Derek shifted in his chair. She could see that she was reaching him.
She pressed on. "It had to stop, that's what I'm telling you. And it had to stop today, when she finally broke down and was willing to take action."
Derek looked off toward the file cabinet in the corner, and then, with some effort, back at her. "All right. Maybe I was too quick to judge you concerning the Hirsch woman."
"You've been too quick to judge me in every instance—lately. Why is that, do you think?"
His big shoulders drew even tighter than before. "What are you getting at?" His voice was as flat and hard as his eyes.
She stared back at him without flinching. "You're angry with me, but not because of my work habits. Your real reasons are strictly personal."
His square jaw twitched. "That's absurd."
"No. It's the truth. Until that awful evening in the Mexican restaurant, when you said we should go out together and I said no, you never found it all that impossible to deal with the differences in the way we work. But since then, everything I do bothers you. Since then, I'm too sloppy and too slow and I have no idea what's urgent and what's not. Well, Doctor, I'm telling you that I have not changed. That my work habits are exactly the same as they've always been. The real problem here is that I said no and you can't deal with that."
"No, that's not—"
She ran right over him. "I turned you down. And you're furious with me for it. You want me out of here. You don't want to work with me. You don't want even to be around me. So you've set out to get rid of me, by convincing yourself that I'm no good at my job. Well, I happen to be damn good at my job, thank you. And I'm not going anywhere. And I think, as a basically fair man at heart, you'd better face up to this little trick you're pulling on yourself. You'd better admit that you're angry at me, and get over it. Because you have been harassing me, Doctor. And I want it to stop."
Derek stared at Lee.
Her hair was falling in her eyes and her face was flushed and she still wore her lab coat over one of those shapeless shirts of hers and a pair of baggy slacks. She shouldn't have held the least attraction for him.
But, damn it, she did. He wanted to … touch her.
He wanted to get up, go around his desk, reach for her hand and pull her into his arms. He wanted to kiss her. And to take off that lab coat, that shapeless shirt, those baggy slacks. He wanted to make love with her, right here in his office. It was totally inappropriate.
But he wanted her naked. He wanted to see that look on her face again, that blank, hungry look that said she desired him.
What was it Larry had said? "Who woulda thought you'd end up being so lucky with women? You're deadly, brother. Deadly."
Of course, Larry had been joking—to an extent. But the fact remained, Derek Taylor did have a way with women. They might tell him no after a while, when they realized he had no plans to make things permanent. But he couldn't remember a single woman who had ever turned him down for a first date.
Except the woman sitting opposite him now.
Very quietly, he asked, "Do you honestly believe what you just said?"
Lee hardly dared to breathe at that moment. It looked as if she'd reached him at last. The cold mask of intolerance was gone. Sincerity—and something that might have been shame—shone in his eyes.
"Lee. Do you really believe I've been … upset with you personally, rather than with your work? Do you really see my actions as harassment?"
He looked so stricken, she found she wanted to soften the blow. But it was no time to start waffling. "I do."
A brief silence. Then he said, so softly, "Oh."
Silence again. He didn't seem to know what to say next. And nothing came to Lee, either.
Derek's chair squeaked as he leaned forward again, picked up his pen, threw it down. He glared at the legal pad as if something of life-and-death import was written there that he couldn't quite make out. Then, abruptly, he stood.
Lee watched him, unsure what he would do next, as he slid carefully out from behind the desk, stuck his hands into his pockets and turned away from her.
He stared at the wall. He held his head so tall and proud, his broad shoulders stiff and straight. She had the most dangerous, impossible urge—to rise and go to him, to put her hand on that broad back, between his shoulder blades. To murmur soft, soothing things.
But touching him would be worse than foolish; after the hard things she'd just said to him, it would be wrong. She had no right to give him any signals he might construe as provocative. Right now, a touch, even given in comfort, would be stepping over the line. Lee stayed in her chair.
At last, he turned. "Okay," he said gruffly, "maybe you've got a point."
It wasn't quite good enough. "Maybe?"
"Damn it. All right. I'm the one with the problem here. And I will … deal with it." He was scowling again. "Is that good enough?"
"Yes." She spoke gently. "That's just fine."
They shared a long look. His scowl faded. Lee dared to smile at him. She felt … so much lighter, as if she'd been carrying some impossibly heavy weight around with her and had finally been allowed to set it down.
Derek dropped into his chair again and rested his forearms on the desk blotter. "Look." His sexy mouth curved in a rueful smile. "Do you ever go fishing?"
She blinked. What did fishing have to do with anything?
He hurried to explain, eager and hopeful and so handsome it hurt to look at him. "You've heard about that cabin of Dr. MacAllister's, haven't you? It's up in the mountains, about an hour from here. And there's a lake there. Good trout fishing, or so everyone says. Yesterday, Walter gave me the key. I was planning to head up there tonight, but since we're getting out of here so late, it looks like I might as well wait until tomorrow. Anyway, I was thinking, maybe—"
She put up a hand. "Hey."
His smile deepened. "What?"
"It sounds like you're just about to ask me to spend the weekend with you at Dr. MacAllister's cabin."
