I opened the window as far as I could push it and climbed out. I had no idea where the hell I was – but there was no way on this earth that I was staying around to find out...
I finally got home. The flat I’d been held in wasn’t far from where the party had taken place. I called the phone company and my bank to report the loss of my wallet since everything had been taken from me and I sent up a silent prayer that Mum had insisted I take out the phone insurance – I’d have a new one couriered to me by this evening.
I rang Lionel as soon as I could.
He picked up immediately, “Oh, so you finally decide to call,” he said snottily, “Seriously, Alfie, what gives? I went to the bathroom last night – and I came back out and you’d gone – if you really hated the party that much you only had to say. You didn’t have to fuck off home without me.”
I faltered. I was certain he hadn’t left my side all night... “No.” I said, “You never went to the bathroom...”
He ignored what I said and ploughed on, “Well, never mind... I’m so sorry for taking you there – we won’t go again. Are you gonna be working later?”
I blinked. What time was it? I squinted at the clock on the wall and saw that it was just coming up to three in the afternoon. Wow. It was much later than I’d thought. “Uh, yeah – sure.”
“I’ll see you there, then.”
Not once had he asked what had happened to me – he’d just assumed I’d left him there and he wasn’t even bothered about me until I took the time out to call him. He hadn’t come home, so what had he been doing all night? And where the hell was he now?
I’d only called to check on his wellbeing but he’d managed to make me feel as if I’d done something wrong... There would be absolutely no point in asking him his whereabouts – that would only fuel his anger towards me and I really didn’t need that.
Well, maybe it was for the best that he didn’t want to know what had happened and had assumed I’d left him at the party. The fewer people that knew I’d been taken advantage of, the better...
“Yeah,” I finally managed, “I’ll see you there.”
Chapter 24 – What happened to you?
Harley
I waited for Alfie to finish his shift – it was pretty late when he finally finished and came back over to the bar to join me – making me wonder if he’d been hoping that I would give up and leave. Well, he’d be disappointed, I was never gonna give up on being with him again. Not ever.
He looked all around, a look of apprehension, verging on fear on his face before sitting down on the bar stool next to me. Was he expecting to see someone else in here tonight?
“So?” I said when he sat down and Seth put an orange juice in front of him, “This guy you’re seeing – nice guy, is he?”
He shrugged, “I guess that would depend on your definition of ‘nice’.” He mumbled, “He’s very good-looking. He’s rich, smart...”
I nodded, “So why do I sense a ‘but’?”
He sighed and shook his head, “I’m not as clever as he is,” He said, “I’m a lot younger and I think it irritates him.”
I frowned. Alfie was perfectly intelligent, charming and positively adorable in every way. It didn’t matter how young he was – he could carry off a conversation with anyone. I might not be the brain of Britain either but it didn’t take a genius to work out that Lionel was nothing but a prick... “So why don’t you break it off and give someone a little younger – and a little less clever than Mr Brainiac – a chance.” I raised my eyebrows and shot him a hopeful grin.
I thought he would laugh, but to my horror, his eyes filled with tears. He shook his head, “I’m not good enough for you.” He said with a bit of a shaky breath, “Not now... not anymore.”
I put my hand on his and forced him to look at me, “Why not?” I asked softly, “What’s changed?”
He hung his head, “I have,” he said, “– I don’t even recognise myself anymore.”
I stroked his cheek, wiping away his tears and then tasting one – just because... “Well, you might look a little bit worn down with life – but you’re still the same beautiful guy I fell for at first sight.” I said, smiling at him.
He burst into loud, snotty tears and threw himself into my arms, “Oh, God. Help me.” He whispered in my ear, “Please. Help me, Harley.”
Chapter 25 – Controlling boyfriend...
Alfie
If Lionel knew I’d asked Harley for help, he’d have probably killed me.
Luck had been on my side that night, though and none of his cronies had been in the club – and Lionel himself hadn’t bothered to come and find me, for which I was eternally grateful. It was nice to just feel normal and to spend time with a nice guy for a change.
I was hoping against hope that he’d lost interest in me for good. He rarely wanted me in his own bed these days but that didn’t mean he’d had his fill yet. Oh, no. He just loved to watch me pleasure others for his own sick perversions. I’d wrongly seen River as a bit of a whore when we first met. He really wasn’t – he was just a young guy having fun and putting it around a bit. I was the whore – only I wasn’t getting anything out of the deal. I was more a sex-slave than anything – and all at the hands of my so-called boyfriend.
He wasn’t even nice to me anymore. He’d started out with little criticisms... over the next couple of months he’d gotten worse. He didn’t like my hair; my guy-liner had to go, my lip-gloss annoyed him. He hated my mesh tops and my ripped jeans... Almost everything about me annoyed him...
One day I’d just about had enough of his constant griping and I still had the balls to fight back. It was short lived... “Well if I’m so bloody awful – let’s end it. You go your way and I’ll go mine.” I said with my hands on my hips and a flick of my hair.
He went absolutely bananas and back-handed me, knocking me off my feet. I fell backwards into the kitchen chair, which fell over and I landed on the floor in a tangle of the chair and the pots and pans that were on the shelf just behind.
