She found a small place to secrete herself, in a crevice under a rocky overhang. A snarled tangle of branches and twisted trees hid the crevice.
Two birds flew off a branch as she rushed by them. Their shrill cries sounded loud to her ears.
She strove to quell her panting breaths. Falcon must not hear her. She knew him well now; she and Chokecherry had been so certain that their footprints could not be seen, yet he had tracked them. And Star had thought to escape him by swimming swiftly away. Yet still he followed her. She must not be lulled into thinking he would give up easily.
She put a hand to her pounding chest. And where is Chokecherry?
Fear for her friend made Star's heart pound faster. Chokecherry had always been a poor swimmer; even as a child, she had preferred to stay on the riverbank and poke at roots and catch frogs rather than join the other children frolicking in the water.
The sound of breaking branches told Star that Falcon was close by. She held her breath, listening to his footfalls. She wanted to scream her despair when he walked up to the crevice and reached down for her. She shrank back, trying to hide further under the overhang.
"Come out, Star." His voice sounded wearyand something else. Relieved?
He gripped her arm and tugged. Star slowly crawled out from under the crevice. She ignored the relief that thrilled through her at his touch.
Without a word, he marched her through the thicket, back toward the river. He ignored the slapping branches, but Star could not. She felt their occasional sting.
When at last they reached the entrance of the ravine, he pushed her ahead of him. She stumbled and almost fell on the grass but he caught her and righted her.
"Let me go!" She jerked her arm from his grip.
They stood there, face-to-face, both naked, he wearing only a single knife on his belt.
Star crossed her arms over her breasts and glared at him. He grinned at her. For a moment her breath all but ceased as she gazed up into his handsome dark features. His dripping wet
hair was slicked back, his broad chest lifting and falling with each breath.
"You fooled me," he said.
She frowned. He spoke as though it were a game they played. "I tried to," she snapped.
He put his arms around her then and kissed her. The kiss was so sweet, Star wanted to close her eyes and kiss him for a long, long time. When at last she opened her eyes, he was smiling down at her, his brown eyes warm. She shrugged off the strange lethargy she felt and pulled back from him. "Where is Chokecherry?"
He pointed. Star craned to see what he pointed at. Alongside the bank ran Cat Lurks. Far across the river, she saw a thin brown flash. A woman!
"Chokecherry!"
He nodded. "Hurrying back to her people."
"As I should be," she said, observing her friend run. A yearning to go home to her Badger People swept through Star. "I should be with her!"
"You are with me."
She spun to stare at him. "Not by choice."
He shrugged, not at all bothered by her irritation.
After a time, Star asked, "Will she be safe?"
"She has a knife. She will find her people."
"I should be with her," murmured Star, but secretly she felt relieved she was not. The man standing so close to her had a power over her that she did not understand.
He frowned at her. "I did not expect you to flee."
She laughed. "You think I must stay with you, Jaguar? At your whim? I wanted to flee you."
Her conscience pricked her at these words. "II wanted to return to my Badger People!"
He glared at her, his face becoming distant and stony before her eyes. "Your place is with me now, woman. Accept it."
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!" She glowered at him.
He glowered back.
"I will escape you at every opportunity!"
He gripped her upper arms. "You will not! You will stay with me. You will not run away again!"
"What can you do to stop me?" she taunted. A frisson of fear went through her that she dared bait him like this; she felt like a hunter teasing an angry bear. But she could not help herself.
He dragged her to him and kissed her brutally on the lips. She pushed at his chest, struggled in his grip. When at last he let her go, they were both breathing heavily. "That!" he snarled. "That is what I can do!"
Her hand flew to her bruised mouth. "That will not keep me from running away!" she screamed in anger.
He grabbed her again and she fought against him. They fell to the grass. His weight on top of her was crushing.
He was kissing her again. She moved her head from side to side to stop his lips from seeking hers. But he held her head still and kissed her, plunging his tongue into her mouth.
Her eyes widened at this blatant invasion and she tried to buck him off. She could not move him.
He growled and kissed her again.
She pushed at his shoulders, trying to get him off, but he let his weight fall against her and her arms buckled. She kicked out at him, but he laid his legs over hers, effectively stilling them.
She pounded his back with her fists. He grabbed them in one hand and held them over her head.
She felt something warm and hard against her thigh. Knowing what it was, she arched her body, trying to move away. He laughed and pulled her closer. Soon she felt him nudging against her very core.
She struggled harder, but he entered her in one swift stroke. She felt helpless and excited as he took her, thrusting strongly inside her. A yielding lethargy overcame her and she could no longer fight him. Instead, she joined with him in the movements and they clutched each other. Their joy blossomed together; his power crushed her, hers caressed him. Panting, spent, they lay there.
At last he lifted his head. "I can do that," he growled, "to keep you."
She met his triumphant gaze. "You can," she agreed happily.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Star watched as Falcon pulled the elk hide off the wooden tent frame that had been their home for a short time. I feel sad to be leaving this place, she thought in astonishment. She glanced over at the stream. Behind the aspens and cottonwoods, she glimpsed Sageflower and Pine Woman filling water bladders for the impending journey.
