He growled out a frustrated noise, tugging on his hair. Then he dropped his arms and came to stand in front of me, his hands clasping my upper arms. “Baby, listen to me.” His voice was soothing now, beseeching, the hard edges he’d spoken with only moments ago softened. He bent his knees to bring us to eye level, and I saw everything he was feeling as I met his gaze—determination, fear, anxiety, and underneath it all, a bubbling undercurrent of anger. “If you go, he’ll kill you. He will kill you and he won’t think twice about it. He won’t see you as enough of a threat. He just won’t. He’s already tried to have you killed twice, and you’ve managed to get away both times. But I’m not taking the chance of it happening on the third try. I’m not going to lose you again. I can’t.” Then his once-soothing voice turned hard. “You’re not going. Period.”
That feeling of helplessness was back, clawing at me … weighing me down. Because I knew that no matter how hard I fought for this, how much I resisted, how much I argued, the truth was that if Riley didn’t want me going with him, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to force him. I couldn’t strap myself on the back of the bike. Probably wouldn’t even be able to get out of the apartment with Gage no doubt blocking my way. And that thought just sank the dread further into my chest, magnifying every ounce of hopelessness I felt until it was engulfing me.
Despite what I’d come to feel for Riley again after these few days together—despite what I’d felt for him all along—I wouldn’t, couldn’t allow myself to lose control again. Not when I’d finally gained back every bit of myself.
Riley’s face had softened in the long moments when I hadn’t said anything after his little speech. When he spoke to me now, his voice was more relaxed, like he thought he’d convinced me.
And he had. He’d convinced me. Just not the way he’d wanted.
“You’ve dealt with too much in your life, Evie. You’ve had two assholes take everything from you. Everything. I can’t let that continue. I won’t.”
With my voice steady and calm, I said, “If you refuse to let me make the choice of whether or not I want to be there with you, we’re done. Whatever we had here, whatever sparked between us again, is gone.” I ignored the flare of anger in his eyes, that spark of hurt, because my heart was breaking wide open. It was like he hadn’t heard anything I’d told him over the last few days. “I can’t be with someone who takes my choices away from me. This isn’t your fight, Riley. This is mine. I’m the one Max is after. I’m the one who has what he wants.”
Riley stared at me, his eyes flitting between both of mine, darting all over my face, and I didn’t know if he read the truth in my statement or not. I didn’t know if he thought I wasn’t being serious, if I was bluffing. Or if he just didn’t care.
“And I’m the one who’s going to make sure you’re safe,” he said.
I looked into his eyes, bottomless and clear, and I hated that this was what it was coming down to. That after everything, it was coming down to him keeping a choice from me, stealing any ounce of freewill from me. Just like everyone else.
“I was never yours to save.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I watched from the window as Riley tore out of the alley on his bike, Gage at my back. Riley and I hadn’t spoken two words to each other after our blowup. After I told him if he took this choice away from me, we were through.
And he’d gone anyway.
I tried not to focus on the ache that filled up my chest when he’d left, when he’d voluntarily walked away, only after binding my hands. Not literally—not like before—but figuratively. And that was almost worse. I latched on to the anger and frustration I was feeling instead, letting that grow inside me. Letting it fuel me, because if I didn’t, if I didn’t have something else to hang on to, I’d crumble.
“You got your stuff packed up?” Gage asked.
I turned and looked at him over my shoulder. What stuff? I wanted to ask. I had nothing here, not really. Tipping my chin toward the single bag on the couch, I turned back around and stared out the window into the darkening sky. Riley would get to Chicago around three in the morning. And as soon as he got the go-ahead from Aaron, he’d be on Max.
And I’d be here, hundreds of miles away, while Riley fought my battles for me. While Riley risked his life for something that was never his problem in the first place.
Gage walked over to the couch and grabbed the bag. “Come on. Let’s move.”
Twisting around, I asked, “Where are we going?”
