by Zoey Marcel
Malachi thrust gently into his body. He’d never felt so full and opened up before. It made him harder to know that the man was stretching him out with his big dick, changing his body. He was supposed to be a good boy on his way to New York, but instead he was in a bed, losing his innocence to a man he wasn’t supposed to be with.
He didn’t care what people said or thought. They were meant to be together. He felt it deep in his soul and knew Malachi did as well, even if his beliefs and duties did have him conflicted at times.
Sean pulled him closer so the preacher’s arms were wrapped more snugly around him. Malachi’s torso smoldered against his back. His pelvis ground against Sean’s bottom with each thrust that gave him a dizzying rush. His toes curled at the delicious way their legs entwined. Malachi’s legs were hairier than his. He loved that.
Moist heat ghosted against his neck when Malachi breathed on his skin and held him close. Their sweat mingled with each erotic movement of Malachi’s warmed-up groin against the sheen of perspiration coating Sean’s bottom.
His bulging cock sizzled in Malachi’s grasp, balls aching and filling with cum whenever the man stopped to massage them.
Engorged flesh rubbed against his titillated prostate again and again. He’d never experienced such pleasure before.
“I have … to come,” Sean said in jerky spurts. He felt completely intoxicated by the other man.
“You come when I do, baby.” Malachi kissed him behind the ear. “Make your body listen to me.”
A gasp wrung from him when Malachi’s thumb traced circles around his glans, spreading his pre-cum around. His nerves tingled beneath the teasing, flesh aching in his own moistness.
He called me baby like we’re a couple.
Malachi humped him faster, still taking care not to go bananas. The quicker tempo brought on discomfort, but Sean was so out of his mind with bliss he barely felt it. He just knew that the sharp prickles flaring on his prostate were getting stronger, his cock harder, and his blood hotter.
“Fuck,” Malachi breathed into his scalp. “You feel so good.”
A wild spasm tightened Sean’s penis. Electricity sizzled through his testicles. There was no turning back now.
“So do you.”
His eyes crossed when Malachi jerked his dick faster. His shaft ballooned up.
“I can’t hold back.”
“Come for me, sweetheart,” Malachi rasped as he jabbed into him.
The pet name made his eyes well. The scorching friction gripping his erection stole his control. He choked on a feral cry as he came hard. A tattered scream mangled in his throat when his ass bore down on Malachi’s dick.
“Sean!”
He shot off all over himself, nearly going blind with delight when Malachi roared his release and pounded into him harder. They lay there quaking in each other’s arms, panting heavily in the aftermath.
So that was what it felt like to go to bed with someone you loved.
They cuddled for a while, mostly in silence, periodically reminiscing about the good times and all the memories they’d made together. It was heaven on earth.
They went into the bathroom to shower together, but the intent to get clean quickly became dirty. A simple snogging turned into groping. They stood under the deluge of water and steam with an arm around one another while stroking each other’s cocks.
Heartache crept in through the electrical storm of lust. Silent tears streamed down Sean’s face. He subdued any tragic noises to keep the divine stimulation from stopping. They came within seconds of each other, heated cries merging as warm cum splashed up onto their bellies and hands.
Sean choked on a sob.
Malachi pulled back and tipped his chin up, looking concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t leave you,” Sean said while crying. “I love you so much.”
“I love you back.” Malachi’s eyes closed when he bowed his head and touched his forehead to Sean’s. “Please don’t cry. It breaks my heart.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I want to stay with you.”
“I want you to stay, too.”
Sean peeked up at him through tear-filled eyes.
Malachi looked tortured. “Baby, you know we can’t.”
“We could. I don’t mind being in the closet for you. Even if I have to pretend to be straight for the rest of my life, I don’t care.” Sean pawed at him in desperation. “I just want you.”
Malachi turned his head, seeming frustrated and tormented. “Sean, you made me a promise.”
“I want to break it.” Sean bent his head down as a fresh surge of tears rushed in.
Malachi pulled him into a snug embrace against his slick body. The man held him close and rubbed his back while Sean bawled on him.
“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly. “I never meant to hurt you. I shouldn’t have come here with you.”
Sean clutched him tight when Malachi tried to end the hug. “No. I’m glad we did this. We were meant to. We belong together. You know we do.”
Malachi’s hands stilled on his back, his arms tightened around him, and he buried his face in Sean’s neck. “I know.”
Sean’s heart clenched. “It’s not wrong. How can love be wrong when both people are unattached and nobody gets hurt?”
Malachi didn’t say anything. He didn’t move either.
“All I want out of life is to be with you,” Sean confessed softly.
Malachi pulled away, glancing down at the floor as his arms moved away from Sean. “You’re not making this any easier.”
“I know you want that. Tell me you don’t.”
“I do want it, but it’s not that easy.”
Sean took his hand. “Just retire early and we’ll move away together. We’ll keep it a secret until then, or we don’t have to ever tell anybody. I’m not in anyone’s face about who I am. I just want to be with you, even if nobody knows.”
“Hiding who you are is lonely. I won’t put you through that.”
“We won’t be lonely if we’re together.”
