Getting back to my task I find Frankie sitting on the stairs with her head in hands. Sitting beside her I place my hand on her back and rub circles on it, like I would her fur if she was in wolf form. I imagine the feel of her fur between my fingers. I’ve never actually done that to her wolf. Although she’s done it to me many times, thinking about it now, I can feel her fingers running through my fur during the times I’ve visited her as the stray wolf, Tony, she’d called me. I miss those days. I miss sitting with her all carefree. Life is so much easer as a wolf. I’d find her sad, so I’d lick her cheek to make her giggle and I’d always feel her sadness drift away. Things are much more complicated as a human. The question that keeps running through my mind is a troubling thought. Did she chose Nate in the end, regardless of what she’d said in the bar? Her pain on the night felt like she had but part of me hopes I had it wrong. If she had chosen Nate, things are going to be so hard for her now, twice as hard since Dave is such a visual reminder of what she’s lost. If she is still standing by those feelings she’d announced in the bar, I could move our relationship on and give her comfort for the loss of a pack mate. But if she had a change of heart, and Nate is the one, making those moves would just cause us both more stress and pain.
My wolf nudges at me, wanting to come out and play. Unfortunately it’s not possible at the moment with the police in the house. There’s no way I can just turn wolf. Or could I?
“Jesse, why didn’t he tell me?” Frankie asks, her voice sounding muffled from behind her hands.
“Tell you what, Darling? Did you not know about Dave?” I ask, knowing that she will have just seen Dave walk by and the sight of him must be what has upset her.
“No, I didn’t. But not that, about my mother. That he knew her. That he… loved her.”
“Oh, Sweetheart. Nate grew up in the pack and yes he loved your mother, but you have to understand, she was the Alpha’s Mate, every male pack member loved her.”
Her head snaps up and looks at me with demanding eye’s. “Did you love her? Is that why you like me? Because I remind you of my mother? Is that why Nate said he loved me?” she asks, her voice a mixture of hurt and anger.
I brush a loose strand of hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear, so I have a clear view of her. “No Frankie, I love you for you. Maria has nothing to do with it. I promise you that’s true for both myself and Nate. Nate had a teenage crush on Maria, before that changed to the love of a pack mate. Just the same love we all have for each other.” I kiss her temple. “He chose you as a mate, that has to show you he loves you,” I add in a soft tone, not wanting her memories tainted with a question for the rest of her life. A werewolf can live a long life.
She frowns. “He didn’t chose me,” she states, leaning back slightly to look at me clearer. “He told me I was meant for someone else. To be honest I knew it all along too. When I asked him ‘What about you?‘ He told me his mate is out there somewhere and he’ll find her one day. Only now, he never will.”
I reach out with my thumb and wipe away a lone tear as it runs down her cheek. “Her path has changed, she’ll find another mate now,” I say, guessing what has upsets her about that thought.
Chapter Thirty Five
Frankie
Listening to Jesse clear up all my stray thoughts, solidifies my feelings on our relationship. He’s the one. My mate. He knows me well enough to know what I’m thinking without me having to spell it out. Nobody else would of known I was crying for Nate’s unknown mate, but Jesse did.
With that knowledge I lean into him and place my lips on his in a gentle kiss. After a moments hesitation he kisses me back. Not fiercely or full of passion like in our previous kisses, but soft, gentle and full of love. As I pull back I see a flash of Tony in his eyes and I’m not surprised as he gives my cheek a long sloppy lap with his tongue, before pulling away laughing.
Hearing his laugh makes me feel euphoric causing me to play along. “Eww,” I say wiping at my cheek over dramatically.
“Excuse me, Mr O’Keefe. Ms Rossi. We need to take your statements now.” An young constable stutters nervously, as he stands in the pool room entrance.
The happy moment between us is gone and the weight on my shoulders is once again heavy. Jesse stands, looking down at me he offers me his hand. I may not need the help up but I take his hand regardless, feeling his energy crawl along my skin makes me feel safe and solid.
