by Tia Siren
Then the welling feeling in the pit of my stomach grew until it encompassed the entirety of me, and I could feel a release. A flush of pleasure shot down my spine and tensed all my muscles.
I heard a sudden grunt come from Rick and could feel him shooting his hot sticky load inside. The feeling of him pulling out left me in shivers.
“Don’t tell the parents,” he said.
6.
We both woke up the next morning, completely spent and barely making eye contact. The rest of the vacation went similarly, as neither of us could look the other in the eye.
I didn’t complain; what we did would be wrong. Siblings shouldn’t be close like that. I did finally manage to ask him what happened to his mother, and he was straightforward with the answer.
“She died giving birth to Trenton,” was all he said.
I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like losing one person and gaining another. His father Bill took it hardest; Rick was too young to know what was really going on.
As the end of the break neared, we received our invitations to the wedding. It was a small ceremony, with only the local family attending, which included a couple of cousins, aunts, and uncles. We barely managed to fill the small twenty person church.
I played the maid of honor, and Rick played the best man, it was hard to take my eyes off him when he was dressed up, he looked incredibly professional.
I felt like he had the same thing on his mind, he might not be looking at me, but the corner of his eye was always facing my way.
Bill and Gladys were married on a Sunday, and it was a small and quite cute ceremony. They ate more than half the cake themselves.
I hadn’t seen mom this happy in a long time. The day filled her with a radiance that I had never seen on her face. Bill, as well, had rosy cheeks and the two of them danced liked they were the only ones in the room.
I giggled when I caught Bill pouring a bottle of Vodka in the punch; I avoided the bowl but seeing mom drunk was the highlight of the day.
Rick finally made his move over to my side. I knew this moment would come, the moment we had to decide how things were going to be from here on out.
“I’ve been thinking about it for the last two weeks,” he started, “we have done things that can’t be taken back. But, those were different people living different lives.
“We’re new people now, two brothers and a sister. Before, I had to decide whether or not I cared about you, but now that we’re family, I found that I love you.
“In some way, I wish that meant that I could love you as a girlfriend, but being siblings had an air of permanence. I’ll always be there for you, and you’ll always be there for me.”
I looked at him with tears in my eyes. I had lost a lover and instead gained a brother.
He held out a USB flash drive and gestured for me to take it. I plucked it from his hand and examined it.
“What is it,” I asked.
“It’s the video I took of you when you were skating on the ice,” he said, “it’s better kept in your care so you can do what you want with it. It’s the only copy.”
I took the drive and slipped it into my purse. He didn’t appear to have any regret.
“Sis, I hope we get along from now on,” he said.
I nodded and reached in to give him a hug. It wasn’t the hug of two lovers any longer; it was the hug of two siblings and I hated it. My body yearned to be closer than a sister. I wanted to pull him in and give him a kiss, and I could see he wanted nothing more than the same.
I wondered what people would think. I could see their eyes silently judging us in our prolonged hug, and I did my best to hide from their gaze. Rick slowly pushed me away, and I accepted his guidance.
It was difficult to see, but I could make out a small tear forming in the corner of his eye. I pretended that I didn’t notice.
We didn’t spend much time together during the short reception. But, I continued to feel his gaze on my back as I talked with other partygoers. They would all pat me on the back and give me a hug of congratulations. I didn’t feel lucky in the slightest.
The night wore on and my mom and her new husband left in the most absurdly decorated car I’d ever seen. She looked at me with such a face of content that I couldn’t help but want to slap her. As though every little bit of happiness she felt was a small knife stabbing into my own.
I still kept Rick in the corner of my gaze, wishing that things had been different. I caught him sneak behind a stack of chairs and throw a meaningless punch into the wall out of frustration. I could tell that he wasn’t too keen on the new living situation either, and that was enough.
It would be a long year at school.
7.
The vacation passed, and I returned to school as a victor. I received more invites to parties from people I hadn’t ever met before. None held much interest for me, but I now had become a bit of a hockey fan. I began attending any game that I could, hoping to see Rick play.
He seemed a different player, more driven and focused. I managed to catch his eye from the stands a couple of times, and he would immediately turn away, almost wishing that I weren’t there.
That is until our team won a major victory over our biggest rival and made it into the playoffs.
I was incredibly excited for the team and made a point to attend their victory party. By now my exploits had become something of a legend, and getting into any party was easy. I recognized plenty of people, and while I was still embarrassed, I accepted their fawning.
Rick was standing next to the glass that surrounded the ice, and I made way straight to the nearest available drink.
I stood there, talking to Kathy while my mind wandered towards Rick. As though the world fell away when we were both in the same room, and trying to avoid thinking of him was counterintuitive. I skirted the outside of the crowd and caught him looking at me more than once.
I wanted nothing more than to walk up to him and leap into his more than capable arms and have him carry me off, but it didn’t feel right. Something was different now, and I wanted to know what.
