“Not JoAnn. She works so hard, she’s asleep before her head hits the pillow. I caught her sleeping at the table when I got home from work one day last week. I think I need to stop being a Mountie and move back East with her so she can live the life she’s used to.” Kendall was at a loss for what else to do. He couldn’t let JoAnn work herself into an early grave.
“Have you asked her if that’s what she wants?” Theodore asked, frowning. “I get the impression from Jess that she’s happy here.”
“How could she be? She’s working nonstop. Her hands were soft when she arrived, and now they have calluses. Well, she always had calluses on her fingertips from playing her instruments, but those are going away, and she has calluses on her palms from hard work. She shouldn’t have those!”
“Calm down, Kendall. You’re going to have to sit down and talk to your wife. Don’t jump to conclusions.”
“I’m not jumping to conclusions. I’ve analyzed the situation, and there’s no doubt in my mind what’s best for her.” Kendall shook his head. “I need to make sure she’s happy. She can’t be happy when she’s working herself to death.”
“She’s nowhere close to death. She’s just tired. We think we’re doing the hard thing by being out all day working, but I’d rather do what we do than spend all day cooking, cleaning, and doing whatever else the women do all day every day.”
“What do they do?” Kendall asked, confused.
“Well, from what I understand, your wife is spending all her time trying to learn to cook and shoot to please you.”
“Why doesn’t she know she already pleases me?”
“Have you told her?” Theodore asked. “Because I’m sure that would help.”
Kendall shook his head. “No, telling her will never work. I have to find a way to show her.”
“Kendall, you are never going to succeed at marriage until you learn to communicate with your wife. Have you told her you love her yet? That would go a long way toward making her happy, I guarantee.”
“Well, no. I’m waiting for her to tell me. I don’t want to feel stupid if I say it and she just sits there staring at me.”
Theodore sighed. “We’re almost there, so we can’t continue this, but you have got to learn to talk to your wife.”
JoAnn couldn’t stop falling asleep. Jess was teaching her to make a chicken pot pie for supper, and she couldn’t stay awake long enough to pay attention to the lesson. Jess shook her shoulder. “I think you need to go home and take a nap.”
“Nap? No way. I’ll never get everything done if I start taking naps. You don’t take naps.”
“No, I really don’t, but I would if I needed to. You need to. You’re spending all your time doing stuff you hate. I think tonight you need to come to supper at my house, and you and Kendall should play music for the rest of us.”
“I can’t start accepting supper invitations until I’m ready to reciprocate.”
“You are ready to reciprocate…besides, have you never heard of singing for your supper? Your skills lie in pleasing everyone else. You don’t need to be like the rest of us.”
JoAnn shook her head. “I have to learn to cook. Kendall will never love me if I don’t become a good wife.”
“Oh, sweetie…I think Kendall already loves you. Have you talked to him about it?”
“Well, no. But how can I? If I tell him I love him, and he doesn’t respond, I’ll be humiliated!”
Jess sat down at the table with her friend, ignoring the half-made chicken pot pie. “Someone has to say the words first. What if he’s spending all his time worrying that you don’t love him?”
“No way. Kendall doesn’t worry about anything.”
“Go home. Take a nap. You guys are coming over for supper tonight. You’re too exhausted to cook, and that’s that. I’ll invite the others, and you two can play and sing, and we’ll all dance. A good time will be had by all.” When JoAnn started to respond, Jess shook her head. “A good time that the rest of us can’t have without your music. We can all cook. We can’t all play and sing.”
JoAnn got to her feet, a bit unsteady with exhaustion. “I guess I’ll bake a cake then.”
“No! If you show up with food, I promise you I’ll accidentally drop it. You will nap today. Be well rested so you and Kendall can play music tonight. That’s all we want or need you to do.”
JoAnn nodded tiredly. “Fine. I’ll go sleep. But I refuse to like it.”
Jess laughed. “Go away!”
JoAnn went home and crawled straight into bed, not even removing her apron. Jess was right. She needed a night to only sing for her supper. She’d go back to being the kind of wife Kendall needed tomorrow. For tonight, she’d be the musician she’d been born to become.
Kendall walked into the cabin at the end of the day, feeling an eerie stillness. He and Theodore had managed to catch their criminals, and they were sitting in the jail there in the Mountie office. It had been a job well done, and the two of them were mighty proud of the work they’d done.
Searching the house, he finally found JoAnn sound asleep in bed. He sat down beside her, shaking her shoulder gently. “Hey. Are you all right?”
JoAnn sat up, blinking slowly. “I slept longer than I’d planned. I’m so sorry!”
Kendall shook his head. “You’re allowed to sleep when you’re tired.”
She leaned forward, resting her head on his shoulder. “We’re going to Theodore and Jess’s house for supper tonight. Jess said we’d provide the music, and the other ladies would provide the food. She thought I needed a night away from cooking.”
“I agree with her. You’re too fragile for all the work you’ve been doing. I think this life is much too hard for you. Have you considered going back to Ottawa?”
