Jamison laid several bills on the table. “What would you do if your fairy tale came true? Would you keep it, or run away?”
“I’m not a coward,” she protested.
His hand cupped her elbow and he led her onto the empty, chilly terrace. They leaned against the far rail, looking up at the immense, snowcapped Alps, bathed in moonlight. The late evening twilight had finally deepened into night.
“I’d like to climb them,” she said suddenly. “Imagine the view from the top.”
“It must be incredible,” he agreed. Silence elapsed. “But at some point you’d have to come back to earth. To us mortals.”
“It would be lonely up there,” she admitted, and shivered. “Cold, too, probably.” All she could think was that she would like to come back to this man and be warmed in his arms. Forever.
“Alexa…”
“Jamison. I think I want to go home now.” Maybe she was a coward. But how could Jamison possibly be the right man for her? Didn’t they squabble all the time? And next week she would fly back home and never see him again. Right?
“Are you running now, princess?”
“I’m cold. Please take me home.”
“Okay.” He ushered her back inside, made sure all was square with the waiter, and then drove back to the apartment building.
Inside their living room, Alexa peeled off her coat and draped it over her arm. She hugged it to her stomach, like a shield. “Thank you, Jamison. I had a lovely time.”
His intent gaze held hers. “And the chocolates?”
“Delicious.” She bit her lip.
Gently, he said, “Good night, Alexa.”
“Good night.” She closed her bedroom door and leaned against it. What had she just done?
They had overstepped the boundaries, yet again. She had known a date would be a bad idea. She had warned herself. But she was as helpless to resist Jamison as she was her favorite chocolates. It scared her.
Wasn’t he all wrong for her? He met almost none of the physical attributes she had desired in a man since she was fourteen. As far as character qualities; well, he aced those. He was a Christian, a man of impeccable integrity, and she respected him. Did she look up to him?
A few weeks ago, that question would have made her giggle hysterically. The answer wasn’t so funny anymore.
Chapter Seventeen
Alexa woke with last night’s memories still warm in her mind. The chocolates. Jamison’s kiss. The relaxation of sleep had lowered her defenses, and the truth of her feelings swamped her. Her heart ached for him and useless tears burned. Was it too late?
More truths unrolled in this moment of clarity. From the beginning, she had pushed Jamison away, for he brought out her fiery, spicy side—her true self. As a teen, she had alternately tried to bury it, or had used it as a weapon to protect herself. Lately, she had fervently wielded it to push Jamison away. It hadn’t worked. Alarmingly, he had dug deeper into her heart.
He had made her face the fear that strangled her.
Jamison wasn’t her father. He would never hurt her, as her father had inadvertently hurt her mother. Although both were physically strong men, that was where the similarity ended. Even during his violent struggle with the stalker in Rome, Jamison had remained in complete, tightly leashed control. Never would he succumb to a hysterical screaming fit, like her parents had done. Never would he allow his emotions to get the better of him. Never.
Alexa trusted Jamison completely, with her whole heart and her life. She had never met a man with such bone-deep integrity. On top of that, he was generous, honorable, and unselfish, just like the gallant knights of old. A faint smile curved her mouth. Had she wanted a knight all along, instead of a prince? He made her feel like a princess—like the most beautiful woman in the world.
She wanted more with Jamison. So much more. It both elated and terrified her.
Today’s verse from her daily devotional seemed heaven-sent.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18
Please take away my fear to love, Lord, and to be loved. She didn’t want to be afraid any longer.
Alexa jumped out of bed and quickly dressed, unable and unwilling to deny her eagerness to see Jamison this morning. Was he back yet from working out? She popped her head out the door.
He was. Jamison stood in the kitchen buttering toast. Her heart gave a glad leap. “Good morning!”
He turned, and his smile warmed her from her toes up. “Morning, princess.” His grin edged higher. “Did you brush your hair?”
Alexa’s hand flew to her head. No. She had forgotten, in her rush to see Jamison. “I just came out for tea,” she said loftily. “I’m not up yet.”
He closed the distance between them. “I like it.” His fingers slid a few strands of hair behind her ear. A quick breath caught in her throat. “There. Now you’re presentable.”
Her heart swelled, and she offered a small smile. “Thanks for taking care of me.”
“Always.” Seriousness darkened his eyes.
Agitation stirred, and she pulled away. Questioning her sanity, she trotted for the kitchen. What was wrong with her? Why was she already running from him? Didn’t she want his attention?
“Have you made me breakfast?” Alexa put her hands on her hips, surveying the solitary omelette in evidence. “I see not. I guess I’ll have to fend for myself.”
Quietly, he chuckled. “I thought you just wanted tea.”
“You discombobulated me.” Oops. Now, why had she gone and admitted that?
He grinned. “So you admit it.”
“I admit nothing,” she told him, and filled her mug with water.
“Okay. Play that game for now.” He carried his plate to the table. “I’ve got news.”
“What news?”
“The woman escaped from the Paris police.”
“What? How?” Horror gripped Alexa.
“While they were transferring her to another prison, she somehow escaped. They’re looking to see if she had help. Maybe from the mysterious daughter.”
