by Kim Jones
Dinner turns out to be a feast with the whole damn club. Everyone showed up and now there are men, women and children running around the house. But there was one in particular that held my interest more than the others. Maddie.
Maddie is the step daughter of a former club member who had been put out of the club with a bad name. But Maddie stole everyone’s hearts years ago and had a permanent home within the club, much like I had at her age. At seventeen, Maddie is beautiful. She is book smart and street smart with looks that have Luke working overtime to keep the boys away. She has been like a little sister to both of us, but I’d lost touch with her a few years back. She is another person in my life that I turned my back on for drugs.
“Hey Red,” she says, giving me her impression of Luke’s infamous smirk. I put my hand over my mouth, afraid of screaming my emotions. Tears stream down my face as I pull her close, telling her in that one hug how sorry I am for my absence. Her teenage years couldn’t have been easy being raised by a bunch of men. I should have been there for her, but at least she had Brooklyn.
“Maddie,” it’s the only word I can manage through my sobs.
“Stop crying and show me your studio. I wanna see it. I might want to take up a career in stripping,” she jokes, but Luke doesn’t find it very funny.
“Don’t even fucking think about it. You’re going to college. You ain’t gonna turn into pieces of shit like me and Red. You’re better than us.”
“Um, thanks Luke. Asshole.” I know what he is saying. He doesn’t see me as a piece of shit. He doesn’t see himself that way either. But, he did see us taking paths in life that we don’t want Maddie to ever go down. She is better than us.
Maddie and I take the four wheeler down to the boat house. It has become my most used form of transportation. I drive slow, letting Maddie take in all of the magnificence of the yard and lake. And because it’s thirty fucking degrees outside and we’ll freeze if we go any faster. I can’t wait for summer so we can go swimming, and have green grass and I can sunbathe naked in the front yard. Or backyard. Or six roads over. Lord knows it’s not like anyone is gonna pass by and see me.
Maddie is awestruck when I open the doors to the boathouse. Even after all this time, I’m still awestruck myself. Sometimes, I spend hours in here. I even get up in the middle of the night to ride down just to dance. Many of those times, I find Regg sitting in the one chair, watching me. He comes in silently, never notifying me that he is here. But, I always know the moment he walks through the door. I don’t have to see him. I can feel him.
“This is awesome, Red. Please dance for me,” Maddie begs, poking her lip out on a pout. Because I owe it to her, I strip down to my panties and bra and allow her to sit in Regg’s seat. I turn on the stereo, letting Eve’s Let Me Blow Ya Mind sing out through the room. When I’m finished, she gives me a standing ovation.
We spend the next hour filling each other in on our lives. She pretty much knows about mine, but I’m surprised to hear she has a boyfriend that Luke hasn’t killed yet. Later in the conversation, I find it’s because he isn’t aware of him. Luke is like our Superman. Maddie and I both depend on him so much, and he never lets us down.
It’s after ten when everyone leaves. On the way back inside, Regg notices a box sitting by the door addressed to me. that the return address says it’s from Lucy and I smile. I miss my old friend. Regg goes to take a shower while I curl up on the couch in the den to open the box. Inside, there is a letter along with five hundred dollars and a manila envelope.
Red,
I asked you nicely and you refused. Did you really think I’d let you do that? You have two days to make your decision. If you aren’t at Café Du Monde by noon on Wednesday, I’ll break the boy’s legs.
-Me
P.S. If you tell anyone about this, I’ll do more than break his legs. I’ll kill him.
My heart pounds in my chest as fear runs through my veins. Chip isn’t one to make idol threats. I know he will do what he says, just like I know what is in the envelope. I feel bile rise in my throat at the thought of Regg being hurt. I can’t do that to him. Not after everything he’s done for me. Holding my breath, I spill the contents of the envelope out on the couch. But, it’s not Regg’s face I see. It’s Todd’s.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Decisions, Lies and Contracts
I lie in bed, listening to Regg’s soft snoring in my ear. How can I leave him? I can’t risk not going. I know that Chip has the connections to follow through on his word. There is no way of escaping this without involving the club or telling Regg. Leaving is the only solution that will keep everyone safe. I can’t keep the images of Todd out of my head. Someone took a picture of him during football practice, one standing outside the school and one with who I can only guess is his girlfriend. They were at a movie theatre. The closest one is thirty miles away which tells me that whoever took these pictures has been following him.
