by Janet Dailey
Like a drowning person, Jill made one last attempt to be saved when his mouth blazed a path to the hollow of her throat.
"I can't—"
Her thoughts were too chaotic. What couldn't she do? She couldn't stop. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't exist without the wildfire of his touch.
"I'm insane," she ended with a sighing groan.
His head lifted briefly, fingers sliding to her throat. "That's the way I want you to be," Riordan muttered harshly. "Driven to madness until you can think of nothing else but me." He spoke against her lips, his mouth moving mobilely over them in a caress that was designed to make her ache for his kiss. "I want your wings to be singed so you can't fly away until sunrise."
Jill breathed in sharply, knowing she didn't ever want to fly away yet realizing how dangerous it would be to give in to her emotions so completely.
"Kerry…Todd…" she offered in protest.
Riordan's mouth shut off her words until she stopped caring about Kerry and Todd. Only then did he answer.
"They'll be enjoying the privacy you've been so keen for them to have. They won't miss you. I doubt if Todd even expected me back tonight."
Weakly Jill shook her head, but unable to deny the truth of what he said. Lowering her head, she felt his lips against her hair, their moistness tangling in the silken gold.
"Riordan, I—"
The support of his hard masculine body was taken away from her and she swayed toward him. Her movement was checked as an arm slid under her knees and she was lifted into the air, cradled against his chest. Automatically her hands circled his neck.
As he turned toward the small bed, a shaft of starlight glittered over his face. The strength of purpose stamped in the forceful, handsome lines caught at Jill's throat. Nothing could stop him. The same primitive mood had her in its spell and she knew she didn't want to try to prevent what seemed so inevitable and paradoxically so right.
Sitting on the side of the bed, Riordan held her on his lap. His face was in shadows, but she knew the gray eyes were studying her. This was her last chance to protest. Instead her fingers began exploring the blunt angles of his features, feather soft and caressing.
He seemed to be prolonging the moment when he claimed her as if to make the possession sweeter. Feeling wantonly bold, Jill leaned forward and pressed her lips against his mouth. It curved briefly under her touch into a complacent smile.
"The bed isn't made for two," Riordan murmured huskily, the grooves around his mouth deepening in satisfaction, "but tonight I don't think either one of us will care."
An almost inaudible moan of complete surrender slipped from her throat as Riordan bent her backward onto the mattress. His hand slid intimately from her thigh to her hip and along to the curve of her breast. The pressing weight of his male body followed her down, his mouth unerringly and possessively finding hers. Jill was lost in an erotic dreamworld of sensations that she never wanted to end. She succumbed with rapturous delight to each new touch.
"Jill?" A familiar voice was trying to enter her dream. Jill's head moved in protest to its call. "Jill? Where are you?"
"No!" she gave a muffled cry to forbid the entry.
"Sssh." Riordan's strong fingers lightly covered her mouth. His indirect acknowledgment of the voice that called her made the dreamworld begin to fade into reality.
"Jill?" Now she could recognize the voice as Kerry's, still distant but moving closer. "Where could she be?"
"She did say she was going to the kitchen, didn't she?" Todd was with Kerry.
"Yes, but she isn't here," came the muffled reply of concern.
Reason and sanity came back with shocking swiftness as Jill tried to twist from beneath Riordan's weight. He checked the movement easily.
"No," his low voice commanded near her ear. "You know you don't really want to leave."
"Yes…no." The conflicting answers were crazily the truth as Jill was torn in two by her emotions.
"Maybe she went outside for a walk," Todd suggested.
"It isn't like her not to tell me. Oh, Todd, let's check." Kerry rushed, and footsteps started down the hall that led past Riordan's room to the rear door of the house.
Jill's hands pushed frantically against the stone wall of his chest. "They'll find us," she whispered desperately.
His warm breath moved over her cheek in silent laughter. "They won't look for you in here," he mocked, his mouth following the curve of her throat to the tantalizing hollow between her breasts.
