“I chose pleasure for us. But we’ve more rooms to explore.”
She huffed. “I want you now.”
He cocked his head. “Why did you come here with me?”
For a moment she didn’t know how to answer him. “I don’t understand. I came here to be with you. I thought…”
Her words trailed off. Confusion swirled through her.
Wren cupped her face tenderly. “Who is Caroline?”
She frowned. “I feel like I’ve fallen into some type of time warp.”
“It’s an easy question. Who. Is. Caroline.”
“I’m … I’m a store manager.”
“Interesting that you would say that, but that’s not what I meant.” He tapped her chest, over her heart. “Deep down, who are you?”
“I don’t know what you mean!” Anger swirled through her. “If you’re asking what do I want in life, I guess I want what everyone else does. Security. Enough money to live comfortably…”
“That’s basic survival, Caroline. That’s not living.”
She blinked. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“In general, or just to me?”
Her shoulders drooped a little from the interrogation. One moment she’d been having pleasure, and the next the bottom had fallen away, leaving her frustratingly bewildered. “What do you want from me, Wren?”
“I want the Caroline I know is dying to come out,” he said. “I can see such life in your eyes, but you repress yourself so much it’s slowly dimming.”
She pulled away from him. “Repress? I think I’ve been anything but repressed around you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t mean sexually.”
“Sex is all I have, Wren. Anything else hurts too much.”
“You can’t stay numb forever, Caroline. It’s not healthy.”
All the memories and pain that Greg had instilled in her came rushing to the surface, and it took all her strength to tamp them down again. Tears pricked her eyes. Suddenly, the promising evening had turned sour and all she wanted to do was run. She turned on her heel and marched to the door.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I need to leave.”
“Wait.” A hand came down on her arm, halting her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“No,” she whispered. “You shouldn’t have. You have no right.”
He sighed. “You’re right.”
She turned and their gazes clashed. “This is a vacation fling, isn’t it?”
Silence stretched between them. Wren never broke his gaze as she waited for his answer. “Sure. A fling. I’ll take you back to the hotel.”
“You can stay if you like.”
“I wanted to share this with you, Caroline. Maybe next time.”
She didn’t have the heart to point out the obvious. There wouldn’t be a next time.
Chapter Nine
It was past midnight and Caroline couldn’t sleep.
She lay in bed, alone, listening to Aldy’s delicate little snores, recounting her actions at Perversions. It had been wicked. Delicious. Wren had made her feel secure and not embarrassed at all that she had gotten aroused by watching two people fuck in front of her.
Then his questions had started. She might be willing to share her body, but her heart was another matter altogether. Thankfully, he seemed to have understood and dropped the subject, but Caroline couldn’t help but think that somehow she had lost her chance at the intimacy they seemed to have formed. Truth be told, it was a little heartbreaking.
True to his word, what they had together was nothing but a fling. Great sex––and nothing more. Once they had gotten to his room, they had been frenzied. Clothes scattered as urgency took over. They had come together in a flurry of heated kisses and heavy petting. And though it had been wild and satisfying, a small part of her realized it hadn’t been as fulfilling as earlier encounters. Wren had passed out in sleep right after, and Caroline had taken the opportunity to leave. To go back to her room she shared with Aldy and shower. And although her body was bone tired, her mind couldn’t find rest.
She and Greg had been high school sweethearts. When he had told her he had a desire to move to Los Angeles to pursue his love of acting, she had supported his dream. And after they had married, she had done any job she could find to pay the bills while he went on audition after audition. And though it had been a constant struggle to stay afloat financially, she had been secure in the knowledge that she at least had love.
But over the course of their marriage, Greg had changed in a way that she didn’t quite recognize. He made friends with people she couldn’t identify with, talked about things she had no knowledge of, and stayed out longer and longer.
Through it all, Caroline hadn’t said one thing to him. She had let him be who he had become. She had taken the side road instead of walking beside him, bottling up the outrage and resentment that had been born from dead love. Hating him, and then hating herself for not caring more. And she had told herself when the divorce had been finalized that she would change, that she would become the woman who would make Greg grovel at her feet and beg for forgiveness.
But all she’d managed to do was retreat inside a shell to protect herself from being hurt again in the future.
New York City had become a game changer. Wren Calder wasn’t someone she’d been prepared for, and his words echoed deep in her soul. Numb. Yes, it was an apt description. Caroline realized that instead of living, she had been merely surviving. Being numb meant she wouldn’t be hurt. She wouldn’t have to care.
She wasn’t sure if she was ready to feel again.
Caroline sighed and rubbed her temples. Thoughts of Greg always brought a headache. She ignored the little voice in her head whispering that perhaps it was too late already to return to her comfortable cocoon. The numbness was starting to fade.
Chapter Ten
“I was so hoping to get the Mystery Machine,” Aldy said, a tiny whine escaping through her voice.
