by Adele Abbott
“I’m afraid so.” I nodded. “She told me so herself.”
At that, he broke down in tears. I’d never been comfortable around people when they cried, and for some reason, it seemed even worse when it was a man.
“I realise this is hard for you, Chris.” I passed him a tissue. “But, if I’m going to help you, I’ll need to ask you a few questions about your relationship with Bill, and the events of Tuesday night.”
“Sorry.” He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. “This has all come as such a shock. I thought Sarah and I were solid. And I thought Bill was a friend.”
“Had you noticed any change in your wife’s behaviour recently?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.”
“Can you talk me through what happened on Tuesday night?”
“It was a great night. At least, I thought so at the time. Jack and I beat Bill and Graham for the first time. Jack must have told you about it.”
“He did, but I’d still like to hear it from you.”
“Graham had to leave a couple of frames before the end, but we already had it sewn up at that point.”
“Do you know why he had to leave?”
“He got a phone call to say his brother had been taken into hospital, I think.”
“What happened after the match was over?”
“After Jack left, Bill and I had a cigarette in the car park as usual. Then Bill left, and that was the last time I saw him.”
“Did you give Bill the cigarette?”
“Yes. He never had any of his own because he was supposed to have given them up.”
“And you smoked a cigarette from the same packet?”
“That’s right. I know the police reckon I put poison on Bill’s cigarette, but that’s rubbish. I had no reason to kill him because I had no idea that he was seeing Sarah.”
“How did Bill seem when he left you?”
“Okay. As soon as we’d finished our cigarettes, we said goodnight and went our separate ways.”
***
I’d promised to try to identify Fluff, but I was going to need some help. It occurred to me that Mr Shuttlebug’s widow might still have his unpublished manuscript, so I gave her a call.
“You’ve reached the Shuttlebug residence. Deloris Shuttlebug speaking. I’m unable to take your call because I’m away from home for a few days. I will be back on Tuesday.”
Disappointing, but I’d just have to try again then. That wouldn’t leave long until the deadline for identifying the strange little creature, but I had no other bright ideas.
Mrs V and I were due to attend the grand opening of The Sea’s The Limit, so I called into the office to collect her on the way past.
“I’ve got it working, Jill.” She looked very pleased with herself about something.
“Got what working?”
“The wap. It’s very straightforward.”
“Good. Come on. We’d better get a move on.”
“Where are we going?”
“It’s the grand opening of The Sea’s The Limit. Had you forgotten?”
“I’m afraid I had. It’s all the excitement of my new phone. Shall I bring it with me?”
“If you like.”
“I think I will. I may see a nice jumper while we’re out.”
“You’re late, Jill.” Betty was standing by the entrance to The Sea’s The Limit.
“Sorry, I lost track of time.”
“All of the best seats have already gone, I’m afraid. There are just a few left on the back row.”
“I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
“Follow me.” She led the way inside. “We’ve managed to get Finn Waters to do the honours.”
“Who?”
“You must have heard of him. Finn does all those marine life documentaries.” She pointed to the few empty seats at the back of the large room, which contained two enormous tanks. “You’ll have to sit over there.”
“Okay. How come only one of the tanks has any fish in it?”
“The dangerous species will go in that tank, but we haven’t received the licence for them yet. We didn’t want to wait any longer—there have been enough delays already.”
“Is that Sid?” I pointed to the scuba diver in the tank that had no fish in it.
“It is. Sorry, Jill, I have to go and introduce Finn.”
“Okay. Good luck, Betty.”
Moments after Mrs V and I had taken our seats, Betty appeared on the small makeshift stage, accompanied by a short, stout man.
“Look at his jumper.” Mrs V nudged me.
“It’s horrible.”
“I think it’s nice.” She took out her phone and snapped a photo.
“Ladies and gentlemen.” Betty spoke into the mic. “Thank you for coming here today. Without further ado, it’s my great pleasure to welcome Finn Waters.”
“Thank you, Betty.” He took the mic. from her. “It is a great honour to be asked here to open The Sea’s The Limit. I’m pleased to confirm that the giftshop will be stocking my range of marine-themed jumpers and cardigans.” He pointed to his own jumper. “They’re available in all sizes, including children’s.”
“He’s just here to flog his horrible knitwear,” I whispered to Mrs V.
But I was wrong. He was there to bore us all to death for the next forty-five minutes, with talk of crustaceans and fish. By the time he’d finished, I was practically asleep.
“And so.” He picked up a magnum of champagne. “It gives me great pleasure to declare The Sea’s The Limit open.” He smashed the bottle on the tank closest to him.
And then it happened. At first, it was just a tiny crack in the glass, but that quickly spread. I glanced at Betty and could tell by the look of horror on her face that all was not well.
“Quick, Mrs V.” I grabbed her by the arm.
“What’s wrong?”
“Hurry up. We have to get out of here.”
We’d just reached the exit when I heard what sounded like a small explosion behind us.
“Jill, I really shouldn’t be running like this.”