The constable leads us through the pool room, past the table and stops beside the bar and Jesse’s closed office door. “Sergeant Sanchez is waiting for you in there, Ms Rossi,” he says turning to me. “Mr O’Keefe will be right here giving me his statement,” he adds, pointing to the stools at the bar. I don’t know if he picked up on the panic rolling over me but I know Jesse did. He gives me hand a gentle squeeze, giving me the strength to push down the panic, let go of his hand and enter the room. I have to go over the events of one the worst days of my life one more time, and then I can move on.
It turns out Sergeant Sanchez is the same sergeant with the pot belly, from last night. I don’t recall hearing his name last night, maybe he never told me it. Perhaps I was in too much shock to take note of it. “Good afternoon, Ms Rossi.” His words make me look at the clock on the wall. Two in the afternoon. We must have slept for a long time in that puppy pile. “Please take a seat,” he suggests pointing to the sofa against he wall as he sits behind Jesse’s desk. “Let’s get started. In your own words, could you please go over last nights events for me.”
Taking a deep breath I tell him what he wants to hear. It doesn’t take me long to get through the evenings events. Not the first time anyway. The third and fourth time seem to take me longer. I start to question myself, wondering whether I’m telling him the right things, trying to make sure I’m not slipping up and telling him something I shouldn’t. Like the fact that I became a wolf, and ate his suspect.
Finally he states the wonderful words I’ve been waiting for since I finished the first time around. “Thank you, Ms Rossi. You’re free to go… For now.”
Dashing out of the room, I close the heavy door behind me and sigh in relief as I slump against the closest barstool. I’d expected him to ask me to go over it, ‘Just one more time’. I can’t believe he hasn’t.
At first glance it looks like the room is empty. My stomach grumbles and I decide the best place to go is the kitchen. Not only will I find food there, but I’ll probably find Kelly since no matter whether he’s stressed, happy or sad, he cooks. Most of the other pack members there too, being a werewolf seems to mean you have a bottomless pit for a stomach. Before I became a werewolf I used to wonder how Joey managed to eat such massive meals, without being obese, but now I totally understand it.
Something moves in the corner of my eyes causing me to stop in my tracks and look over to the window seat. My eyes fall on Kate, she smiles and pats the seat next to her in invitation for me to join her.
“Hi,” she says, as I sit down beside her. “How are you?”
I can’t believe my own ears. She’s asking about me? She’s the one who has lost her brother, a triplet brother, how can she think about how I’m feeling. “Oh, don’t worry about me, Kate. I’m fine,” I answer automatically.
She shakes her head and gives me a sad smile. “You’re forgetting I can feel you through the pack bond’s. You are not fine.”
“I just had to live through last night five times. It turns out, it hurts more every time. You’d think it would get easier but seeing that light in his eyes fade, feeling his mouth go slack beneath mine, it…” I stop myself mid-sentence, realising it’s her brother I’m talking about. “I’m sorry,” I say shaking my head in disbelief at the things I had just told to her.
Kate takes my hand in hers. “No, it’s ok. I’m glad you were with him, it means he didn’t die alone. What were his last words?”
‘I love you… didn’t… want you…hurt.’ His last words run through my mind and I know there and then, I can’t tell her
them. I could never tell her his last words wee for me and not her. “Tell Kate I love her.”
“Don’t lie to me,” she demands, as a sad look crosses her face. “He told you he loved you didn’t he?”
I nod as guilt from the lie surges through me. “Yes.”
“Dave told me what he said to you. About your Mother… About you breaking Nate’s heart for real.” She squeezes my hand n hers. “He’s wrong. He never saw Nate around you. I did. Nate loved you and it was nothing like the crush he had on your mother, it was love. That’s how I know what his last words were. If he thought it was the end, he’ll have wanted you to know.” She stares in my eyes for a moment. It’s as if she’s deciding whether to add something or not. “Nate told me about his theory… About you and Jesse. Having seen you and Jesse together, I think he is right. That didn’t stop him loving you, though. Nate chose to go and protect you, even though he knew the danger he’d be putting himself in. I don’t blame you, Frankie, so please don’t blame yourself.”
I give her a grateful smile, trying to convey how thankful I am for her words. I can handle Dave blaming me. I don’t really know him, but I wouldn’t want Kate to feel that way.
