by Lucia Ashta
Only that I couldn’t let myself see her. I hadn’t seen her since she broke up with me all those years ago. It’d been easy to avoid her while she was at the university and then law school. Once I’d heard she’d come back to the next town over, I’d worried for months I’d bump into her. But it turned out that fancy attorneys didn’t make the drive to frequent dives like Tony’s.
It’d been all too easy to avoid her. We lived in different worlds now.
And I had to keep it that way.
Chapter Eight
~ Rae ~
Sam rolled up to our parents’ house cautiously. Todd’s car—a black, sleek Corvette Stingray—was parked in the driveway.
“We can still make a getaway,” Sam said, peering over at me in the near darkness.
“Like Thelma and Louise?”
“Kind of. I’d like to think we’d be wilder than them, and we wouldn’t stop at Brad Pitt. We’d go through a whole harem of Brad Pitts before we drove off a cliff.”
Chuckling darkly, I studied Todd’s car like it was a hearse come to take me away. “We’d make one hell of a poppin’ team,” I commented absently.
“Then let’s do it. Let’s just go. Deal with the asshole later.”
“Preferably never,” I grumbled.
“So you’re game?”
“And leave Mom and Dad to deal with him?” I sighed. “Pull in. I’ve got to deal with him once and for all. I can’t keep avoiding him.”
“Maybe you can. If you ignore him long enough, don’t you think he’d just go away?”
I shrugged in the darkness of the Jeep’s interior. “I have no idea. I don’t know him.” Unease pricked at my neck. “And that’s the entire problem. I don’t know if I’m being fair. I don’t understand why I don’t like him. Clearly I used to like him. But now…” I fake shivered. “Something about him gives me the creeps.”
“To think you used to have sex with him.”
“Ew. No, Sam, ew. That’s gross.” I paused. “But why is it so gross? I mean, he’s obviously good looking. He could be in magazines and shit.”
“That’s the problem. He’s too good looking. I don’t trust anyone that good looking.”
“Your logic seems highly flawed, but yeah, it’s how I feel too.”
We both stared at his Corvette for a few beats until I asked, “Is it wrong of me to break up with him over a feeling I don’t understand? To ruin everything I had with him? It must’ve been good, right? Whatever we shared?”
“Honestly, Rae, I have no idea. I didn’t really know you anymore. You changed, and you definitely weren’t the person you are now. You seem like your usual self now, though a bit tamer, but that’s understandable after what you went through. The wild streak I used to love in you still has time to rise and shine.”
Chuckling, I said, “I did not have a wild streak, I just knew how to have fun. But even if I did have a wild streak, you didn’t love it. You hated it.”
“Hell no I didn’t. It’s what I used to admire about you the most. Your ability to let go and seize the day. You did it more than anyone else I ever knew. I spent most of my time since you disappeared from my life trying to be like you were.”
“What? No way.”
“Yes way.” Sam put the car in park and turned in her seat to face me. “Look, when you broke up with Jace, that sucked. I didn’t agree with it one bit, but hey, it was your life. Even then, you didn’t owe any of us any explanations. You did what you felt was right for you, however misguided. Because let’s face it, trading in your wild streak for lawyering was a poor decision.”
“Word,” I muttered.
“What I’m getting at is that if you didn’t owe us any explanations for Jace, you sure as shit don’t owe us any for Todd. If he doesn’t feel right to you, he doesn’t feel right to you. That’s all the reason you need.”
“And what if I get my memories back and then I regret dumping him?”
“If you regret dumping him, then we’ll have bigger problems. The only way you’ll regret it is if you get your old personality back. And then everything would suck.”
“Wow. I can’t believe you hated who I became so much.”
“I didn’t hate you, Rae, I just didn’t much like you anymore. There’s a difference. And I doubt even you liked yourself the way you were. You were strung tighter than Anna Grace on parade day.”
“Impossible.”
Anna Grace was the coordinator of Willow Sweep’s yearly parade. It was supposed to be an opportunity to celebrate our small-town culture and diversity, to get together for a little fun. Instead, Anna Grace turned it into the cause of enough stress to last a year, running the parade board like she was a general in the military at time of war. She didn’t stop shaking from the stress-induced adrenaline for a full week after.
“Fine,” Sam conceded, “maybe you weren’t as bad as Anna Grace—I’ll admit that’s a pretty extreme standard—but you worked every day. You went into the office on weekends. You even worked when you were over at Mom and Dad’s. Last Christmas, you worked from your phone in between opening presents.”
“I just don’t get it. Why would that happen to me?” I chewed on the inside of my lip. “What if it happens again?”
“It won’t, not if you don’t let it. You lost your way is all. You forgot who you really are. Life’s giving you a second chance. Take advantage of the gift coming from this accident.”
“When’d you get so wise, little sister?”
“In the last twelve years you’ve forgotten.”
“So you got wise and awesome and I got anal retentive?”
She snorted. “Basically.”
“Great. I love it.” I lathered on the sarcasm.
“Just let loose, Rae. We can go back to being wild together.”
I chuckled. “We’re hardly wild together anymore. You’re two years younger than me.” I thought about it. “Which probably doesn’t matter in the least now that we’re out of school.”