Caroline looked behind her and down the Ferris wheel to see the car they had missed acquiring. Each car was different, one being the Little Tykes car and another the alien spaceship from Toy Story. While standing in line at the toy store ride, the conductors asked for two people, and so they had volunteered, jumping ahead in line. Only their car ended up being the one they didn’t want.
“Yeah, I was never much into Cabbage Patch Kids,” Caroline added, looking at their car.
Aldy was busy clicking away with her camera from atop the four-story wheel located inside the toy store, because where else would a Ferris wheel fit in the middle of Manhattan?
“I’m so glad this weekend is almost over,” Aldy continued, heedless of Caroline’s more somber mood. “Just gotta get through the mixer tonight, and then it’s home sailing tomorrow afternoon. It’s so hard talking with all the financial people. It’s like we’re trying to run a business or something!”
Oblivious to her friend, Caroline’s mind wandered as she stared across the car’s door as the wheel went round and round.
“Caro,” Aldy said sternly.
Caroline blinked and turned her gaze onto Aldy’s frowning face.
“That was a totally funny joke and you didn’t laugh.”
“I’m sorry, Aldy. What did you say?”
Aldy sighed. “Never mind. You’re a space case today, you know.”
“I’ve been thinking of Wren,” Caroline admitted.
“That is still a sort of ‘ew’ subject,” Aldy replied, squishing up her face.
“Oh please,” Caroline bit back. “You had sex in my bathroom once. I had to scrub the toilet with bleach, Aldrin, and buy a new shower curtain.”
“I had completely forgotten about that!” Aldy exclaimed. Her eyes took on a thoughtful look as she searched her memory. “What was his name? Corey? Cody?”
“His name was Stan,” Caroline reminded her dryly.
“Stan,” Aldy repeated, pursing her lips and l
ooking pensive. “Stan. Nope, got nothing.”
“You are such a slut.”
“So says the woman who slept with a man on her first date. Wait! It wasn’t even a date!” Aldy stuck her tongue out and then started laughing so hard she had to wipe the tears that leaked from her eyes. “God, Caro, I miss you. When are you moving back to Los Angeles?”
Caroline looked at her friend. They had met years ago when they had been working in the same building, she on the third floor and Aldy on the second. One morning the elevator had gotten stuck somewhere between the first and second, which wouldn’t have been so bad except they had both been on the damn thing when it malfunctioned. It took the fire department more than half the day to rescue them.
They were almost night and day, in appearance and in attitude, but something between them clicked. Aldy had been born in India and adopted by an American couple as a baby, while Caroline had grown up as a blonde southern cheerleader in a devout Christian home. Yet regardless of their backgrounds, Caroline counted herself very lucky to have found Aldrin Crenshaw.
“I don’t know, Aldy. L.A. is a little expensive for living on my own.”
“So move in with me,” her friend said.
Caroline thought for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “L.A. is the place people go to chase their dreams of showbiz.” She shook her head. “I was never into that scene. It was all about Greg.”
“Well then, how about New York? I could transfer to our studio here, and we could get an apartment in Manhattan.” Aldy grabbed Caroline’s hand. “It would be so awesome!”
“One, there’s nine million people living on an island, which makes rent about a hundred times worse than L.A. Two, you hate the cold.”
Aldy cocked her head. “Cold?”
Caroline nodded. “They have winter here, you know. December. January. Snow and lots of it.”
Aldy actually shivered, letting go of Caroline’s hand to hold it up, as if warding away what she said. “Okay, so I’m going back to California. Nice, always sunny California. And you’re going back to Baton Rouge, to what? Rusticate? Become a cat lady?”
“No!” Caroline laughed. “I’m allergic to cats.”
“Thank God for the little things. You should totally find a good man and fall in love, but do it properly this time.”
Caroline’s eyebrows shot straight up. “Properly? What does that mean?”
“Find a career-minded working man, date him an appropriate amount of time, and eventually graduate to sex, marriage and two point five kids … instead of marrying a dreamer and supporting him for years.”
Caroline sighed. “I now realize that Greg was a schoolgirl love, and once I came to terms with that then it was easier to understand: no matter what I would’ve done, my marriage never could have survived.”
“So you’re over Greg. Does that mean you’re in love with my boss?”
“No, of course not,” Caroline replied. “I’ve known him only two days.”
“Sometimes falling in love only takes an instant.”
“Insta-love doesn’t exist.”
“Of course it does,” Aldy stated emphatically.
“Oh yeah? When have you ever experienced insta-love?”
A sad darkness passed over Aldy’s face. “When I was twenty years old, I met a man. His name was Eric. As soon as he said hi to me, I was hopelessly in love.”
Shock poured through Caroline. She’d known Aldy for years and had never heard of a man named Eric. “What happened?”
“He died. Car accident.” Aldy shook her head. “You never know how long you have on this earth, Caro. If you can find a way to be happy then you have to grab onto it and not let go.”