“She’s on the loose again?” Dread built in Alexa. Three days remained on the tour, plus three more in London. Would she be safe when she went home? Surely the authorities would catch the malicious woman before then.
But only if the woman came out of hiding. Which meant, only if she tried to attack Alexa again.
She drew a shaky breath. “I’ll stick close to the flat for the next few days. I’m almost done with the first draft, anyway.”
“Really.”
“Don’t sound so amazed, Jethro. I’m good at what I do.”
“A book is a long assignment. I’m impressed you’re finishing so quickly.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
“When will you finish?”
“Today, for the most part. Colin said we can meet late tomorrow morning to iron out the last details. Then, in London, I’ll finish polishing the rough draft and print it out before I go.”
He nodded and unexpectedly said, “Will you come to breakfast with me tomorrow?”
“Another date?” Both pleasure and anxiety flared.
His brown gaze met hers. “Yes.”
Despite all logic, and all the fear warning her to run while she still could, Alexa softly agreed. “All right.”
“Eight o’clock okay?”
She wanted to say “perfect,” but what about their ill-fated relationship was perfect? By accepting this date with Jamison, wasn’t she sticking her head in the sand? Sure, she could enjoy their last days together—and how she did want to do that. But the end game would remain the same. Heartbreak. And wouldn’t the pain grow more awful with every minute she spent with him, loving him more?
Love.
“Alexa?” Jamison frowned. “Are you all right?”
No, she most certainly was not! “Umm,” she stammered. “I felt a sharp pain.
” In her heart! The stab of cupid’s arrow slicing through her last, flimsy defense.
She struggled to redirect the conversation. “Um, eight o’clock sounds terrific. I’d better get to work, then.” With haste, she retreated to her room. Unfortunately, she felt Jamison’s puzzled gaze following her.
Alexa crumpled at the desk and clamped her arms over her head. No. She could not be in love with Jamison! No. Her mouth contorted into a soundless cry. Tears gathered, balling up into an ache in her throat.
No. No, no, no, no, no!
But it was too late. The feeble denials wouldn’t change the truth. Helpless sobs wrenched her. Tears slicked her face and soaked her sleeves. She loved Jamison. She loved him with her whole heart.
When had it happened?
Did it matter? Another truth punctured her soul. From now on, every moment she spent with him would painfully deepen that love more and more.
Leaving him next week just might kill her.
The next morning, Jamison waited for Alexa in the living area. She had dressed with care in nice linen slacks and a muted gold top. She wore flats, of course. Just for him.
He smiled when he saw her. “You look beautiful, as always.”
“Thank you.” He had dressed up in black jeans and a black shirt of a smooth, silky texture. She grinned. “I guess silk does go with cotton, after all.”
“Like you and me, princess.”
Alexa didn’t know what to say to this, and followed him into the hall. “Where are we going?”
“A restaurant a block from here.”
When Jamison pushed open the building’s heavy glass door to the street, he reached for her hand, his gaze questioning but intent. It would be silly to deny her feelings for him now. What would be the purpose? She loved him. She wanted to hold his hand.
With a smile, she reached for him. He smiled, too, and they walked close together to a tiny restaurant. Lace curtains edged the bottom half of the windows, and inside, a blast of warmth and sweet smells enveloped them.
“Breakfast?” A waitress asked in accented English. “Come with me.”
Soon they were seated across from each other at a small wooden table. Alexa slipped her paper napkin onto her lap and glanced about the room. An assortment of people populated the tiny café. Some were obviously tourists, if their camera bags were any indication, but others, possibly locals, conversed in quiet voices.
“What’s a typical Swiss breakfast?” Alexa asked.
“Bread, butter, marmalade, cereal, cheese. Or anything you want.”
Alexa perused the menu and spied something called Birchermuesli. It sounded like cereal. She tilted the menu toward Jamison. “What’s in this?”
He read swiftly. “Looks like rolled oats, nuts, dried fruit, apples and honey.”
“I’ll get that,” Alexa decided, “and milk.”
Soon the waitress appeared and took their orders. Jamison chose a different cereal, with scrambled eggs on the side.
Alexa sipped water and said, “I love it here. I’d like to come back when I don’t have to worry about being attacked.”
“It’s a nice place to honeymoon.”
Alexa shot him a startled look. A warm sensation curled in her stomach. What had he meant by that? Certainly nothing concerning her. She couldn’t read his gaze. “Probably,” she agreed artlessly.
After the waitress delivered their drinks, Alexa said, “I’ve never asked you, Jamison, but what’s your idea of the perfect woman? Italian, maybe? Or a fabulous cook?”
“I don’t have set ideas like you do, Alexa.”
“Oh, come, now. Surely you know what type of woman you’re attracted to.”
He smiled slowly. “You’re ready to stop playing games?”
“I think so,” she replied softly.
“All right. I said I’d tell you everything when you were ready. So here goes.” His hands closed over hers. “I’m looking for a woman who is warm, funny, and sweet.”
“Then you can’t possibly be talking about me.” Alexa couldn’t stop the flip reply.
His hand tightened. “Don’t mouth off to me, princess. Let me finish.”