“Right.”
“We can party together, get trashed, and go on wild adventures.”
“That’s the spirit.”
“I can dump all my problems—”
“If by that you mean Todd,” Sam interjected, “then hell to the yeah.”
“And we can wild it up.”
Sam was grinning. “You haven’t asked me what I do to earn my living.”
“Sorry. I’m being a shitty sister again, aren’t I? What do you do for work? And it’d better not be something boring like what I do—did.”
“Oh, no worries on that front. It’s not boring, not for a second. I run an adventure tour company, and not just any adventure company: I arrange outings for people wanting to be wild and free. Sometimes I get people who, like Poo-Poo Past Rae, lost their way and want to wake the hell up to life again. Sometimes I get clients who never forgot to have fun and want to keep it up. Those peeps are the best. They want to do the craziest things. We travel all over the world doing stuff, depending on who contracts with me.”
“Wow. That’s super cool. Good for you. So I became Rainy-day Dud, and you became Adventurer Sammy. Where’s the fairness in that?”
“Like I said, life’s giving you a second chance. Take it up on the offer.”
“Yeah.” I nodded at myself. “I think I have to.”
“Good.” She patted my arm. “‘Cause I’ve missed you. A lot.”
“I’ve missed you too, Sammy,” I said, though I still remembered her as a dorky freshman in high school. Even so, I had missed her.
“If you want…” she said, “my company’s doing so well that I’ve been thinking of taking on someone else to help me run it. You could join me. We could have wild fun together.” She smiled, but it was tentative, like she didn’t fully trust that Rainy-day Rae wouldn’t come back.
But relief softened the tension I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding in my shoulders. “I might just take you up on it. I’ve been a little freaked out about this whole law
firm waiting for me to return thing.”
She nodded. “Well, Seize Your Wild Adventures company is hiring. You just let me know.”
A knock rapped on the driver’s side window, making Sam and me jump and scream. I clutched at my chest until I saw Todd silhouetted on the other side of the glass, but unease continued to worm through me even after I identified him.
Sam lowered the window. “Dammit, Todd, you shouldn’t creep up on people like that.”
“I didn’t creep. You’ve been idling out here forever, and I’ve been waiting to see my fiancée for”—he tilted the face of his watch toward a distant streetlamp—“an hour and a half. I don’t have all night. I have to get home.” He leaned down to peer into the car. “To our home.”
“Sorry,” I said automatically, then wondered if I should have. Something about the man made me not want to apologize, even when what I’d done had been rude. He didn’t know I realized he was there waiting for me, but I did.
“You cut your hair.”
“I did. I had to do something about it.” My smile was strained. “Do you like it?”
“I liked you better before.”
Sam tensed next to me. I had the feeling he wasn’t just referring to my hair.
“Well, sorry for the inconvenience, Todd.” I spit out his name like it tasted awful on my tongue. “I didn’t mean to hit my head and nearly kill myself. It wasn’t my idea of a fun time.”
Compassion settled across his face. Only on him it didn’t sit right. “Of course it was an accident. I’m just glad you’re okay now. Soon everything will return to normal.”
Sam reached over to squeeze my hand and I gathered courage. I had to end this now.
“Well,” he said a little too shortly, “are you going to keep idling or are you going to park so we can talk like civilized people? Your parents are waiting inside.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, but Sam pretended to search for something in the console as she whispered out of the corner of her mouth, “Okay with you if I run over his feet?”
I barked out a laugh, but then whispered, “Don’t do it. He’ll sue you.” I had no idea if that was true, but it seemed like that’s what a stuck-up attorney would do.
“What are you saying in there?” Todd asked.
“Nothing,” Sam and I said in unison like we were still young girls and our parents were trying to catch us in wrongdoing. We’d been inseparable then. Partners in crime.
“So then park already.”
Sam glared at him like she was actually considering running over his feet. They were lined up with her tires. If Todd knew anything about her temper, he’d be more careful.
“Sam,” I warned.
“If you want me to pull in, move your feet, dipshit,” she said.
He sneered. Even in the dim lighting, the expression was unpleasant. “That’s what the small people do. They try to put down those who are smart and work hard to rise in the ranks above them. I worked hard to get where I am, so don’t be jealous.”
“Jealous?” Sam sputtered in disbelief. “I’m not jealous of you. I feel sorry for you.”
Todd stuffed his hands into his pockets and ducked down to stare at me. “Are you going to let her talk to me like that?”
I sighed. “Just move out of the way so she can park.”
His eyes narrowed, and his features suddenly seemed far less handsome. “Fine.” With jerky movements, he backed up a few steps.
Sam tore up the driveway, next to Todd’s car, then slammed on the brakes, putting on the parking brake with an aggressive jerk. She didn’t even need the parking brake. The driveway was flat.
Her nostrils flared. “I don’t know how you put up with him. I feel like punching him straight in his too-pretty nose.”
Exhaustion dragged me down as I huffed and pushed open my door. “I feel like punching him too,” I mumbled to myself as I got out. Once I did, Todd was right there, his hand catching my elbow, steering me over to the side.
