by Sarah Carter
“Fine, I’m going to the local news then,” Tracy quips, standing up. She turns around and whispers, “That’s a lot of memories to erase.”
“You suck! Fine,” Kayla grumbles. “If I never get to talk to you again, I will be so mad!”
Tracy rolls her eyes. “Who would ever believe me anyway?” With a heavy sigh, Kayla shifts down. Tracy just stares at her like a deer caught in headlights. “Oh, dear God,” Tracy whispers. “You weren’t kidding.”
Shifting back to herself, Kayla hisses, “You can’t say a word to anyone. I mean it! They’ll probably make us move and disappear.”
“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Tracy groans. “Anyway, so, like, your parents and Jackson’s whole family…they can all do this?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re some sort of super shifter,” Tracy says slowly. “That’s why you were kidnapped, by the guy that you ate.”
Kayla stomps her foot. “I did not eat him!”
“You should have. I would have. You should have let the boys maul him to death, or you could have reversed roles and had sex with the boys in front of him and then killed him slowly.”
“TRACY!”
“Wwwwhhhhaaat,” she draws out. “It was just an idea.”
Tracy’s phone rings. She runs over and picks it up. “Oh,” she mutters. “It’s Jackson.” Looking at Kayla, she asks, “Can I get this or do you want me to let it go to voice mail?”
Fidgeting with her fingers, Kayla says, “You can get it.”
Tracy taps the screen of her phone to answer the call. “Hi, Jackson! Mmmm, I’m all right and yourself? That’s good. Well, yes, actually I have seen her. She’s sitting right next to me.” Kayla reaches over and smacks Tracy on the leg. “What?” she hisses. “I’m not going to lie!” There is a pause and then Tracy looks at the floor. “I don’t think she wants to talk to anyone right now. I don’t know if it necessarily has anything to do with you.”
“It has everything to do with him,” Kayla sighs.
“Hold on a second,” Tracy says. She covers the mouthpiece. “He really wants to talk to you, Kayla. You have to at least explain why you aren’t talking to him.”
Kayla gives her a look. “He very well knows why I’m not talking to him.”
“All right,” Tracy exhales. Talking back into the phone, Tracy says, “Sorry, Jackson, I can’t get her to budge.” She looks up at Kayla. “I don’t know if she’s going to school tomorrow.” Kayla looks away and nods. “Yeah, she’ll be there. All right, I’ll tell her. Yeah, have a good night too. Bye.” Tracy hangs up the phone. “He says he’s going to talk to you at school tomorrow.”
“Not if I hide from him,” Kayla grumbles, crossing her arms.
That makes Tracy laugh. “You sit next to him in three of your classes! How in the hell are you going to hide from him?”
“I don’t know, maybe I’ll just ignore him.”
“That’s so rude,” Tracy emphasizes. “He’s your friend, no matter what’s going on.”
Kayla throws up her hands in defeat. “What am I going to do then?”
Tracy sits down on the floor next to her. “You find him, you jump into his arms, and you maul him sexually.”
Kayla bursts out laughing. “That is not what’s going to happen.”
“Why not? You’re in love with him. What better way to express it!”
“I can’t express or say that I love him. It’s wrong and not fair right now.” Kayla sighs and puts her head in her hands. “I can’t even get Damien to return any of my calls. It either goes straight to his voice mail or he ignores it, because it rings, like, twice.”
“Have you been on his Facebook page?” Tracy inquires slowly.
Kayla peers up at her friend. “No, why?”
“N-nothing,” Tracy stutters. “I was just curious.”
“What’s on there?”
She looks off to the side. “Just pictures of him partying.”
“With girls?”
“Not anyone in particular or something that you should be concerned about. He still has his relationship status with you, so that has to be a sign.”
Glaring at her friend, Kayla scrambles to her computer. She immediately logs onto Facebook and clicks on Damien’s page. “Okay,” Kayla says. “It’s not like he looks happy. These are all tags.”
“Yeah, I just said it was pictures of him partying,” Tracy says, coming up behind her. “He actually looks depressed.”
