by K. A. Linde
What the hell am I thinking? I couldn’t leave my entire life behind to run away to Vegas.
Could I?
TRIHN COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
Ever since Cassidy had asked her to go to Las Vegas, it was like a virus infecting her brain. She silently weighed the pros and cons of what that could mean for her life and also wondered if it would even be possible for her to start at LV State on such short notice. The fact that she was thinking about it at all worried her.
Her father had sent her back home, so she could cool off about what was going on with Lydia. But the longer Trihn was here, the more she saw Preston on every corner. It didn’t matter how many times she had been in the city before him. Somehow, the summer had reshaped her worldview on her own hometown. He was everywhere. And worse yet, he would be everywhere with Lydia in the fall.
Trihn’s stomach couldn’t handle it. Maybe if Lydia and Preston were separated, then she could stay in New York and begin to fix her relationship with Lydia. She could change the way she saw every corner and diner and coffee shop that she associated with Preston. They could be sisters having fun at the same college. It could be fine.
But Lydia had chosen to stay with Preston, and they weren’t fine.
And it was worse than that. She had always looked up to Lydia. Trihn had wanted to be her so badly when she was younger. They had gone to the same private school. They had danced at the same dance studio. It only made sense for them to move in together and go to college together. They shared everything—even a boyfriend.
If I move in with Lydia and go to NYU, would I grow to be the better person I want to be?
“Are you okay?” Ian asked.
Trihn had almost forgotten that he was driving as they went to the NYC Dance House to pick up Renée and fill her in on what had happened.
“Maybe. Cassidy just gave me a lot to think about.”
“Well, I’m trying not to think about all the offers I got while in that place.” His blush reached his ears. “And you wanted to dance there?”
She nodded. “I did.”
“I never would have guessed.”
“You’ve known me my whole life, and I’m still full of surprises.”
“I like you that way,” he said with a smile.
“Yeah,” she whispered, leaning against the door and looking out at her city as it sped by.
Renée was waiting for them on the front steps of the Dance House when they drove up. Her black hair was tied up into a sleek bun, and she had on a pink skirt over her tights and leotard.
“I see how it is,” Trihn said as Renée climbed into the SUV. “Can’t even bother to get decent for us.”
Renée threw her dance bag into the back and plopped down. “I don’t want to hear it from you, missy. You ran away from home.”
“Technically, I ran to home,” Trihn corrected her.
“Well, fill me in on the details, and let’s get something to eat. I’m starving. I need a burger.”
“So, you’re not on the Juilliard diet yet?”
Renée grabbed a pointe shoe from her bag and threw it at the back of Trihn’s head. Trihn dodged it and laughed.
“Oh, hey, Ian,” Renée said. “Long time no see.”
“Good to see you again. Congratulations on Juilliard,” Ian said, veering them out of Manhattan and back toward Trihn’s home in Brooklyn.
“And you’ll be at…Columbia?” she asked.
“Yeah, that’s right. We’ll both be on the Upper West Side.”
“That’s still terrifying to me. Moving from the Bronx to the Upper anything,” she admitted. Renée shuddered. “All right. Give me the deets.”
So, Trihn filled her in on everything that she had missed while Trihn was on vacation. All the sordid details of the past week spilled out of her in a long, detailed diatribe. It sounded pretty awful and pathetic when it was all displayed in that fashion. She kind of hated herself for allowing something like this to happen, but mostly, she despised Preston for the kind of person he turned women into. She and Lydia were supposed to be strong, independent women, and they were both acting like idiots over a man.
They reached Trihn’s place by the end of the conversation, and they all bustled inside. Trihn started whipping up sandwiches for them since most of the good places nearby were closed. She could have ordered in, but it was somehow calming to have something to do while she finished her story.
“So, I went to see Cassidy,” Trihn told Renée and Ian.
He was still listening to the story he already knew, but this next part would be new to him.
