by Adele Abbott
“I’m best of breed. I should be in that competition.”
“What are you, anyway? I’ve often wondered.”
“I’m a cat, of course. Jeez, you’re even slower than I thought you were.”
“No, I meant—err—never mind.”
We eventually made it to the front of the moggies’ queue where an officious man looked down his nose at me. “Take your cat through to Hall ‘A’, then you and the little girl will have to go through to the main hall.”
“Can’t we stay with our cat?”
He sighed. “I assume this is your first time at one of these shows?”
I nodded.
“The cats have to be put in cages for the judging. When the judges have finished, you’ll be called through.”
“Why can’t we stay in there while they do the judging?”
He laughed. “You’d be surprised at the lengths some people will go to in order to influence the judges. This system ensures there’s no opportunity for anything untoward.”
We took Winky through to Hall ‘A’ and found the cage with his number on it. Lizzie’s friend and her mother were just a few cages down, so while I transferred Winky from his basket, Lizzie went to see her friend’s cat.
“Hey.” Winky began to struggle in my arms. “I’m not going in that thing.”
“You have to. Those are the rules.”
“Nobody told me I’d have to be behind bars.”
“I didn’t know about it. Stop being so melodramatic. It’s only until the judges have done their rounds.”
“What do I win anyway? It had better be worth my while.”
“I’ve no idea. Who says you’re going to win?”
“Of course I’ll win. Just look at the competition. Have you ever seen an uglier bunch?”
“Hi, I’m Elsie, Florence’s Mum.” Lizzie’s friend’s mother had come over to join me.
“Hi. I’m Jill.”
“Where’s Kathy?”
“She couldn’t make it. She’s—err—feeling a bit under the weather.”
“The hen night?” She laughed.
“How did you know?”
“She mentioned it to me the other day. Wait a minute. You said your name was Jill, didn’t you? Are you her sister?”
“That’s me.”
“Wasn’t it your hen night? How come you managed to make it today?”
“I didn’t really have a choice. I’d promised Lizzie.”
“We’re going through to the main hall to get a drink and a snack. Would you and Lizzie like to join us?”
“Sure, why not?”
“What about me?” Winky shouted after us.
I ignored him.
The muffins must have had small diamonds hidden inside them. It was the only thing that could have explained the ludicrous prices they were charging.
“How long does the judging normally take?” I said.
“When it’s just the local show, it’s usually no more than a half-hour, but because they’re judging the nationals too, I suspect it’ll be much longer. An hour and a half at least, I’d guess.”
“Auntie Jill! Auntie Jill!” Lizzie came running up to me; she looked close to tears.
“What’s wrong?”
“I forgot to put this on Winky.” She had a red collar in her hand. “I bought it especially for him.”
“Oh, well. Never mind.”
“But this is a lucky collar. He won’t win without it.”
“I suppose I could nip back and—”
“They won’t let you in,” Elsie said. “Not until the judging has finished.”
“Maybe they haven’t started yet.” I took the collar from Lizzie. “I’ll go and see. Is it okay for Lizzie to stay here with you?”
“Of course.”
I rushed back to Hall ‘A’ where I was confronted by Mr Jobsworth.
“I just need to put this collar on.”
“I don’t think it’ll fit you.” He chuckled at his own joke.
“Very funny. If I could just go back inside for a couple of minutes?”
“Sorry. No can do.”
“Has the judging actually started?”
“Not yet, but any minute now.”
“Well then. I’ll be in and out in no time.”
“Sorry. No entry until the judging has finished.”
I was never going to talk my way past him, so I found a quiet spot, and made myself invisible. Then, as I slipped unseen by Mr Jobsworth, I accidentally kicked him on the shins.
Whoops.
Once out of sight of the entrance, I reversed the ‘invisible’ spell. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Winky. He’d no doubt be livid because we’d left him alone in ‘prison’.
Boy, was I wrong.
“Winky? What’s going on?”
“Hey guys, this is my two-legged.” He stopped playing cards just long enough to introduce me to his fellow gamblers, but none of them seemed very interested in me.
“How did you all get out of your cages?”
“Those things?” He scoffed. “A two-week old kitten could get out of those.”
“What about the judges? If they see you—”
“Chillax. Benny’s keeping a lookout for them. What are you doing in here, anyway?”
“Lizzie wanted you to wear this lucky collar.”
“Nice colour.” He slipped it on. “You’d better make yourself scarce. We don’t want the judges to think you’re trying to bribe them.”
“Okay. Good luck.”
“I won’t need it, but thanks.”
I spotted a door through to Hall ‘B’, where the cats in the national competition were waiting to be judged, and I decided to take a quick look. The cats in there were much too busy preening and posing to start a card game.
I’d thought I was alone in the hall when I heard someone sneeze. And then sneeze again. Two men, wearing white coats, were standing close to the door at the opposite side of the hall.
“Stop sneezing!” the taller of the two said.
“I can’t help it. I told you I was allergic to them.”
