She wanted to agree. A part of Shelby wanted to give Caleb that out. Let him off the hook. But by doing that, she heaped guilt on Meg’s head and she wasn’t willing to do that.
“You know what?” Shelby said with a slow shake of her head. “No. It’s not your fault. You did the right thing four years ago just like I did the right thing. Caleb should know that.”
“Yes, but—”
“No. If he doesn’t want to trust me, then he has to do it for real reasons. For things I’ve done—well, okay I did run out on my wedding, so yeah. But I didn’t do it to Caleb. Why should he expect that I’d be untrustworthy? I’m practically a golden retriever I’m so loyal.”
“A dog?”
“And he should know that,” Shelby said, getting angrier the longer she thought about it. “We’ve been together nonstop for nearly two weeks. And in dating time, that’s like two years or something—”
“Well, two years is—”
“He should know me better,” Shelby continued, talking to herself more than Meg. She stared out the window at Caleb’s broad back and half expected him to turn around and look at her just from the power of her stare. “And if he doesn’t know me better than this, then he should have told me what he was thinking. Heck, he’s still mad at you and Mitch for not talking to him.
“Told me himself that I should have talked to Jared, but he doesn’t have to talk. No, not the great Caleb Mackenzie. He gets to keep his secrets,” Shelby muttered, warming now to her rant and letting it all out as she stared down at the man she loved. The man she was suddenly furious with.
“He just walks out and then ignores me. Does he tell me why? No. Did he hope I’d just go away? Slink out of town to make his life easier? Well, why would I do that? He should have talked to me, damn it. He’s acting like a child and I don’t like it one bit.”
“Shelby—”
“Why should I go back to Chicago?”
“Who said you should?” Meg was watching her warily.
“Caleb tried, but why does he get a say in what I do when he won’t even talk to me? No, I don’t want to go back. I was going to anyway, because it was too hard to be here and not be with Caleb. But that would make it easy on him, wouldn’t it? And why should I do him any favors? Why does he get it easy when he’s the reason this is all happening?”
“Um,” Meg said, “I don’t know.”
“If Caleb Mackenzie wants to ignore me, then I’m going to make him work for it.” Shelby turned around and headed for the door, riding a wave of anger. “I’m staying in Texas. I’m staying in Royal. And I’m going to start up my business and I’m going to be so successful he’ll hear my name everywhere he goes.”
“That’s great, but—”
Shelby stopped at the threshold and looked back at her friend. “The good news is, I’ll be here to help you make this room fabulous. And I’m going to help Lucy Curran, too. And help Alexis run the auction. And we’ll design your new baby’s room together, too, and when you’re ready to add on the new wing, we can plan it all out together.”
“Yay?” Meg said, clearly a little shocked at how quickly Shelby had moved from misery, to sympathy to fury. “Um, where are you going now?”
“To tell that stoic cowboy that he loves me. And to let him know that if he can’t trust me, then it’s his loss.” She didn’t wait to see if Meg had a response.
Shelby took the wide staircase at a fast clip, crossed the elegantly appointed hall and went out the front door. She walked straight to the corral and paused only when the kids rushed up to her.
“Sheby!” Jack looked up and shouted, “I get a puppy!”
Shelby’s heart melted a little at the way Jack mutilated her name.
Julie was there, too. “We get a puppy! He’s mine, too.”
“Is not.”
“Is, too.”
Mitch came over, scooped up both kids into his arms and grinned at Shelby before telling his kids, “It’s my puppy! Let’s go find Mom so we can go get that poor dog that’s going to be killed with love.”
“Yay!” The twins shouted in excitement as their father carried them off to the house. Then she turned back to Caleb, still in the corral, busily ignoring her.
Now that she knew what was behind his behavior in the last few days, she was torn. She loved him. And she was furious with him. She wanted to kiss him and kick him. Shelby wondered if most women felt that way.
“Caleb!”