"N-n-no!" Her protest was shaken by the violent surge of desire brought on by his intimate touch.
"She could have gone up to her room, too," Todd said as the two sets of footsteps walked by the bedroom door.
"Let's check outside first," Kerry replied anxiously.
"She's a grown woman. She can take care of—" The "herself" was lost as the closing back door cut off the rest of Todd's statement.
"I told you they wouldn't find us," Riordan murmured against her skin.
"B-but they'll keep on looking," Jill moaned softly, her hands still straining against him. "Please let me go."
"No." His fingers closed over her chin, holding it motionless as his mouth closed over hers in a drugging kiss that sent her floating nearly all the way back into her dreamworld.
The click of the bedroom doorknob splintered through her. The alert tensing of Riordan's muscles told her he had heard it too, but he didn't lift his mouth from hers nor allow her protesting lips to twist away.
"Riordan, they're looking for her." Mary Rivers spoke from the doorway.
His hold relaxed slightly as he raised his head, his gaze glittering, holding Jill's pleading blue eyes. Hot waves of shame licked through her veins.
"Get out of here, Mary," Riordan ordered smoothly.
Tearing her eyes from his face, Jill twisted her head toward the housekeeper, her tall stocky build outlined by the light streaming into the room from the hallway. Her throat worked convulsively, but nothing came out. Part of her didn't want to be rescued.
"You can't do it, Riordan," Mary sighed, but with firm conviction.
"Can't I?" he jeered arrogantly. "The lady is more than willing," he added with sarcastic emphasis.
"Let her go."
He smiled coolly down at Jill. "She's free to leave," he rolled away from her, only a hand remaining spread on her stomach as a wicked gray light held her gaze captive, "if she really wants to leave."
Perhaps if he hadn't been so confident she would stay or if he had asked her not to leave him, Jill would have remained where she was. Instead, with a frightened sob at what a fool she had nearly made of herself, she scrambled to her feet.
Two wavering steps toward the door were all she had taken before the soft flesh of her upper arms was seized in a biting grip. Weakly she allowed herself to be pulled back against his chest, her head lolling against his shoulder, unable to deny the disturbance his touch caused.
"Riordan," Mary warned swiftly.
"No, she can go," he interrupted in an ominously low voice laced with contempt. "She and I both know that I wasn't seducing her. She was letting me seduce her. Almost since the day she came, she's been inviting me to make love to her, deliberately holding back so she could twist me around her finger. She knew I found her as physically attractive as any man would and she intended to use that attraction to get what she wanted. Isn't that right, Jill?" he demanded savagely.
She didn't have the strength to disagree even if he was wrong, but he wasn't wrong and she didn't argue. "Yes, yes, that's right," she admitted in a breathy whisper.
"But I'm not twisted around your finger." The derisive jeer slashed at her pride. "I take what I want and when I'm through with it, I throw it away." He released her with a slight push toward the door and Mary. "You can go. But I'm not quite through with you yet."
With that half-threat and half-promise ringing in the air, Jill stumbled forward. Mary wrapped a supporting arm around her shoulders and led her fro
m the room. Drained of all emotion except the cold feeling of dread, Jill was barely aware of the housekeeper's presence.
"I'll take you upstairs to your room," said Mary.
Jill was suddenly conscious of how disheveled she must look. Her clothes were in a revealing state of disarray and her lips had to be swollen from his passionate kisses. She knew she had the look of a woman who had been made love to. A sob strangled her throat. She very nearly had!
She cast a surreptitious glance at the housekeeper, wondering what this proud woman thought of her. The only part of Riordan's accusation that had been a lie was when he had suggested that she had intended that he seduce her. Jill had never contemplated going that far, but she had set out to twist him around her finger. She had planned to make Riordan want her so badly he would do anything.