If I tell Regg, chances are he would find Chip, eliminate him and possibly go to jail. He would probably tell the club, who would refuse to let him do this on his own. That means that he, Luke and all the others would be facing jail time too. I refuse to allow them to sacrifice their freedom for me. They have already given me so much.
I was poison. Regg and Todd were fine until I showed up. If it weren’t for me, Todd wouldn’t be in danger and Regg wouldn’t have had to deal with the shit he has for the past several months. I will have to concoct a lie to get away, and I will have to find one that will hurt the least. I close my eyes, trying to find sleep, but knowing that it won’t come. Because, there is no way I can lie to Regg. At least not in a way that it won’t hurt him.
***
“We need to talk,” I tell Regg the next morning. I only have one more day and that will be spent trying to get out of town without having anyone tailing me. There is no time to waste.
“What ya wanna talk about, babe?” His eyes are bright this morning as he stands in nothing but pajama pants leaning against the kitchen counter. He looks so beautiful barefoot and sleepy. I feel my heart twist in pain at the thought of not seeing him again. Even if I did come back, he won’t want me anymore. If I go through with this, I will be saying goodbye to all of my family.
“I’ve been doing some thinking.” I clear my throat, hoping to strengthen my words. I have to do this. “Now that I don’t have to be here, I don’t want to stay. I miss my job and I have some things I need to handle. Things I have to do on my own.” Regg keeps his face impassive as he processes my words. He walks to the coffee pot, filling another cup before resuming his position.
“Does this have anything to do with that package you got last night?” Panic fills me, but I fight hard to keep it hidden. There is no way he found it. I hid it well.
“Yes, Lucy has me a job down in Miami with her. It’s a great opportunity. They have a zero drug tolerance and we’re gonna be staying with her sister.” My words are rehearsed. I concocted the story this morning before he even woke up.
“You know, Red, if you’re in some kind of trouble you can tell me.” His words make me want to spill my guts. I trust this man to take care of me. I trust him to handle everything and keep me and his family protected. But, at what cost?
“Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart. And right now, my heart’s on a flight to Miami. I’m sorry, Regg.” I can’t meet his eyes. I don’t want to look at him in fear of what I might find.
“You really mean that?” I nod, unable to form words. I fight against the tears burning the backs of my eyes. I stand, unable to stay in a room with him any longer. I have to get out of here. I have to save Todd. Save Regg. My life will be the sacrifice and it will be worth it.
“Wait.” I pause in the doorway of the kitchen, keeping my back to him. I feel him walk up behind me; the only sound is our heavy breathing. “Please don’t do this, Red. Tell me what it is and I’ll fix it. I promise. I can take care of you.” Tears stream down my cheeks as I hear the crack in Regg’s vo
ice.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t stay.” My own voice breaks and I snap my mouth shut, afraid of what I might say.
“Look at me, Red.” His words are so demanding that I’m turning, unable to stop myself, but I still don’t meet his eyes. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.” I shake my head. That is something I could never do. “I can’t let you leave. I won’t.”
“You have to,” I say, snapping my head up and finally meeting his eyes. They are determined, and I’m prepared for the fight. “Please, Regg. Just let me walk out of your life. Please,” I beg him. If he would just agree, then I could leave without hurting him further.
“Tell me.” His body shakes nervously, anticipating my response.
“I can’t.”
“Tell me and I’ll let you go. Just say the words, Red. Break my heart and I’ll let you walk away, no questions asked.” I picture Todd winning his state championship. I envision him growing older, marrying the girl from the picture. I see Regg with someone like Taylor, smiling happily as he holds his newborn baby in his arms. Images of the club thriving, following Luke into the direction of a better life flash through my head. With this, I find the courage to stop the flow of tears and say the words I never thought I could.