“Ignore Dave. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Nate and Dave hadn’t spoken for years, so he feels guilty about that. It’s easier for him to blame you than face his own guilt,” she says, before twisting and pulling me into a hug. She pulls away holding me at arms length. “He’s always been the jerk of the three of us,” she states making us both giggle.
Jesse’s office door opens and Sergeant Sanchez walks out, his eyes widen in surprise as they fall on the pair of us sat in the oncoming dark. “Ms Rossi, I’m glad I caught you.” My heart sinks at his words thinking he’s thought of more questions to ask me. “I just had a call from the forensic team. They’ve got everything they need, so you’re free to go back to your apartment,” he says, before leaving the room, no doubt in search of the young constable he’d come with.
I don’t ever want to go back to that apartment. The words run through my head and decide then and there, first thing in the morning I’ll call a cleaning crew and tell the landlord I’d like to break the lease. I don’t care how much he charges me. I suddenly feel a whole lot lighter with a decision about my future made. My stomach suddenly lets out a loud growl, causing both Kate and I to burst out laughing. Her stomach follows suit letting out it’s own little growl.
“Is someone hungry in here?” Kelly asks from the archway. My eyes flick in his direction. “You’d better get yourselves in the kitchen before Carter finds your plates.”
Not needing to be told twice, I dart straight into the kitchen leaving Kate in my dust. Carter will not be eating my lunch. I come to a holt in an empty kitchen that smells of the most delicious food. I open the oven and find two plates piled high with roast beef, vegetables, and mashed potato, all drowned in gravy. I hear Kelly and Kate enter behind me and praise Kelly as I pull out our plates. “This looks and smells amazing.”
“Of course it does. I cooked it,” Kelly says, unabashed, blowing his own trumpet as always. It’s not like anyone can argue with him, after all, he is a fabulous chef.
Kate and myself laugh. “If your head gets any bigger Kelly, you will be forever trapped in the kitchen,” Kate states, as her laugh dies down.
“Shh, I wouldn’t complain about that,” I say. The kitchen is the best place for Kelly to be.
“Frankie, what would you do if I got stuck in here? I wouldn’t be able to cook your every meal.”
I look at him with wide eyes as I place the two plates on the breakfast bar. “You would. Jesse would have a lodger.”
Kelly leaves the room, his laugh trailing away with him, as Kate and myself tuck into our meals at the breakfast bar. After cleaning our plates, we find everyone in lounge. Clarissa, Carter, Tracey, Mel, Dave, Kelly and Jesse are all lounging around on the sofa’s. I head for an empty space I spot beside Jesse, as Kate squeezes between Dave and Kelly. Jesse places his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close into his side as I sink into the sofa.
“How are you doing, Sweetheart?” he asks quietly in my ear as the others converse between themselves. Before I can answer he flashes me a knowing smile. “Don’t be telling me you are fine because I know you’re not. I want to know what’s worrying you?”
Resting my head against his shoulder, I look out into the darkness, remembering the smell of the forest I know to be there. “Detective Sanchez told me they’ve finished at my apartment.”
“And you want to go back there?” he asks giving my shoulders a comforting squeeze.
My heart jumps into my throat at the thought of going back. “No. I don’t want to go back there… Ever. But that’s not what’s worrying me.” I glance up at him and his reassuring smile spurs me on. “What if they find something that proves Danny never left? They’ll put it all on me, even Nate and Gareth. I’ll go to jail and both you and Big Mac will be in trouble for lying about seeing him leave.”
He pulls me tighter to his body. “I bagged all his remains up. They’re in the shed and they’ll be getting cremated later. Nobody is going to jail. I promise you that.”
“Thank you.” I stretch up and place a gentle kiss on his lips. My wolf wants more, her energy flares towards him, before I manage to rein her in we have an audience. “You’re a good Alpha, Jesse,” I tell him, resting my head on his shoulder once more.
“If he’s such a good Alpha, how come we’ve lost three pack members with in the as many months?” Dave says bitterly. Clarissa gasps in astonishment as everyone else in the room seems to hold their breath.
“Dave!” Kate admonishes him. “None of it is Jesse’s fault.”