“Wonderful,” Kayla groans. “Let’s see if he’ll reply to a message.” She clicks on it and types: Please, please, please call me. I need to talk to you. I miss you… Please just call me.
Tracy leans her head on Kayla’s. “He’ll contact you when he’s ready.”
“What if he never talks to me again? He said he loved me, fought for me, almost gave up his life for me…only to learn that I loved Jackson. I mean, I love Damien, I do.”
“But not like how you love Jackson.”
Sadly, Kayla shakes her head. “No.”
“But you won’t even talk to Jackson.” Tracy groans. “So why does it matter who you love?”
“I can’t love Jackson. It’s not right.”
Falling to her knees, Tracy takes Kayla’s hand. “There’s nothing wrong with you loving Jackson. He’s a wonderful guy, who would treat you like a princess. You can’t help whom you fall in love with, Kayla. Damien can’t blame you for that. It wouldn’t be fair. You didn’t cheat on him, right?”
“No, we were only technically boyfriend and girlfriend for an hour before I got kidnapped, so there wouldn’t have been time to cheat on him, but…”
“But, what?” Tracy asks.
“Jackson and I…kind of said that we cared about each other…and he said he refused to hurt Damien, and well…”
Waving her hand, Tracy says, “Yeah…”
“I said I was going to,” Kayla whispers. “I made the decision to break up with Damien for Jackson.”
“Only because Damien made you so angry. He was going to have his way with you, all primal in the middle of a club.”
Kayla bangs her head on her table. “I don’t think it was anything he did on purpose, but he didn’t stop it either. We had the conversation just a little while before it happened, when I was yelling at him about his ex-girlfriend. I told him I wasn’t ready.”
“But the pheromones—”
“Were way too powerful for me…for us. It wasn’t entirely his fault. I asked for it. It was so overwhelming. I didn’t know any better. Jackson knew, though. It didn’t affect him. He knew I wanted to wait. Jackson stopped Damien when I couldn’t. He was only protecting me.”
Tracy puts Kayla’s hair behind her ear. “He did it because he loves you.”
“I don’t know if it’s love,” Kayla mutters. “That’s my other fear. I proclaimed my love for Jackson, Damien proclaimed his love for me, and I have no idea where Jackson stands. He said he loves me, but we were in for the fight of our lives. I don’t know if he meant it. I could ruin everything I have with Damien on the slight chance that Jackson feels the same way? And then I’m being a jerk for even considering staying with Damien for the reason that I don’t want to end up alone. I do love him, but not like how I love Jackson. Jackson shakes me to my core.”
“You guys have the most insane chemistry. You can’t let that slip through your fingers.”
“I love him. I do, so much, but I have to figure things out with Damien before I can do anything. I have to show him that much respect."
Tracy takes a deep breath. “How long do you wait, though?”
“What do you mean?”
Tracy looks at her thoughtfully and answers, “What if he never talks to you again or it’s six months down the line? Are you not going to talk to Jackson for six months or ever again? Don’t you think you would miss him?”
“I miss him now,” Kayla whines as she starts to tear up. “I miss him so badly, I can’t even breathe, but I can’t do it. I just can’t.”
“Can I at least call him later and explain what’s going on,” Tracy inquires. “Give the man that much?”
“That doesn’t seem juvenile to you?”
Tracy shakes her head. “No, I think it would be better if he knew what was going on.”
“You can’t let him know what I told you. Promise me that you won’t let it slip!”
“Cross my heart,” Tracy replies as she draws an X on her chest with her finger. “I’ll just tell him that I know that you said you loved him and Damien isn’t returning phone calls. I have it covered. It’ll be fine. It’s better for him to know than to have you ignore him at school.”
Kayla hangs her head. “This is crazy. I don’t want to go back to school.”
“Everyone will be excited to see you. The whole school was in an uproar.”
“Oh great, everyone’s going to stare at me,” Kayla mumbles. “Just what I need.”
Leaning forward, Tracy says, “People did what they thought they needed to do. No one knew where you went. Damien was frantic to get you back. The phone lines were ringing off the hook because of the reward. I’m surprised one of William’s thugs didn’t turn him in. Eight million dollars is a lot of money.”
