Gideon proceeded with caution. He knew it was common for someone of Hattie’s age to hold her secrets close to her chest. “First, let me extend my condolences on the loss of your pastor. I know that must have been difficult for you.”
“It’s so sad. So, so sad. But you got to believe everything happens for a reason. God don’t make mistakes.”
Despite the expensive clothes and the transparent smile, Hattie felt a warmth surrounding the handsome man. He’s got an old soul, she thought. I bet his people are from Texas.
“I agree with you, ma’am. God does not make mistakes. I’m investigating his death, and I’d like to talk to the people who were the closest to him. I know you are one of the founding members of New Testament Cathedral and a trustee, so I just wanted to ask you a few questions.”
I wonder, does his mama know about the homosexual thing? Shame. He’s such a good-looking boy. Sho’ll would make some pretty babies, she thought.
“New Testament Cathedral is one of the largest churches in the country, and Pastor Cleaveland touched so many people, I wanted to do a kind of tribute to him on my show.”
Gideon’s words said one thing, but Hattie heard another. So you trying to find out who killed him, she thought. “I think that would be very nice. He was a great man and deserves some kind of tribute,” she said.
Hattie felt a power around Gideon that she usually only felt around politicians or corporate executives. Sure is a powerful man to be so young and not be a politician, she thought.
“What newspaper did you say you write for?”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Williams. You misunderstood me. I don’t write for a newspaper. I’m a television reporter. I have a program on CNN.”
That explains it, she said to herself and nodded.
Hattie trusted Gideon. The slick, well-mannered, smiling reporter didn’t impress her. What lay beneath the surface was what mattered to her. His heart is in the right place, she thought. He’d been hurt as a child. He looked to God for healing and found it. I hope he finds a good man soon, she thought. Too nice of a young man to be alone in this world.
“You’re not drinking your lemonade. Is it too sweet for you?” she asked.
“No, ma’am. It’s perfect.”
Gideon saw a familiar glimmer in Hattie’s kind eyes. It was the same twinkle he would see every time he looked in his grandmother’s eyes. At that moment he missed her very much. I really should go and see her soon, he thought.
“God’s given you a gift, boy,” his grandmother would say every time Gideon went to visit her in the little shotgun house in Texarkana. “Don’t waste it.”
“How’s your grandmother doing? Is she still with us?”
Gideon froze as he lifted the glass of lemonade to his lips. He didn’t remember saying anything about his grandmother out loud.
“Don’t look so surprised, boy,” Hattie said casually. “You got a good spirit, and somebody’s praying hard for you. I assumed it must be your grandmother.”
Gideon sat the glass on the coaster and blotted his moist hands on his trousers. He was quiet for a moment. He did not question the old woman’s wisdom. He knew from a lifetime of experience with his grandmother that there were some people in the world who saw and knew things that most others did not.
He smiled at Hattie and said, “You are correct, Mrs. Williams. I was raised by my grandmother, and yes, she is still alive. Her name is Virginia.”
“That’s good, ’cause she still has a lot more she can teach you. You need to get home and see her soon. She misses you.”
“Yes, ma’am, I was just thinking the same thing.”
“Now, young man, I can’t sit here, talkin’ all afternoon. I got a basket full of green beans that need snappin’. What did you want to ask me?”
Gideon had interviewed some of the most powerful, notorious, and famous people in the world, but he found himself unprepared for Hattie.
He reached into the breast pocket of his coat and took out a small recorder. “Do you mind if I record our conversation? It’s easier than taking notes.”
Hattie did not reply but simply nodded her head in approval. Gideon pressed a red button on the little box and placed it on the coffee table between them.
“How long had you known Hezekiah Cleaveland?”
“I’ve known both Hezekiah and Samantha since they first started New Testament Cathedral fifteen years ago. Their first church was just a block from here. My husband and I, rest his soul, and my grandkids used to walk there every Sunday morning. Couldn’t been more than ten members back then. But I knew he was somethin’ special.”