Half of the Jaguar People had already left, following the lead of Old Antelope. They had decided to winter farther back in the hills at the shores of Fish Lake, where the waters teemed with fish. They would meet up again in spring with Claw's people.
Star did not know any of the Jaguars who followed Old Antelope. They seemed to be closely related families and were not given to socializing with others.
She thought it good that the Jaguars had reduced their numbers this way. It would be easier to feed fewer people through the winter.
''How long will it take us to reach the Bear Caves?" she asked Falcon.
"Eight sleeps." He placed the painted elk hide on the ground, skin side up. Then he placed the possessions they were taking with them in the middle of it.
"It is far then?"
He shook his head. "Not so far. It takes some time to get there because we are carrying so many things."
A black mortar bowl and black pestle, several chunks of black obsidian, and a sleeping mat, folded, were in the center of the hide. Star already had her biggest basket crammed full with bone awls, scrapers, porcupine quills for decorating, dried meat, her wedding dress and moccasins, a wooden comb that Falcon had made for her, and her smallest basket full of dried berries. She had two medium-size baskets full of dried camas roots and wapatoo roots.
"I will go to the river and fill the water bladders," she said.
He nodded and held up one of his spears to examine the blade. She noticed that Falcon was careful to keep his weapons in good repair.
On their journey, he would carry the full water bladders over his shoulders so his hands would be free to carry his spears. The men were ever on the alert for predatory animals.
&nbs
p; Star would carry the burden of baskets and the folded-up elk hide.
As she wandered down to the river, Star thought about the time she had spent at this camping spot. It had been where she first lived with Falcon, and it held special memories for her because of that.
The wild sound of honking geese caused her to glance up. Geese flew low overhead. Her gaze followed them until they were tiny dots in the clouded sky. They were on a journey to their winter grounds, too.
A chill breeze ruffled Star's hair. She shivered, glad suddenly of the warm bison cloak she wore. Falcon had killed the bison after it had become separated from its herd and wandered, lost, in the forest.
She wondered if Blue Jay had such a warm cloak for the winter and if Chokecherry had managed to return to the Badger People. Star sighed sadly. She would never know what had happened to her mother or her friend.
A few yellow leaves flickered at her on the cottonwood and aspen trees that grew near the river, but most of the leaves had fallen off the trees and their naked branches were another reminder of the coming winter.
Star filled both water bladders. She stepped back from the water and turned, only to halt. Tula blocked her path. Her son slept in the blanket tied to her back.
"It is too bad only your friend escaped and you were left behind." Tula tossed her head, her white hair as dramatic as ever.
Star had not spoken to her since her own recapture. She shrugged. She enjoyed Falcon, so she was not going to protest too hard against his bringing her back.
"When will you try again?" Tula's face held such hope that Star wanted to laugh.
"I will not," she answered, to annoy Tula.
Tula's lovely face contorted into a glower. "You must!" she hissed. "How else will you get home to your people?"
"I will visit them when I wish to." Truly, Star did not know when that would be, or even if it would be, but she was not going to admit that to Tula.
"Ha. That man will never take you to visit them."
Star knew she meant Falcon and she thought that probably Tula was correct. Ah, but it would be so good to see her mother... .
Tula's eyes narrowed. "Are you pregnant?"
Star was taken aback and could not answer.
"If you are, I think you should leave swiftly. He will not love your child. He will not love you."
They both knew who he was.
"And no one in this camp likes you," continued Tula. "They all think you are ugly. Why you stay here is beyond what I will ever know. Why do you not just leave?"
Star flushed as though struck by a cruel hand. Tula's words hurt. "I do not believe you," she answered at last. "I have many friends here. Pine Woman, Elk Knees, Sageflower"
"Pah!" Tula waved a hand as though swatting away a fly. "They are as the dry dust on the hillside. Badger dog-girls, all of them! No, it is the real people I am talking about. The Jaguars. That is who I speak of. None of them like you."
Star smiled menacingly. "Falcon likes me."
Tula went pale. She gritted her teeth. "He does not!"
"Oh, yes, he does. He likes me. Very much."
Tula stuck her chin in the air. "I care nothing for what you say. You know nothing."
"Oh, I know a few things," answered Star. She studied the graceful, delicate woman in front of her. "I know," she said slowly, "that you still love him.''
Furious anger leapt into Tula's wide brown eyes. "I hate him. I would grind him to dust in my mortar and pestle. I would scrape his hide with my scrapers. I would pour him out as though he were dirty water. I would burn him like camel dung at my fire! I hate him, I tell you!"
Star had been in the Jaguar camp long enough to overhear some of the people talking. "I do not see why you are so upset, Tula," she ventured. "It was Falcon who lost so much. You have another husband, another baby. It was he who was left alone. He whom the Jaguar People whisper about behind their hands."
Tula sneered. "That is as it should be. After what he did to me, he should be left alone. He should have no one to love him!"
Star's eyes widened as she heard why the woman was so anxious to drive her away. Tula wanted to punish Falcon.