“You have to.” I managed to drag her across the road and into EAWM. “Quick. Upstairs.”
“By the time we reached the top of the stairs, poor old Mrs V was gasping for air. “What was that all about?” She slumped onto one of the sun loungers on the roof terrace.
“Look!” I pointed to the road.
“Oh dear. That’s dreadful.”
Below us, a torrent of water was cascading down the street. Moments later, dozens of disgruntled people appeared—they were all soaked to the skin. In the middle of them was Betty who was trying her best to placate the angry crowd.
“What happened?” Mrs V had just about recovered.
“The tank broke when he hit it with the bottle.”
“Surely, that shouldn’t have happened?”
“It definitely shouldn’t have happened, but I do recall that Betty said they’d managed to get those tanks much cheaper than she’d expected.”
“It’s like I always say, Jill. You get what you pay for.”
Once the water had subsided, I walked Mrs V back to the office.
“Aren’t you coming in, Jill?”
“I’m going to call it a day. It’s my hen night tomorrow, so I want to conserve my energy for that. I thought I’d give myself the rest of the day off.”
“Okay, dear. Don’t drink too much tomorrow night.”
“Don’t worry. I have no intention of doing. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to join us?”
“Goodness, no.” She laughed. “My hen night days are well and truly behind me.”
“Okay, See you on Monday, then.”
***
I’d gone cold turkey for far too long. If I didn’t have a blueberry muffin soon, I’d get the screaming abdabs, so before heading home, I magicked myself to my favourite muffin emporium (and coincidentally, the only one that gave me a discount).
“Jill, you’ve timed it just right,”
Amber said.
“Isn’t it supposed to be your day off?”
“It is, but I couldn’t miss the launch of our new self-order machines.”
“They’ve just finished commissioning them.” Pearl joined her sister behind the counter. “I gave Amber a call because I knew she’d want to be here to see them in action.”
“Where’s your Lil, Amber?”
“I dropped her off at Mum’s.”
“You’ll wear poor old Aunt Lucy out.”
“I’ll only be here an hour or so, and besides Mum loves it. It’s not like my Lil is any trouble.”
If Pearl picked up on the subtle dig, she didn’t react. She was much too enthralled with the machines. “You can be the first person to place an order with them, Jill.”
“I just popped in for a blueberry muffin and a caramel latte.”
“I know. Go and place your order on the machine.”
“But I’ve just told you what I want.”
“Come on, Jill. It’ll be fun.”
“Won’t it just.” I walked over to the machine closest to me. I was already familiar with the format, having used them in Burger Bay. I selected the muffin first, and then the drink. “Right, I’ve done it.”
“You have to pay before the order comes through to us.”
“Where’s the slot for the card?”
Amber laughed. “There isn’t one.”
“Why not?” And then I remembered that there were no credit or debit cards in Candlefield.
“You have to pay with cash,” Pearl shouted.
“Okay.” I slipped some coins into the slot. “There. Done it.”
Amber and Pearl were both staring at the small terminal behind the counter.
“Is anything happening?” I shouted.
“Not yet.”
“It’s very slow, isn’t it?”
“Have some patience—here it comes now!” Amber shrieked.
“Let me!” Pearl tore off the slip before Amber could get to it.
“Didn’t we tell you that these machines would be brilliant?” Amber said.
I didn’t reply. I was too busy looking at the expression on Pearl’s face. “What’s up, Pearl?”
“Did you order a burger?”
“Of course I didn’t. You don’t sell them.”
“What about a strawberry milkshake?”
“I ordered a muffin and a latte. Why?”
“What’s wrong?” Amber snatched the slip from her sister. “This can’t be right.”
I walked over to the counter and took the slip from Amber.
“Oh dear. Have you seen the tiny print at the bottom? It says, Burger Bay.”
“What?” Pearl grabbed the slip from my hand.
“I told you that Burger Bay had just had some new machines installed. It looks like someone has sold you their old ones.”
“But they said they’d be reconditioned and re-programmed specifically for our shop.”
“It seems like the only changes they’ve made are the images on screen. I’m sorry to say this, girls, but I think you’ve been conned.”
Chapter 12
It was Saturday—the day of my hen night. Yippee!
I’d never been a fan of hen nights—they were just so juvenile. What could be more embarrassing than a bunch of grown women, parading around town, wearing silly costumes and hats? Well, not mine. I’d made it quite clear to Kathy and the twins that I was having none of that. If I had to have a hen night, then mine would be a classy affair.
What do you mean, famous last words?
Jack was much more enthusiastic about his stag night. His best man, Alby, had been organising it for weeks, apparently. Fortunately, they were going to West Chipping, so we wouldn’t have to worry about the two groups bumping into one another.
“Please tell me that you aren’t going to walk around West Chipping wearing those things?” I said.
Jack and Alby were sporting brand new bowling shirts with the words ‘Team Groom’ printed on the back.
“What’s wrong with them?” Alby looked affronted. “I designed them myself.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
“I wasn’t sure about them at first,” Jack said. “But they’ve grown on me.”