“How do you mean special?”
“Are you a religious man?”
“Yes, ma’am. I was raised in the church.”
“Then you’ll understand what I’m about to tell you. God loves everybody, but He put some people on this earth to do great things. I knew Hezekiah was one of those people the moment I laid my eyes on him. Deep calling unto deep. He was covered in light the first time I saw him, and it stayed around him until the day he died. The Bible says sometimes those gifts are a vexation. It’s a heavy burden to carry. That’s why I stayed with him all these years.”
“To intercede on his behalf?” Gideon said as if a light had just turned on in his head.
A pleased smile came across Hattie’s face. “You are a religious man. Not a day went by that I didn’t pray for Hezekiah.”
“Did he know that?”
“He would sometimes call me at three or four in the morning and simply say in the phone, ‘Mother, would you pray for me?’ and hang up.”
Gideon saw a single tear fall from Hattie’s brown eyes. She reached for a crumpled handkerchief from the pocket of the floral-print apron tied at her waist and dabbed her cheek.
“When I saw him lying on the floor, covered in his own blood, that Sunday morning,” Hattie continued, unprompted by Gideon, “I couldn’t help but feel I had let him down.”
“It certainly wasn’t your fault. There was nothing anyone could have done to prevent it from happening.”
“I knew. I knew something terrible was gonna happen,” she said, looking out the window.
Gideon leaned forward in the chair. “How did you know?” Gideon asked gently.
Hattie looked him in the eye, smiled, and said, “Old people just know some things, boy.”
Gideon knew Hattie would say nothing more on the subject and decided to move on. “Can you tell me about your new pastor, Samantha Cleaveland?” he asked.
Hattie looked back to the window, sighed, and dabbed her cheek again. “What would you like to know?” she asked while clearing the thoughts of Hezekiah from her mind.
“Just give your general impressions of her. How do you think his death has affected her? Do you think she will make a good pastor? Things like that.”
“Whether or not she’ll make a good pastor is in the hands of the Lord.”
“Then I assume you don’t see the same light around Samantha Cleaveland as you saw around Hezekiah.” Gideon sensed Hattie was holding back. “This can be off the record if you’d prefer. Would you like me to turn off the recorder?”
“No need,” Hattie scoffed. “There’s no light around Samantha Cleaveland.”
“But it’s my understanding that you and the other members of the board of trustees voted unanimously to make her interim pastor. If you didn’t see any light around her, why did you vote for her?”
Hattie didn’t hesitate in her response. “Because I love New Testament Cathedral. I believed that she’s the only person right now that can keep the ministry together. She will keep people coming in the doors and turning on the TV every Sunday morning. You’ve seen her. She’s beautiful, and people around the world love her, but there ain’t no anointing there. New Testament needs her until God sends us the right shepherd. People need that church, and I didn’t want to see it fail. That’s why I voted the way I did.”
Gideon was honored by her candor. “Thank
you for being so open with me, Mrs. Williams. I assure you I will not use any of this in my story.”
“I know you won’t,” she said calmly. “Because that’s not why you came here.”
“Then, why do you think I’m here, ma’am?” he asked, somehow knowing that she actually knew the answer.
“Because you want to know who killed Hezekiah.” Gideon tried to conceal his discomfort. He felt vulnerable and exposed sitting in the chair, facing the old woman. It was as if she could see parts of him that he himself didn’t know existed.
Gideon felt weak. There was no point in denying the truth. “So who do you think killed Hezekiah Cleaveland?” he asked, not as the acclaimed reporter, but as the vulnerable little boy sitting on his grandmother’s couch.
Hattie gave a wry smile. “I know a lot of things, son. For example, I know you’re about to meet somebody you’ve been looking for your whole life. And they’ve been looking for you too. I know you’re scared to death that one day people will find out about that secret you’ve been hiding for so long. But don’t worry ’bout that, boy. People are gon’na love you no matter what.”