“Cassidy Kincaid?” Renée asked, her eyes wide. “You still hang out with her?”
Trihn nodded. “I’ve been dancing with her after the studio closes for about two years now.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“No one else really got along with her. She didn’t fit the ballerina mold,” Trihn explained. “And she’s not dancing ballet anymore. She’s been working in a burlesque club and pole dancing.”
“Wow. Good for her,” Renée said.
“Wait, really?”
“Yeah. I mean, she was a great ballerina, but I could see her being amazing at anything. Plus, I bet she’s happier in that atmosphere, doing what she loves.”
“She is,” Trihn agreed. “She offered me a job pole dancing, but then she was offered a job for a Cirque show in Las Vegas.”
“Holy shit! That’s fantastic!”
“Wow,” Ian said. Even he was impressed.
“Yeah.” Trihn looked down at her hands. “She asked me to go with her.”
Both of her best friends were silent. She peeked up at them, and they both looked stunned.
“But you start school in a few weeks,” Ian reasoned.
“And what would you do there? What about fashion design?” Renée asked.
“I know. I know. I told her I’d think about it.”
“Are you thinking about it?” Renée asked at the same time as Ian said, “Seriously?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I’m tired of living in Lydia’s shadow, and I can’t live with her if she’s with Preston. I told her that, but I don’t think she believes me. I can’t do it.”
“That doesn’t mean you walk away from everything!” Ian said.
“Shh,” Renée chided him. “This isn’t our decision. You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Trihn nodded. “I think I am. I mean, at least I’m seriously considering it. Renée, you’re going to Juilliard to pursue your dreams, and, Ian, you’re going to Columbia to pursue yours.”
“Aren’t you going to NYU to pursue yours?” Ian asked. “Fashion design?”
“Yeah. I want to design fashion, but I also don’t want to give up everything else in my life to do it. It’s not wrong to want to pursue all your dreams, is it?” Trihn asked.
She didn’t want to stop dancing, and maybe one day, she would even want to model again. She felt so limited, quitting everything else to pursue just one thing. That wasn’t what college was supposed to be about. It was supposed to broaden her horizons, not limit them.
“It sounds crazy,” Ian said.
Renée shrugged. “A little crazy, but if you think it’s right, then do it.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what feels right,” Trihn told them.
“Take this time while you’re here, without your family telling you what to do, and you’ll figure it out.” Renée covered Trihn’s hand with her own. “Do what’s best for you. If that means staying in New York and going to NYU but getting a dorm with a stranger and not living with Lydia, then do that. If it means making amends with Lydia and starting fresh, that’s fine, too. If it means taking this opportunity to go to Las Vegas…well, that’s up to you, too. You have to think about you. It’s the only way you’ll be happy.”
Trihn took the next two days to think over Cassidy’s offer. She didn’t want to just jump into something crazy, but she did want to actually consid
er it.
On the day that her family was supposed to come back to the city, she had made up her mind. She dialed Cassidy’s number and waited.
“Hello?” Cassidy answered.
“Cassidy?” Trihn said.
“Hey, Trihn! You caught me at a good time. I was just packing a bunch of stuff for Las Vegas and sending it with the movers.”
“That’s really awesome.”
“Why does it sound like this is the last time I’m going to hear from you?” Cassidy asked.
Trihn took a deep breath. “I’ve made up my mind about your offer, and I just wanted to call and talk to you about it.”
“Well, will you at least promise to come visit?” Cassidy asked. “It’s supposed to be so much fun there.”
Trihn’s stomach flipped as she broke the news to her friend, “I’m in.”
EXPLAINING TO HER FATHER over the phone that she’d be moving to Las Vegas the day they came back from vacation was easier than she’d thought it would be.
“I understand,” he said into the phone. “I thought the distance would make you decide that you wanted to make up with your sister, but it seems that’s not the case.”
“No. I think I’m ready for something new, somewhere else. I want to be my own person.”