“My place. I don’t like leaving Madison alone. Not with this shit going on.”
That overprotective bullshit ran in the family, it seemed. Giving a tight nod, I followed him, my movements stilted as we descended the stairs, not taking a backward glance at the loft. At the place where I’d shed so much of my past baggage. Where I’d both found and lost the one and only man I’d ever loved.
Gage was on high alert as he opened the door that led into the alley, his eyes darting to every dark corner, making sure it was clear. He gave a short nod, indicating it was okay, and I dutifully followed him out. It seemed like that was all I ever did—take orders.
Once we were settled in Gage’s car, a beat-up old Honda, he drove us toward his and Madison’s place, his body tense. Probably anxious to get back to Madison.
After long moments of silence, he finally said, “It’s better this way.”
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms as I turned my head to look out the window. Because yeah, I’d be safe here, locked away. Protected. But if I wasn’t ever given the opportunity to fight for myself, how would I know if I could? I’d run scared twice before, not just from Max but also from my father. I’d stayed away, hadn’t thought twice about ever going back to my old life, because I needed to leave all that shit behind. Just forget it like it’d never happened.
Except no matter how far I ran, I couldn’t escape. It was melded to my very soul, and there was no running from the skeletons in my closet.
And now, after everything I’d done, after all the steps I’d taken, I wanted the chance to do this. To finally take a step to seize that control once and for all. To prove I wasn’t scared anymore.
“He cares about you. Loves you. He just wants to keep you safe.”
I turned to Gage then, looked at the strong outline of his jaw covered in stubble, the slope of his nose, those eyelashes that went on for miles. He looked so much like Riley, I ached. Ached for the man I loved. The man who’d voluntarily walked right out of my life. “I want to be able to keep myself safe.”
“Then you’re dumber than I ever thought you were.”
“Fuck off, Gage.”
“No, you’ve got nowhere to go now but to sit here and listen to me. You’ve always been a smart girl, Evie. You’ve always used your head, and you were good when you were with the crew. I don’t know if being away from it for so long has fucked with your memories of it, but this meeting with Max isn’t going to happen over fucking cookies and tea. He has no qualms about taking lives, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a woman. He doesn’t give a shit. He has no honor, no morals. He’s not doing this for a greater purpose. He’s not secretly a good guy caught up in a bad situation. He’s bad to the core. That’s how he’s held control of the crew for so long. And he won’t think twice, won’t even blink, before killing you.”
“I’m not stupid,” I snapped. “I know exactly what he’d do. I know what this meeting will entail. Which is exactly why I wanted to go. Riley doesn’t deserve this. He did nothing, had no hand in any of this, except to get me away after you called him. Why should he suffer for my mistakes? And what makes him my keeper? The person who tells me what kind of decisions I can or can’t make about my life?”
Gage blew out a deep breath. “Look, I get that you’re pissed. But cut him some slack. In the past week, he found out that everything he’s done in the past five years, the whole reason he really got involved in the crew, wasn’t reality. That every job he took … it was all for noth
ing. Not only that, but he found out that the very guy he worked for was the one who ripped you away from him. He’s owed his vengeance.”
“And I’m not? I was the one hiding away for five years, Gage. Me.”
“I know that. I’m not saying otherwise. And I get that you’re angry he didn’t want you with him. I get why you’d want to go, I do, but I also get where he’s coming from. I agreed not to tell him you were alive, and it ate at me for years. I wanted to protect him and respect your choice, but it killed me to watch my kid brother suffer for years, grieving for you. Especially when I knew the whole time you weren’t dead. Now that he knows the truth, we need to give him this. He doesn’t want to lose you again, Evie.”
