He gestured toward the house.
"He is a good man, I can see that even on such a brief meeting. There is no need to distress him more than is necessary."
She so desperately wanted to feel his arms around her, to feel his lips on hers, but he made no attempt to touch her, not even to hold her hand. She knew he was right, but she still resented him for it.
“Will you not at least kiss me goodbye?” She pleaded.
He shook his head.
“Best not,” he said.
She would never see him again and she looked dismally on a future without him. She stood and watched as he mounted his horse and rode away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Some three months after Simon's departure workmen started to renovate Winterton House. Estelle still rode that way each day, just to sit and watch the house for a little while, hoping Simon might reappear, hoping it had all been a bad dream. It was always quiet, no sound but the birds and the water from the nearby stream. She even stood on tiptoe to peer into the windows, but there was never a sign of anyone.
The portrait of Julia Winterton had gone; Estelle could see through the glass to the spot where it had hung. She was glad he had taken it; Julia deserved a place of honour somewhere and she knew Simon’s stepmother would want her to have such a place, just as her own mother had insisted on Rosemary having a place.
As Estelle drew rein and saw the workmen, her heart skipped a beat. She sat mounted and watched, hoping for a glimpse of Simon, wondering where he had got the money to do all this work, while at the same time remembering his promise not to return.
There were about ten workmen and they were replacing broken windows, mending the roof, putting in new doors and she could see through the gaps where the windows should be that someone was replastering the walls. It was going to be magnificent, more so than it had ever been and must have been costing much more than the place was worth.
She rode slowly toward the house, peering inside for a sign of pale blonde hair. One of the workmen stopped and bowed quickly to her.
"Can I help you?" He said.
No 'My Lady' but then he had no idea who she was and she likely should not have been here alone anyway.
"I was just wondering about the work," she replied. "My father owns the neighbouring estate, so I was curious. This place has been empty for many years."
He bowed again, this time with more care.
"It has been sold, My Lady," he said with more respect. "The new owner is completely renovating it, putting in new furniture as well. We were given permission to take any furniture we wanted."
He sounded doubtful, but she knew then. She knew who had bought it, because she knew of no one else that generous and that wealthy.
"You must do so," she reassured him. "Some of the furniture is valuable and some will serve your own families."
She turned and rode back to Summerville Hall, wanting to ask her father about his purchase of Winterton House.
"Yes, I bought it," he told her. "Simon was hardly likely to get a good price for it as it was, and I did not want to see him cheated. I doubt Sir Geoffrey's brother knew about its state of dilapidation; he thought he was giving Julia's son something worth having."
"But what are you planning on doing with it?"
"I intend to give it to Alex on his marriage," he told her. "He will not want to live here with us, will he? Charlotte is not used to a house this size nor this sort of society. She will feel uncomfortable among us so I thought it would be better for them both if they had their own house."
She watched him for a few moments and realised that she had unwittingly avoided being alone with him since Simon left. She was too ashamed for one thing; had it been her decision alone, she would have willing taken him to her bed. She was so certain she could force their hand, make them consent to the marriage.
Her father knew nothing about that and she did not want him to; he would feel even worse about Simon and her relationship with him if he knew that. Neither did she want him to know what a little whore his daughter could be.
Now, hearing his generosity to Simon and his plans for Alex, she felt even more ashamed and she rushed forward and threw herself into his arms.
"I am so sorry, Father," she told him. "I would never have consciously hurt you or Mother. I do love you both so much."
He hugged her to him and kissed the top of her head, then he spoke with a catch in his voice.
"It was hardly your fault," he murmured. "I am very glad you do not hate me for it."
"I could never hate you," she answered, her cheek against his chest. "I have been so fortunate to have you as my father. I do know that. I suppose that was why I fell for a man who was so much like you.”
“I could never have imagined you would ever meet him,” Richard said. “He lives in a different world to you, his father was my enemy. Just why Sir Geoffrey’s brother left him the estate I cannot fathom.”
“Perhaps he felt guilty. Perhaps he knew how his brother had treated her and wanted to make amends somehow.”
“Perhaps.” He held her out and studied her face. “When you are feeling a little better, I would like you to go to London, stay with Lord and Lady Kennington. Or perhaps you could stay with Lord and Lady Roxham.”
She forced a smile.
“You are thinking of their son?”
“You did get on well with him,” he said with a little smile. “Lord Roxham is a good man. It would be good for you, take your mind off Simon.”
She thought it possible that nothing would ever take her mind off Simon, but she said nothing. Her father already felt the pain of his past following him into the present to hurt his family, he did not need to know that.
“Will you tell me something?” She asked him. “It is about Rachel. Mother said she saved her life once; I would really like to know how.”
“That is your mother’s secret, not mine. You must ask her.”
***
She found Bethany sitting beside the oak tree in the clearing, the tree where Richard had carved their names, the tree where they had first known each other. She saw her from a distance, saw her make her way there then sit and she decided if she was ever going to know the answer to her question, now was the time.
