But the Darkstar shone brightly and he found he could not tear his eyes away. Where are you, Star? his heart cried out, and it was then that he knew that before him lay his biggest grief of all: mourning the loss of Star and their babe. For that was surely what the Great Spirit was telling him in his aimless wanderings: he should prepare himself for their loss. And yet he remembered the little dark-eyed daughter of his vision, and some part of him still hoped.
The next morning when he rose, he decided he had enough obsidian rock for spear points and knives. It was time to move on and continue his search for Star.
He had been weak from his time in the cave but now he was strong again. On hopeful days, when he believed he would find Star, he wondered if he should ask her to come back to him. On discouraged days, he thought he would search for her until he could but see her, nothing more. Yet always, his heart longed for her.
Sometimes he wondered if she had had the babe ... strange how he could not remember when the babe was due.
Whenever he thought of Star, hope always got mixed in with sorrow. I will go and see her, he thought as he followed a deer trail down into an oak tree-filled ravine. Then I can see if there is any hope for us or if I must let her go.
Guilt pierced him then. He had thrown her away. He had wanted to throw her away. Of course she would go on and make a life for herself, one without him. Of what use was it for him to hope?
And yet he did. It was there, nourished by his vision of the saber-tooth angel. Hope was a tiny flare that sparked in his chest.
Chapter Fifty-four
Late Fall
Star sorted serviceberries into three baskets on the grass near the tent she and her mother shared. The Badger People had moved to this place only two days ago and there were still berries in the area. She had filled two huge baskets. She was most pleased; serviceberries tasted good and could be added to deer meat or dried and pounded into loaves. They were a most tasty and useful fruit.
Her mother, Blue Jay, sat beside her and hummed happily as she sliced through a hind-quarter of fat antelope. Camel Stalker had killed the animal and given the haunch to them. A gift, he had said, but his eyes had lingered on Star and she knew the time was coming when she must decide if she would marry him or not.
"Camel Stalker is very generous to widows," said Blue Jay, looking up from the antelope and fixing Star with a glare. "And to unmarried pregnant women who take a long time to make up their minds."
Star winced.
"He is kind to old people, too," continued Blue Jay, returning to her job of slicing the meat. "He would doubtless be kind to little babies." She stopped her work to stare at Star's huge belly.
"Mmmm," Star murmured. She did not actually want to have to tell him yes or no. She knew her mother wanted her to accept Camel Stalker's joining offer, but Star was reluctant to do so. Yet what else could she do? She needed a man to help her survive in these harsh times.
She must not wait much longer to tell him her answer, whatever it would be. He had already brought them meat for three moons. He deserved an answer soon.
"It would be foolish for a woman not to marry him," said Blue Jay.
"Mmmm." The trouble was, how could Star forget a man like Falcon? To marry Camel Stalker would be wrong if her heart were still with Falcon. Which it was, she admitted sadly to herself.
"Especially a woman who is pregnant, and whose old mother cannot hunt. Who else is there in this camp for you to marry anyway? Tell me that!"
"Mmmm."
"Star! Listen to what I tell you," muttered her mother.
"Mmmm."
''Do what I tell you."
"No, Mother."
Blue Jay gave a wry chuckle. "Ha. You were listening after all! I would have told you to marry him."
"I know."
They laughed.
Blue Jay added, "Truly, daughter, I must tell you I want a happy life for you."
"I know you do, Mother."
"I worry about you. Who will hunt for you? I will not always be here for you. I will die someday."
"Please, do not say"
"It is true. And who will take care of you and your child? I cannot do it, even if I am here. Oh, I can dig roots and pick berries, but you need a husband to hunt for you. A husband to be your companion. You need a husband now, more than you need a mother." Her voice was sad.
"I already had a husband, Mother," answered Star. "I like you better." She chuckled.
Blue Jay just shook her head.
Blue Jay had invited Camel Stalker to join them for the evening meal. Star thought she could not protest the invitation since he had provided the meat.
Camel Stalker was quiet through the meal, though Star caught him watching her several times when he thought she was not looking. Once she surprised an angry look upon his face.
What does he have to be angry about? she wondered.
They had just finished eating the delicious antelope meat when Blue Jay jumped up, antelope scraps falling from her lap. One of the camp dogs ran off with a bone.
"Who is that?"
Star blinked twice as the tall stranger strode into the Badger camp. He carried a spear and he was naked to his waist. Leather trousers covered his long legs. His feet were bare. Long black hair fluttered past his shoulders.
She gasped and her hand went to her breast and she stood up. Why, hehe looked like Falcon. But surely it could not be he! He had left her; she had no expectation that he would return. And yet
Tattooed on his shoulder was a black falcon in flight.
"Falcon!" she cried and ran toward him.
He swerved in her direction and she halted. Her hand went to her mouth to stifle her cry, but it was too late.
"Star?" He slowed when he saw her, then stopped. "Is that you?"
She flushed, but she would not let her embarrassment chase her away from her own camp. She knew she did not look as she had when he had first known her, but what did he expect? When a woman was pregnant and due to have the baby at any time, she looked like this!
"It is I," she answered, mustering as much dignity as she could.