I had more bruises than I could count that evening but the worst of it all had been turning up for work with a shiner. Buzz’s face was a picture...
“What the hell has he done to you?” he growled.
I wanted to lie and to tell him that I’d walked into a door or something – but Buzz was like a big brother and I found myself spilling my guts about everything – well, not everything. I couldn’t even come to terms with what I’d found myself agreeing to do with Lionel and one of his friends. Like I said, I’d never thought threesomes were sexy but Lionel did – and he said that if I loved him, then I’d do it...
“But I’ve never...” I didn’t like to sound so inexperienced – but I really was. Lionel and I had enjoyed a couple of blowjobs between us, but I wasn’t nearly ready to do anything else – and he’d never pushed the issue – well, not until I got kidnapped at the party anyway. He didn’t believe me when I told him what had happened. I think he thought I’d gone back to someone’s house and he’d been off with me ever since.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, rolling his eyes, “You’ve said that before – but I’m not sure I believe you.”
I gaped at him, “How can you say that? Why would I lie to you?”
He shrugged, “Dunno.” He said, “Why would you lie to me, Alfie?”
I looked at him bewildered. Why the hell didn’t he believe me?
Buzz stared at me, “Did Lionel hit you?” he growled.
I nodded, “It was a misunderstanding.” I mumbled.
He narrowed his eyes, “And the drugs?” he said, “Did he misunderstand that you don’t do those too?”
I shook my head, “I was just experimenting.” I mumbled.
“Don’t,” Buzz said shortly, “A couple of drinks is normal and getting drunk every now and again – is again, normal. Regularly snorting coke or whatever it is he’s getting you to do is not normal, Alfie – and I reckon your mum would be horrified if she knew what you’d gotten yo
urself into.”
I nodded, “I know.” I whispered. Truth be known, I was pretty damned horrified at what I’d gotten myself into, never mind having Mum find out about it...
I didn’t mean to burst into tears and cry all over Harley either. And I most certainly didn’t mean to go back to his place and spend the night being pampered and looked after.
But it had been so long since I’d seen him – and so long since I’d been treated like a person instead of like a piece of meat.
Harley was perfect and I really loved him. Oh, God. I really loved him...
I had to go and finish things properly with Lionel.
I vowed to do it the very next day.
Chapter 26 – Second chance...
Harley
For the first time in weeks I woke up feeling contented and happy – and it was all down to Alfie. I was so glad he’d given me a second chance.
I was lying flat on my back and he was draped across me. His leg slung possessively over mine, and his face buried into my neck. It felt nice... what do I mean nice? It felt fucking perfect.
He snuffled in his sleep and then mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘no’. I frowned. He sounded like a hurt animal the way he said that. Was he re-living some hideous experience? My blood ran cold. What the hell had that sadistic bastard been doing to him?
He’d been frightened last night to come back to my place. I was disappointed to find that he’d started seeing someone but I was more disturbed that the guy he was seeing was someone that seemed to be treating him really badly. Why was he putting up with it? What sort of a hold did this guy have over him?
I’d wanted to interrogate him over it all last night but he’d just wanted to sleep and since he looked so beaten down with life, I’d let him.
Today though, well, today was a whole new ball game. I wanted to know what he’d been through – and I wanted to kick that guy, Lionel’s arse from here to the moon and back.
I touched his shoulder and he flinched. “Alfie.” I said quietly, “It’s just me, Harley.”
His beautiful baby blues blinked open and he stared at me as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Maybe he couldn’t – he’d been pretty out of it last night. “How are you here?” he murmured, “What’s going on?”
He sat bolt upright and looked around in a bit of a panic, “Holy shit – is this your place?”
I nodded, frowning, “Well, of course it is – can’t you remember coming her last night?”
He shook his head, “Not really...”
I shook my head and ran my hands through my hair. His drug-taking was worse than I’d first thought. Just how often did he wake up with no recollection of the night before?
“Alfie,” I said softly, “Why are you taking drugs?”
His eyes filled with tears and he shrugged, “I don’t know.” He said, “It’s just easier...”
I frowned, “Easier than what?”
He looked at me, “I can’t break up with Lionel...”
I blinked, “You can’t break up with him? What do you mean you can’t break up with him?” My stomach felt a little quivery as I looked at the fearful look on his face. What the fuck had he gotten himself into? “Why not, sweetheart?”
He looked at me and his massive eyes told me a thousand words that I knew he’d never really wish to utter. The guy was an abusive partner – that went without saying but there was so much more to it than that – I was certain. I’d seen cases like this before. I wondered just what sort of a man this Lionel was. Time to do some digging. “It’s just...” he floundered for something to say.
“It’s just what?” I pressed.
He shrugged helplessly, “I don’t think he’s gonna be very happy if I break it off with him. I’ve tried before...”
Holy fucking shit. I’d allowed this to happen with my stupid inability to figure out how to have a long distance relationship and bailing at the first hurdle... “How on earth did you let things get like this, baby?” I murmured.
He took in a long shuddery breath and closed his eyes, “Because I really thought he loved me... and I kind of thought that I loved him too – to start with.”
