by Dawn Martens
I walk into the living room and shout for the kids. Both come running out to me.
“We’re going home,” I say gently.
Jessica squeals. “Yay, I can’t wait to see Mom!”
Ethan just looks at me for a bit before speaking. “Does this mean we’re going to meet our dad?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek before answering. “Yeah, but until your mom tells him about you guys, you can’t say anything, okay?” I know this is asking a lot of the kids, but I can’t hurt Eden this way. She needs to tell him, and I hope to fuck she tells him soon.
I spend the rest of my week packing and getting things figured out for the kids to switch schools. Damn, when did I become such a mom? If I hadn’t lost my baby, I wonder how different my life would be right now. Would I have had a son or a daughter? Would he or she look like Mason or me? Whose eyes would I see when I looked into my child’s face? I know I shouldn’t dwell on the unknown, but I can’t help but wonder if Mason would have changed for the baby.
Shutting my bike off as I pull into my driveway, I just sit on it, staring. I have only been back to this house a handful of times. Shit hasn’t been the same since Hilary left me. I left the club tonight after Angel confirmed Hilary was back. At first, I thought she’d come to the house, considering it’s still half hers, but she said she would be staying with Lilly.
It pisses me off. A few weeks after she left, she tried sending me divorce papers. I sent them right back to her once I tracked down an address, with them shredded in an envelope along with her rings.
I climb off my bike and walk to the front door, unlocking it and swinging it open. The place is a dump. It hasn’t been cleaned since I trashed the place after Hilary left.
I walk around the place and find a photo I had forgotten all about, the picture of Hilary and I just after we first started dating.
“Hey guys,” I said, walking up to Jasper and Vinny when I got into the school.
“Hey,” Jasper said with a head lift.
“Have you seen Hilary yet, man?” Vinny asked.
“No, why?” Why would he ask me about her? I’d lived to make her miserable for years—she was always great to pick on.
“Uh, she got hot, dude,” Vinny said.
“Hilary? We talking about the same girl here?” Hilary was never that good to look at. She had big buck teeth for most of the years I knew her, and then she was metal mouth. Called her rat head for a few years too, since I don’t think she ever brushed her hair.
“Trust me, man. You’ll wanna see this,” Jasper said. “Her and her mom went away for the summer, and she came back last week. I was hanging out with Eden and Lilly and couldn’t fucking believe it was her.”
Vinny nudged my shoulder and pointed down the hall, where I saw his brother, Bryce, leaning in close to a girl—a fuckin’ hot girl at that.
“Uh, why am I checking out Bryce?” I asked, confused.
“Not him, her. That’s Hilary,” Jasper said.
“Holy fuck!” Her hair was a lot longer than I remembered. It lay over the top of her chest. Fuck, when did she get tits like those? I scratched my head, taking her all in. It was like she left a girl and came back a woman. Her jeans hugged her hips—hips I never noticed her having before. She had an hourglass figure. Before, she was flat as a board and skinny as a rail.
I clenched my fists.
“Uh, are you jealous?” Vinny asked me.
“No,” I answered while gritting my teeth as she laughed at Bryce and touched him on the arm.
He started laughing. “Yeah, you are. I always knew you wanted her, man, with all the bullying you put her through over the years. I knew it was because you were crushing hard on her.”
“Shut up.” It was true, though. I’d always liked her. It was why I razzed her so bad all the time.
Before I realized it, Hilary was sauntering over to our group with a huge grin on her face. But she didn’t stop- she looked right at me and winked and kept on walking.
I followed her with my eyes down the hall and into Mrs. Wheeler’s classroom.
The morning passed by extremely slow, and when the lunch bell rang, I was up and out of my seat. Walking into the cafeteria, I spotted the guys and Hilary sitting at our usual table.
As I walked over, I heard Hilary talking to them. “He gave me his number and said he’d pick me up tonight, something about a movie. It’s kinda cool—my first date.”