When they reached her bedroom, Jill caught the look of gentle compassion in Mary's dark eyes. In shame and humiliation, she knew guiltily that she didn't deserve the woman's understanding.
"I'm all right," Jill asserted forcefully, averting her face from the housekeeper's concerned gaze. Her legs now strong enough to deny the need for a supporting arm, Jill stepped forward. "Would you tell Kerry that you saw me and that…that I have a headache and have gone to my room?"
"I'll see that you're not disturbed," Mary nodded perceptively, "by anyone."
By anyone, Jill knew she meant Riordan, too. And she didn't doubt that the woman would figuratively stand guard at her door. When Mary left, Jill buried her face in her hands, but she didn't cry.
Hysterical laughter sobbed in her throat. She barely smothered it with her hand. The irony of the situation struck her forcibly. All along she had believed Riordan was chasing her. Instead, she had been chasing him and he had caught her. She was the one who had been brought to her knees.
Never once in all her planning had she ever seriously considered the possibility that she might fall in love with Riordan. Yet that was exactly what she had done. She knew it as clearly and as certainly as she knew her own name.
Tonight had not been the result of a sudden desire for physical experience or the arousing attention of an experienced lover. They were a potent combination but not an explanation for her complete abandonment of reason. Love was the answer, no matter how foolish and painful the emotion might be.
Chapter Nine
JILL STARED at the rising golden globe on the eastern horizon. Blue eyes were glazed with pain, faint etchings of red at the corners. Not from tears. She hadn't cried. Not a single tear had come forward to ease the ache in her heart.
The redness was from exhaustion. She had not sleep. She had not even attempted to sleep nor made the pretense that she would. Still dressed in the same clothes, she had alternately paced the room and stared sightlessly out the window. Sometimes she thought of nothing except what it had been like in Riordan's arms. At other times, her mind raced wildly to come up with a scheme to make Riordan love her. All were rejected eventually. He would see through them just as he had seen through all of her other maneuvers.
There was a subdued knock at her door, and she spun from the window. It couldn't be Kerry. She would use the connecting door. Todd was out of the question. Mary?
"W-who is it?" she called shakily.
"Riordan," was the low response.
A shaft of pure joy pierced her heart. She wanted to race to the door, fling it open and throw herself into his arms. She jammed a fist in her mouth.
"Go away," she said tightly, biting into her knuckles.
The doorknob turned, but for some unknown reason Jill had locked it last night. Now she bowed her head in thankfulness.
"A locked door isn't going to stop me, Jill. Open it!"
It wasn't an idle threat. Still, she hesitated before walking over and turning the key in the lock. Control was the key, she told herself as she walked quickly away. She had to remain calm and controlled. She mustn't let her emotions surface, nor the love she felt for him.
Again at the window, she halted. He was in the room, the door closed behind him. Jill stared sightlessly out off he window.
"What do you want?" she demanded.
"If you had trouble sleeping last night, why didn't you come downstairs?"
Jill glanced sharply over her shoulder just as Riordan turned away from the bed that bore not the slightest imprint of having been slept in. Aloof gray eyes caught her look and held it, a cynical quirk to his hard mouth.
"Leave me alone, Riordan," she snapped harshly at his arrogant expression, then breathed in deeply to regain the control she needed so desperately. Yet it seemed that the only way she had of concealing her love for him was to lash out with anger.
"Not yet," he answered with cold mockery. "I've come to tell you that you can move your things down to my room this morning. I'll have a larger bed and another chest of drawers moved in."
Slowly Jill turned from the window, her head tipped to one side in disbelief. "What?" she breathed incredulously.
A brow arched higher. "I thought I'd made it clear. I'm not the type to go sneaking around and taking part, in midnight rendezvous."
"So you're simply arranging for me to sleep with you?" Her hands moved to a challenging position on her hips.
"Spare me the pretense of indignation." His mouth moved into a crooked, jeering line. "I'm sure your friend Kerry is aware of the facts of life. No doubt she'll find it romantic and excitingly risqué. If you prefer, I'll explain to her and Todd."