He glanced over his shoulder at her. “I’m busy.”
“That’s too bad,” she said and kept walking. She was wearing her pale green camp shirt, white capris and completely inappropriate sandals to be walking through the dirt, but that couldn’t be helped. She wasn’t going to stop now.
Opening the corral gate, she started inside when Caleb shouted, “Stay outside! I don’t want you near this horse, he’s still a little wild.”
Well, that stopped her cold. She was angry and ready for a come-to-Jesus meeting, but she didn’t want to be killed by a horse, either. “Fine. Then you come out. We have to talk.”
He glared at her for a long minute and she wondered how she could be both angry and attracted at the same time. The look on his face was fierce and it didn’t bother her a bit. If anything, it made her insides churn with the kind of longing that had been eating at her for the last few days.
She watched as he released the lead from the horse’s bridle, then turned him loose to race crazily around the corral. Caleb walked to the gate and opened it, closing it again securely behind him. Then he didn’t glance at her before heading for the barn.
Shelby was just a step or two behind him. “Will you stop so we can talk?”
“Whatever we have to say to each other is going to be private,” he growled out, “not said out in the yard where every cowhand nearby can listen in.”
“Oh. All right.”
In the shadowy barn, Caleb finally stopped, turned around to look at her and said, “What is it?”
Huh. Now that she had his complete attention, she hardly knew where to start. But that irritated gleam in his eyes prompted her to just jump in, feetfirst. “Meg told me what happened four years ago.”
“I’m not talking about that,” he said and turned away.
She grabbed his arm and he stopped. “Fine. We don’t have to. But we do have to talk about the fact that it’s the reason you’re shutting me out.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not. You don’t trust me, Caleb.” It broke her heart to say it, to read the truth of it in his eyes as he looked down at her. “Because I did to Jared what Meg did to you. So you’re thinking that I’m completely untrustworthy. But I’m not. I did the right thing in walking away. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.”
“I didn’t say I don’t trust you.”
“Oh, please, you didn’t have to,” she countered, waving him into silence. Horses in their stalls moved restlessly. The scent of straw and wood and leather surrounded them and she knew it was a scent she would always associate with Caleb.
“I understand why you feel that way, but you’re wrong.”
“Well, thanks. Now I’m going back to work.”
“I’ll just follow you until I say what I have to say,” she warned.
He believed her and sighed irritably as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine. Talk.”
“You love me, Caleb.”
He blinked at her. “What?”
“You love me and you don’t want to and that’s sad for both of us because we’re really good together. I mean, I know we’ve only known each other a little while but like I told Meg, we’ve been together nearly every second, so that’s like two years’ worth of dates and really, does it matter how long you know a person before you love them?”
She answered her own question. “It really doesn’t. The
love is either there or it’s not and it is. For you. And for me. And you don’t want to admit it because you’re scared.”
“Scared?” He laughed, dismissing the very idea.
But Shelby knew him well enough to see the truth in his eyes. “Terrified. You know, I was going to leave Royal. Because I knew you didn’t want me here anymore so I thought it would be best if I just left. Make it easier on you—”
He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.
“—but I don’t want to make it easy on you. You should suffer because I’m here in town but not with you. Because it’ll be your own fault because you’re too stubborn to see that what Meg did four years ago was right. And what I did was right, too. Doing the right thing isn’t always easy, Caleb. But it’s necessary. I still believe that. And did you ever think that maybe fate brought me here to Texas so that I could realize a mistake and find you?”
“Fate?”
She kept going. “Just so you know, I’m opening my business in Royal and I’m going to work for Lucy Curran. And Alexis. And I’ve got a job working with Meg, too, so I’ll be here at the ranch. A lot. So get used to seeing me. And not having me.”
Her heart was breaking, but she also felt good, telling him exactly what she was thinking, feeling. How could she have fallen for a man so stubborn? So resistant to the very idea of taking a chance again?
