I bite my lips, and boldly right in huge letters across the cast: Alexandria.
“Perfect,” he murmured smiling down at me. My tummy did a slight flip flop.
“Do you want to have lunch with me?” I questioned. “We have a table outside.” I said pointing through the glass windows at the sprawling outdoor campus. Most people chose to eat outside instead of in the stifling cafeteria. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Nathan. I knew that I already had it bad.
“Sure.” He replied. “You want me to carry those for you?” he took the heavy books from my hands.
We walked through the corridors towards the outside campus and I could see every girl staring at us, looking pissed. Some of their eyes shifted to his cast and their eyes widened when they saw my name branded unto his cast. Even Evelyn gasped out loud as we passed.
I snap back to the present when I see Ryan and Jonathon approaching us with large cups in their hands.
Ryan walks straight up to Laura and whispers in her ears. She giggles quietly. They would make a cute couple.
“Where’s Kade?” I ask Jon as he reaches down to give me a hug. He points behind me, and I see him. Evelyn has her arms wrapped around his neck. They are kissing. I can see her lips moving across his and I almost hurl.
I see someone passing around shots and I grab two. The amber liquid of the first two shots burns my throat and I reach for another.
“Damn Alex!” Ryan exclaims. “You’re a party animal tonight.” I feel better after my fourth shot. And numb.
I know that I am overreacting. It’s not the first time that I have seen Kade kissing another girl. In fact I have seen it many times but it has never hurt quite like this before.
Chapter 5
Kade
After prying Evelyn’s fingers from around my neck, I finally walk around looking for Alex.
I see her dancing to some song, laughing with her hands in the air. She loves dancing and is really good at it. I smile and walk towards her. She is surrounded by her friends and some random guys. She is wearing a tight, very short black dress. That’s when I notice that she is stumbling and her golden eyes are unfocused and glazed over.
“Alex?” I question as I walk into their dancing circle.
“Kade,” she slurs, walking haphazardly towards me. “Hey!” she smiles throwing her little hands around my neck.
“Lex?” I question. “Are you drunk? How many shots did you take?”
I notice that guys are looking at her body appreciatively but they quickly walk away when I give them my hard stare.
“Just five.” she says, holding up eight fingers.
I look worriedly at Kayla. She shrugs. “I tried to tell her to slow down.” She whispers into my ear.
“C’mon!” Alex shouts “Dance … wif me.” She places my hands on her hips and moves her body slowly over mine.
Her hands move slowly up and down my arms. I can see Nathaniel in the distance staring at us. I glare at him.
“Umm ... no. I’m taking you home.” I take her hand and lead her through the throng of swaying bodies.
I pick her up when she stumbles over some rocks, place her in my jeep’s passenger seat and buckle her in.
Driving away from the beach I hear her mumbling.
“Kade, I really need to … talk to you.” She slurs.
“Ok... what’s the matter?” I question.
“I…stayed up so late last night thinking of you… and and I really need to tell you something,” she whispers. When I look over at her, her eyes are closed.
I try to focus on the road. “Lex…what are you talking about?”
“I fink I might love you,” she says touching my legs, “a little” she adds with a giggle.
“I love you too.” I laugh.
“No! No… like… I love you… I am… in love wif... you.” She jabs her finger into my cheek to emphasize her point.
I almost drive off the road.
“What are you talking about Alex? You are drunk…” Why is this happening now? Why can’t she be sober? How long have I waited for her to say this? For her to realize that we were meant for each other.
“Kade…” she unbuckles her seat belt.
“What are you doing? Put back on your seatbelt!” I shout.
Before I know it she is on top of me, straddling me. Thankfully she is tiny and I can still see over her head. My vision blurs however, when she start nibbling on my neck.
“Jesus,” I moan. “Alex…” her tongue moves up to my ear. And I almost lose it.
I pull into her driveway and pull her face away from my neck. I cradle her face in my hands.
