“Alexa,” he called out.
Her steps faltered, surprised that he had acknowledged her. They hadn’t spoken a word since sixth grade.
The loud, tromping footsteps of the pack of young men made her feel uneasy. The halls were deserted. Only Mrs. Page, the librarian, was still there. She cast a quick glance at the closed library door.
Ben wouldn’t hurt or embarrass her, would he? Of course not.
“Hey,” she said, striving to sound casual.
Ben chuckled at something one of his buddies said, and directed his attention back to her. His jaw worked, chewing gum. “You going to the Homecoming Dance?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.” Why was he asking her? Her gaze flickered from him to his husky cronies. Their expressions ranged from disinterest to bold appraisal. Alexa clutched her book bag tighter to her stomach.
Ben popped his gum. “So. You wanna go?”
“With you?” Alexa’s brows shot up.
“Yeah, with me.” Ben grinned at his buddies, chomping louder on his gum. “Who else?”
He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t possibly. In fact, was this some sort of a joke to him? His smile looked goofy, and his face was slack now as he waited for her response. Was this a joke to him? Did he intend to make fun of her if she—the school brainiac—said ‘yes’ to the golden boy jock? Hurt twisted. At least it was a spur of the moment joke. He hadn’t deliberately set out to hurt her, because this meeting in the hall couldn’t have been planned. Not that it mattered.
“Thanks. But no.”
An odd expression registered, quickly covered by a hearty, “Why not, Red? Got a better offer?”
Alexa flushed. Of course she hadn’t. He had to know that. She was too quiet and shy for boys to bother with. “I’m not in the mood for jokes, Ben.”
He flushed, and shrugged his shoulders. “Suit yourself. Come on, guys.”
The boys sneered as they passed, and a few uncomplimentary remarks burned Alexa’s ears. Tears swam in her eyes. She felt small, like a worm squished beneath their monstrous, cleated shoes. And then she had gone home and hidden in her room while her parents screamed at each other and threw breakables against the walls. And then her mother had shrieked in pain.
Both Alexa and Beth flew to peek out the door.
Her burly father bent over her mother, who lay sprawled on the floor. “Anne. Anne!” he cried out, shaking her.
Beth slipped out and Alexa followed close behind.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered.
Her father looked up. Tears streamed down his cheeks. “She’s hurt. I didn’t mean for the vase to hit her.”
Her mother stirred, and Alexa’s father carefully carried her to the couch. That night was the beginning of the end. The next day, her parents had finally separated.
Now Alexa pressed her forehead to the glass, wondering why those memories had surfaced now. She hadn’t thought about Ben in ages. He had never spoken to her after the homecoming invitation, which had been fine with her, for she had taken great pains to avoid him. The whole episode had left her feeling confused and hurt. It was only now, looking back from a detached perspective, that she finally recognized the odd expression that had crossed Ben’s face when she had rejected him. It had been hurt.
Like a kaleidoscope, the events of that day shifted. Had he truly meant his invitation to the dance? Why had she assumed he had wanted to make fun of her—that it had been a joke? A deeper insight came. Or had she jumped to that conclusion in order to push him away, for fear of getting hurt?
She had pushed Ben away then, just like she pushed Jamison away now.
She had been wrong about Ben. How many other men had she rejected? Three or more, perhaps. Particularly, she realized now, strong, physically self-assured men. Men like her father. Until she had met quiet, calm Paul. The man who had broken her heart. After him, she had allowed no one to get close at all.
Tears blurred her eyes. What’s wrong with me, Lord? Please help me.
That night, after a long day of writing and an early dinner, Alexa desperately wanted to get out. She felt stifled and wanted to break free. Here she was, visiting all of these fabulous countries, but she spent most of her time cooped up in her room, working.
Jamison paced the living area. “Want to see the Magic Fountain?” he asked abruptly.
She turned to him with a smile of relief. “Would I ever. I’d forgotten all about it.” Alexa grabbed a jacket from her room and followed him out the door. It was still light out, but the sun dipped closer to the horizon.
The streets of Barcelona bustled. It was a Friday night, after all.
They made it to Montjuïc just before eight o’clock and joined the crowds gathered around the fountain. Opera music played. Alexa gasped when yellow and red water shot several stories high. The water soared up in varying formations, in yellows and whites and blues and reds…it was stunning. Majestic.
“I love it!” she whispered. She would never forget this moment.
“Want to see another one? It’ll have different music,” Jamison told her.
“Sure,” she agreed, and waited in the gathering dusk for the next show at 8:30 p.m.—this time to classical music. When the water finally died down, she reluctantly stepped back. “Let’s go down to the harbor again,” she suggested. Seeing the fountain show had pulled her heart toward the restless sea. “Then I’d like to window-shop.”
After descending to the Plaça d’Espanya, Jamison hailed a cab with its green light glowing on top, indicating it was available, and they arrived at the waterfront in short order. It was fully dark now, but thankfully the breeze didn’t feel quite as arctic as last night. Alexa buttoned her jacket and followed Jamison to the walkway bordering the water. She wondered why she had felt drawn to come here.
It was quiet and peaceful. Restful to her soul. Maybe that was why.