Bethany saw her approach and smiled, held out her hand to her. Estelle felt relief at that gesture; she was afraid she might be angry, although she had really done nothing save fall in love.
“Come, sit beside me,” she said. “You are wondering, no doubt, how I could have forgiven your father for siring a child on my own sister.”
“It did cross my mind. I heard him, trying to take all the blame for Simon's birth."
“Since you were listening, I will tell you this,” Bethany said. “I told no lie. My sister was grateful. She had lived with that deviant for months, a beautiful, sensuous woman. He made her feel she was nothing, not worth even talking to. Your father took her to his bed and made her feel like a desirable woman again. He likely gave her the courage to flee, even had she not been with child."
"Then he proposed marriage to her sister," Estelle remarked, suddenly realising how ignoble that had been.
"Yes, he did. Not a very honourable thing to do, perhaps, but I too am grateful." She stopped talking and her eyes locked on those of her daughter before she went on. "Do you know why he chose me at the start?" She asked at last; Estelle shook her head. "Because I looked like Rachel."
"No.”
"Yes. He would never admit it, of course, and I am not nearly as beautiful as she was, but that was the initial attraction. He had not intended a love match and when he saw me, when I visited Julia, he was immediately attracted. That was why, although he thinks I do not know."
"How can you live with that?" Estelle demanded. "And how could you let him weep on your bosom for another woman?"
She smiled again, a little contemplative smile.
"I love him," she said simply. "I know he loved Rachel, but he loves me more. She gave him fr
iendship and support when he needed it, she risked her life for him. Of course he grieved for her and where else should he grieve, but in my arms?"
“How did she risk her life for him? How did she save yours? I asked Father but he said it was your secret not his.”
She gazed at her daughter in silence; at last she drew a deep breath.
“When I met Richard my father was trying his best to buy me a title, just like my poor sister. He did not much care who was wearing it, only that his grandchildren would have noble blood running through their veins, only that he would have access to court. That was the court of King Edward, of course; my father was fiercely Protestant, hated Catholics with a vengeance.”
“But my father is Catholic.”
“Yes, he is, but we kept that from my father. He would never have accepted a papist, not even for an earldom. But it was that which caused the rift between us. He offered me this beautiful home, a title, wealth and a man I could respect; in return I made certain promises to him. The most important one was that I would follow his faith.”
“You were Catholic?”
“I tried to be. I took the lessons, I attended mass, I did all the things I promised in that secret church.”
She glanced toward the disused church building standing deserted a few yards from where they sat. It was never used as a church any more; it was a place for the poor to find shelter.
“What happened?”
Tears filled her eyes as she looked at her daughter and she wiped at them with her fingers. Estelle reached across and took her hand.
“I did not believe, you see,” she said. “King Edward was safe on the throne, he had made Jane Grey his heir, there was never going to be another Catholic monarch. I thought I could have it all, pay lip service to the faith but never have to show myself. I was a fool, a greedy, selfish fool but I never realised that until Mary Tudor won the throne, with your father’s help. By that time it was too late; I already adored him, but I could not follow him.”
The tears were coming faster now and Estelle took a small cloth from her purse and passed it to her mother. Bethany forced a smile and swallowed.
“He took me to court for the coronation. I had not seen him for months, not since he went off to fight for Mary, and I was so thrilled to be with him. I tried so hard, but I hated that woman and he could see I hated her. He was afraid she might also see it, yet she wanted me to be one of her ladies in waiting. He knew I could never bear to be that close to the woman; she was ordering the deaths of my friends, trampling over the faith in which I had been raised. So he took me home and returned to London without me.”
“And the Queen? How did he explain to her?”
“That was the problem, he could not. After Alicia was born, she started to demand I serve her, but I had no idea of that then. To protect me, to keep me safe and away from court, Rachel took my place.”
Estelle straightened in surprise.
“Took your place? You mean, she pretended to be his wife? She lived with him at the palace?”
Bethany nodded.
“But he did not tell me, you see. I thought he was risking his life for her. I had failed him, had broken the most important promise and driven him into the arms of another woman. If only he had told me.”
Estelle said nothing; there was nothing to say.
“Then my sister gave her life for the cause, helping Protestants escape to France and because I believed I had lost Richard anyway, I began helping as well. I provided transport, money and disguises to get the Protestants to the coast.”
“You did?”
Estelle felt a little glow of pride, but her mother was not smiling.
“When he found out what I was doing, we parted.”
She turned her head slightly and stared at the remains of the cottage, her memory showing her a year of hardship imprisoned in that place, imprisoned by the man she loved. And she remembered the promise she had made to him, that their children would never know what had happened there.