"And what will you explain? That I'm your new sleeping partner, your lover, your mistress?" Jill demanded coldly. "I would be curious to know exactly what position you're offering me."
The dark head was tipped arrogantly back, the gray eyes clear and piercing like an eagle's. "Whatever label suits you," replied Riordan.
"What is the duration of this position?" A cold sarcasm filled her heart and, momentarily at least, eased the pain. "Until you're through with me?"
"I'm not setting any time limit, butterfly." There was faint contempt in his tone. "Whichever one of us tires of the other first can call it quits."
"I see," she said tautly. "And you expect me to fall all over myself accepting this arrangement?"
Riordan moved slowly to stand in front of her and it was all Jill could do to hold her ground and not retreat. He towered over her for a long moment.
His hand reached out to touch the petal softness of her cheek. Something melted inside her at his caress and she had to steel herself not to visibly react.
"You were eager enough for me to make love to you last night," Riordan reminded her softly.
The peculiar light in his eyes made her heart skip a beat. Yet the indecision of what to do that had plagued her all night was gone. Under these circumstances, there was only one thing she could do.
"Yes," she admitted calmly, "I did want you to make love to me last night."
There was a satisfied movement of his mouth. "Do you want me to send Mary up to help you pack your things?"
Jill moved away from the hand that was still resting on her cheek and walked to the center of the room. She clasped her hands in front of her, staring at her twining fingers for an instant before she tossed her head back and met his alert gaze.
"Please do send Mary." A chilling calm spread over her. "I would like to pack and get out of this house as soon as possible."
The room crackled with a stunned silence. His gaze narrowed fractionally, followed by a short sardonically amused sigh.
"Are you flying away already, butterfly?" There was an indifferent movement of his mouth. "Even that was too much of a commitment for you to make?"
His aloof comment stung. If he had indicated in any way that he cared for her, Jill would have willingly committed her life to him. She felt the moistness of tears on her lashes.
"There is one more thing," she squeezed the words out through the lump in her throat, "before I ask you to leave my room. I want you to give your approval of Todd's marriage to Kerry."
Again he walke
d to stand in front of her, not touching her this time, as his glaze focused on a crystal drop threatening to fall from a dark gold lash.
"Tears?" Riordan jeered. "That must be the oldest female maneuver in the book. You must be digging deep in your bag of tricks to come up with that one!"
Jill stared at her hands, unable to meet his satirical look. "I don't doubt that you find them amusing. I don't think you're capable of feeling anything but your own primitive needs." She took a deep breath, not raising her eyes. "You don't know your brother very well either, because if you did, you would know he's capable of very deep feelings. He cares about you, but he'll only allow you to stand in the way of his happiness for a short while. You can threaten him with money or any other thing you want, but in the end he will marry Kerry and hate you. Maybe you don't care. Family probably means nothing to you. If it doesn't, then it can't matter what Todd does with his life."
"Are you finished interfering?" Riordan snapped.
"Yes." Jill turned away, her shoulders slightly hunched forward, a terrible coldness in her heart. "Will you go now? And…And I would prefer not to see you again before I leave."
"That makes two of us," he agreed mockingly.
The bedroom door slammed and another tear slipped from her lashes. Jill wiped it determinedly away. She wasn't going to cry, not when she knew she was doing the only thing possible. She walked to the closet and started yanking out her clothes. A few minutes later Mary was there, silently helping her, not needing the reason for Jill's sudden departure explained.
The last suitcase had been snapped shut when there was a knock on her door. Jill couldn't move, terrified that it might be Riordan and her resolve to leave would crumble if she had to be near him again. But when Mary opened the door, it was Todd who stood in the hallway.
"Riordan said that as soon as you were ready I'm supposed to take you home," he said quietly. "He said you had an argument." But his hazel eyes said he knew it was more complicated than that.