"What did he do?" Star demanded.
Tula's mouth tightened. "I do not know why I am talking to a dog-girl such as you. You have nothing to"
"What did he do?"
"Yes, Tula, what did I do?"
Star jumped at the sound of Falcon's voice. He had come upon them on silent, hunter's feet. He stood on the trail, arms crossed against his broad chest, feet planted on the path, blocking both women.
Tula glared at him. "You know what you did! It is all your fault that Hawk was born as he was! All your fault that he did not grow properly! It is all because of you!"
Falcon shook his head. "I had nothing to do with it."
"You killed the bear!"
"Your father's animal, I know," he said wearily. "But that did not cause Hawk to"
"It did!" she shrieked. "It did! You hated him. His spirit knew it and ran away. That is why his body refused to grow!"
"Tula, Tula," said Falcon, taking a step closer to the enraged woman and holding out a hand to her. Her baby started to cry softly.
"Do not touch me," she screamed. "You will hurt me. You will hurt my baby!"
"I do not want to hurt you or your baby," he answered.
"You do! You hate us, just as you hated Hawk!"
Falcon's brow darkened. "I did not hate Hawk!" he snarled.
"You did! I saw your face when you looked at him! Hawk would have been a fine baby but for you!"
"Hawk would never have been well," Falcon protested.
"He would have! The shaman said"
"The shaman was wrong!" Falcon roared. "He
made false promises that Hawk would be a great teacher and healer."
"Hawk would have been! He would have! The shaman knew"
"The shaman knew nothing!"
"He gave me hope!" cried Tula. "He told me that our son would heal and teach" Suddenly she bowed her head and started to cry.
Star stared at the agonized look on Falcon's face. He loves her, she thought. He still loves her and wants her. Oh, what am I doing here?
Tula's sobs ripped through the silence surrounding them. "II loved him," she gasped. "That was more than you did!"
"I loved him, too," said Falcon, and his voice broke.
Tula shook her head. "No. No, you did not. You only say that. It is a lie you tell yourself!"
"Not as big a lie as the ones you told yourself," he answered coldly. "You lied to yourself every day when you said he would get better, that he would grow into a whole man. You saw him, day after day, you touched his withered legs, you looked into his eyes that showed no understanding... . And then you lied to yourselfand to me."
Tula's bent head bowed under the blows of his words. "I loved him," she cried. And in that cry, Star heard a mother's howl of pain and love. Tears rose in her eyes for Tula and the terrible loss of her firstborn son. Slowly, carefully, Star reached out a finger and stroked Tula's white streak of hair.
Tula jerked her head up and her flashing brown
eyes met Star's. "What are you doing? I want nothing from you, Badger woman! I do not need your pity!" And stuffing her fist in her mouth to stem the sobs, she staggered away up the path.
Star and Falcon watched her go. Falcon let out a breath. "Come," he said. "It is time to go."
"But, but Falcon ..." Star wanted to talk about what had just happened.
He took her arm and led her along the path. Star tried to push his hand off her arm. "II see now some of Tula's pain... ."
"Tula and her pain are none of your concern. Or mine."
His grip was firm as he pulled her along.
"But Falcon, do you not see that she"
"I see nothing!" he growled. "This does not concern you and I will not talk about it!"
Star halted in the middle of the path and refused to take another step. "Falcon. You brought me here. You ma
rried me. I am part of this, whether I want to be or not."
"I should have left you with your mother," he snarled.
"You should have," she agreed. Hurt by his words, she wanted to hurt him back. "Then you could live your lonely life. No one would speak to you and you could go your silent way. Except for the occasional yell at Tula, of course."
His white scar was ticking; his jaws clenched. "You are quick to believe her words, Badger woman."
"Does she lie?"
He was silent, regarding her, his black eyes burning with a heat she could not understand.
"Does she lie, Falcon?"
Still he would not answer.
"Does she lie? I would know."
"Tula says many things," he answered at last. "But to my knowledge, no, she does not lie."
"Then you did not love your son."
She did not understand the sadness she saw in his black eyes.
"Believe what you will, Badger woman."
She stared at him, willing him to tell her more.
But he only took her arm. "Come. We leave now on our journey to the Bear Caves."
Star stumbled after him, lugging the dripping water bladders. But her heart was uneasy at what had passed. There was a new distance between them now, something that had not been there before, and she did not know what to do about it.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Star trudged along, her heavily laden baskets hooked through a leather strap that looped around her forehead. The baskets dangled down her back and hit her hips with every step. Her arm muscles ached from carrying the folded elk-hide tent. Her nose hurt from breathing in the musty smell of the hide. For ten sleeps, not the eight Falcon had predicted, she had carried her burden of baskets and tent hide. She was exceedingly tired of the journey to the Bear Caves.
But in the voices of the Jaguar People around her, she heard little cries of excitement and her spirits lifted. Pine Woman staggered by, her face hidden by the armload of possessions she carried. "My husband says we are close to the Bear Caves!" she cried as she tottered along. Star hoped she was correct; perhaps this would be the last day of the long trek to the caves. She quickened her faltering steps.
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