“I doubt Damien would put up that money now,” Kayla sighs. “If he knew what was going to happen, he probably would’ve revoked the reward.”
“Stop it, no he wouldn’t. He loves you. That doesn’t go away at a drop of a dime. He may be hurt and angry, but I doubt he wants anything bad to happen to you.”
“You never know,” Kayla replies unhappily.
Tracy gives her a look. “All right, now you’re being ridiculous. I understand you’ve been through a lot. It’s been a rough month, and you have every right to be a basket case, but come on, you need to snap out of it.”
“It would be easier if I knew what was going to happen.”
“What do you want to happen?” Tracy asks. “Like, perfect situation.”
Looking at her friend, Kayla answers, “Damien would forgive me, and Jackson would love me back.”
“He said he loved you. I don’t think he would lie.”
“Our lives were being threatened; you kind of do what you have to in those types of situations.”
Tracy nods. “Yeah, true, but he calls me multiple times a day to ask about you. How often does he call you?”
“The first few days it was every couple of hours. Now, it’s just a few times a day. He leaves me messages saying that he just wants to talk to me. They’re the same messages that I’m leaving Damien.”
“It will all work out,” Tracy says soothingly. “Just give it time.”
There is an unexpected knock on the door. “Girls, are you hungry? Dinner’s ready.”
“Yeah!” Kayla yells. “We’ll be right out.”
“I’ll talk to Jackson tonight. No secret spillage, but I will explain what’s going on.”
“Thanks,” Kayla replies. “Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
The next morning, Kayla and Tracy sit in Tracy’s car, waiting for school to start. “I still think you should’ve kept the car,” Tracy states.
“No, that would have been wrong.” Kayla sighs.
“He had it delivered to your house. I think that’s a sign that he wants you to keep it.”
Kayla shakes her head. “No, that’s ridiculous. He won’t talk to me, so I can’t accept a car.”
“Once again, I will drive you wherever you need to go, but we should get into school. Don’t want to be late your first day back.”
“Yes, I do,” Kayla whispers. “I don’t want to see anybody.”
“Jackson knows what’s going on. He still wants to talk to you, and I don’t know what you can do to stop him.”
Kayla shrugs. “Run between classes.”
“Come on, let’s go.” They get out of the car and walk across the parking lot toward the school. As soon as they enter the hallway, everyone turns and stares at Kayla. She bows her head and tucks her hair behind her ear. Tracy wraps her arm through Kayla’s and walks Kayla to her locker.
When they get there, Jackson is leaning against it. He turns to Tracy. “Give me one minute with her, please.”
Tracy looks at Kayla. “I don’t know.”
“She doesn’t have to say a word. I just need to say something. It’s important,” Jackson stresses.
With a nod, Tracy lets Kayla go and walks down the hall. Kayla doesn’t even look at Jackson. She just opens her locker. “I can’t talk to you,” she whispers.
“Then don’t. I have to say this, though, I understand what you went through. I can’t even imagine the horror of it, and I know we were thrown into a tough situation, but none of what I said was a lie.” He steps closer to her and murmurs, “I would rather not say it for the first time in the hallway at school, but—”
“Then don’t say it,” Kayla softly snaps. “Just…don’t. It’s better that way.”
He bangs his head on her locker door. “We can’t hinge everything on what’s going to happen with Damien.”
“Everything hinges on him,” Kayla exclaims. “I hurt him. He won’t even talk to me! Will he talk to you?”
Jackson shakes his head. “No, I even talked to his mom. He hasn’t really spoken to them either.”
“Damien’s out partying,” Kayla grumbles, putting her books away. “You can see it all over his Facebook page.”
Jackson releases a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Kayla. It’s what he does.”
“That’s the thing. I wouldn’t even blame him if he were out sleeping around. That seems like the best revenge.”
“So if he’s out partying, can’t you take that as proof that you’re no longer a couple?”
Kayla slams her locker shut and glares at him. “I’m not considering anything until he tells me what’s going on.”