I flick my eyes around the room to see that everyones eyes seem to glued to Dave. I can feel the tension in Jesse’s body as I sit against his side, his arm a solid weight around my shoulders.
“Really? Another Alpha killed Joey, and Jesse still hasn’t retaliated,” Dave states as he glares at Jesse.
“Rick lost men at our hands that day, too,” Jesse interjects gently. Too gently. The tension is body doesn’t match the gentle tone of his words, making me suspect if Dave doesn’t drop it, Jesse may just explode.
Dave laughs harshly. “Why was Rick in your territory again? Oh yeah, trying to kidnap Frankie because she’s an Omega and isn’t moon called. Looks like she’s more trouble than she’s worth, if you ask me. I say we should throw her to the wolves.”
Jesse’s anger as it whips each and everyone of us, before hitting Dave with the full force. Dave’s energy flares back towards Jesse, causing a number of gasps from the pack members in the room. Jesse stops it with his own power, throwing it back at Dave before it could contents with him. Dave flinches at the pain of his own power. “Don’t forget who is Alpha here. If you want to challenge me for the role, go about it the proper way but be prepared for a losing battle.”
Dave glares at Jesse, causing Kate to touch his forearm in a warning. It pulls him out of his anger and he lowers his eyes in submission.
Jesse rises and leaves the room in silence, closing the kitchen door behind himself.
“Who want’s a brew?” Kelly breaks the silence with an offer of tea and coffee. Everyone gratefully takes him up on his offer and conversation’s commence as though the power play had never happened.
Kelly passes me and I stand, making him an offer. “I’ll give you a hand.” I’m not really bothered about helping Kelly, I know he can easily make half a dozen coffee’s without help. But the offer gives me an excuse to leave the room and find Jesse without every knowing what I’m up to. I don’t like the way he feels through the pack bonds. Guilt. Anger. Sadness.
“Thanks, Darlin’,” Kelly says as I follow him out the room. “I heard him go upstairs. Take care of him. Alpha’s are always looking after their people. An Alpha needs someone to look after them, once in a while,” he whispers in my ear once the door closes behind us.
I turn and
head for this stairs, calling over my shoulder. “I will.” Knowing he’ll be in his room, that’s exactly where I head. I remember which room it is from the night Tracey cracked me over my head with a JD bottle. I have no idea what I’ll do once I get there though.
The door is suddenly right in front of me, before I’m ready for it. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I give a sharp knock on the door. Receiving no answer I turn the door and peer into the empty room. It doesn’t look any different how it looked a few nights ago. “Jesse?” I call into the room. Getting no reply I raise my voice. “Jesse, are you in here?”
The bathroom door opens and Jesse steps out with a towel around his waist and water dripping down his shoulders. As his eyes connect with mine in the doorway, the surprise written in their width tells me he can’t have heard me over the shower. “Frankie? Is… everything okay?” he asks before looking down at himself, obviously realising he’s only wearing a towel.
I feel my face blush as I follow his gaze, taking in the appetising sight before me. I quickly avert my eyes, they land on the bed which causes my face to blaze even more. “I’m sorry. I knocked and you didn’t answer. I wanted to make sure you were okay? I can see you are so I’ll leave you to it.” I state, turning to leave.
Jesse’s hand falls on my shoulder before I can take a step. “Stay… Please.” His pleading makes him sound so vulnerable, causing me to turn. “I thought the shower would calm me down.” Feeling through the pack bonds I can tall he’s anything but calm. No doubt feeling me tugging on the bond between us, he opens himself up to me and me alone.
I stumble on the spot as I’m flooded with emotions. Love. Guilt. Shame. Anger. Sadness. Loneliness. Oh, this man who gives himself to a whole pack of werewolves is so, lonely. Tears well in my eye’s as Kelly’s words run through my mind, ‘An Alpha needs someone to look after them, once in a while,’. The amazing alpha before me is in need of someone. He’s been alone for too long. Seeing the tears in my eyes he closes himself up enough so that I’m not overwhelmed by his feelings.
Releasing the Wolf (The Rossi Pack Book 1) Page 22