“I don’t love you, Regg. I don’t think I ever did.”
It is the last time I see his face. Having packed a bag last night, I run to my car and speed down the driveway, never looking back. I cry hysterically all the way to the airport in Biloxi. Leaving my car in the garage, I take a cab to the bus station where I buy a one way ticket to New Orleans.
I don’t contact anyone-not even Luke. I will write him a letter later, apologizing and assuring him that I’m good and that he doesn’t need to worry about me. I doubt I don’t need to be worried over, though. I have no idea what Chip has in store for me or even where this business will be. I just hope like hell it isn’t in Miami. I am sure someone will be looking for me down there.
The next day, I’m at Café Du Monde by noon sharp. Seated at a table outside, I see Chip sitting alone.
“You know, that big guy two tables down looks pretty fucking obvious,” I say as a form of greeting, referring to the man that has to be his bodyguard. What a pussy.
“Red, so nice of you to join me.” His face is twisted into an evil smile and I want to throw the steaming cup of coffee in his face.
“Cut the shit, Chip. What do you want?” I’m not here to be nice. I’m here to save a life. He needs to know I’m not in any kind of mood to play his games. Reading the expression on my face, his smile fades and he gets right down to business.
“One year. That’s all I’m asking for. After that, you’ll be free to go back to your pathetic little life with Regg and the club. You’re better than biker trash, Red.” Before I can stop myself, I reach over and slap his face. While he’s still in shock, I let him have it.
“Don’t ever let his name come out of your mouth again. Don’t think for a minute that he won’t hunt you down and cut your throat. The only reason I’m here alone is because I don’t want him doing a life sentence behind bars on my conscience.” I lean back in my chair, shooting a murderous glare to the big guy who is now on his feet standing beside Chip. I wish a motherfucker would. I’ll take him out too. I’m pretty sure I had the strength to do it in this moment.
“You’ll pay for that,” he promises, waving off the guy beside him.
“What? You gonna fuck me up? Fine, because this,” I say, motioning to my face. “Is gonna make you a lot of money. If you want to damage it, by all means please do so. I’m sure the clients would love a toothless bitch to look at.”
“You still got that grit. That’s why I love you, Red.” He’s back to smiling, and I’m ready to vomit at the mention of the word love. “Like I said, one year. Here’s your contract with everything I promised.” I ignore the paperwork, unable to keep my eyes off of his. I’ve never wished looks could kill so much.
“Whatever, Chip. Where’s the club?” I’m bored with him. I’m sick of small talk. I’m ready to do my time. I getting pretty damn good at being sentenced.
“Look at the contract, Red.” Ready to move this along, I reluctantly pull the contract out, skimming it over. Just like he said, I had to promise to work for one year. My salary was for ten thousand a month plus I’d get to keep one hundred percent of my stage tips. Of course it says nothing about Todd. No lawyer would have gone for that shit. But, I’ll pull the plug on him if he even so much as mentions Todd’s name.
“You’re pretty fucking confident, don’t you think?”
“More than confident. I’ve built an empire, Red. And who better to be the face of it than you?” I roll my eyes, almost laughing at the fake license with the name ‘Mary West.’
“Really? Was this necessary?” I ask, holding it up for him to see. At least the picture of me is decent.
“I couldn’t have your friends trying to track you down.” He’s thought of it all.
“Why the hell do I even need a fake license?”
“You have to have a picture I.D. to fly, Red.”
“Where the hell are we going?” This should have been the first question I asked. His sardonic smile has me thinking that I’m not gonna like his answer.
“Vegas, baby.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
From Bad to Worse
How the hell Chip was able to afford property on the Las Vegas strip, I’ll never know. But, just across the street from the Bellagio Fountains, sits a huge building that was once home to over ten department stores. Now, it’s a strip club with a name that makes my heart ache every time I read the flashing neon sign-Devil’s. If it was only a coincidence, I wasn’t buying it.