“Baby,” Jackson groans. “That could take forever. Are we really supposed to wait that whole time?”
“We?” Kayla says with a strained voice.
Stepping closer to her, Jackson whispers, “Yes, we, are we supposed to wait that whole time?”
“I can’t do this,” Kayla whimpers. “Please.”
“Kayla,” Jackson says softly, putting his hand on the side of her face. “We can’t help the way we feel.”
She brushes his hand away and stutters, “Yes…we can…we can help the way we feel. I’ll put a stop to it before it starts.”
“Baby,” Jackson sighs. “Come on, that isn’t fair to us.”
“Please, please, don’t do this,” Kayla cries softly. “Just leave me alone.” She pushes away from him and runs down the hallway.
“Kayla!” he yells after her.
She darts into the bathroom and shuts the door. Thankfully, there isn’t anyone in the bathroom, so she takes out her cell phone and dials Damien’s number. It rings and rings and then goes to his voice mail. “Damien,” she sniffles. “Please, will you call me? I don’t know what to do. I miss you and feel so bad. I’m not talking to Jackson, and I don’t plan on it anytime soon. I’m sorry. Please understand that I’m with you. He isn’t even in the picture. Just…I need to talk to you. I need to know that you’re okay. Send me a text, something. I’m waiting and will keep waiting for you. Just call me.” She hangs up and wipes the tears away.
When the bell rings, Kayla checks her eyes in the mirror. They’re red but there isn’t much that can be done about that. After a couple minutes of hesitation, she walks to her first class. The teacher is already talking, but when Kayla walks in, the whole class stops and looks at her. She shifts her weight back and forth between her feet, trying to avoid their stares. Her teacher finally smiles. “Hello, Miss Hendrickson. Welcome back. You can take your seat.”
Giving a weak smile, Kayla slides into her chair and hunches over. She can practically feel everyone staring at her. When her teacher starts to talk again, Jackson suddenly puts a stack of papers on her desk. She picks them up and looks at them. They are notes
from the classes that she missed. A sticky note sits on top of the papers. It reads: I knew this would be important to you. ~J~
The corner of her mouth twitches, and she sticks the notes in her binder. She doesn’t look at him, but Kayla knows Jackson is staring at her, which brings a smile to her face. The rest of class is a blur. Kayla realizes that she has missed a lot, but none of that seems important. After everything, she isn’t sure what is important anymore.
When the bell rings, she grabs her stuff and darts out of the room. The rest of the day is spent in awkward silence with people. Kayla isn’t sure if anyone really knows what to say. At the end of the day, Kayla bolts to Tracy’s locker. “Come on,” she says to her friend. “We need to go now.”
Tracy raises her eyebrows, but says, “Okay.”
When they get to the parking lot, Kayla lets out an exasperated sigh. “That was awful.”
“School usually is,” Tracy quips, trying to get her friend to laugh.
“No, everyone’s staring at me, and when people would actually say something it was just weird and awkward. And then you add Jackson into the mix, and I want to scream!”
“Then scream, if that will make you feel better.”
Kayla gives her friend a look. “That won’t help. People will think I’m crazy.”
“I think you’re crazy already, so it doesn’t really matter then, huh?” Tracy giggles as she opens her car door.
That makes Kayla laugh. When she opens the passenger door, she looks up. Jackson is standing a few rows down by his car. The intensity of his gaze freezes her, so all she can do is stare back at him. The burning desire to run to him courses through her. All the times he made her laugh and every kiss they shared, tear at her heart. Kayla’s chest clenches so much that she can’t breathe.
“Are you going to go over there?” Tracy asks.
“No,” Kayla whispers, breaking eye contact with Jackson and throwing her backpack in the car. When she looks back up at him for one last glance, her heart breaks when she sees him kiss his fingers and hold them out to her. Every inch of Kayla wants to run over to him, but she doesn’t. She takes a deep breath and gets into the car.
“I think you’re being stupid,” Tracy declares. “The man loves you and you love him back, and he’s only standing a few cars down. He wants you. You should be all over each other in the backseat of his car right now.”