"I will never tell my children all the sorrows of the past," she said. "That was a promise we made to ourselves and to each other. Be satisfied with knowing that we nearly lost each other for good, and now we will do anything for each other.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Alex’s wedding to Charlotte was a small affair, just as they wanted, but it was rather nice just the same. The couple had sunshine, the bride looked lovely, Lord Summerville took the place of the mysterious missing father and gave away the bride and they moved into Winterton House, which they had renamed Summerville House.
The wedding party was held at Summerville Hall and at the end of the evening, Alex and Charlotte left for their new home, where they could be private, just as Joshua and Susannah had been allowed to be private.
Yes, Susannah thought, Lord Summerville was a very wise man and he knew an awful lot about the ways of women, about the ways of love. It was not surprising that Simon had turned out to be his son. She was only surprised he was the only one.
Susannah was very glad when the celebrations were over, when they were back in their own part of the house, with just her husband and her baby. They would begin the business of hiring a nurse tomorrow, but for now they needed this privacy.
They had stayed with her parents for a few weeks before the wedding, but they could not relax and be together properly there; Always there were servants buzzing in and out of the bedchambers, wanting to help with her clothes, wanting to brush her hair or help her to bed.
Lord and Lady Kennington were just as devoted to each other as the Summervilles and they would certainly understand their daughter’s need to be alone with her husband, but they wanted their own private place back, the east wing that Lord Summerville had renovated for them.
She had found time to talk to her mother about Charlotte and was not really surprised when she agreed with the Summervilles.
“I am sure Lord Summerville knows what he is doing,” she said. “It is hardly Charlotte’s fault she was born out of wedlock and after the recent scandal with Joshua’s sister, her illegitimacy seems rather insignificant.”
“It is not as if she is marrying the heir to Summerville,” Lord Kennington remarked. “That would be a different matter.”
Joshua grinned. He liked Susannah’s parents, but he found Lord Kennington sometimes a little self important. He was always amused at the way his wife could bring him down to earth.
He had no way of knowing that Adrian Kennington suffered his own guilt about the affair with Simon Carlisle. He had known all along that Simon was Richard’s son; it was a huge coincidence that Simon’s stepmother had been his own brother’s widow and although they had not seen each other since she married Charles Carlisle, if he had told someone about him, it might never have happened.
But he knew that was ridiculous. How were they to know who the man was Estelle was falling in love with, when she kept him a secret from all of them?
***
Susannah still felt uncomfortable around Charlotte and it was not long before Joshua noticed it. She had no idea that his father had also noticed.
"So you think Charlotte is not good enough to join our family," Joshua said one night when they were getting themselves ready for bed.
"I did not say that," she protested.
"You did not have to. My father has noticed it as well as me."
Susannah looked away, feeling her cheeks burning.
"There is not much goes unnoticed as far as he is concerned," Joshua said. "You should know that by now."
"Forgive me. I did not want to embarrass you before His Lordship."
"You did not. It seems he understands how you feel, although I cannot imagine how." He paused and turned her face to look at him. "Would it make you feel any better if you knew that Charlotte's father was a Summerville?"
Her eyes opened wide in amazement.
"How?"
"My father told me she was fathered by his cousin," Joshua said. "He would say no more, on
ly that her father died some years ago."
While she breathed a small sigh of relief, she could feel her husband retreating from her.
"So," he said, "my brother's wife is now good enough to sit at your table, when only a few minutes ago she was not worth talking to?"
He got up and left the room, leaving her alone to wait half the night for his return, which never happened.
Things remained frosty between the couple after their latest disagreement about Charlotte. Susannah was more than a little hurt that he did not seem to understand, even when his father so obviously did. She thought perhaps she could ask His Lordship to speak to him, but she might have known he would think of it himself.
She had summoned the courage to go and ask him, but as she was about to open the door, she heard his voice.
"Joshua, your wife does not have the advantage of my liberal ideas, as you prefer to call them," he said. "You must have more patience. She will never think like you, that is not who she is. Do you want a subservient wife who will obey your every command? Or do you want an adult companion who can think for herself?"
"I know what you are saying, Father," Joshua replied, "but it is insulting to Charlotte. She is Alex's wife and should be treated as such."
"I agree. Perhaps you could come to some compromise. Do not destroy your relationship with your wife over something like this, it is really not worth it. Nothing is worth it."
Susannah retreated to the bedchamber just as Joshua opened the door. Since their latest argument he had been sleeping elsewhere.
He seemed surprised to see her there, since she had crept inside to wait for him after supper. She knew he would come here to change his clothes before retiring to wherever it was he had been sleeping.
"Susannah," he greeted her with a small bow.
"Joshua. Can we talk, please?"
"About?"
"About where you have been spending your nights," she said with difficulty. She was not only hurt, she was also angry at having to be the one to start this conversation. "I do not want to learn in twenty years’ time that you too have an illegitimate son somewhere."
HOLY POISON: Boxed Set: The Complete Series 1-6 Page 100