Camel Stalker stood behind her. "What do you want?"
Falcon came closer. She saw his handsome face, and she wanted to run to him. Her traitorous heart would have her go with him again! All he had to do was ask her.
What is wrong with me? she wondered miserably. This man has but to look at me and I follow him. Is it not enough that he left mepregnant and alone? What does it take for me to realize that he is not good for me?
Camel Stalker stepped in front of her in a protective gesture. For the first time since he had returned to the Badger camp, Star felt grateful to him.
Falcon halted. "Who is this man?" he asked Star.
"I am Camel Stalker. Who are you?" Camel Stalker's jaw stuck out and his arms were folded across his chest. He looked grim. But then he had looked grim ever since his return from the Fish Eaters, Star reminded herself.
Just then the babe inside her kicked. The babe knows his father, thought Star.
Blue Jay ran up. "It is the Jaguar man." She stamped the grass several times, and then she spat. It was a very insulting Badger greeting.
"Star's Jaguar husband?" demanded Camel Stalker.
"The same." Contempt threaded Blue Jay's voice. "What do you want?"
Falcon's eyes were fixed on Star. "I came to see Star."
"You see that she is fine. Go home." Blue Jay stood next to Camel Stalker, her bulk blocking Star's view of Falcon.
Star shifted a little to the side, in time to catch
Falcon's easy smile. Her heartbeat quickened.
Falcon glanced around at the Badger tents set out in the grass. "A pleasant place to camp," he observed politely.
Camel Stalker said, "Go home, Jaguar. You are not wanted here."
"Who are you?" asked Falcon. "Star's husband?"
Star met his eyes as he waited for her answer. When she could no longer meet that bold, direct gaze, she forc
ed herself to stare at Camel Stalker's broad back.
"So. She is not your wife."
Camel Stalker stiffened. "I provide meat for her."
"I thank you then," said Falcon with a nod.
"You thank me?" screeched Camel Stalker. He dropped his arms and glared at Falcon. "You thank me?"
"What are you saying?" cried Blue Jay.
"I thank you for caring for my wife while I was gone, but I am back now and I will provide meat for her." Falcon watched Camel Stalker out of cold, grim eyes.
Star's heart pounded in alarm. What was Falcon talking about? He had brought her back to her people. There was never any talk of his returning to see her. What did he mean, he would provide meat for her?
"You cannot just come and take her back," protested Blue Jay. "She is not like a carcass of deer meat you Jaguars stash in a tree and return to whenever there is nothing else to eat."
Star gazed at her mother's rigid back. The woman was correct. She stood a little straighter.
"Let Star speak for herself," demanded Falcon.
Camel Stalker whirled on her. "Choose," he said. "Choose if you will marry me! Or do you join again with the man who left you alone and pregnant?"
Sweat stood on Star's brow. Her fists clenched and unclenched. What should she do?
Chapter Fifty-five
"I choose neither of you!"
"Neither?" exclaimed Camel Stalker. He looked pale.
"You have to choose," demanded Falcon. He looked stunned.
"You do," affirmed Blue Jay. She looked exasperated.
"I do not." Star crossed her arms on her breasts above her belly and peered at all three gaping fools. Her heart pounded but she would not be forced into making such an important decision at their behest. She must decide for herself who she would marry or if she would marry at all. And if it took her 20 seasons to decide, then so be it!
She would choose what was best for herself and her babe.
"Star, we must speak. Now!" demanded Blue Jay.
Camel Stalker leaned closer to hear.
"In our tent," stated Blue Jay.
She hurried Star away from the two men and in the direction of their tent. Behind her, Star could hear a heated, angry exchange of deep voices, but her mother kept her moving toward the tent.
They reached it and ducked inside. "Listen to me, daughter," said Blue Jay. "You now have two men wanting to marry you and you big with child! Never in my days have I heard of such a thing! Choose one and be done with it. Such good fortune will not come our way again!"
"Mother," said Star quietly, "I was married to Falcon. I do not know why he is here, or what he wants. As for Camel Stalker, yes, he is a good hunter and yes, he wants to join with me, but I do not love him."
She saw the disappointment in her mother's dark eyes. "I know you wish otherwise, but I cannot join with either man."
A shadow crossed her mother's lined face. "Star, I worry for you, for the babe. Who will look after you when I am gone?"
"I will look after myself. I have the Badger People... ."
Her mother waved a dismissive hand. "Pah! Badger hunters will only provide meat for you after their own children and wives are fed"
Star gazed down at the pounded dirt floor of the tent. It was true. What should she do?
"Mother, I cannot go out there and choose one of those men! I do not know why Falcon is here.
And I know even less about Camel Stalker. Since he returned, he is a changed man."
Her mother frowned. "He does seem a little different... ."
"Very different, Mother. He is not the young man who first courted me. He is older, grimmer."
"Oh, come now, daughter. Not grimmer."
"Grimmer," said Star.
"Well," sighed her mother, "at least you do not want that Jaguar man!" She peered out of the tent. "Let us go and tell him to go home. You do not have to marry Camel Stalker yet. Take more time if you like. But let us get rid of that Falcon. I cannot stand the sight of him! When I think of what he did to youdropping you off here like an old deer carcass, and you big with child''
"Mother!"