Alexa gazed out at the wrinkled, undulating water, and then further out to sea. “Wouldn’t it be cool to take a ship and just go over the horizon... To see what’s there. Explore new lands.”
“You want to discover a new continent, princess?”
“Don’t be silly.” She lightly punched his well-muscled arm. “I just mean it would be neat to travel and see all kinds of new places.”
“Like we’re doing now.”
“Yes. But without the work. I mean, I’m happy to write the book, but I wish I could spend more time exploring the places we’re visiting.”
“You’ll have to come back later.”
“I’d like to. Maybe I will. But I’ll need to save up a lot of money, first.”
“Maybe your future husband will bring you here on your honeymoon.”
Alexa laughed, feeling a bit uncomfortable. “He’d have to be rich.”
“Or know people here.”
“That’s not likely.” Depression slivered through her soul.
A moment elapsed. Jamison said, “You and Colin are getting closer.”
“I guess so. He’s not at all what I had expected.”
“What do you mean?”
Alexa hesitated, trying to find the right words. “He’s genuine, and I like that. But he’s also lonely, and I think he’s hurting, too.”
“You feel sorry for him?”
“No. I want him to be happy. He’s a great guy, and he deserves it.”
“Most people don’t see beyond the fame and the charm.”
“I feel honored, because he’s opened up and been honest with me. It makes me feel responsible.”
“For what?”
“Being careful not to hurt him. You know, with the book—or in any other way.”
“I can’t see you hurting him on purpose.”
“No. Never,” Alexa agreed.
She felt Jamison’s gaze on her. “He’s taken with you,” he said abruptly.
“I know… But so far we’re just friends.”
“Why?”
Alexa searched her
heart. Why was she dragging her feet with Colin?
Jamison’s broad shoulders shifted. “He hasn’t made a move on you, has he?”
“Not exactly.” Alexa remembered the time he had almost kissed her. “I told him before I signed on that I wasn’t interested in a fling.”
“You did.”
“Yes. I’m very careful…about relationships.”
“I’ve noticed. Have you been hurt?”
“Who hasn’t?” Alexa shrugged, in an effort to make light of it. She added, “I think I’m a little confused. That’s the problem.”
“Confused about what?”
Alexa looked at him, at the breeze rifling his wavy hair and the serious expression on his face. He listened to her intently, as if what she said was important to him. She realized then that they were having another real conversation; just like that night in Paris. The dark seemed to lower her guard to him. But how could she tell Jamison that he was the source of her confusion? Especially when she could barely admit it to herself.
“I want to be careful,” she said at last. “I don’t want to make any mistakes.”
“To make a mistake, first you have to get your feet wet.”
Alexa laughed. “I hope not in this water! It looks awfully cold.”
Jamison said quietly, “Sometimes you have to take a chance, Alexa, to see if something is there.”
She looked out to sea. “You mean like a shark?”
Jamison exhaled. “You’re good at the jokes when things get too personal.”
She smiled. “It’s my wall. A good one, don’t you think? I get to make people laugh, too.”
“Walk with me.” He held out his hand.
Alexa stared. “You want me to hold your hand?”
“Yes.”
Her heart beat faster. “Why?”
“To prove a point.”
“What point?” She felt wary.
“That I don’t bite. And your world won’t crash if you hold my hand for longer than a second.”
“I’d rather pass on that experiment, thank you.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s silly. I don’t need to prove anything to you. Plus,” she said primly, “it’s inappropriate.”
“You’re scared.”
“Of what?” she scoffed.
“Me.”
“I most certainly am not!”
“One block,” he said. “I dare you.” A smile gleamed through the dim light.
Unfortunately, Alexa had a bad track record with dares. She knew this. All the ones she had taken had ended in disaster.
“Fine,” she said. “One block.”
She slipped her hand into his warm one, and his fingers closed around hers, strong and secure. His palm felt a little rough with calluses—probably from lifting weights—but it was a pleasant sensation. In fact, the whole experience felt entirely too pleasant. A warm, electric tingle sizzled up her arm and fizzed along the nerves throughout her body. At the same time, she felt a strange peace walking with him like this. And safety.
“Look.” Jamison stopped in front of a shop window. Inside, a miniature train chugged around the track of snow covered mountains. Tiny white and silver snowflakes billowed in the air, pushed airborne by invisible gusts of wind.
“Cool.” Alexa smiled at him. “Timmy would love it.”
His fingers tightened around hers, and then he led her on.
Alexa was content to gaze in the store windows. Most shops were closed, which was no surprise. But maybe she would come back tomorrow if she saw something especially wonderful.
They had reached the end of the block, but Jamison made no move to release her hand. He must have forgotten he was holding it. Alexa didn’t attempt to pull free, either, as they started the second block. Glittering jewels sparkled in one window, and she paused to look. Diamond engagement rings, jewel encrusted necklaces, and outrageously huge diamond drop earrings were displayed.
“What do you like?” Jamison asked.
Alexa was embarrassed to be caught staring at the costly baubles. “I’m not much of a jewelry girl. But the rings are pretty. They’re classic and simple. The others are too gaudy for me.”
“If you could have any of them, which would it be?”
