and when she is a little older, we will be able to get on with the business of trying to give her a brother."
She snuggled against him. She could not wait for those weeks to go by; she wanted him now. She had been aching for him for weeks.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The air was filled with tension on the journey home. Estelle watched the sun gradually disappearing beyond the horizon as she rode in silence beside her mother and she drew her cloak about herself to shut out the evening chill. There was an unfamiliar awkward silence between them never known before and they had nothing to talk about. They could hardly talk about the weather or even Susannah's baby, not when there was this great secret hanging over them all.
They had neared the house before Estelle broke the silence.
"I am going to marry Simon," she declared. "You cannot stop me."
Bethany only looked at her with sad eyes, knowing full well that she could stop her, that the Queen would never consent if her father did not.
“Be patient,” Bethany said. “Your father will tell you everything when we get home.”
“What was Mr Carlisle talking about?” Estelle demanded. “What did my father do to you to make you want to leave him?”
<
br /> She caught her breath.
“He did nothing to me that I did not do to him,” she replied. “We were both to blame.”
“To blame for what?”
“For the collapse of our marriage. And it took the death of your sister to bring us together again, a terrible price to pay for a second chance of happiness.”
“Well, that is in the past. I am glad you found each other again, but I have not had my first chance of happiness yet. I want to marry Simon! I love him and he loves me.”
"I am sorry, Estelle," she said with a mournful tone. "I know we told you the choice would be yours, but Simon has to be the exception. You cannot marry him."
"Why? Because his father and mine are enemies? What is that to us?" She only looked sadly at Estelle. "How would you like it if someone told you that you and Father could not be together? How would you feel then?"
"I think you know the answer to that," she answered gently. "I would be devastated, just as I was years ago when we parted, when I believed I would never see him again. I would not want to go on living without him. But we have been together for many years and we have been through an awful lot, things I would never want you to know about. You have not even lived with Simon, you will get over him. Not completely perhaps, you will always love him, but the hurt will fade."
"You want to force me into a marriage with someone else. I heard you."
"We would never force you into a marriage, Estelle," she assured her. "Surely you know that by now. We were only talking about you going away and giving yourself a chance to meet someone else. I promise."
"Well, I do not want someone else," she argued. "I want Simon and he wants me." She suddenly felt furiously angry, with her, with her father, with everyone. She wanted to break down that serenity her mother always seemed to have about her, that complacency. She drew a deep breath to give herself courage. "He is the only one who will want me after today."
Bethany gasped, sharply drew her horse to a stop, leaned across to grab Estelle’s horse's reins to stop him. She stared at her daughter with wide, terrified eyes and for one awful moment, Estelle thought she might strike her.
HOLY POISON: Boxed Set: The Complete Series 1-6 Page 98