"Forgive me, daughter, it is just that I do not like the man."
Star sighed. She could feel her little one kicking. The babe knows, she thought again. Knows his father is here ...
They left the tent.
"Star has something to say," announced Blue Jay.
Falcon watched her, leaning on his spear. Camel Stalker waited, arms across his chest.
"II" Star began. She caught Falcon's earnest gaze. "I want you to leave," she said to him.
Camel Stalker smiled in triumph at Falcon. "You heard her. Get out."
Star turned to Camel Stalker. "I need some
time before deciding to join with you."
Camel Stalker shrugged amiably. "Do not take too long... ." He eyed her belly. "Perhaps after the babe is born you will be able to decide."
Star smiled tremulously at him. She appreciated this glimmer of understanding from him.
"Do you truly want me to leave, Star?"
Falcon's voice drew her like nectar does a bee. She turned to him. "Yes," she whispered.
Falcon was confused. He had seen his little daughter in his vision, the child that Star carried. He had thought that meant he was supposed to be Star's husband. And now she was choosing this Badger man over him, the father of her child? What did this mean?
He did not want to go. He had wandered for a long, long time, trying to find her. Now that he had found her, he could not be turned away. He could not!
"She wants you to leave, Jaguar man," said Camel Stalker. He strode over and stood chest to chest with Falcon and glared at him.
I do not relish the thought of fighting this man, thought Falcon. He looks as if he would fight to the death. Yet I will fight him if I have to. Suddenly he remembered where he had seen this man before. He was Star's intended Badger husband, the one that had been captured by the slave catchers. His time in slavery has made him harsh. Aloud he said, "I heard her."
He shifted his gaze to Star. She looked strong and proud, her thick hair draped down her back as she stood watching him. He longed to plunge his hands into her hair, to hold her to him, to never let her go. Yet she stood waiting, waiting for him to leave herto walk out of her life forever.
"Leave us," Camel Stalker warned. "She has chosen."
Chapter Fifty-six
Falcon wandered slowly beside the riverbank. He listened to the birds twittering as he wondered what to do. Some distance back, the way he had come, was the Badger camp. And Star.
Though he had left the Badger camp, he had not gone far at first. During the night, he had crept back to where Star's tent was set. If only he could get her to talk with him. But who should be lying in front of the tent but Camel Stalker, his spear beside him, guarding Star.
Falcon had left the camp then and followed the riverbank that meandered to the south and west. Across the river on the other side rose high cliffs, but on this side, where he walked, there was flatland and low brush. This had once been a wide riverbed, but now the river was not as wide, though it was still deeper than a tall man standing on his brother's shoulders. And it ran swiftly, too. The remains of the old riverbank could be seen as thick cliffs that rose up in rocky brown layers behind Falcon.
As he walked, he mused upon how he was going to meet Star and convince her that he wanted her back.
No idea presented itself and he decided to take a nap. He rounded a bend in the river's course and spied a tree in a thicket of brush. Any man who slept in the open was risking his life to lions and jaguars and any other predators that came to drink.
He settled himself in the thicket and fell asleep. When he awoke he yawned, and was just about to rise when he heard a muffled grunt and then a sharp cry. Slowly he moved his head and peered through the leaves of the thicket.
Around the bend, coming toward him, marched two men and a womana very pregnant woman. With long black hair
.
Falcon sat up, careful not to disturb the interlacing branches and give away his position.
He watched as the men came closer. They were practically dragging the woman; she made no effort to walk.
As the heavyset men came closer, Falcon held his breath. Slave catchers! It was Hooknose and Red Jaw, the two deceitful slave catchers he had last seen at Claw's and Betafor's cave!
"What?" he muttered. He picked up his spear and eased out of the thicket.
The three had not seen him. The burly men stopped at the water and waded in. Hooknose took several big gulps; then Red Jaw did the same. They ignored the woman they had left on the gravel beach.
Falcon could not take his eyes off her. She sat on the bank, her head drooping wearily. Star!
He crept out of the thicket and ran to where the three were. The men were looking across the water at the cliffs on the other side, and the woman's head still drooped.
Falcon ran up and speared Hooknose through the lower back. He fell into the water, and Falcon gave him a push out into deeper water where the current was stronger. Hooknose began to thrash weakly and float away, facedown.
Falcon whirled to fight Red Jaw. The two grappled in the shallows, Red Jaw howling in protest as they rolled over and over. Finally Falcon was able to hold Red Jaw's head down under the water. When his opponent no longer struggled, Falcon leapt to his feet. The current had carried Hooknose's body far down the river.
Falcon turned to Star. "Are you all right?"
She nodded weakly. She looked dazed.
He waded out of the water and went over to her. "Let me get you a drink of water," he said. "It will revive you."
She nodded and got to her feet, one hand supporting her belly. He led her to the water.
After several sips from his cupped hands, she said, "I do feel better."
"How did you come to be with them?" He nudged Red Jaw's body, floating in the shallows.
"They grabbed me. I was out berry picking and they came and dragged me off."
Broken Promise Page 28