Gage’s voice was gruff, his focus on the road, and I knew how much this was costing him to talk about. Gage didn’t do feelings. He didn’t do talking, either, not really. And I got what he was saying. I did. I just wished he could get what I was saying. It wasn’t like I’d planned to walk into Max’s place by myself. I had no illusion of the outcome of something like that. What I’d wanted, what I’d counted on, was doing it with Riley. I’d wanted to be by his side. This was my fight, but I’d wanted us to face it together as a team.
* * *
The apartment was dark when we arrived. Gage had called Madison on the way over, making sure everything was okay. She’d confirmed it had been quiet there, so he didn’t hesitate as he walked in ahead of me, flipping on a light before tossing my bag on the couch and his keys on the tiny circle of a dining table.
“You can crash out here tonight.” He gestured with his head toward the already made-up sofa. “I’ll keep you in the loop, let you know when I hear from him. I don’t expect anything for a couple hours, so you might want to try and get some sleep.”
I gave a distracted nod as he mumbled something about going down the hallway to check on Madison, but all I could focus on was that set of keys he’d tossed without a second thought. Gage’s car was a stick shift, something I’d never driven, but I bet I could figure it out pretty damn fast if I had to.
If I was running.
I listened as the door down the hall opened, then came the muffled voice of Madison before the soft snick of the door closing behind Gage.
My heart was pounding a staccato rhythm in my chest, my lips thrumming along at the same erratic beat. I crept over so I could peek down the hallway to make sure their bedroom door was still closed, the soft carpet masking the sounds of my footfalls. Seeing nothing but darkness down the hall, I glanced again at the small ring of keys and swallowed. I had to make this decision now, without consideration. Because I knew every second I wasted contemplating whether or not I should do it was a second I’d never get back. And Gage could waltz back out here any minute, snatching the opportunity right from under me.
I took a quick look at the clock on the microwave, seeing that Riley had taken off less than thirty minutes ago. If I left right now, I still had the possibility of catching him. Of confronting Max with him. Of claiming back all those years that had been stolen from me.
Without thinking another second on it, I tiptoed over to the table, gripping my purse before snatching his keys. The dead bolt was silent as I unlocked it, the door barely a whisper as I pulled it open. And then before I could look back, before I could think twice, I was gone.
Not knowing how much lead time I’d have before Gage figured out I was gone, I ran down the stairs, through the entryway, and out the front door, into the dark night. The moon was full but partially covered by passing clouds, just like the setting of a hundred different horror movies. I swallowed my nerves as I rushed to where Gage had parked the car, looking behind me toward the front of the apartment building to make sure he wasn’t on my heels.
I was so preoccupied worrying about Gage coming after me that I didn’t consider who else might be outside waiting, didn’t bother checking my surroundings for other threats.
The sound of footsteps directly behind me startled me, but it was too late to even turn around. “Gotcha now, bitch.”
A rough hand covered my mouth as an arm held me back against a chest, then there was a tiny prick on the side of my neck.
And those three words were the last I heard before everything went dark.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
RILEY
My head had swum with Evie’s words the entirety of the ride back to Chicago. Over every mile that had passed under my tires, I’d remembered the look on her face when I’d told her she wasn’t going with me. Her eyes had sparked, her lips thinning into a straight line. In that moment, she’d absolutely loathed me. That look of anger was the last thing I’d seen before I left.
And if she’d been telling the truth, if those last words she’d said to me had been honest—and I had no doubt she’d meant them—then it was going to be the last look I’d ever see on her beautiful face.
It gutted me, ripped me apart inside—the thought that I might never have her in my life again. But so long as she was safe, it didn’t matter. Not my feelings. Not hers.
I knew she thought I hadn’t heard her, hadn’t listened, but I had. I’d heard what she was saying, knew how much it would cost her to give in on this, but in the end, it hadn’t mattered. I couldn’t let it, because it wasn’t just her feelings that were at stake. It was her life. And I didn’t care that I was keeping this choice from her if it meant she’d be alive.
Even if that life wasn’t with me.