Crouching below the cages, I made my way over to where the two men were standing. That’s when I spotted the word printed on the back of their coats: Jugde.
Jugde? Seriously? If they couldn’t even spell the word, how could they be qualified to judge anything?
“That’s it! Over there!” The shorter man pointed.
“Right. The other man picked up one of the cages. “Let’s go.”
And with that, they disappeared out of the door.
I made myself invisible again, so I could get past Mr Jobsworth—giving him a kick on his other shin, on my way past.
“Did you do it, Auntie Jill?” Lizzie said.
“Yes. Winky looks really good in his new collar.”
Five minutes later, an announcement came over the loudspeakers:
“Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but I’m sorry to report that Mr Sigmon has been stolen. If anyone sees him, please report it to one of the officials immediately.”
“Who’s Mr Sigmon?” I said to Elsie.
“He’s the number one Persian in the country. He was the clear favourite to win today.”
“Why would anyone want to steal him?”
“He’s worth a small fortune.”
“What’s happening, Auntie Jill?” Lizzie said. “When will we know if Winky has won?”
“It won’t be long. Elsie, I’m sorry to ask, but could you watch Lizzie again?”
“Of course.”
‘Jugde’? Those men were no more judges than I was, and I was pretty sure I knew what they’d been up to. I cast the ‘listen’ spell and waited. Sure enough, there was one sneeze followed by another. And then another.
I followed the sound to the indoor car park where I saw the men climb into an unmarked white Transit van.
I rushed over and pulled open the door. “I’ll take those.” I snatched the keys out of the ignit
ion.
“What do you think you’re doing?” the driver yelled.
“The next time you try something like this, I suggest you invest in a good dictionary.”
“What are you talking about? Give me back those keys.”
“I don’t think so.” I cast the ‘tie up’ spell, to bind them both hand and foot, then went in search of one of the security guards.
Back in the main hall, I re-joined Elsie and the girls just in time to hear the announcement:
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to report that Mr Sigmon has been found safe and well. The judging will now proceed as planned. Another announcement will be made when the judges have finished, and you can return to the hall.”
***
Late afternoon, when we arrived back at Kathy’s, she and Peter were looking slightly less zombie-like.
“Winky won!” Lizzie screamed.
“That’s fantastic, Pumpkin, but do you think you could speak a little quieter. Mummy has a headache.”
“Look, Mummy!” Lizzie held up the certificate and rosette. “Can I put them on my bedroom wall?”
“Of course you can. Daddy will help you, won’t you, Daddy?”
“Now?” Peter was obviously still feeling very fragile.
“Yes, please, Daddy.” Lizzie grabbed his hand.
“Okay, then. Come on.”
“I’m sorry about today, sis,” Kathy said when we were alone.
“It’s okay. It turned out to be more fun than I expected.”
“I can’t believe that ugly cat of yours won.”
“Apparently, they judge the moggies mainly on character. The head judge said Winky had more personality than any cat she’d ever encountered. He got a certificate and rosette too.”
“Are you going to stay for a drink?”
“No, thanks. I’d better get back to see how Jack of the walking dead is doing.”
Chapter 14
Early on Monday morning, I had a phone call from Blaze who called to thank me for the tip-off. He confirmed that they’d closed down the human blood sales in Mushroom. Plus, as a result of information given up by the barman, who was trying to save his own skin, Blaze thought they were now much closer to finding the ‘Mr Big’ who was behind the blood distribution network.
“We must never get divorced,” Jack said, over breakfast.
“We aren’t even married yet.”
“I know, but when we are, we must never get divorced. After yesterday’s hangover, I can’t go through another stag night.”
“Don’t expect any sympathy from me. You should take a leaf out of my book: Moderation in all things.”
“Like blueberry muffins?”
“That’s different.”
“And custard creams?”
“I seem to recall we were discussing your hangover.”
“I can’t believe that one-eyed cat of yours won the show.”
“That’s what Kathy said.”
“He didn’t speak to the judges, did he?”
“Of course he didn’t. I’m the only one who can hear him talk.”
“It must be great being able to talk to animals. I’ve often wondered what they’re thinking. Does Winky have many profound thoughts to share with you?”
“Not exactly. Most of the time, all he wants to talk about is salmon and his girlfriends.”
“Plural?”
“Oh, yes. There’s Judy, Daisy and—err—what’s the other one? Oh, yes, Trixie.”
“Wow! Who would have thought it? Just think, this time next week, we’ll be husband and wife. You’ll be Mrs Maxwell.”
“That reminds me. I’d better check that Mrs V has ordered my new sign. I’m hoping it’s going to be installed while we’re on honeymoon.”
My phone rang; it was Aunt Lucy.
“Jill? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but you don’t sound very good.”
“I’m not. I would have called yesterday, but I didn’t have the strength to pick up the phone.”
“Have you had the flu?”