“I love you.” She repeats. She leans towards me staring at my lips. It takes everything in me to turn my face away.
“Alex, you are very drunk. Let me take care of you. And I promise we will talk about this tomorrow.” I hear the words coming out of my mouth in a monotone, when all I want to do is kiss her.
I tell myself that it won’t mean a thing if she doesn’t remember. She is one of those people who forget everything when she gets too drunk. I place my hands on her hip, savoring the feel of her body on top of mine for a few more seconds and gently try to move her back into her seat.
She stares at me dejectedly and crawls back into her seat. She closes her eyes and places her head hard against the car’s glass window.
“Alex?” I question, but she doesn’t answer, she’s already passed out. I pick her up and walk her into her bedroom. I place a glass of water and some pills by her dresser. She will need it in the morning. I give her a soft kiss on her cheeks and tuck her in under her covers.
I will come back and see her first thing tomorrow morning. And we can finally be honest with each other. I can finally stop wasting time with other girls. She will be mine.
Chapter 6
Alex
I wake up and my head is pounding. I see a glass of water and some Tylenol on my dresser and quickly gulp it down. Feeling dizzy, I take a cold shower and wash my hair, memories of the night before playing behind my eyes hazily. What happened last night? What did I do? I have to call Kade.
The last thing I remember is seeing Kade and Evelyn making out… I had gotten upset and proceeded to get shit faced drunk afterwards. I sigh, dejectedly, as I sit in front of my mirror running a comb through my wet hair. Kade has always been a bit of a player. Maybe it’s time that I realize that Kade and I could never be anything more than just friends. Trying to mess with our dynamic was a huge mistake. I need to talk to him and explain that nothing means more to me than our friendship. I will never sacrifice that for anything or anyone… even my own selfish feelings. He is happy playing the field. He always tells me that. He is not looking for anything serious. What the hell was I thinking??
Picking up my phone to call Kade I see that there is already a text message from him.
Kade: Morning Alex. Let me know as soon as u r up. We need to talk.
I grimace.
Me: I’m up…
I pull a pink top and shorts out of my closet and head downstairs. As soon as I hit the bottom steps, I hear the doorbell ringing. Kade?
I open the door and standing in front of me is Nathan.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him coldly.
“I came to apologize, Alex… I am really sorry. I was a complete douchebag the past few weeks. I am so so sorry.” He looks genuinely upset and my heart melts just a little. I look up at him trying to figure out what to do. He moves some of my wet hair out of my eyes and continues solemnly, “You mean so much to me, Alex. More than I want to admit to myself. Whenever I see you my heart speeds up. My body moves towards you without any permission from my brain.” His blue eyes plead with me and he repeats, “I am sorry.”
“It’s okay Nathan…” I begin.
“No. It’s not okay. I began dating you knowing that you and Kade are best friends, knowing how much you two care about each other. I am sorry that I tried to come in between that... I am asking for
another chance. I can show you that I care for you, Alex.” He takes my hand into his. “Please give me another chance.”
I hesitate. “Please...” he repeats.
He takes me into his arms. He is not as big as Kade, but I still feel comfortable and safe in his hold. He was a good boyfriend … before all of this jealousy and he will be a good distraction from my feelings for Kade.
“Ok, Nathan.” I hear myself saying. He smiles at me warmly, his blue eyes brightening immediately. We walk hand in hand into my house where my mom makes us pancakes with lots of syrup.
Kade
I think that I am going to have an anxiety attack as I drive slowly to Alex’s house. Even though I am feeling anxious, I am still very excited that I can finally come clean about these feelings that I have been having for her. She has no idea how hard it has been watching her with other guys – especially Nathan. If we come clean with each other I can finally stop wasting my time with random girls. I don’t know why it has taken me so long to make a move. But If I was going to be honest with myself I would have to admit that I did try to kiss Alex once. It was a year ago. Summer Break. She had just broken up with an asshole who had cheated on her and we decided to go celebrate at a club using fake ID’s.