JoAnn felt her stomach sink. He didn’t want her. She was such a bad wife he was sending her back home to her parents. How would she ever hold her head up again? “I’ll work harder.”
“I don’t want you to work harder! You’re working too hard already!” He shook his head. “We’ll have this discussion later. For now, we need to get our instruments and go play and sing for our friends. If we’re singing for our supper, we need to be there on time and do a good job of it.”
JoAnn nodded, not letting her tears show. She wouldn’t let him see how much he’d hurt her. Later, when the lights were out, she could cry herself to sleep. For now, she’d go play music like it was the last time she was ever going to play for her friends…and it very well could be. She wondered if he was going to make her leave on the train on Thursday, or if he’d let her stay a little longer than that. Either way, she was leaving her friends, her husband, and the moose she’d grown to love.
10
The whole while they played and sang that night, JoAnn smiled, doing everything she could to hold the tears at bay. Knowing Kendall wanted to end their marriage and send her back to Ottawa made her feel like she’d truly failed at something for the first time in her entire life.
They played before and after supper, watching as the happy couples whirled around them. Why did all of the others seem so happy, when she was fighting for her marriage with everything she had left? What was wrong with her that she couldn’t make her man happy when all the other women could?
As they walked the short distance to their cabin, their instruments in their cases to protect them from the ever-constant rain, JoAnn fought against her emotions. She didn’t want to stay where she wasn’t wanted, but she so badly wanted to stay.
When they walked into the cabin, she set her violin down before turning to him. “You can’t send me away. I’ve worked too hard to learn to be the kind of wife you need! I can do better!”
Kendall gaped at her in shock. “I’m not sending you away! I’m going to stop being a Mountie and move back to the city with you. I just can’t watch you slowly kill yourself working so hard!” How could she even think he’d send her away? Had she lost her mind?
“But you love being a Mountie. And I�
��m not killing myself. I’m just learning to work hard. Every other woman in the West does it, and I can do it too.”
He stepped closer to her, ready to shake some sense into her. “I do love being a Mountie, but I love being your husband more.” He stared at her for a moment. “I love you more!”
“I refuse to let you give up your position as a Mountie to move to the city, when I know you’d hate it! I—wait, what did you say?”
“I love being your husband more than I love being a Mountie!”
“No, after that.”
He smiled, gathering her close to him. “I love you more than being a Mountie. I love you more than I ever dreamed I could love someone.” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “Is that what you meant?”
“That’s exactly what I meant! I love you too, you big idiot!”
“Idiot? Did you just call me an idiot?” He shook his head at her. “You can’t call me an idiot and tell me you love me all in one sentence!”
“Well, I just did. I’ve been working from dawn to dusk to be the best wife I could be so you’d love me.”
“Who’s the idiot now? I’ve been in love with you for weeks!”
“You have?” She shook her head. “But I couldn’t cook or clean or do any of those wifely things!”
He sighed. “I didn’t need you to be able to do those things to love you. I needed you to be you. To play music with me. To play chess with me. Do you know tonight’s the first time we’ve played music together in weeks?”
“I’ve been too tired, because it takes too much energy to cook and clean and sew buttons and darn socks. Do you know how much I hate your darn socks?”
“I wanted you to be able to cook something I could eat, but you could have made pancakes every day for months, and I’d have been happy. I didn’t need you to learn to make all kinds of fancy eggs and stuff. I just needed to have edible food.”
She searched his face. “You don’t need me to be the perfect wife?”
“Why would I need that? I fell in love with the girl who messed up the chicken and dumplings and played music with me. Do you know how much more confident I feel about my guitar playing now that I can read music? You’ve changed my life in so many ways.”
She buried her face against his chest and let the tears fall. “I worked so hard to be good enough, and I was good enough to start?” She sniffled loudly. “I feel like an utter nincompoop.”
He held her tightly. “Don’t cry. Now I feel like I’ve hurt you. I wanted to move back to Ottawa because I thought the hard work of living in the West and being a Mountie’s wife was making you too sad to play your music. If you stopped playing, the world would be a terrible place.”
She looked up at him, the tears still clinging to her lashes. “I stopped playing because I was too tired trying to be what I thought you wanted me to be. Now that I know you don’t care, I’ll just make easy meals and play my music more.”
“I like that idea. And when people want you to come over and sing so they can dance, you need to let them feed us. We’re working hard to make their lives better, so they can pay us in food. Doesn’t bother me a bit.”
She laughed. “So if I want a quilt made, I should sing for the others while they make it instead of helping them?”
“Sure! If you can talk them into working while you play, who am I to argue with that?”
“You know what, Kendall?”
He shook his head. “No, what?”
“I like the way you think. Well, I like the way you’re thinking right now, but not the way you think when you want me to go back to Ottawa.”
He frowned. “I still think we should go back East. I think life here is too hard for you. I can’t ask you to give up the lifestyle you were born to so you can cook and clean for me. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I tell you what. I will stop trying to be the perfect Western wife if you will stop threatening to take me back East.”
He took her hand and pulled her over to the table, sitting down and pulling her into his lap. “I can’t let you keep working so hard.”