My phone had buzzed in my pocket more times than I could count while I’d been riding, but I hadn’t pulled over. Hadn’t even taken the thirty seconds to check it when I’d stopped to fill up, too focused on getting back on the road as quickly as fucking possible. I was anxious, uneasy, and I wanted to get this over with now.
While I’d been driving here, Gage had been dealing with all the back-end stuff—setting shit up with Aaron and making sure we had the fail-safes in place, if the unthinkable happened … if I didn’t come out of there alive. If they sent someone after Evie.
I wasn’t going to let it come to that, though. I needed to convince Max that he didn’t have any other options than to call off all the guys he’d sent after her. And once I got that confirmation, heard it from his mouth, I’d call Gage and give him the go-ahead to give Evie back her freedom.
I had no idea what she intended to do when this was all over. I didn’t know if she planned to go back to Eric, planned to go back to being Genevieve, and I couldn’t think about it. The thought of her falling right back into her false life ripped my fucking heart apart. Thinking about her doing it despite everything that had happened in the days we’d been together. Despite everything that had happened between us …
I couldn’t focus on that shit now. Couldn’t bog my mind down with what-ifs and possibilities for the future. I needed to focus on the here and now, get my head in the game if we had a chance of pulling this off.
Needing to call Aaron to get a read on when he’d be ready for me, I pulled into a deserted parking lot close to my neighborhood. He was taking a major risk, staying behind and acting as Max’s right hand during the confrontation, but I knew that if anything went bad, he’d have my back.
I hoped he would, anyway.
Slipping my phone from my front pocket, I pressed the button at the top, illuminating the screen. Fourteen missed calls, all from Gage. I reached up and scratched my jaw, my brow furrowed. What the hell was going on? My mind immediately conjured up every possible situation. Had he spotted other guys in town already? Did something happen on Aaron’s end to make it so he couldn’t be there tonight? Even if that were the case, it wouldn’t stop me … not when I was this close. Not when it was Evie’s life on the line.
I thumbed my way to his number, then hit Send and waited as it rang. When his voice mail picked up, I blew out a long breath, then hung up and tried Aaron’s number. Once again, I waited as the phone rang, and then was subjected to the same generic recording. I hung up and cursed under my breath. Knowing Gage would
get a text faster than listening to a voice mail, I opened up the screen to send him a message.
Status?
The minutes I stood there waiting for a response were the longest of my life. I tried Aaron once more, to no avail. I’d just thumbed my way to the screen to call Gage again when a text came through from him.
Plans changed. Move now. Get your ass to Max.
My heart stopped, my blood running cold. Gage never switched the plans unless something fucked up was going down.
I tried calling him one last time only to have his goddamn voice mail pick up again. If he was able to text but not pick up his phone, I assumed that meant he was on a call with someone … I just didn’t know who.
I could barely bring myself to type the four little letters, but I needed to know.
Evie?
His response was immediate. Now, Riley. MOVE NOW.
“Jesus Christ,” I breathed, and started the ignition on my bike before I pocketed my phone and revved the engine, then took off. My instincts had been right, knowing now something was wrong. Gage hadn’t answered the question on Evie, and I couldn’t think about what that meant.
I sped toward the old warehouse on the South Side where Max did all of his business, figuring it was my best bet. I was supposed to have gotten confirmation from Aaron on where Max was stationed, but with nothing from him to go on and only a few urgent texts from Gage, I had to wing it.
It seemed like forever before I pulled up outside the dark building. There was only one other car here that I could see—Max’s—and I took a quick survey of the surroundings when I dismounted my bike. Pulling out my phone, I typed out a short text to both Gage and Aaron, letting them know I’d arrived and I was going in. I only hoped Aaron would get the message in time.
The perimeter was clear, no one keeping guard, which meant the time was right. Everyone had cleared out, just like we’d planned. Normally, Max would have two guys posted at each door for security. You didn’t do his line of work without having some protection. He didn’t allow just anyone to walk into his place.
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