We walked into the club hand in hand. As soon as we stepped inside, she began taking shots – something she preferred to regular drinks – she always says that other mixed drinks and beer just make her pee every five minutes.
I sat at the bar with Jon and Ryan and looked at her as she danced with Laura and Kayla. She was so beautiful. She caught me staring and walked up to me. She placed her hands around my neck and danced seductively between my legs. There was a slow, sexy song playing, and with the alcohol buzzing in my head my entire body felt warm. As she moved her body slowly over mine, I felt my hands travelling up and down her waist. She was looking up at me her lips slightly upturned and I felt my head lowering down to hers. Suddenly Kayla stood between us dragging Alex through the door gesturing for me to follow. It was time to go.
Neither of us ever made mention of that night. I think that we were both too afraid to even think of it.
But I am tired of being afraid.
Pulling up to her house I am shocked when I see Alex and Nathan on her porch. Nathan is holding her hands and she is looking up at him. I see them talking, and suddenly he pulls her into a long embrace.
Oh, God… no. I should stop this; I should get out of my car …
But I stay in the car, immobilized watching their make-up unfold before me. She looks up at him and smiles and they walk hand in hand into her house.
I don’t know how long I stared at her empty porch. One minute I was staring at the porch and another I was in my room punching a wall.
I spend the rest of my Sunday in my bedroom watching movies on mute and sinking into a deep, deep depression. I don’t think that I can do this much longer. I am a simple guy. I hate drama.
“Will I need to stage an intervention?” Jacob asks as he walks into my room. I stare at the clock behind his head and see that it is already 8:00 pm. I hadn’t moved from this spot since I came back home this morning.
I sigh loudly, not in the mood for his antics.
“Listen,” he says flopping down on the love seat that sits parallel to my bed. “I can’t stand this moping around shit for much longer. What is the big deal here? Tell her how you feel!”
I am surprised; I had never spoken to Jacob about my feelings for Alex.
“No idea what you’re talking about.” I grumble. Of all my brothers, Jacob and I are the closest, probably because we are only a year apart. We were always arguing playfully, but truth be told, if anything were to ever happen to him, I don’t know what I would do. He knew me better than most people.
“You act like a caveman around her, Kade. You don’t like it when any other guy is near her. Everyone can see that you guys are into each other except for the two of you.” He finishes vehemently.
“Some advice?” he questions as he stands up to leave.
“I wasn’t asking for advice.” I place a pillow over my head.
“Just lay it out there. Pull her aside like the caveman that you are. I can lend you a club! I have one upstairs.” He jokes.
“I wish it were that easy. She got back with Nathan.” I confess, my voice muffled from beneath the pillow.
“What??! They just broke up! Why didn’t you make a move?”
“What did you expect me to do?! Jump on her?” I exclaim sitting up on my bed.
He nods his head. “Yes! That’s exactly what you should have done!”
“I couldn’t do that to her, I wanted to give her some time to get over him.” I finish lamely. I sounded pathetic even to myself.
Jacob sighs loudly as he walks through my bedroom door.
“Everything will work out the way it is supposed to,” he calls over his shoulder. “But try to be proactive next time. Because they will break up again. Alex loves you too.” I stare at his back as he exits my room.
Maybe I should just let this go. I know that Nathan isn’t a bad guy for her, but we never did get along.
The first day that I saw Alex and Nathan together was probably the day that I realized that I had feelings for Alex. Our usual group was hanging out for lunch around a picnic table on campus. I looked at my watch wondering where Alex was. I was just about to get up and go look for her, when I saw her ambling towards us with a tallish guy in tow. This was the new guy that I had been hearing about all morning. They walked towards the group of us, and their chemistry was palpable.
“Hey Guys!” Alex exclaimed, her cheeks flushing prettily. “This is Nathan.”