I pulled my old skates from my bag and took a seat nearby him to put them on. He turned his eyes towards me as I prepared to take the ice. I think he was just as earnest as I was to talk about our shared history.
He politely ended his conversation with his fans as I carefully made my way to the ice. He followed along, closely from behind as I started to skate. A few people hooted and hollered in the crowd, and I had a feeling they were hoping I’d give them another show. I wasn’t interested and just smiled and waved off their collected screams.
Rick paced quickly alongside me as I smoothly careened along the ice.
“How are you classes,” I asked politely.
“You really want to make small talk,” he responded, simply.
“I really want to just go somewhere and forget that we’re in college and that our parents just got married,” I said, making sure we were out of earshot of everyone in the party.
He craned his neck to look over his shoulder, doing the same as I was.
“Follow me,” he said.
I did so, as he pulled me aside off the ice and towards the opposing team’s locker room, now empty. I carefully made my way inside.
Rick pulled me out of view of anyone that might have been looking at stared me right in the eye. I could feel the intensity of his gaze, those burning blue eyes making me feel weak in the knees, again. He leaned down just slightly and pursed his lips.
I eagerly pushed my mouth into his, hoping this moment wouldn’t end. I poured my heart into the kiss, and it felt like he did the same. His passion was burning for me, and mine for him. But, there was something underlying each tender caress and neither of us could shake the feeling as though something was wrong.
I was the one to push him away.
“This doesn’t feel right anymore,” I said.
He stepped back, touching his hand to his lips, as though he were remember
ing the tenderness of my kiss I had given him only moments ago.
“This feels so right,” he replied, “but it feels like something is missing.”
I nodded and leaned back against the wall, smacking the back of my head against it in an act of penitence. The hard surface gave me little solace.
“I can’t do this,” I said, starting to break away from him and get back to the ice. Tears began to form at the corners of my eyes.
He shot out an arm and pulled me back.
“Casey, listen to me for just a second,” he said.
I stood still and awkwardly turned back to him, doing my best to wipe away whatever tears were starting to show themselves.
“What,” I asked.
“I think we both know,” he started, “we’ll never be lovers. I know you feel the same as I do.”
He was right, and that’s what bothered me. I didn’t know what to say anymore. I knew that I didn’t have those feelings for him anymore; I was just going through the motions of romance. I brushed the new tears from my eyes and felt an odd sort of contentedness.
“Should I call you brother, or should I call you Rick,” I asked.
He looked at me and smiled. It seemed as though a weight were pulled off both our chests as we continued to chat.
“That’s your choice, Sis,” he replied with a smirk.
I laughed, trying to exhale my remaining emotion; it seemed to work as I could feel my tears begin to dry up.
“Alright, bro,” I said.
This time, he laughed along with me before grabbing my hand and giving it one last kiss. It had an odd sense of finality to it, and I was still a small bit confused, but I knew that we had made the right decision.
He found and wore his skates, and we made a few laps around the ice. Our conversation went from intimate to lighthearted, and I knew that I had gained more than a brother. I had gained a new best friend and confidant.
We ended up having to say our goodbyes about halfway through the night when Kathy drank too much, and I had to make sure she got home safely. I did my best to hold her hair back as she made a mess of the school grounds.
She kept looking up at me with earnest tears in her eyes, apologizing every time I patted her on the back. It made me giddy inside to know that I had become such a wonderful roommate, or perhaps it was me knowing that I had some fodder for the next roommate argument.
After finally managing to make it home unharmed, I helped her out of her party clothes and into bed. She was still awake as I laid her into bed. It seemed that she wanted a bit of conversation before she’d be able to fall asleep.
“So, what did I miss from your winter vacation,” she asked.
I told her the only thing I could; I had gained a new brother.
*****
THE END
SPORTS Romance - Not With the Coach
I tried, in earnest, to look a little relaxed. I inhaled deeply and slowly breathed out, hoping that my nerves would go with it. It didn’t seem to help in the slightest.
Jennie didn’t seem fazed; she was a natural at appearing- well- natural. I always felt, at least, some measure of envy towards her when we spent time together.
The most attractive men I’d ever seen paraded by us, giving large smiles at Jennie and avoiding my gaze as much as possible, it seemed. I was used to it by now. Yet, I still held a shred of hope that someone 'd notice me.
“Yeah! Go Brad!” Jennie shouted while waving at the stand where the players congregated.
I applauded and did my best to look the part as a fan of the team. The pep rally was full of fans, and the cheering onlookers were having the desired effect on the team.
It hadn’t been my first rally that year, and for some reason, I felt my nervous at every one. I couldn’t tell what was causing it in the slightest. I wasn’t speaking in public, or expecting to be approached by a player, however, nice that would have been. I wondered if maybe they were jitters of excitement, and I was just hoping our team would crush the opposition.
“We have to watch them practice tomorrow, Sandy,” Jennie said, as I clapped with the crowd.