She sighed. “But that’s what I’m saying. I’ll stop working so hard. I don’t want you to give up everything you’ve spent your whole life working for. I mean, they’d take away your red serge jacket!”
He laughed. “You only love me for my red serge!”
“Nah…I love the hat too. The whole uniform.”
He pulled her down and kissed her. “Let’s make a deal.”
She eyed him skeptically. “What kind of deal?”
“I was thinking that we’d try this for a year. If at the end of the year, you’re unhappy, then we’ll move to Ottawa, and I’ll find a job there. I could still be a policeman, but maybe not a Mountie anymore.”
“Why would you be a policeman if you couldn’t wear red serge?”
“Are you going to be serious at all?”
She sighed. “Yes, I can agree with that deal…but I won’t be unhappy, because I’ll be married to the man I love.”
He shrugged. “I hope that’s the case. But if it’s not, I promise you, we’ll go East. I can’t risk you being unhappy.”
“I’m sure a lot of wives are unhappy, Kendall. It’s just how life works.”
“Not my life, and not my wife.”
She snugged closer to him. “I love it when you rhyme.”
“It’s a deal, though, right?”
JoAnn nodded. “Sure. I won’t be unhappy, so it really doesn’t matter now, does it?”
September 1911
“Are you sure you don’t want to go back East? You should be with your mother!” Kendall looked at her worriedly.
“I don’t want to be with my mother. Women have babies every day. What’s different about me?” JoAnn thought he was being ridiculous. She patted her round belly affectionately.
He shrugged. “You’ve always been pampered. You shouldn’t be having babies in the middle of nowhere. You should have a doctor attending you.”
“Jess did fine without a doctor. So will I.”
“Jess is made of hardier stock than you. She was raised without all the wealth and privilege you had.” Kendall knew he was making no sense, but he wanted her to have proper medical facilities for having the baby.
JoAnn glared at him. “You’ve spent the last year holding my background against me. You’ve just been waiting for a reason to send me back to Ottawa. Well let me tell you something, Constable Jameson. I’m happy here. I’m happy being married to you, and I’m happy living in British Columbia. I’m even happy having a moose for a pet! So you are not sending me back home, because I refuse to go! I’m having this baby right here! Today!”
“What do you mean today? You said the baby was due at the beginning of October. The baby can’t come yet. We’re not ready!”
“You may not be ready, but I am. I’ve been making clothes for the baby, and they’re all ready. There are blankets and sleepers. I even learned to knit so I could make the baby little tiny booties.” She shrugged. “Whether you’re ready or not, this baby is coming.”
“But…I haven’t given you the gift I made for the baby, and your mother isn’t here!”
“My mother doesn’t need to be here. You need to stop panicking. Get me the gift for the baby, and go get Jess. She’ll help me with the labor.” Her mother? What did her mother have to do with anything?
His eyes widened. “Jess hasn’t been trained in first aid. How is she supposed to help with the baby! I’m the one with training!”
“You may have training, but you’re also the one panicking. Go get Jess, and get me the gift. I can look at it while I labor.”
“I can’t leave you while you’re having the baby!”
She sighed. “First babies take a long time to arrive. I’ve been reading about this for months, and I helped Jess with her baby, remember?”
“I remember, but I can’t leave you!”
“Kendall, if you don’t leave me, I’m going to take your guitar and b
ash you over the head with it, because you’re making me absolutely crazy. Go. Get. Jess.”
He left the cabin, still grumbling. She should have better conditions to give birth in. Her mother should be there. He ran next door to get Jess. “JoAnn’s in labor. She wants you! Hurry!”
Jess grinned at the panicked look in Kendall’s eyes. She looked over her shoulder at Theodore. “Good thing it’s a Sunday and everyone’s home. I just fed Jack, and he’s content for a while. Bring him to me if he gets hungry. I’m going to go deliver Jack’s best friend…or future bride. I’d be content with either!”
Theodore looked up from the book he was reading. “All right. Happy birthing!”
Jess laughed and waved as she walked next door. She wasn’t sure why, but Kendall had run toward Joel’s cabin. She ignored the man and checked on her friend. “How are you feeling?” she asked as she opened the door.
“Kendall’s making me crazy, but other than that, I think I’m all right. I’ve been walking, because that seems to help the pains.”
“You’re a little early, but not too much. Do you know how far apart the pains are?”
“A couple of minutes. I’ve got some time. Kendall’s supposed to be fetching the gift he made me, but I will never forgive you if you let him back in this house. The man has been trying to send me back East all morning, and I’m not going!”
“He thinks your mother should be here,” Jess said with a grin. “I can’t imagine your mother helping in a situation like this. She’d just get in the way.”
JoAnn grinned. “I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit. She did give birth a few times.”
“I know…but I can’t see her being good while someone else is in labor. She’s more the type to call in the midwife and serve tea.”
JoAnn laughed. “I’m glad you’re here with me. I can’t imagine going through such an important moment without you beside me.”
“I wish Lisa was here. But I’m glad she’s happy now, too.”
RNWMP: Kendall (Mail Order Mounties Book 1) Page 9