“Hey,” new guy said. Alex walked towards me and gave me my customary kiss on the cheek and my hand slipped around her waist. “Hi, your day is going good?” she questioned.
“Yeah,” I replied, holding onto her a little longer than I usually did.
“Come sit with me, Nathan.” She said as she turned away from me and patted a seat beside her.
He looked confused for a few seconds looking at me as if he wanted to ask permission first.
When I didn’t respond and turned my eyes away from his, he sat beside her. Soon he was laughing and talking to the lot of us, fitting in like a glove. I hated him immediately. I looked on as Alex’s eyes sparkled whenever he spoke.
As easy as that he became part of the group. Even Ryan and Jon were joking around with him. I was going to beat the shit out of Ryan for this. From the pieces of conversation around me I found out that he would be joining us at the beach for the weekend. Great.
That evening I drove Alex home and she looked extremely excited. She was practically bouncing in her seat.
“You’ve been awfully quiet,” she stated taking my right hand into her lap.
“I’m just … tired, I guess.” But in my mind I am thinking about Nathan and Alex and the way that Nathan looked at Alex when lunch was over. They had exchanged numbers and Alex blushed as Nathan waved goodbye to her.
“So… what do you think of Nathan?” Alex asked cautiously.
“He seems … nice” I said carefully.
“Doesn’t he?!?! She exclaimed. “I really think that I’m gonna like him, Kade.” She concluded her hands tightening around mine.
“As long as you’re happy, love” I stated even though I felt a sudden panic rising within me. Where was this reaction coming from? It wasn’t the first boy Alex had ever liked.
As I pulled into her drive way, I heard her phone buzzing, it was a text message.
“It’s Nathan!!” she exclaimed, happiness flooding her eyes. She opened the door to leave kissing me softly on my cheeks.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at the beach ok? Love you.” She said as she jumped down from her seat.
“I love you too,” I replied but she had already slammed my car door and was skipping into her house.
When I drove home that day, I sat on my bed for a long time staring into space. Y
ou’re overreacting. I told myself. It’s not like they’re getting married. They’ve only known each other for 24 hours. They might not even like each other after this weekend ... Yup. Completely overreacting.
My phone buzzes beside me breaking me out of my thoughts and I see that it is a text from Evelyn.
Ev: Hey, What are you up to? Can I come over?
I check the clock and see that it is nearly eleven. Even though we have school in the morning, I text her back immediately.
Me: Yes.
Anything to make my mind forget.
Chapter 7
Kade
Alex: Hey, didn’t see you at school today. Are you sick? Do you want me to make you some soup?
Me: You know you can’t make soup.
Alex: Shut up. I’ll ask mom to make it. I’m Coming over.
Me: No, no. I’m Fine. I will see you tomorrow, ok?
A few minutes later she replies.
Alex: Ok. I Love you.
I stare at my phone and her words for twenty minutes straight.
I place my phone back on my side table, and stare up at my ceiling. If I don’t move out of this room soon, I know that it will take me longer to get out of this depression. Evelyn had left around three that morning. I thought that I would feel tired after she left, but my eyes stayed open all night up until I heard my alarm going off at 7:00 am. I decided that I didn’t have the stomach to see Nathan and Alex hugging and kissing all day so I skipped school.
“Kade?” I hear my mom questioning. I look up and she walks slowly into my bedroom.
“What’s going on? I haven’t seen you all day. What’s wrong?” She questions as she looks over my disheveled appearance.
“Nothing, Mom.” I reply.
“Don’t lie to me. Is everything ok? Did something happen with Alex?” Worry washed over her face.
“I wish,” I murmur. She stares at me, understanding immediately dawning over her expression.
She walks over to my bed and sits on the very edge. “I was wondering when this was going to happen. I honestly thought that it would happen sooner…” she trails off.
I sit up slowly. “Mom, I don’t know what to do. I’m … I’m in love with her,” I confess. I could never lie to my mom.
Kade Loves Alex Page 3