I hadn’t even performed, but the bright screen that sits on top of the building displays my picture, my name and the words ‘Performing Nightly.’ Once again, I got my wish to be famous. To have my name in the lights. Now, I regret not wishing for a pony instead.
I spend the first week in Vegas doing photo shoots and shopping. I have a security guard with me always. I tell Chip there is no need, but he says I have to earn his trust. I tell him to suck a dick. Everyday I’m here, I’m forced to see his face. The only thing that gets me through is remembering why I’m here. Oh, and vodka. Thank God for vodka.
The second week, I meet all the staff. The girls are beautiful and I wonder why Chip hadn’t asked one of them to be the face of Devil’s. When I ask, his answer is simple, “They’re not you.” What the fuck ever. They all hate me. They know why I’m here, and I know that they’re jealous. But, what they don’t know is that I’d trade places with any of them if I could.
My third week in Vegas brings me to the night of my first performance. There isn’t enough vodka in the building to calm my nerves. I promised Regg I would only ever dance for him. In less than five minutes, I will be breaking that promise. Not that it means a whole lot now.
Tonight, my I keep my family at the forefront of my thought. Todd is my family. Regg is my family. The club is my family. They need me to do this. I always knew there would come a time when I could return the favor. When I could repay them for all they have done for me. Now is that time.
“Let’s go,” the bouncer tells me. I don’t know why he’s such an ass. I’ve yet to make any friends and I guess I can mark him off my list too. I walk backstage, drink in hand. I wait for the current song to finish and for the emcee to make the announcement. My outfit is ridiculous, consisting of a pleated skirt and a white top that ties at my breasts. I am supposed to be going for the school girl look. It really isn’t my thing. My song is Catholic School Girls Rule by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. It is fast paced and not something I chose to open with.
My name is called and I walk out. I can’t bring myself to make eye contact or smile. The song is less than three minutes long and I barely make it through. The crowd seems pleased, why, I don’t know. I looked like a total amateur. My movements didn’t even correspond with th
e song. Before I have time to put my robe on, I’m grabbed by my arm and ushered to Chip’s office- topless.
“You better be glad you got a pretty face,” he says, fuming as he stubs his cigarette out in the ashtray. Leaning over, I grab his pack and light one for myself. “I can’t have you going out there, half-assing your performance.”
“Yeah, well what if that’s all I got?” It isn’t, but he doesn’t know that. He only saw me dance in the last couple of good months before I got so bad on the drugs that I couldn’t function.
“I thought you might say that, so I thought of a way to encourage you.” He’s pissed and I feel my stomach twist with worry. There is no telling what in the hell he’s done. Punching the speaker button on his desk phone, he punches in a number before leaning back on his desk with his arms crossed. The other line rings a few times before a very cheerful, very familiar voice comes on the line.
“Hello… Hello?” My heart sinks at the sound of Aunt Kathy’s voice echoing in the room. Chip leans over to hang up the phone and I have to sit to avoid passing out.
“The next time, it’ll be little Sara, but she won’t be talking.” I can’t even get angry at his words because I’m too busy trying to catch my breath. My heart is in my knees, my head is spinning and I feel like I’ve just taken a punch to the gut. “You still think that’s all you got?” he sneers at me as I continue to freak the fuck out. I put my head between my knees, concentrating on slowing my breathing. When I’m composed, I meet his eyes, pinning him with a glare that I swear causes fear to creep across his face.
“Let me pick my own outfits, my own songs and perform my own way. I’ll keep the house packed and keep them coming back, but you leave my family alone.” He throws his hands up, looking around the room at the men standing there. “Now, was that so hard? I’m a sensible guy, Red. You give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want.” I stand to leave, ready to be out of this place and breathe some fresh air. “Oh, and Red?” I stop, but keep my back to him. “I’m gonna need you to strip naked. The guys don’t like paying for something they can’t see.” With what little pride I have left, I walk out on his words.