Hattie paused to allow the handsome young man to digest all that she had said. Gideon struggled to maintain his composure. Then she continued, “I know there’s a dark cloud near you, and you seem to be walking right into it. Do you know what that means?”
Gideon could hardly speak. He managed to choke out, “No, ma’am.”
“It means you might be gettin’ in over your head with this one. Be careful, boy. You’re heading toward someone who’s more dangerous than you could ever imagine.”
Kay Braisden exited the green and white cab in front of Danny’s apartment. She tipped the driver five dollars.
“Thank you,” said the scruffy, woolen-capped driver.
“Hope you enjoy you stay in L.A.”
Kay rolled her single black canvas suitcase to the door. The wheels made a clanking sound on the pavement, which Danny could hear from his apartment. Kay and Danny were the same age, but she looked older and wiser. She wore comfortable traveling clothes that hid the fact that she had gained weight since the last time they saw each other, three years earlier. Her hair was in a tight bun knotted on the back. Kay never wore makeup, and today was no exception. By Los Angeles standards, she was a plain girl who most people would forget a few minutes after they met her. Their friendship had survived the distance. They would talk two and three times a week before Danny told her about Hezekiah. In between telephone calls were text messages and e-mails.
Have you seen bouncy Beyoncé’s latest video? one such benign text message from Kay had read. Wish had legs like those.
Danny’s responses were typically. LOL . . . last time i saw u did have legs like hers just shorter ;).
LOL . . . , came Kay’s rapidly texted reply.
But after Danny told her about Hezekiah, all communication had stopped for months.
Before she could lift her hand, the door opened. Danny stood in the threshold, and they looked in each other’s eyes. She could see he had been crying. Kay extended her arms, and Danny gladly stepped into her embrace.
“I told you I would pick you up at the airport,” he said, still in her arms. “Why didn’t you call?”
“It was just as easy for me to take a cab,” she said, squeezing him tighter. “I’ve missed you so much, Danny St. John.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Kay Braisden. I’m so glad you’re here.”
Danny placed her suitcase in the little entry hall and made them each a cup of tea. The two sat on the couch, Danny’s legs curled under him and Kay sitting sideways, looking Danny in the eye.
“How are you holding up?” she asked, already knowing the answer.
“It’s been weeks, but every day it feels like it just happened. When is it ever going to stop hurting?” Before Kay could respond Danny answered his own question. “I don’t think it ever will.”
Kay took his hand and said, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for not being there for you when you needed me.”
Danny did not respond.
“It all just took me by surprise. You never mentioned anything about him to me in the entire two years you were seeing him. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was afraid you would react the way you did. I knew you wouldn’t approve, and I was already feeling guilty enough without you adding to it.”
Kay looked embarrassed. “And of course, I, like an idiot, acted true to form.”
Danny paused and then said with a smile, “Yes, you did.”
Kay smiled with him. “I don’t know why I reacted the way I did. I’m not as old- fashioned as you may think.”
“Then what happened? Why did this have such a negative impact on you personally?”
Kay had decided before she boarded the plane in Washington, D.C., that she would—no matter how painful it would be—tell Danny the truth about how she felt about him. From the first day they met in college, she had been in love with him. She’d followed him everywhere he went for their entire undergraduate years. She would join the same clubs on campus. She arranged her class schedule so she could take as many classes with him as possible. He never touched her in a way that was sexual. She had longed to kiss him on so many occasions but never got the nerve. To her painful dismay, he would always introduce her as “my best buddy, Kay,” to his friends and family. But she’d wanted so much more.
“Danny, I reacted the way I did because I wanted so much more for you. It’s not because you’re gay,” her self betrayal began. “It hurt me so deeply that you didn’t tell me about Hezekiah sooner. We’ve always shared our secrets with each other, and I was angry that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the biggest secret of your life.” Kay sat her now tepid cup of tea on the coffee table. “It’s selfish, I know, but that’s the embarrassing truth. I felt left out of your life.”