Alexa laughed. “Now you’re being silly.”
“You’re the one with romance in your soul. Pick one.”
“Well,” Alexa bit her lip, scanning the display. “I like the princess cut diamond. I’ve always thought it’s beautiful.”
“Fitting.” Jamison’s mouth curved, and he tugged her on. They reached the corner and crossed when it was safe.
Alexa spied a chocolate shop—unfortunately closed—and gazed in the window. Reluctantly, she turned away.
Jamison said, “Shall we go another two blocks?”
Alexa looked down at their interlinked hands, and then to Jamison’s face. He watched her intently.
Slowly, she said, “Are you putting a move on me, Jamison?”
He smiled a little, and released her hand. “Can’t have that, can we?”
“No,” she mumbled, not certain at all that that was true. She missed the warmth of his hand. It was cold out, she reasoned, and stuffed them in her pockets. But she continued to enjoy walking with Jamison and gazing in the shop windows.
“Look at this.” Alexa stopped before a toy store. “Annie would love that baby doll. Or maybe that tea set.”
“You still have room in your suitcase?”
“It is getting full,” she admitted with a sigh. “Let’s come here tomorrow. Maybe I can find something smaller.”
“It’s a date,” he told her.
She glanced at him uncertainly, but could read nothing in his gaze. She smiled, then. “If you call these outings dates, then we’re going on a lot more dates than Colin and I are.”
“And the jokes start again.”
Softly, she said, “You know what you’re getting into with me.”
“I do, princess.” His dark gaze held hers, warming her insides. “I sure do.”
“Can we go back now? I’m cold.” Actually, she felt too warm and jumpy inside.
“Walk, or cab?”
“Cab.”
Jamison hailed one of the black cabs with bright yellow doors, and she sat beside him in silence. She was very aware of his presence the entire way back, and up into their flat.
“Thank you,” she said. “I had a wonderful time.”
“I did, too.” His gaze flickered briefly to her mouth. “Good night.”
“Good night.” Quickly, she entered the sanctuary of her room. What in the world had gone on tonight?
She sank onto the bed. He had dared her to hold his hand, and had held it for two blocks. Had he actually decided to lower his guard to her—at least a little? Had Jamison truly made a move on her?
No. He couldn’t possibly have feelings for her. Just like Alexa did not have feelings for him. As her bodyguard, he simply made her feel safe and protected. That was all. She couldn’t possibly be developing real feelings for Jamison.
What had her sister said? People fell in love with their bodyguards all of the time. Even a movie had been made about it. No. It was trite and ridiculous. Alexa was spending too much time with him. That was the trouble. Their forced togetherness faked the feeling of true intimacy.
Chapter Twelve
Early the next morning, Alexa wanted to call Beth. But when she tried, her sister wasn’t home. What would Alexa say, anyway? “Things are getting stickier with my bodyguard”? Beth already found the situation hilarious enough as it was. She might latch onto the wrong idea about Alexa’s feelings for Jamison. That would not do at all.
Alexa finished with the last of the scrapbooks. Now she could do no more until her breakfast with Colin tomorrow morning. Maybe she should grab a quick lunch before going shopping with Jamison. Ridiculously, her heart fluttered at the thought of spending more time with him today. She needed to get a grip.
She hurri
ed out to the kitchen and discovered that Jamison had just made an omelette. Cheese melted over it, and she smelled peppers and onions.
“Yum.” She noticed red pepper slivers and onion scraps on the cutting board. “Are you going to eat those?”
“You want an omelette?”
“It smells delicious.”
“Have you ever made one before?” Jamison raised an eyebrow.
“I can scramble eggs,” Alexa said with pride. “How much harder can an omelette be?”
Jamison pulled half a pepper and an onion from the refrigerator. “I’ll make it.”
“I can.”
“You grate the cheese.” He pulled a wicked looking knife from the sink and chopped the vegetables.
“I could do that,” she informed him, and nicked her finger on the grater. “Ow!” She sucked it, and then examined the wound. Only a tiny smidge of blood.
“You’re not touching this knife, princess.”
Alexa frowned, but put her full concentration into completing her task. “There,” she announced. Jamison had already set the vegetables to sizzling in the pan. “What are you doing?” she wanted to know. “Where are the eggs?”
“I cook the vegetables first, to make them tender.”
She did not care for his amused look. “I like my vegetables cold and hard,” she told him. “Just like you.”
His eyebrows winged upward.
“I mean,” she said, blushing, “just like your cold, hard heart.”
“Your mouth’s going to get you in trouble one of these days.”
“Trouble makes life exciting,” she asserted, and stood at his shoulder, watching him cook. He slid the cooked vegetables onto a plate, whisked the eggs, and then added them to the pan. When the eggs were almost done, he added the vegetables and folded it in half. Then he added cheese, and when it had melted, slipped it onto her plate.
“Thank you,” she told him. “I think I’ve learned something. I’ll try it next time.”
“Warn me, so I can cover the smoke detector.” He headed for the couch.
Alexa frowned at his shaking shoulders. “Think you’re funny? I can do plenty of things you can’t.”
Her Reluctant Bodyguard Page 19