I was surprised to hear that he thought he’d loved him. How could you love someone that treated you so badly? And what about his feelings for me? Had they evaporated so easily without me being around? “Did you love him? Really?”
He shrugged, “No,” he said, “I liked him well enough I guess – and I was flattered at his attention,” he sighed and shook his head, “I must have felt something for him.... you don’t allow people like that to destroy you without feeling something for them, do you?”
My blood ran cold. I guessed not... But love? Love wasn’t something you could really put your finger on. It existed. I knew it existed because I could feel it. And my God I felt it for Alfie. I loved Alfie with everything I was. I was in love with Alfie....
Swallowing down the lump in my throat that was threatening – after all, this was about him, not me – I patted his shoulder, “Hey – let’s not focus too much on that right now. How about some pancakes or something for breakfast?”
He smiled, wiping his eyes and nodding, “That sounds great.”
Chapter 27 – Preparing to break it off...
Alfie
Being with Harley was like a salve on my soul. Everything was just better when he was around. I could forget that my new boyfriend liked threesomes with some really gross guys that I’d rather not even think about and made me take part.
And I could pretend that this was my life instead of the shitty one I was really living. It was getting to the point where I was wondering if there was any way out of it, other than ending it all...
But no, that wasn’t the answer. I just had to end things with Lionel. Easier said than done but surely not impossible, now that Harley was back – even if he ultimately wouldn’t want me. I was going to have to tell him everything if I was going to have at least a hope of pursuing a relationship with the guy. Might as well do it sooner rather than later – he would surely be able to help me get away from Lionel, if nothing else. He was a police officer after all...
Harley put a plateful of steaming pancakes, drizzled with syrup and fruit, in front of me, “Eat.” He said with a smile, “You’ve lost weight since I last saw you.”
I nodded, “Lionel reckoned I was too fat.”
He frowned. His lips in a tight line, “He’s wrong.” He said shortly, “You’re too thin if anything.”
I shrugged, “Don’t you start.” I muttered.
Harley was instantly contrite, “I wasn’t criticising you – I’m just concerned that you’re health might suffer if you don’t eat properly.”
I nodded. I knew that. I also knew that Lionel’s obsession with my weight – and all round body image was kind of unhealthy. He wanted me to use hair removal cream all over to make me look younger even though I was blond and you could hardly see it anyway – and I guessed that the skinnier I was, the more like a young teen I appeared... The guy definitely had issues. I dug into my pancakes, mouth already watering just from the smell. “Oh, my God.” I breathed, “These taste amazing.”
Harley grinned at me, “I’m glad you like them.” He said, going a little pink at my compliment.
I smiled at him. God he was so beautiful. What the hell had possessed me to ever get involved with anyone else without even giving him the benefit of the doubt? Fucking idiot. That’s what I was. A fucking idiot...
“I’m uh, gonna head over to Lionel’s later.” I ventured.
His smile disappeared instantly, replaced with a frown, “Why?” he asked, “Why don’t you just call him instead.”
I sighed and shook my head, “I need to do this face to face.” I said. I needed the closure of the whole thing. And besides – my clothes were at his house.
Harley nodded, “Then I’ll come with you.”
Fear gripped my heart and made me want to puke. If Harley turned up wit
h me, I had no idea how Lionel would react. He accused me of cheating on him all of the time as it was – and he had some really mean friends. I was afraid that they would find Harley and hurt him – like really hurt him – if they thought he was involved with me. I was, after all, Lionel’s prize bitch. I shook my head, “I’d rather go alone if you don’t mind...”
He shrugged, “Whatever you say.” He muttered but I knew he wasn’t happy about it.
Harley
I wasn’t about to make a big scene about him going alone – but there was no way he was going alone either. Even if I didn’t walk up to the door with him I was going to be waiting outside.
And I was going to get back-up, too. Alfie was walking into danger going back there, I was absolutely sure of it.
He hadn’t said much about his relationship, but I was guessing that he wasn’t a virgin any longer and that made my heart ache. Not that I’d expected him to wait for me – just that he’d allowed himself to get involved with someone that didn’t care enough about him not to put him in danger.
I blamed myself. If I’d only been honest about my feelings for him, none of this would have ever happened. I was entirely at fault with my pathetic closeted existence. As soon as he was away from this sadistic twat I was going to shout from the rooftops that he was my guy and that I was absolutely one hundred per cent in love with him.
Alfie
I walked up to the main door of the luxury flats that Lionel lived in and pressed the button for his flat. I could have just gone in. I had my own key but I just didn’t want to. I needed to show him that I didn’t belong there anymore – not that I ever had.
“Alfie.” His voice came through the speaker sounding absolutely delighted that I was there. This was the thing with Lionel. He blew hot and cold constantly – he said it kept me on my toes and eager to please him. He treated me more like an abused pet than a human being and even though I could totally see what he was doing, I was kind of trapped in the relationship. Too embarrassed and too ashamed of what I’d become to reach out and ask for the help I needed to escape him. I should have just gone home to Mum and Dad but I hadn’t. I was too ashamed of the way I’d treated them when I left.
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