“You should know that I love you, but I’m going to try to get over it.” She turned around and headed for the door, determined to get out before she cried. After that wonderful speech, she didn’t want to ruin it all by looking pitiful. Which is just how she felt, beneath the simmering boil of anger.
“Where the hell are you going?” Caleb shouted.
“To Royal,” she called back. “I’m going to buy a house.”
* * *
An hour later, Caleb was still thinking about what she’d said. And how she’d looked, facing him down, challenging him, calling him a damn coward.
Was she right?
She was staying in Royal. She’d be right there. In town. Every day. And she wouldn’t be with him. Is that what he really wanted? Caleb had spent the last two days ignoring her, avoiding her, because he thought it best to get used to being without her. So it wouldn’t hit him so damn hard when she left for Chicago.
But she wasn’t leaving.
And he missed her already, damn it.
“Uncle Caleb!” Julie’s voice and the clatter of tiny feet stomping into the barn.
“Look! A puppy!”
Grateful for the distraction from his own thoughts, Caleb looked up to see the twins rush inside, a black Lab puppy in Jack’s arms. A local rancher’s dog had had another litter and Mitch had been determined to get one of the pups for the twins. Looks like that, at least, had gone well.
Meg was right behind the kids, though, so his smile didn’t last long.
“He’s a girl,” Jack said proudly.
“She don’t have a name,” Julie announced.
“Doesn’t,” Meg corrected. “You kids set the puppy down, but keep an eye on her while I talk to your uncle, okay?”
As the kids settled in to play with the puppy who was busy peeing on the straw floor, Caleb drew a sharp breath and narrowed his eyes on her. Setting things right with Mitch had been one thing. But he didn’t know that he was ready to talk to Meg about any of this. Hell, he’d had too much already of strong-willed women. “I’m busy, Meg.”
“You’re always busy, Caleb. But this little chat is long past due.” Meg reached out and stroked the long nose of a mare who’d stuck her head through the stall door hoping for attention. “I told Shelby she could use my car, so she’s in Royal right now, looking for a place to buy. Or rent.”
“She told me.”
“Uh-huh, and you’re still standing here, so I’m guessing you didn’t listen to anything she said any more than you’ve ever listened to me.” She gave him a look he’d seen her pin the twins with and he didn’t much care for it.
Then he glanced at the kids shrieking and laughing with their pup. “Now’s not the time for this.”
“Now’s the perfect time,” Meg corrected. “I knew you wouldn’t be rude to me in front of the twins.”
“So you used them.”
“You bet,” she agreed. Laying one hand on his forearm, Meg leaned into him and said, “You’re a good man, Caleb. But you’re being deliberately deaf and blind.”
“Butt out, Meg,” he warned quietly.
“No, I’ve done that for too long.” Smiling sadly, she said, “We were friends once, Caleb. Good friends who made the mistake of thinking that meant a marriage would be good for us, too.
“We were wrong. I’m sorry I hurt you when I ran out on the wedding, but can’t you see now that I did the right thing? For all of us? You and I are too much alike, Caleb. We’re both so damn quiet usually that we never would have spoken to each other.”
He thought about that for a second and had to agree. Mitch was the louder brother and he kept Meg laughing. Just as Shelby did for Caleb. Already, he wasn’t looking forward to the silence that would greet him in the house every day once Shelby left for good. Hell, the last two days had been bad enough, even knowing she was there.
“Damn it, Caleb, everyone can see that you feel for Shelby what I feel for Mitch.” Meg looked up at him, serious and determined. “You and I would have made each other miserable. But you’re happy with Shelby. The two of you just work.”
He sighed, looked over her head at the slash of sunlight outside the barn. In his mind’s eye, he could see Shelby in those foolish sandals, marching through the dirt and straw, her chin held high, riding the mad she had for him. He saw her in Houston, wearing that blue dress, laughing up at him.
And he saw her in bed, hair a wild tumble, her eyes shining and a soft smile on the lips he couldn’t taste enough.