“Just as well.” Alby picked up a cardboard box from under the kitchen table. “I’ve had a load of them printed.”
“How many people are going on your do?” I said.
“I’m not sure.” Jack shrugged.
“Twenty-six,” Alby said. “Twenty-seven if Tommo makes it. He had to have an in-grown toenail removed yesterday, so it’ll be touch and go. How many are going on your hen night, Jill?”
“Not many. It’s going to be a small, but classy affair.”
They both grinned.
“It will. I’ve spoken to Kathy and the twins, and they know I don’t want anything loud or tacky.”
“Good luck with that.” Alby laughed.
***
We’d all arranged to meet at Kathy’s house. Peter had taken the kids to his mother’s, and from there he would be going straight to West Chipping to meet up with the other guys.
“Men are so juvenile,” I said.
“Have you only just worked that one out?” Kathy was putting on her makeup. She’d always been so much better at doing it than I was. I just didn’t have the patience.
“Alby has had a load of bowling shirts printed with ‘Team Groom’ on the back.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Kathy laughed. “It is a stag night.”
“They’re supposed to be grown men.”
“Men never grow up. Surely, you’ve learned that much by now.”
“You wouldn’t catch me walking around town, wearing something as tacky as that.”
“What time did you say the twins are coming over?”
Before I could answer, there was a knock at the door.
“That’s probably them.”
It wasn’t—it was Aunt Lucy.
“Am I too early?”
“Of course not. Come on in. Kathy’s just getting ready. Would you like a drink?”
“Not yet. I don’t want to get tipsy too soon.”
“I meant tea or coffee.”
“Oh, right.” She laughed. “A cup of tea would be nice.”
“Come through to the kitchen. We can chat in there while Kathy tries to do something with her face. It could take her a while.”
Aunt Lucy shot me a disapproving look.
“I’m only joking. We’re always teasing one another. Did you tell the twins you were coming tonight?”
“No, I thought I’d let that be a surprise. I do have a message from your grandmother, though.”
“She hasn’t changed her mind, has she?”
“No, you can relax. She said she was sorry she couldn’t make it tonight, but she has her bridge club.”
“Thank goodness for bridge.”
A few minutes later, Kathy came through to the kitchen. “Is there a cup of tea in the pot for me?”
“I’ll pour you one.” Aunt Lucy made to get up.
“Stay where you are, Lucy,” Kathy said. “I’ll see to it.”
“I thought you were going to put your makeup on,” I quipped.
“I have put—oh, very funny. I notice you didn’t offer to pour me a cup of tea.”
“Have you forgotten? This is my special day. Everyone is supposed to pamper to my needs.”
As Kathy was pouring herself a cup of tea, there was another knock at the door.
“I’ll get it.” I volunteered.
It was the twins.
“I like your dresses. They’re identical, aren’t they?”
“I bought mine first,” Amber said.
“No, you didn’t,” Pearl snapped. “I’ve had mine for weeks.”
“Why didn’t you tell me, then?”
“I didn’t realise I needed to.”
“Girls, girls! Not tonight, please.”
“Sorry, Jill,
” they chorused.
“Come on through. We’re in the kitchen.”
“Mum?” Amber glared at Aunt Lucy. “What are you doing here?”
“Going on Jill’s hen night, the same as you two.”
“But you’re too old,” Pearl said.
“Thanks very much.”
“You said you weren’t going to come,” Amber said.
“Jill persuaded me to change my mind.”
The twins both glared at me.
“There’s no reason why Aunt Lucy shouldn’t come with us. It’s not like this is going to be some kind of wild night. Just a few drinks and good conversation.”
The twins were still sulking when someone else came to the door.
“Mad. You look very—err, normal. For you, that is.”
“I thought, seeing as how it was your hen night, I’d better tone it down a little.”
“Thanks. Like I was just saying to the twins, this is going to be a very low-key affair.”
“Yeah, err—about that. There’s something I need to tell you.”
“What’s that?”
Before she could reply, someone shouted, “If it isn’t the blushing bride herself.” It was Deli. “Hiya, Jill. Are you ready to tear up the town?” She took a swig from the half-empty bottle of gin in her hand.
I’d try to describe her outfit, but there aren’t words that could begin to do it justice. Let’s just say that there were bits of her on display that really shouldn’t have been.
“Where is everyone?” She pushed past us and made her way through to the kitchen. “There you all are. Why are you drinking tea? This is supposed to be a hen night.”
I turned to Mad. “What are those in her hand?”
Before Mad could reply, Deli held up the stack of witch’s hats—PINK witch’s hats! “Look what I’ve got for us.”
“Sorry, Jill,” Mad said. “I tried to stop her.”
“Who wants one?” Deli said.
“I don’t think we—” I began.
“Me!” Pearl yelled.
“I’ll have one,” Amber said.
“Count me in.” Kathy grabbed one too.
Even though Aunt Lucy and Mad had remained silent, Deli handed them both a hat, and then she turned to me. “This one is for you, Jill.”