“And not follow behind Lydia?” he asked.
“Exactly. And this isn’t all about Lydia either. I was offered something amazing. I’m only young once, and I want to embrace it.”
“I always knew my wild child was still in there,” he said with a laugh.
She ended the call with tears in her eyes as she packed a suitcase. She was supposed to meet Cassidy at the airport in a couple of hours. She was only bringing enough stuff to get her through the first week or two before classes started. Her dad had agreed to send the rest to her once they had things sorted out with the university, and she had her own place.
She still couldn’t believe that she was going to move across the country, but at the same time, she was so excited.
Trihn called for a cab to take her to LaGuardia Airport. With her luggage, a cab would be way easier than dealing with the subway.
Nearly an hour later, the cab driver was unloading her bags in front of the terminal. She paid him and watched him drive away.
This was real. It was really happening.
She wheeled her luggage inside and printed off her boarding pass. Her phone chimed.
Already through security! Easy, peasy.
Trihn laughed at the message from Cassidy.
A knot formed in her throat, and she tried to hold back the tears. No matter how right the decision felt, she was still leaving her home behind and without even a proper good-bye.
As she walked toward security, she said her own farewell to her family. She knew they would visit, and she would be back for the holidays, but it wouldn’t be the same.
“Trihn!”
Trihn whipped around in confusion as her name was yelled from across the terminal. What the hell?
And there was Lydia, dashing across the room like a madwoman. She stopped in front of Trihn and rested her hands on her knees, breathing heavily.
“What are you doing here, Lydia?” Trihn asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Dad…told us…in the car,” Lydia said.
“And what? You made him drive you here, hoping to catch me?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. What are you doing here?”
“You can’t leave! Las Vegas, Trihn? What the hell is that?” Lydia asked, catching her breath.
“I can leave. In fact, I already have my ticket and my bags packed, and I’m leaving now.”
“You can’t do this because of me,” Lydia said.
“Why is everything always about you, Lydia? I’m doing this for me. I’m doing this because I was given a great opportunity, and I can study fashion anywhere. I don’t need to be here in the city.”
“But we were supposed to live together.”
“You made your choice about that,” Trihn said. “I’m making my choice. This is my choice.”
“You’re overreacting about this whole thing, and you’re going to regret it.”
“No,” Trihn said, “you will.”
“He didn’t even love you,” Lydia said harshly.
Trihn cringed. No, she knew that. He hadn’t loved her. That was fine. She could move on…eventually. “Well, he doesn’t love you either.”
“Yes, he does,” Lydia said. Her voice was indignant.
“Did he tell you that we slept together?” Trihn finally admitted.
She hated bringing it up, but Lydia had to know. She had to know everything even if it was utterly humiliating to Trihn.
“Well, I figured as much.”
“At the beach house,” Trihn clarified.
“What?” Lydia asked in surprise.
“Yep. Your precious boyfriend, the one who claims to love you, slept with me when he knew that we were related and after he knew you two were ‘serious,’” Trihn said, putting air quotes around the last word. “He doesn’t love you. He’s just using you like he uses everyone else.”
“You slept with him in the Hamptons?”
Trihn paled and nodded. To her greatest regret and shame, she’d done it..
“So…it wasn’t just him. My own sister was in on it.” Lydia’s hands shook. “When?”
“Lydia—”
“When?” she demanded.
“The night of the Petersons’ party.”
Lydia covered her mouth. “We had sex the next morning.”
“I know.” She swallowed hard. “I heard it.”
“Where?”
“Why are we doing this?” Trihn asked. “You don’t need all the details. It happened. It was a mistake. I’m sorry that we did it, but you have to know now that Preston is a dirty scumbag. He’s not right for you. He’s not right for anyone!”
“Where?” Lydia repeated crossly.
Trihn sighed and huffed, “On the pool deck.”