“Don’t hold what I did to you against Shelby, Caleb,” Meg was saying. “Don’t cheat yourself out of something spectacular because you’re holding on to old hurts. Oh, and by the way, I’m glad you and Mitch worked things out. He’s missed you, you big jerk. I’ve missed you.”
He blinked at her and laughed. She was standing up for Mitch as he stood up for Shelby and Caleb realized that she was right. Had been all along. Yeah, he wished they had handled it better, but Mitch and Meg were good together. As he and Shelby were.
For the first time in four years, he could look at his sister-in-law and not be reminded of betrayal. Which told him that he was the only one who had been preventing his family from healing. Maybe Shelby had a point. He’d never thought of himself as a coward, but what else could you call a man who refused to forgive? Refused to trust? Refused to grab his future because of his past?
He’d hated the thought of Shelby moving away from Royal, going back to Chicago or wherever. But he hated even more the idea that she would be living in town without him. He couldn’t stand the thought of being without her damn it and she was right. He did love her. He just hadn’t wanted to admit it, even to himself.
Idiot.
“I hate lectures, Meg. You know that.”
“Yes, but—”
“Especially,” Caleb added, “when you’re right.”
“I am?” A slow, self-satisfied smile curved her mouth.
“Don’t gloat,” he said, giving her a one-armed hug that eased away the last of the pain, the last of the aloofness he’d treated her with for too long.
When she hugged him back, Caleb relaxed. “Hell, I have been blind. I see how good you and Mitch are together, Meg. And I’m glad of it.”
She tipped her head back and smiled, her eyes shining.
“Don’t cry.”
“Absolutely not,” she said, shaking her head as a single tear dripped down her cheek. “Pregnant hormones. I’m good. So what’re you going to do now?”
Only one thing he could do. “I’m going to Royal and I’m going to bring Shelby back home. Where she belongs.”
* * *
Shelby liked the condos well enough, she thought as she walked down Main Street. But after living at Caleb’s ranch, they all felt small, confined. There was no view of ranch land or ancient oaks. There were no kids playing in the yard and mostly? There was no Caleb.
“You’re going to have to get used to that, though,” she muttered. She walked past Miss Mac’s Pie Shack and waved to Jillian through the glass.
Across the street, she saw Lucy Curran and waved to her, as the woman hurried to her truck. Alexis Slade was heading into the TCC and Shelby realized that Royal had become home to her. She had friends here. Work here. She would be fine. She’d get over Caleb. Eventually.
“Shouldn’t take more than ten or twenty years,” she told herself.
Stepping up her pace, she hurried along to the TCC. If nothing else, she could go inside and tell Alexis that she was going to be staying in Royal, so she’d be available to help with the bachelor auction. “Keep busy, Shelby. That’s the key. Just keep busy.”
She heard the roar of the engine before she looked up to see it. Caleb’s huge black truck came hurtling down Main Street and careened into the TCC parking lot.
Shelby’s heart was pounding hard in her chest even before Caleb shut off the engine and leaped out of the truck, slamming the door behind him. Her mouth went dry and her stomach started spinning. He stalked toward her and his features were tight and grim.
“Caleb, what’re you doing here?”
He moved in close, grabbed her upper arms and lifted her up onto her toes, pulling her face within a kiss of his. “Damn it, Shelby, what the hell do you mean you love me but you’ll get over it?”
Surprised, she could only stare up at him as he loomed over her. The brim of his hat shadowed his face, but his eyes, those icy-blue eyes, were on fire. “Just what I said. I’m not going to be in love all by myself, how stupid would that be? So I’ll just work on getting over you and—”
“Stop,” he ground out. “Just stop and let me talk for once. There’s a lot to say. A lot I should have said before now.” He eased his grip on her arms, but he didn’t let her go. “First things first, though. You’re not in love alone. I love you, Shelby.”
Runaway Temptation Page 15