"Well, if it sounds like it, that's because I am."
Lee shifted in the chair, not sure how to move on from there. Hadn't they been through all this? Hadn't she made it painfully clear that she wouldn't go out with him?
"Lee, come on. You might have fun. And it could be just a friendly trip, you know? Nothing romantic, if you're not interested in that."
He looked so … sweet. And vulnerable. Which made no sense at all. He was Dr. Devastating. The gorgeous man with the massive ego and a different blonde for every week of the year. Still, Lee found herself wanting to let him down easy.
"I don't think that would work," she said carefully. "I really don't."
He did a sort of double take, then looked down at the desk blotter and muttered, "I don't know what my problem is, when it comes to you. Because I should have this figured out by now, shouldn't I? You won't go out with me—even as a friend." He looked up, lifted an eyebrow. "Right?"
She nodded.
He shook his head. "I knew that."
Idiot, he was thinking to himself. Moron. Cretin.
The damn woman had him tied in knots. It was an experience to which he was not accustomed.
Seeing his sincere confusion, Lee couldn't help feeling that she ought to explain further. "Really. It just wouldn't be wise. The two of us getting involved romantically would only mean trouble in the end."
He frowned again. "I don't think it would necessarily have to be that way."
She sighed. "Derek, I—"
The frown vanished. "Hey. You called me Derek."
"—And I shouldn't have. It's just … it's been a rough day."
He studied her for a moment. "Yes," he said. "It has. But things will get better. You'll see."
She eyed him doubtfully. "They will?"
"Yes. Somehow, I'm going to learn to live with the fact that you don't want to go out with me."
She couldn't resist teasing, "I don't think it should be that difficult."
He ac
tually teased back. "Maybe you underestimate yourself."
"And maybe you have a sense of humor, after all."
He pretended to look pained. "Ouch. You got us both with that one."
There was really nothing more to say. She stood. "You have a good time this weekend, Dr. Taylor."
He shrugged. "Yeah. A couple of days alone with the woodpeckers and the pine trees is probably just what I need to put things back in perspective."
* * *
Chapter Seven
« ^ »
Walter MacAllister's cabin at Blue Moon Lake was a rustic structure sided in knotty pine and tucked up close into the side of a hill. It had a basement below and a high deck in front, which could be reached on one side by a set of stairs.
At nine-thirty Saturday morning, Derek parked in the clear space below the deck. He'd bought a few groceries before he left town. He put them away in the ancient refrigerator, and on a spare shelf in a kitchen cabinet. Walter had told him to go ahead and use anything he wanted from the pantry, which consisted of several built-in basement shelves, next to the stairs that went down from a door in the kitchen.
Unfortunately the basement light had burned out. Derek rummaged through several drawers, looking for a replacement, but didn't find one. So he got his flashlight from the Suburban and left it on the floor by the basement door, thinking that later, if he needed anything, he would go down there and check things out.
Once the food was taken care of, he tossed his change of clothes into a drawer of the bedroom's knotty-pine bureau. Next, he thought maybe he'd take a little nap. The truth was, he hadn't slept well at all the night before. The hard things Lee had said to him kept echoing in his head.
It really bothered him that they were all true. He knew he wasn't the nicest guy in the world. But, until yesterday, he'd always prided himself on being relentlessly honest and fair.
Unfortunately sleep didn't come any more easily in the morning than it had the night before. The minute he stretched out on the bed and closed his eyes, he saw Lee's face. Never mind a nap.
He put on swim trunks under his jeans and changed into hiking boots. Then he packed a light lunch and hiked around Blue Moon Lake, stopping midway to strip down to the trunks and swim in the icy water of a sandy little cove he found. He met a few other hikers on the way and exchanged greetings with them. But through most of the trek, he found himself alone. He tried to focus on the clean, unspoiled country around him and not to let himself wonder what Lee might be doing.
"I don't know," Dana said. "It's just so…"
"Magenta," Katie concurred. "So really, completely magenta."
Dana stepped back a little. "But we do want a strong color, for contrast, with the two of us all in white. And the boat neck is good on her. She has such well-shaped shoulders, don't you think?"
Katie nodded. "All those nights at the gym must be paying off."
If you only knew, Lee thought. "Too bad I can't exercise my way into a pair of breasts."
"Breasts aren't everything," Katie chided.
Lee let out a deep sigh and looked from one friend to the other in the gold-rimmed triple mirror of the bridal boutique. "Why are we making such a big deal out of my dress? You two are the brides."
Dana and Katie shared a glance, one that communicated how very patient they were being with Lee. "We want you to look just right," Katie said.
"After all," Dana added, "you're the only bridesmaid we've got."
The boutique owner, a tall fashion plate of a woman dressed all in black, appeared through the red velvet curtain from the front of the store. She had another long gown over her arm. "How about this one? It's simple. Clean lines. A quiet, understated elegance."
"Hmm," Katie said. "Emerald green velvet." She looked at Dana. "What do you think? It would provide that strong contrast we want."
Dana fingered the material. "I don't know. This green says Peter Pan to me. Is that what we're going for?"
Katie groaned. "Absolutely not."