Oh, fuck no. I moved fast and pulled the chair out next to Hilary, and made her look at me by grabbing her by the shoulder and turning her toward me.
“Mason?” she said, sounding confused.
“You ain’t going on a fuckin’ date,” I told her, leaning in close.
“You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” she said while crossing her arms.
I grabbed the back of her head and crushed my lips down on hers. Pulling back, she looked dazed. “You’re mine. If I find out that you are making dates with someone else again, I’ll beat the shit out of them,” I told her, letting her go.
From that day on, she was mine. She fought it for the first week, but quickly gave in. We didn’t have sex until she turned sixteen, which led me to a case of the blue balls for two fuckin’ years. I started having sex at fourteen, and started dating Hilary at sixteen. Going from lots of sex to nothing fuckin’ sucked, but it was so worth it.
I knew Hilary wasn’t the kind of girl I could ever hurt. I’d done everything to have her, and fuck, when she gave her virginity to me, it was worth the torture I felt straining in my pants every time she kissed me.
I went to her dad after the kiss in the cafeteria and told him I wanted her. He looked at me then and nodded, saying ‘good’. That was it. Since then, it was always us- well, and the rest of the gang. It wasn’t often at that time that we were ever really alone.
Jasper always fought his feelings for Eden because she was so young. Vinny always said it was just friendship with Lilly, even though, when he looked at her, it was the same way Jasper looked at Eden.
Thankfully, I was pulled out of Jasper’s misery once Eden started high school.
Lilly left about an hour ago to help Eden set up for the barbeque while I’ve been chasing around after the kids, trying to get them ready.
“Okay, kids, come on. This is crazy. Settle down!” I shout.
Jessica giggles, and I hear Ethan scold her. I shake my head. “Come on. Let’s go, guys,” I call up the stairs to them.
They come down the stairs smiling. “Can we finally call our dad, Dad?” Ethan asks.
I sigh. “Your mom hasn’t told him yet, guys. We need to give her that chance, okay?”
Jessica looks sad. “It’s gonna be kinda hard for it to stay a secret once he looks at us standing with her. I don’t think he can be that stupid,” she says. I can’t believe Jasper didn’t see it when he gave me a tow when I first came back to town. I mean, Jessica has his face. I’m shocked Eden has me bringing them over today with him not knowing.
I giggle slightly. “Let’s get going, okay?” I have enough to worry about since Mason is supposed to be at this thing. If he sees me walk in with these kids, I don’t think it will be a fun time.
I’m so nervous, but I try not to let it show. The kids walk out of Eden’s house behind me as my eyes meet with Mason’s deep emerald pools. I throw my shoulders back and try not to show that seeing him affects me. I barely get a few steps out when he comes charging at me, demanding answers that aren’t mine to give. But it kills me not saying something. He has gone all these years thinking the worst of me, when all I ever did was love him. I look to Eden and see the pain etched on her face. I know this isn’t how she wanted shit to go down, but this is bigger than her feelings. The truth has to come out. Jasper deserves to be a father, and Mason needs to know the truth so he can be set free of our past. It’s time for us all to move on and face whatever changes the truth brings our way. Whatever happens, I know and Eden knows that it’s time.
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��They aren’t even mine,” I shout out louder than I intended, but the words pour out of me, and it feels so good to speak the truth to someone, even if it is Mason. I feel like a lifetime of burden has been lifted from my shoulders, but at the same time, my heart is breaking for Eden. The look on Jasper’s face right now says it all. He’s so done with her.
When I hear the words come out of Hilary’s mouth that she’s not even the twins’ mother, it shocks the shit out of me. And the minute Eden speaks up and says they are hers, I feel Angel’s pain.
She kept his fuckin’ kids from him for all these years. Seeing Hilary again after nine years has brought back everything—the good, the great, and the bad- all these feelings I don’t want to have about her. She’s still so fuckin’ beautiful.