“Fine.” But apprehension coiled in her middle. What if he wanted a dark-haired, voluptuous Italian woman? Someone of normal height, and possibly even a gourmet cook! None of those descriptions remotely applied to her.
Jamison stroked her thumb. “I see that wild look in your eyes, princess. Focus, here.” She blinked and he continued, “I’m looking for a woman who will make me laugh. Even better, one who gets my blood pumping every time I see her.”
Well, that might describe her. “And?” she raised her brow. “Is that it, Jethro?”
His dark eyes smiled. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”
“I’m trying.”
He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss onto the knuckles. Her heart melted into a warm, soft puddle.
He watched her. “Do I have your attention now?”
“Yes,” she whispered, unable to look away.
“In case I haven’t made myself perfectly clear, I’m attracted to you, Alexa.”
She sighed, unable to help herself. Tender love bloomed like a bright, swiftly unfurling sunflower. “You’re not so bad yourself, Jamison.”
“Even though I don’t meet your criteria?” His gaze searched hers.
She smiled. “God broke the mold when He made you. I never could have thought you up, all on my own.”
He grinned, then. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should,” she said softly.
He leaned over the small table and gently kissed her. Instant flame sizzled between them, but Jamison pulled back with a small smile. “Here’s not the place. Later.”
It was just in time, too, for the waitress arrived with plates of food.
“Yum,” Alexa said. The smile she flashed Jamison suggested she meant more than the food.
Appreciation gleamed in his eyes, and they dug into breakfast in companionable silence. During the meal, they talked about Colin’s tour; everything, except the fact she would fly home next week. Just as well. Alexa wanted to enjoy the fairy tale for a little longer.
After breakfast, she was pleasantly surprised when the waitress left them each with a piece of chocolate.
“Do they have chocolate with every meal?” Alexa wanted to know.
“Many times, at least in restaurants, that’s true.”
“I could definitely live here,” Alexa approved, savoring the sweet morsel.
Holding hands, they slowly strolled back to the apartment building. He held open the door for her. Before she could help herself, she blurted, “Have you forgotten your promise, Jamison?”
“No.” To her surprise, he tugged her into a secluded corner. “I haven’t forgotten anything.”
Her heart beat rapidly. “I didn’t mean here,” she hissed.
His hands curled around her waist and he gently drew her to him. “Now seems like a good time to me.”
Alexa slid her hands over his hard, muscular shoulders, and Jamison kissed her. She felt breathless with the swell of love and need she felt for this man.
“What are you doing?” she whispered. “Everyone can see us.”
“I won’t kiss you in our flat. I won’t touch you there, either.”
Alexa understood. Temptation burned bright now. In their rooms, it might prove impossible to resist. She nodded.
His gaze held hers. “Have we reached an understanding?”
“Understanding?” Warmth, and the familiar anxiety churned through her. She pulled back.
Jamison exhaled softly. “Alexa…” He sounded warning. “It’s time to stop running.”
How could she admit her love for him? How could it ever work out? Surely, if she denied it, it would go away.
No, it wouldn’t.
Helplessly, she said, “Jamison, I care about you so much.” What weak, namby pamby words! “But…�
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“But?” Grimness stiffened his features.
“I’m leaving in six days!” Someone had to be practical, here. “Don’t you think we are not the best of ideas?”
“It’s not the game plan I would choose. But I can’t help what I feel for you, Alexa.”
And she couldn’t help what she felt for him. What was she going to do? “How did we get into this mess?” she whispered.
“We sparked from the first day we met.”
So true. She had ignored his warning to back off the set, and had called him—and all short men—munchkins. And implied they were unacceptable dating material. He had radiated antagonism toward her from the get-go.
“You must be pleased with yourself,” she told him.
He smiled. “Why?”
“Because you made me eat my words. I’ve been on two dates with you.”
“More than that.”
She looked away for a second. “Yes, more than that,” she admitted.
“Alexa.”
“What?”
“Can’t we make it past this? I’d like to try.”
Hope made her heart beat faster. “You would?”
“Do you want to make it work?”
She floundered. “But I live six thousand miles away!”
Pain etched lines into his features. “Yes. But I don’t want to lose you.”
And she didn’t want to lose him. “How?” she asked simply.
“I have time off coming. I could fly to L.A. and stay with my aunt. We could date like normal people for a few weeks.”
It sounded oh, so terribly wonderful and tempting to Alexa. “But then what?” she said, still trying to be logical. “I can’t afford to fly to London and visit you more than once or twice a year. And you wouldn’t be able to visit me much, either. And I’ve got my job. And probably another book tour. The publisher wants to put Colin’s book on the fast track.”
His fists briefly clenched. “You’re saying no.” He sounded bleak.
“No! I’m saying I don’t know. I mean, I want to, but I don’t see how it could possibly work.”
“Try with me, Alexa.”
She stared at him while hope and logic warred within her. Wanting to try. But petrified of loving him more and more deeply—and what if he didn’t feel the same for her? Or what if he changed his mind and broke her heart? It would completely and utterly devastate her.
Her Reluctant Bodyguard Page 29