"I'll find more options." Still carrying the green dress, the woman in black retreated through the curtain again. Dana and Katie turned back to Lee. Dana began fiddling with the wide neckline of the magenta dress, while Katie tugged on the hem.
"Hey you guys," Lee complained. "Do you have to keep rearranging me in this one, considering I'm not even going to be wearing it?"
Katie looked up at Dana. They both shrugged. "She's right," Katie said. They helped her unzip and then, once Lee had stepped out of the thing, Dana hung it back on the hanger.
"Where's the next one?" Lee asked, when she stood before the mirror in her long half-slip and lacy lemon yellow strapless bra.
Dana said, "You know, for a woman who won't get near a pot of lip gloss or a mascara wand, you sure go all out on your underwear."
"She always has," Katie agreed, looking way too intrigued for Lee's peace of mind. "What does this tell us about her?"
Both of her friends turned to study her.
Lee said, "Look. I'm letting you dress me up however you want for your wedding. I'll do whatever it takes not to be an embarrassment to you, I promise. I'll get my hair done. And I'll even wear makeup. But don't start analyzing my underwear. That's one step over the line."
Dana arched an eyebrow. "Did you tell Katie about Dr. Devastating?"
"Dr. Taylor?" Katie piped up. "What about him?"
Lee frowned. "Hey. How did you know she meant Dr. Taylor?"
"There's only one doctor they call Dr. Devastating," Katie said. "And that's Dr. Taylor. And what's this all about?"
Lee aimed a glare at Dana. "You would have to bring it up."
"Come on." Dana didn't look the least bit guilty. "I want to know what's been happening since Thursday night, and Katie will, too—as soon as you tell her what's going on."
"What is going on?" Katie demanded.
Just then, the woman in black came through the curtain again. She had a whole stack of new prospects this time, a lot of them in velvet, and also something fuchsia, with gold beading on the bodice and a filmy chiffon skirt. "Try these. Maybe one of them will work for you."
Dana took them from her and hung them up. "I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes," the woman said.
The three friends waited for her to vanish through the curtain.
Then Katie spun on Lee. "Come on. Tell all."
Lee made a stab at evasion. "Hey, I have to try on these dresses. You two will make a choice today, because I swear I'm not going through this again."
But Katie refused to let it go. "You can try on the dresses and talk at the same time."
Dana was grinning. "Come on. It's written all over you. You want to talk about it."
Lee looked from one expectant face to the other and realized she couldn't deny them. And Dana was right. She didn't want to deny them. She needed a couple of good friends to talk to—and here they were.
So, as they zipped and hooked her into one dress after another, Lee brought Katie up-to-date on what she'd already revealed to Dana. From there, she went on to tell them both about all that had happened Friday.
When she'd finished, Dana immediately suggested, "As soon as we're done here, you should get in your car and head for Blue Moon Lake."
"What?" Lee could hardly believe her ears. "You know I don't want to get involved with him. Why in heaven's name would I be insane enough to follow him up to Blue Moon Lake?"
"Because. He actually admitted he was in the wrong—and promised he'd do something about it."
"Well, he was in the wrong. And it was only right that he should do something about it."
"Lee. Stop. Think. This is the sign of a superior man. Men, as a general rule, will never admit they're wrong."
"Oh, please. Trevor would admit it if he was wrong. And so would Mike."
"And maybe you've noticed that we're marrying them," Katie suggested softly.
"Lee," Dana said, "it's about time you got past this fear of M.D.s you've got."
"No, i
t's not."
"The vow we made is dead. Buried. Over. Kaput."
"Of course it is. For the two of you."
"Look at it this way. He says he's willing to just be friends. Give him that much of a chance. Be his friend."
"Friends. Right. Katie and Mike were friends. And look what happened to them."
"Exactly." Dana took Katie by the shoulders and placed her squarely in front of Lee. "Look at this woman. This is a happy woman. She's not suffering at all since she and Mike finally admitted they're much more than friends. You could be happy like this. If only you'd let yourself."
"I am happy."
Dana set Katie aside and shook a finger at Lee. "You are impossible. That man is utterly studly. And I can see it in your eyes. You are crazy about him. And you just … well, you remind me of myself a couple of months ago, throwing away happiness with both hands, and feeling totally justified in doing it."
"Look. Could we just choose a dress—please?"
Katie put her hand on Dana's arm. "She's right. It's her life."
Dana let out a long, deep sigh. "I know." She scrunched up her nose at Lee. "Go on. Do it your way."
"Thank you," Lee said.
Dana turned her attention to the dress they'd just helped Lee get into—the fuchsia one with the chiffon skirt. "What is this? The Nutcracker? I swear, she looks just like one of the sugarplum fairies."
Katie shook her head. "Get her out of it. Where's the next one?"
"Right here." The woman in black came through the curtain again, bearing more dresses.
"Wait a minute," Dana said. "I think we should try the magenta one more time…"
Derek's hike around the lake took him several hours. It was near six when he came full circle to the cabin again. Since there was no phone in there, he got his cell phone from the Suburban and called home to check his messages.
DR. DEVASTATING Page 7