“How could you do this to me?” Lydia asked. Tears welled in her eyes, and she looked like someone had kicked her puppy.
“I didn’t mean to do anything to you, Lydia. It’s Preston. He’s the manipulator. Can’t you see that?” Trihn reached for Lydia’s hands and held them tight together.
Lydia wrenched out of her grasp. “I see all right. I see fine now. You want him for yourself. That’s what this whole thing is about.”
“What?” Trihn asked, dumbfounded. “I do not want to be with Preston.”
“You think he’s the manipulator and he’s the bad person, but he’s not the only one, Trihn. You are too. You don’t care about me,” she said, taking a step away from her sister.
“I do care! Of course I care!” Trihn said.
“If you cared, then why didn’t you tell me when you first knew I was dating Preston? Why did you wait several days? How could you fuck him behind my back? I was at the party, waiting for him to return, and you had sex with him.” Lydia looked at her like she didn’t even know her own sister.
Trihn couldn’t explain. “I loved him,” she whispered.
But it was the wrong thing to say.
“Of course you did,” Lydia said sarcastically. “That’s the reason you slept with him that night…because you loved him. Are you sure it wasn’t because you wanted something that was mine, just like you always have?”
Trihn’s mouth dropped open. “I didn’t.”
“Save it for someone who will believe you.” Lydia wiped a tear from her eye. “You know I was coming here to tell you to come home. I was going to tell you that if it meant that much to you…I wouldn’t work things out with Preston. I like him—a lot,” she said, her eyes going wide, “a lot more than anyone else I’ve dated. Maybe I love him. But I would have ended it because I love my sister that much. Now…I think maybe you should get on that plane.”
“Lydia, you can’t be serious.”
“I am serious.”
> Trihn stared at her sister in shock. “I made a mistake. I slept with a guy who I thought I loved and who I’d dated seriously all summer. My first real boyfriend. I was—I am heartbroken. I went to tell you what happened, Lydia, and your response went from breakup to make up in a few short hours. You didn’t care about my feelings. You don’t care about how I’m feeling right now.”
Trihn crossed her arms over her chest and glanced away from her sister. “And then you chose him over me without hesitating. So, maybe you’re right. Maybe I should get on that plane. Because I know what is waiting for me if I stay,” she said, turning to boldly stare at her sister, “and it’s not so welcoming.”
“I told you that I didn’t think it had to be a choice. You’re the one who chose,” Lydia said.
“Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that. What did you expect me to do? After what happened at the beach house, there was no going back, not with the kind of person Preston is. I mean, what kind of guy leaves his girlfriend who is perfectly willing to have sex with him to seek out her drunk sister in the middle of the night?” Trihn raised her eyebrows in question.
When Lydia didn’t have an immediate answer, Trihn nodded her head. “That’s what I thought.” She picked up her suitcase off the ground where she had left it and headed for security.
“So, you’re just going to leave?” Lydia cried.
Trihn turned back to her sister and shrugged. “You left first.”
As she walked into the line and handed her boarding pass to the person at security, a sad smile hit her face. She knew she was moving in the right direction even if she felt like she was in a free fall. Her plans were uncertain. Her potential career choices might be going up in flames. Her life was a total mess.
But she couldn’t be happy here.
“Final destination, Las Vegas.” The woman smiled at her. “Business or pleasure?”
Trihn smiled back. “Both.”
The End
THANK YOU to each and every one of you who helped me write this novel. It was hands-down one of the hardest things I’d ever written because I was so busy getting married and moving. So, thank you to the people who put in the hours to ensure I got through this book and helped every step of the way: Jessica Carnes, Rebecca Kimmerling, Diana Peterfreund, Lori Francis, Polly Matthews, Christy Peckham, Katie Miller, Lauren Blakely, all the girls of FYW, Jovana Shirley of Unforeseen Editing, Sarah Hansen of Okay Creations, Jenn Sterling, and many, many more!