I nodded and smiled at her.
I was always her tag along, as a handbag that fit her outfit perfectly. I didn’t mind, though, I just enjoyed being wanted.
The crowd began to disperse a while later, and Jennie bade me stay so she wouldn’t be alone while she waited for Brad.
“Hey, girl,” I heard Brad say from behind.
We both spun and after taking her first look at him, ran to him and jumped up to straddle his waist. I might as not have existed; they paid me no mind and began to wander off. I checked the time on my phone; it was too late for any of the buses, and with no money for a cab, I figured that walking would be best.
I palmed the can of mace I kept in my purse; an old habit and probably a good one to have. The street was still littered with people going in every direction.
“So Jennie ditched you again, eh?” I heard an older voice from behind. It was Coach Reynolds.
“Evening Mr. Reynolds,” I said curtly, “and, yes,” I added. He seemed amused, filling the evening air with laughter.
“That girl is trouble, and I think Brad will find out soon enough,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“She doesn’t know who her real friends are, yet. I think she’s a bit too boy crazy, which is fine. But, if she keeps that up she won’t have anyone to rely on.”
I nodded, not really understanding what he meant.
“Do you need a ride home,” he asked.
I knew what I wanted to say, but I wasn’t able to say it.
“I think I’m okay. I’ll just walk,” I replied.
“Oh nonsense, I couldn’t let someone walk home in the dark alone like this. It’s only right. Just come with me,” he said.
While it was a little demanding, I was glad that he insisted. I already felt a little safer now that he was nearby.
We had walked another block before we got to his car; an old muscle car from the 60’s. The paint was a little rough from wear, and the interior was slightly cracked along some of the seams, but it looked like he prided himself on it. A great amount of care was put into maintaining this old thing. I felt a bit out of place sliding into the passenger seat.
“So, where are we off to?” he asked, rumbling the engine to a start.
I gave him the directions to the room I was renting. I liked being out of the dormitories and enjoyed the responsibility of living alone and free.
The car vibrated and hummed as he pulled into the street, as though there was a purring kitten sitting on my lap.
We pulled to a light, and not a single person was around. I felt a little nervous again, and I think he could tell.
“Wanna have some fun?” he said.
I inched away from him slightly, assuming something nefarious.
“Not that kind of fun,” he inferred while revving the engine.
I sighed with relief and giggled at my own misunderstanding; I had a feeling we were about to be very irresponsible.
He stared at the hanging light, with his hand firmly grasping the shift lever. I wrapped my arm around the handle on the door, feeling my heart starting to race.
The light turned green. His hammered the gas hard and the tires began to screech and howl. Grey dust filled the air, and we shot down the road like a bullet from a gun.
He sped past more green lights, building up more speed until we reached my turn.
“Here!” I shouted and pointed to the right.
He smiled, revved the engine and shifted down, making the cars tail spin into the turn, causing the car to go sideways.
An odd thing occurred during my brief glimpse of death; I found that I wasn’t so nervous anymore. I even loosened my grip on the door and started enjoying the feeling of swaying with the motion of the car. The engine thumped, and I could feel each and every patter strike me in ways I hadn’t felt before. It felt like liberation.
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“Woo!” I shouted.
He laughed as he continued to drive like a maniac. And, before I wanted it to, our ride had come to an end. He slowed down as we approached the house in which I stayed.
I sat for a moment in the passenger seat, shaking with excitement. I couldn’t stop myself from giggling with giddiness.
“Okay, you better hop out,” he said, “I don’t want people to start talking.”
I slid from the car seat, my legs still feeling a little rubbery from the excitement. With the door shut, I leaned over the open window and blew him a kiss. I immediately regretted it; feeling a little embarrassed as he drove off.
My heart still raced, and my skin was still flush. I felt more alive now than any other time I could remember. I danced to my room, barely feeling the ground as I went along.
I wonder how often he gives people rides.
2.
“Isn’t Brad just gorgeous,” Jennie said as we sat in the stands watching them practice.
I rolled my eyes like I usually would; I doubt she ever saw me do it. She was always so absorbed by her boyfriend playing to ever really pay attention, anyway.
I adjusted my glasses, putting them to rest on the bridge of my nose. They were just slightly too big, but there was nothing I could do, new glasses weren’t in the budget.
“You know, I think Brad said that Mike was making eyes at you, I bet I could introduce you two, and you’d hit it off right away,” she said, rubbing my shoulder and shaking my glasses back down to the tip of my nose.
I furiously tucked them back to their usual spot.
“Mike is pretty cute,” I managed to squeak out.
“Perfect! Come with me to the party tonight and you can meet him. I think you guys would make a cute couple,” she said.
I hadn’t much interest, but I knew that Jennie would find another excuse to bring me to the party. Might as well just accept the first and move on.
I set aside my books; they weren’t holding my interest. I dwelled on the ride from last night and still felt the pangs of excitement shoot through my head.