Malachi pulled his hand away and rubbed his eyelid, seeming torn. “I wouldn’t have had sex with you if I thought this would happen. I didn’t seduce you under any false pretenses. I told you up front that it couldn’t extend beyond this one time together.”
“I know that and I promise I’ll go if that’s what you really want, but I know it’s not. You want me to stay and be your partner. Just admit it.”
“You made a promise to me, Sean. You have to keep it.” The preacher clipped his tone, trying to appear cross, but the suffering showed in his eyes.
“I promised to get on the plane, but I never swore I wouldn’t come back to you.”
Malachi’s eyes weakened, getting glassy. “This was a mistake.”
“It wasn’t a mistake, goddamn it. Don’t pretend you regret it. I know you want me.”
“Sean, watch your mouth.”
“Sorry,” Sean said meekly.
“It wasn’t a mistake, but I’ll never forgive myself if your heart is broken over this.”
“Then don’t break my fucking heart.” Sean gripped his arms, voice beseeching. “Just admit you’re gay and you want me to be your bitch.”
“Shut up.” Malachi pinned him roughly up against the wall. “You made me a promise and I’m going to hold you to it. You’re not staying.”
“You can’t pretend forever. That’s why you broke up with Peggy, because you knew you would never love her like you do me.”
“I’m capable of treating a woman right.”
That had him good and pissed. “Is that the plan? You’re gonna get back with her after I leave for New York?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But that’s what you’re thinking.” Sean gave him a light shove. “If you do that I’ll hate you.”
Grief dimmed Malachi’s countenance as he stepped back.
Sean wanted to kick himself for the lie. He reached for Malachi, eyes stinging w
ith regret. “I didn’t mean it. I could never hate you.”
“I know you didn’t mean it.” Malachi shut the water off. “Towel off. We have to be at the airport soon.”
Water dripped from Sean. The draft when Malachi opened the shower door made him shiver. They dried off in agonizing silence. His heart crippled with anguish as he dropped to his knees and hugged Malachi’s legs, weeping onto them.
“You don’t know what you do to me. Your body turns me on so much, but it’s more than that. The sight of you naked leaves me in complete reverence. You’re like God to me.”
Malachi stiffened. “Sean, don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” The fingers strumming through his hair were soothing.
“Seeing you walk away is going to kill me.” Malachi’s voice caught.
Sean stood, eyes closing when Malachi brushed a hand over his soggy cheek.
“You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever known. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you,” Malachi told him.
Sean opened his eyes and saw that Malachi’s glistened with mist. “I’ll never stop loving you either.”
They shared one last kiss, savoring it before getting dressed.
The drive to the airport was quiet, suffocating. Only the radio had anything to say.
Malachi parked the car when they arrived. “Do you want me to go in with you?”
Sean shook his head, unable to speak for fear of crying again. “Yer So Bad” by Tom Petty came on.
“I’m deeply sorry for hurting you. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Don’t be. You were amazing.” Sean gave him a heartfelt smile.
“So were you.” Malachi touched his cheek and Sean nuzzled it. “Thank you. Those hours we spent together were the best of my life.”
Tears spilled from Sean’s eyes. “Every moment I spend with you is the best of my life.”
Tenderness passed through Malachi’s watery gaze as he reached for him. They held each other tight for a long moment.
“If I finish school like a good boy and then come back to you, will you be with me?” Sean asked softly.
Malachi ground his nose into Sean’s neck, arms firming around him. Hot droplets pinged onto Sean’s skin. His heart broke when he realized Malachi was weeping.
“Baby, you have to move on.” The preacher’s tone came out throaty, almost hoarse. “Please.”
Sean’s chest and throat ached. “But you’re my soul mate.”
Malachi kissed his neck and Sean felt a couple more drops moisten his skin. “You’re mine. You have to go, sweetheart. You’ll miss your flight if you don’t.”
The chorus especially touched him. He knew the song would always remind him of Malachi and this moment.
Sean kissed his neck, inhaling deeply, branding the memory of Malachi’s scent into his mind permanently. He got out of the car and then pulled out his carry-on and the carrier containing his dog from the backseat.
He poked his head down into the passenger’s side to take a final glimpse at his other half. “This is the hardest goodbye I’ve ever said.”
Malachi’s lips twitched, eyes grief-filled. “I know.”
“I meant what I said about coming back to you.”
He shook his head. “I’ve never met anyone so damned stubborn.”
“If you don’t want me to wait for you, then you’re gonna have to be the one to move on first, because I won’t. I’ll go to my grave loving you.”
“You don’t know what that means to me.” Malachi reached for his hand and Sean leaned in closer. “I want you to move on. You deserve to be happy.”
Sean felt his soul tug with feeling when Malachi kissed his hand.
“You should go.”
“Thanks for the lift.”
“You bet. Sean.” Malachi hesitated when Sean peeked back down into the car from outside. “I love you.”
Sean smiled. “I love you, too.”
They waved at each other as he shut the car door and then walked up to the building with his things.