I look at Hilary, and she has tears streaming down her face as she watches Angel go to his kids. I go to move toward her, and she whips her head back to me. “Don’t,” she grits out. “You couldn’t just leave it alone, could you? She wanted to tell him, in her time, not have it blurted out like that. So fuck you, dickhead.”
She moves to go toward Eden, but I grab her by the arm, hauling her to me. “It’s not my fuckin’ fault. A little heads up would have been nice, because I never would have wanted him to find out this way,” I growl into her ear.
“Fuck you, Mason. Let me go.” She jerks at my hold.
“No. I think we should have that talk, the one we should have had years ago. Let you explain shit to me.”
Her body stiffens. “Too late,” she spits out. I release her arm, not because I want to, but because of past mistakes. I just don’t want to become that person again.
I watch her stalk off toward Eden and Lilly. Angel is embracing his kids, so I decide to take off and so does Vinny.
“Too much drama in there for my liking,” Zippo tells me as we head to our bikes.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Where you off to?” he asks.
I shrug. “Just a ride. Right now, I need it.”
Seeing Hilary again, face to face, has me feeling all sorts of shit. At first, I wanted to fuck her against the house, but then when I saw those kids, I started spouting off…
How can that bitch have me so twisted?
Now that the kids are living with Eden, I feel lonely. I used to complain sometimes about never having time for myself between work and the kids, but I miss them. I spent so much time, so many years with them—this sucks.
Phil, the one and only lawyer in town, isn’t too happy that I’m giving him competition—old bastard needs someone to rattle him a bit. I’d be happy to be able to do so, but in the end, I decided against it. We don’t get much in this town; plus, I was offered a partnership so the place will be turned over to me once he passed away.
Slamming my car door shut, I adjust my purse on my shoulder and walk into Phil’s office with my head held high.
“What do you want now?” I hear Phil say, exasperated. Probably thinking I’m going to give him more of a hard time, yanking his chain about opening my own office.
I smirk. “I can’t do this myself, you old bat,” I say, grinning while handing him my folder.
He looks it over, and his face pales. “Divorce papers?”
I nod. “Yup. I have them all drawn up myself, but I can’t serve them myself. I need a lawyer that isn’t me. Duh. That’s where you come in.”
“Okay, let’s have a seat. Let me go over these.” I follow him into his little office and take a seat. He takes his good old time reading them over, but before he grabs his pen to sign off, he leans back in his chair. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Damn straight. He should have signed the first set of papers. He’s lucky I don’t site unfaithfulness on the damn thing and take him for everything he’s got. I just want him gone,” I tell him.
He sighs. “Okay. If he doesn’t sign these within the next month or so, I’ll get the ball rolling for a court date.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Phil,” I say, getting up out of my seat and walking out of the building.
I know right now I should feel relief. I’ll finally be free of Mason, so why do I feel like complete and total shit?
I still love him. Who doesn’t still love their first love? It just can’t be helped. But are we right for each other? I don’t know.
At least I have Lilly and her shit with Vinny to keep me in check and remind me of how men just fuck everything up. Can’t believe the asshole knocked her up and dumped her. What a loser he turned out to be.
Told Lilly fuck it; she doesn’t need him anymore than I needed Mason. We can do this shit ourselves. Look how good the twins turned out in my care. I can help Lilly just as I did Eden.
I hear the doorbell go as I’m trying to decide if I should order out or cook something. I slam the cupboard shut and move to the door. Looking out through the glass by the door, I see it’s Phil.
I open it and look at him, confused. “What are you doing here?”
“Mason, sorry to do this, but you’ve been served,” he says, passing me an envelope. He gives me a look of pity before taking off down the front steps and to his car. That’s the fastest I have ever seen that old fucker move.
What the fuck? Not this shit again.
I slam my door shut and go to the living room while tearing open the envelope, and I pull out the papers inside.
Divorce papers, again. Fuckin’ hell. She’s fuckin’ whacko if she thinks I’m signing this shit. We have unfinished business. No way in hell is she ending us without talking to me. We have lost a lot of fuckin’ time, and I’ll be damned if we lose anymore. Hilary isn’t getting’ rid of me. She will be mine again. Don’t care what I have to do to make her see that we belong together.