“No. I’m still recovering from the hangover to end all hangovers. It’s my own fault. I’m calling because I seem to remember that you didn’t make it to the second nightclub, so I wanted to check you were okay.”
“I’m fine, but I think you should go back to bed.”
“Don’t worry, I intend to.”
“I’m going around to Pearl’s later, to see the two Lils.”
“Thank goodness I’m not meant to be babysitting today. I don’t think I’d be able to manage it. Say hello to the twins for me, would you?”
“I will. Now try to get some sleep.”
***
I’d tried numerous times to get hold of Graham Hardy, the fourth member of the bowling party, but he wasn’t picking up, and he hadn’t responded to my voicemails.
It was time for the direct approach.
“Graham Hardy?” I door-stepped him as he left his house.
“Who are you?”
“Jill Gooder. I tried calling you, but—”
“I have nothing to say to the press.”
“I’m not the press. I’m a private investigator.”
“I have nothing to say to you either.”
“Jack Maxwell said he thought you’d talk to me. He and I live together.”
“Oh, right, sorry. I didn’t realise who you were. I was just on my way to the shops.”
“I’d only need a few minutes of your time.”
“Sure, I can go to the shops anytime. I’ve got all the time in the world since I lost my job. Shall we go inside?”
We went through to the kitchen where he made us both a cup of tea.
“Sugar?”
“Yes, one and two-thirds spoonfuls, please.”
He gave me a puzzled look, and then passed me the sugar bowl.
“Do you live here alone, Graham?”
“Yeah. The wife left me the day after WashChem made me redundant.”
“Oh dear. I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It had been coming for a long time; losing my job was the last straw for Irene. She’s living with her sister now—the two of them deserve one another.” He managed a weak, but unconvincing smile. “Did you know that I left the bowling alley early on Tuesday night?”
“Yeah. Jack mentioned it. Can I ask why you had to leave?”
“My brother hasn’t been well. I had a phone call to say he’d been taken into hospital.”
“I’m sorry. Is he okay?”
“He’s doing better now, thanks.”
“Did you hear that Chris Jardine has been charged with Bill’s murder?”
“Yes. I suppose it was only a matter of time before he found out about Bill and Sarah, but I never thought he’d do something like this.”
“You knew about the affair, then?”
“I’ve known about it for a while. I saw Bill and Sarah together.”
“Did you say anything to Chris?”
“No. It wasn’t my place to interfere in his marriage.”
“I’ve spoken to Chris since he was arrested. He maintains he had no idea that his wife was seeing Bill.”
Graham shrugged.
“Don’t you believe him?”
“It’s not for me to say, but if I knew about it, I’d be surprised if Chris didn’t.”
We’d finished, and I was on my way out of the door.
“Thanks for your time and for the tea.”
“No problem.”
“Incidentally, which hospital is your brother in?”
“Washbridge General. Why?”
“No reason.”
I called Jack.
“I’ve just spoken to Graham Hardy. It seems he knew that Sarah and Bill were having an affair. If he knew, there must be a chance that Chris did too.”
“I didn’t know anything about it.”
“Yes, but then you are the world’s least observant person.”
“Thanks.”
�
��Do you know Graham’s brother?”
“I’ve never met him. Graham mentions him occasionally. From what I can make out, he hasn’t been in the best of health for a while. I’m sorry, but I have to get going—I have a meeting with my boss in ten minutes. I’ll see you tonight. Love you.”
“Love you, too. See you later.”
***
I’d promised to go to Pearl’s house, to see the two Lils.
Amber answered the door. “We’re in the kitchen. Come on through.”
“Hiya, Jill.” Pearl was just putting the kettle on. “Tea?”
“I’ve only just had one but go on then.”
“I have custard creams.”
“I would hope so too. Where are Lil and Lil?”
“In the lounge.”
“Can I take a quick peep? I won’t wake them.”
“It’s okay. They’re not asleep.”
Fastened into their baby seats, the two Lils were both gooing with joy, as they watched the show which had been put on for their benefit. A show that was being performed by a dozen or more soft toys, which had apparently come to life.
“Amber! Pearl! Have you got a minute?”
The twins came rushing through to the lounge.
“What’s wrong?” Amber sounded panic-stricken. “Is my Lil okay?”
“They’re both okay.”
“You scared me to death,” Pearl scolded me.
“Sorry, but I seem to recall you told Aunt Lucy that under no circumstances could she use magic to amuse the Lils.”
“Oh, that,” Pearl said, sheepishly.
“Yes, that. This looks to me like a case of do as I say, not as I do.”
“They take such a lot of entertaining,” Amber said.
“I’m sure they do. That’s why Aunt Lucy is shattered by the time she hands them back each day.”
“You won’t tell her, will you?” Pearl said.
“No, I won’t.”
“Phew.”
“Because you two are going to tell her.”
“We can’t. She’ll kill us.”
“I don’t care. It’s your own fault. You have to let her know that it’s okay for her to use magic to entertain Lil and Lil when she needs to.”