A tear dropped to her cheek as she spoke. It fell from the pain of not being able to summon the courage to tell the truth to the man she had loved for so many years.
Danny lifted his hand and gently brushed the tear from her cheek. She grabbed it before he could remove it. Her heart fluttered as she held his soft hand. “I’m so sorry, Danny,” she said through mounting tears. “Can you ever forgive me?”
“I forgive you, Kay,” Danny said gently. “Now, come here and hug me. I need a hug.”
Kay could feel the warmth of his breath on her shoulder as they embraced. She could smell the familiar scent of his favorite sandalwood soap on his skin. His strong arms held her tight as she cried more tears of unrequited love.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Danny asked, still holding her close.
Kay froze, and the tears abruptly stopped. Had he seen through that clumsy attempt at hiding my real feelings? she thought. Could he possibly feel the same way about me? For a brief moment she felt a glint of hope. “Talk about what?” she asked without breathing.
“About my relationship with Hezekiah,” Danny said curiously.
The hope that had made her heart miss a beat at the thought he could possibly love her in the same way left as quickly as it had come. “Of course, of course,” she said, embarrassed, wiping tears from her cheek with the back of her hand. “I want to hear all about it. But only if you feel up to it.”
Danny was eager to tell someone he knew about Hezekiah. In the two years of their relationship he had never spoken his name to anyone.
Danny leaned back on the couch. He cradled the cup of tea in his lap as he spoke.
“I met him purely by accident on the street. I was helping a homeless person downtown, and he pulled up next to me. He said there was a homeless woman near his church and asked if I would speak to her. After I helped her, he asked if he could do outreach to the homeless with me one afternoon. Kay, I swear it all was so innocent at first. I had no idea he was gay, and it never crossed my mind that he was attracted to me. But when we were alone in my apartment—”
“A
lone in your apartment?” Kay interrupted. “How did that happen?”
“He came with me one afternoon to do outreach. You know, handing out socks, vitamins, condoms to people on skid row. When we finished, his driver was late picking him up, so he asked if he could hang out with me until he came.” Danny paused and looked at Kay. “Are you sure you’re all right hearing this? You seem tense.”
Kay suddenly became conscious of the fact that her fist was clenched in her lap and her jaw was tight. She took a deep breath and replied, “I’m fine, Danny. It’s important that you talk about it. It’s part of the healing process. Go ahead. I’m listening.”
“Well, anyway,” Danny continued, “we went back to my apartment, and everything seemed perfectly innocent. We sat right here on the couch, just like you and I are right now, and just talked. He was nothing like the man I’d seen on television. He was funny, vulnerable, and relaxed and, I guess, just a normal guy. He wasn’t that bigger-than-life, one-dimensional cutout.”
“A normal guy who just happened to be one of the most famous people in the country and married,” Kay said.
“Are you judging me? Because if you are, I don’t need it,” Danny said defensively.” Believe me, I’ve already judged myself. If you are, we can stop this conversation right now.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m sorry. Go ahead.” Danny proceeded with caution. “I was walking him to the door, and we stopped right over there,” he said, pointing to the arched threshold leading from the living room to the entry hall. “We stood directly in front of each other, looking into each other’s eyes and not saying a word. Then it was like a magnet pulled us together. We made love the first time that afternoon right here on the living room floor.”
Kay felt her stomach tighten. She tried to push the image of their two male bodies writhing on the floor out of her mind.
“Kay, he was an amazing person. Not because he was so special or unique, but because he loved me like no one has ever loved me before. He once told me he knew every inch of my body and remembered everything I’d ever said to him. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. That someone knew everything about me. I was so lonely at the time I met him. You had moved away. I rarely went out. I was working seven days a week just not to be at home alone. And, more than that, I was also afraid.”
When Sunday Comes Again Page 12