I end up on my bike and go everywhere I think she would go- Eden’s, Lilly’s, her mom’s, even her work. But everywhere I show up, she’s not there. I don’t know how the fuck she’s perfected Eden’s Houdini act, but I’m getting pissed.
Three days later, I finally catch her leaving work and maintain a safe distance behind her so she doesn’t think someone is following her. She parks her car and walks into a shitty as fuck motel. I park the bike on the street and rush in behind her. Noticing she’s on the main floor, I don’t bother trying to pay someone to fake getting me in the elevator to see what floor she’s going to so I can meet her there. I follow silently behind her. Once she starts to insert her key, I move in on her.
I go to my motel door and insert the key. I figured since Mason got the papers he wouldn’t find me if I wasn’t at Lilly’s. Before I’m able to shut the door behind me, I feel him standing behind me.
“Hilary,” he growls.
I turn around and gulp. “How did you know I was here?” I ask.
“Followed you from work,” he says, clenching his jaw and stalking toward me. “We’re getting one thing straight. I won’t sign those papers.”
He grabs me by the back of my head, bringing his lips down against mine, crushing our mouths together. Damn him. His mouth feels so good, familiar, like home. I should push him away and make him stop, but I can’t. My body seems to have taken over and is ignoring the screams inside my head that are saying this is a very bad idea. I continue walking backwards as he shoves his tongue into my mouth. I nearly fall apart at all of the sensations and feelings bursting through my veins. I feel like I’m high on him as he begins to tear at my clothes. He rips my shirt open, popping all of the buttons off. His beard grazes over my exposed nipples. My skirt is shoved up over my hips as my ass hangs over the edge of the desk in the entryway of my room. His fingers find my pussy, and I start to lose any rational thinking that I may have had left. I don’t even recall him taking my panties off. Fuck, I can’t even remember if I was wearing any. My fingers are threaded through his dark hair, tugging the strands hard as his fingers push me over the brink of pleasure and insanity.
“Your pussy was made for me,” he grunts as he replaces his fingers with his dick and starts pounding in
to me. My head knocks against the painting on the wall. He feels too damn good. My ankles are latched around his thighs, with my heels digging into his jeans that are dropped just low enough for him to fuck me. He thrusts harder and deeper with every stroke. His teeth sink down on my shoulder as he comes deep inside my walls.
Coming down from my high, I realize what I’ve just done. “You need to leave. This changes nothing,” I say, shoving him away from me.
His eyes narrow. “My cum is leaking outta you. I’m not leaving.” He takes his fingers and shoves his cum back inside me as it tries to run down my leg. “Your pussy belongs to me. My cum is going to stay inside you. Going to fill you with it every fuckin’ day. Get used to that feeling, because I’m not going anywhere. We are going to work this shit out,” he tells me, his nose touching mine. “How many men have been inside this pussy, Hilary?” he asks, still working his cum inside me.
“Only you,” I moan, his fingers bringing me back to a high.
“I want to believe you, but I’m not sure I do,” he tells me. “But I’ll get over it. Gonna make love to you daily, as many times a day as I can.”
That snaps me out of my high. “It was a fuck, nothing more. I’m still going forward with the divorce,” I say, sneering at him. His fingers leave me, and I step away
“Think what you want, but it isn’t gonna happen. I’ll give you some time, time to come to terms with the fact that we’re gonna really make this marriage work. Then I’ll be back,” he says, buckling up his pants. He digs around in his pocket for a minute. What in the hell is he doing? Coming back to me, he grabs my left hand gruffly and says, “This here belongs where I fuckin’ put it years ago. Get used to the weight of that diamond on your finger again, because this time, that ring ain’t comin’ off.” He smiles all proud like and walks out of the room. I look down at my wedding ring, the same ring I ended up shipping right back to him when he sent it to me in the confetti mess. Tears pool, threatening to spill over.