Someday he would find a way for them to be together without it bothering Malachi’s conscience. They were perfect for each other. One day the preacher would see that and take him back. Waiting would be misery with so many miles separating them, but Malachi was worth the wait.
* * * *
Two weeks later Malachi Brodie sat in a booth at a restaurant in Stone River. The rain came down outside, leaving little streams trickling down the window. The snow couldn’t seem to make up its mind if it wanted to thaw or ice over from the freezing rain. The gray sky matched his mood, but he always found the rain soothing.
The small restaurant was moderately busy, but he might as well have been the only one in the room.
Quiet despair hovered over him, an empty feeling as gray and yielding as the overcast sky outdoors.
This was midlife, a crossroads of ambiguity that neither stimulated nor frightened him. He’d lived several decades, a reasonably full life. He was hardly old, but neither was he young anymore. He still had years ahead of him, Lord willing.
What to do with it?
Before Sean’s amorous confession it had been so perfect. He’d been content for life to continue on in that Garden of Eden perfection to the end of his days. Ironically, the serpent in his paradise had also been his Eve. Now the source of temptation was gone, but so was the beauty. He was left naked inside, alone.
Looking at forbidden fruit hadn’t been enough, but he’d restrained himself and focused on the fullness of the life he’d created with Sean.
Then the sexy Scotsman had waved the forbidden in his face, coaxed him to eat, to taste, to indulge.
Sean had texted him twice since then. The first time Malachi had reminded him of his promise not to contact him, so they could both move on. When Sean had texted him again Malachi never replied. It killed him not to.
Guilt was to be expected after they’d gone to bed together, but Sean’s undying hope made it even worse. To add to the remorseful heap of shit, he’d bumped into Aiden Friel a couple of times recently in town. Malachi could barely look him in the eye. The Irishman had sent his son to live with Malachi, be mentored by him—and Malachi had stolen his innocence. He loved Sean, but he couldn’t stop feeling dirty, ashamed.
He let out a heavy exhale and then chased the guilt down with several cold swallows of water. What he wouldn’t do for something stiffer right now. That would hardly be a good example, brooding and wallowing in booze in public, feeling sorry for himself rather than focusing on others.
At times he considered retiring and traveling. But adventure wasn’t what he was after, nor was he trying to find himself. He knew who he was, and it was settling down that he found himself wanting. Not just with anyone. He’d been content on his own—until Sean.
Now he was gone.
“Hearts” by Marty Balin played in the background. He’d always loved the song. This time when he listened to the words they hurt. He usually kept his feelings inside, ignored them when he had to, but something about the song drew them out. He didn’t shed a tear, never let it show, but his heart began to ache the more he listened to the lyrics.
“Here’s your card back. Whenever you’re ready.” It was the colorful one—Percy Gibbons, he thought his name was.
“Thanks.”
The flamboyant youth walked off.
Malachi went into his wallet to put his debit card away. He paused to look down at the only picture he kept in there. Running his thumb over the plastic, he took in the details of the photo he’d memorized to perfection.
He closed his wallet and set it on the table when he heard someone approaching.
“Hey, preacher!”
A young man sat down with his friend, picking up Malachi’s coat off the other seat and then tossed it over the table at him. The garment dragged at the hem, pushing utensils around the table and knocking condiments over. He set his coat down beside him, donning an affable demeanor to mask his pre
sently gloomy and somewhat cynical disposition.
“My friend here thinks he’s the anti-Christ.” The punk grinned.
The young man next to him looked serious and bothered by it. “I don’t think I am. I just dreamed I was.”
Malachi took a moment before answering, trying to get into pastor mode rather than the snarky humor he often used when he was with Sean. “It was just a dream.”
“But my dreams have a habit of coming true. A lot of people say the president is the anti-Christ, but what if that’s a decoy? What if it’s me?”
Malachi stared him down, waiting.
The guy’s straight face slipped up.
Malachi’s brows popped up briefly before lowering. “Well played, boys.”
“You idiot!” the first guy chewed his cackling friend out. “You gave it away.”
“I can’t help it,” the second guy admitted, pointing at Malachi. “You started to smile at me.”
Malachi shook his head and took another gulp of water.
A member of his congregation stopped on her way by his table. “Hi, Pastor Brodie. I put your name down for volunteering this weekend.”
“For what?”
Someone else walked up. “I have a question. Are you busy?”
He forced a smile. “No.”
“Okay, good.” The guy squeezed in next to Malachi, making him scoot over.
* * * *
“Oh my God, that poor man,” Percy Gibbons remarked to one of his coworkers.
Tali Fitzgerald snorted. “Him? Yeah, right.”
“He’s just trying to eat a meal by himself in peace and they’re all dog-piling on him.”
“Serves him right. He’s an ass.”
“He is, but being bothered when you just want to be alone sucks.”
“He’ll live. I’m sure they’re plotting their next hate rally.”
“Nah, I think they’re just asking him questions and for his time.” Percy still didn’t know how Sean could actually love the man. He felt bad for his friend, but he supposed Malachi had some good qualities. “You sound bitter.”
“I don’t like bigots.”
“They’re not all bigots. There are some pretty nice ones, like that Abigail Barnaby.”