“You need to get out of here,” he hissed. “You worked too hard to let your hillbilly family bring you down.”
“They are not hillbillies,” I protested, outraged.
“They are and you know it. You’re the one who told me that in the first place.”
I snapped my arm free, rounding on him. “You’re lying. I’d never say anything like that about them.”
“I’ve never lied to you. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with calling a spade a spade.”
“Or calling an asshole an asshole,” Sam said from the other side of the car.
“I don’t care what you say,” I told him. “I know myself, and I’d never say that about my family. No matter how much I changed, I’d never say something so hurtful about them.”
He laughed, dark and ominous. “You have no idea what you said, do you? That’s the whole point. I’m the only one who knows the real you, and you are not like them anymore.” He reached for my elbow again. “You have to come home with me before they taint you.”
“Taint me?” I repeated in a voice too shrill. “Taint me! My family doesn’t taint me. They love me.”
“I love you,” he said. “So I’m going to do what’s best for you. You’re coming with me.”
He yanked on my arm, pulling me toward his Corvette.
Sam raced around the Jeep and down the driveway. “Like hell you are.” She grabbed his shoulder, and he whipped around so fast I feared he was going to strike her.
He held up a finger. “Don’t you ever touch me again.”
“Then get your nasty paws off my sister.”
“What on earth is going on?” Mom called from behind us. “Jack,” she yelled into the house, “come out here.”
“There’s nothing going on,” Todd announced to Mom, his voice losing its dangerous undertones in an instant. “I’m just taking Rae home with me so she can get some rest.”
“I thought we discussed Rae staying with us until she was all the way better?” Mom was crossing the lawn; Dad was exiting the front door to the house, his gaze sweeping the scene. He hurried to reach Mom’s side.
“As her future husband, I think it’s in her best interest to come with me now.”
“He says we’re hillbillies and a bad influence,” Sam said with a saccharine smile.
Mom laughed until she realized it wasn’t a joke. Her face fell. “Todd wouldn’t say something like that.” But she was starting to sound unsure. Her gaze trailed across the way he clutched my bicep—too tightly.
“Well, Todd the hero just did,” Sam said.
“Son, I think you should let go of my daughter now,” Dad said, his eyes pinned on Todd’s hold on me.
Todd looked like he worked out every day. He was strong and fit, but not overly large. Dad hadn’t spent a day of his life in a gym—not that I knew of—but he worked with his hands, and he hauled big chunks of wood around on the regular. They were matched evenly enough, even if Dad had some years on Todd.
Even so, Todd didn’t let go. He bent down to whisper in my ear, like my family wasn’t there anymore. “If you don’t remember what you used to think of them, then trust me. I do remember, and I know you’d want me to take you away from them before they can be a bad influence on you in your delicate state. You’ve worked too hard to create a life for yourself. Don’t throw it away on them.”
“Todd?” Mom said, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
But Todd didn’t even look at her.
Dad held out an arm as he inserted himself between Todd and me, and faced his back to Mom and Sam. His message was clear. He was going to do whatever it took to look out for his little girl, and he didn’t want Mom and Sam in harm’s way.
Todd flicked a quick glance at Dad’s approach and tugged on me. “You’re about to make partner. You need to come with me. Right now.”
When he yanked on my arm another time, Dad rushed him, and I stumbled, falling out of the way.
As I threw out my hands to catch my fall, I
remembered.
Chapter Nine
I didn’t recall everything, but I remembered enough.
I sat where I’d fallen hard on my butt, dazed, doing everything I could to hold on to the flash of a memory that was nebulous enough to suggest that maybe I was making it up. Only I didn’t think I was.
Dad scuffled with Todd for a few moments, until he realized I was out of his sight. Then he whirled, searching for me, finding me when he saw Mom and Sam running to my side.
While Dad’s face was turned toward us, Todd landed a punch on his jaw.
The hollow crack of it made Mom gasp. She brought both hands to either side of her face and wobbled back up to her feet. “Todd, no,” she whispered.
Dad rounded on him aggressively, his hands curled into fists, raised in front of his face, his arms protecting his chest. Dad was readying for a fight, and from the ease of his stance, it was clear it wasn’t his first one. He bounced on his feet, light and agile.
Todd faced his palms forward, like this was all just some big misunderstanding. “Sorry, Jack, this all got out of control. We’re all friends here. Family.”
“Like hell we are,” I grumbled before I realized I’d done it.
Everyone turned to look at me. Sam crouched next to me, offering me a hand to help me up. “Are you okay?” she asked. “You didn’t hit your head, did you?”
I took her hand and stood. “Not this time.” I pinned Todd in what I imagined was a murderous glare and for a moment I thought he understood. That he realized I knew.
For once, his confidence faltered. “Are you all right, Rae?” he asked. “Did you fall?”
“Even the blind would know she fell, you piece of shit,” Sam snapped, moving from my side to Dad’s. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Coming here and knocking my sister over and then hitting my dad. Rae just had brain surgery! She was in a coma!”
It hadn’t exactly been brain surgery, more like cranial drilling to drain the fluid build-up surrounding my brain. But she made a damn fine point.
Especially after what I’d just remembered.