The words shook Caroline to her core. They brought back all the things she’d thought about last night.
“For a long time after I found out about Greg’s affair, I hated the entire male population,” Caroline said.
“Honey, any girl would hate a penis after being cheated on.”
“Crude, but effectively succinct.”
Aldy pointed to herself with her thumb. “That’s me, the epitome of succinctness.”
“But then my anger faded and I felt … nothing. And for a while now, I’ve decided the only way to live would be to play it safe. To not fall in love ever again.”
“That’s unrealistic,” Aldy said. “It’s who we are as humans, to find and be with others. Love is natural and wonderful and when it’s right it’s everything those sappy songs say it is. Believe me, Caro.”
Caroline looked out the Ferris wheel car at the shopping levels as they rolled by. “Wren asked me who I was last night. I didn’t know how to answer him.”
“What if he asked you to move to Paris to be with him? Would you go?”
“No,” Caroline answered immediately.
“Why not?”
“Because he won’t ask.”
“How do you know he won’t?”
“Because this is a weekend fling, destined to end tomorrow at four in the evening.”
“It doesn’t have to end, Caroline. Granted, if you end up marrying him it’ll be like seeing my parents do the nasty all over again, but I’m willing to live with it if he makes you happy.”
“Aldy, I don’t love Wren. I can’t love Wren. He’s the rebound.”
“What if he’s not?”
“Well, like you said. I have to find the perfect man for me. Besides, he’s never once mentioned wanting more from me.”
“He might ask,” Aldy persisted. “About moving to Paris.”
“Don’t hold your breath, my friend. Now, aren’t you hungry?” Caroline asked, smiling brightly as she changed the subject. “I’m starving.”
“Not very subtle, but yes.”
“What do you feel like eating?”
“Perhaps we should go someplace other than Times Square. I don’t want to pay twenty dollars for another hamburger.”
“You’re on.”
Chapter Eleven
Caroline walked into the hotel bar, searching in the dimness for Wren. He had invited her to the mixer that signified the end of Troublemaker’s semi-annual financial and pre-planning meeting. She saw his tall frame toward the back and started walking. Only as she neared did she see the stunning redhead from the other day standing next to him. Their bodies were leaning toward each other and Wren had his hand resting on her shoulder. Ordinarily, such an innocent pose would not knock the breath from her body. But this did. There was something very intimate about Wren’s hold, his thumb lightly rubbing the redhead’s skin.
Jealousy surfaced, and before Caroline could tamp it down, she locked eyes with the woman. A moment passed, one that didn’t need words because the meaning was clear. A language only two women after the same man could speak. The redhead gave a dark, mocking smile before saying something to Wren, who bent his head to hear.
Caroline escaped into the bathroom to take a moment to collect herself. She stood in front of the mirror, seeing not her reflection but an image of Wren and the woman in bed together. His body thrusting into hers as she clawed his back in equal desire.
It shouldn’t have bothered her because she made her peace with her emotions. Or she thought she had. In any case, she thought she’d come to terms with her temporary position in Wren’s life, but jealousy didn’t respond to common sense.
The door opened and the redhead walked in, coming to stand beside Caroline and staring into the mirror as she reapplied lipstick. Caroline’s heart hammered but she refused to stare at the woman.
“So,” the redhead said by way of greeting. “You’re the weekend plaything.”
“Excuse me?” Caroline snapped, her eyes flashing over to meet the woman’s.
“I could see it on your face.” The woman sighed as she put her lipstick back in her clutch bag. “He’s not a faithful type of man. I should know,” she added, smiling ruefully. “I was engaged to him. Being faithful isn’t in his nature. But then again, is it in any man’s?”
The redhead turned and walked out without a backward glance. Caroline watched her retreat, a mixture of rage and frustration surging through her. The comments reverberated through Caroline’s mind, down through her body to punch a hole into her heart. The air left her lungs in a deflated hiss, and she slumped against the sink counter.
He had cheated on his fiancée?
The thought had her old fears roaring back to life. Even if she had been contemplating more with Wren, she could never be with someone who had cheated in their relationship. It was then she realized she might be a bit more emotionally invested in Wren than she’d previously thought, and the knowledge rocked her to her core. She was playing with fire, because he was not a permanent situation.
She had to get out of there. Get away from him.
Caroline returned to the party, the redhead’s words playing through her mind like a broken record. She saw Wren immediately and a smile lit up his face when he saw her. She could see the desire flare in his eyes as he appraised her from head to toe. Caroline knew she looked great in the cherry red sheath gown that hooked at her neck and fell in a ripple of silk. Her arms were bare and she clutched a dainty bag in her left hand.
But despite the warmth of the room and the heat of his gaze, she felt cold inside. Felt her soul slip back into that comfortable numbness. He held out his hand for her but she couldn’t take it. After a moment, with a puzzled frown, he dropped it back to his side. Instead he moved beside her and placed his hand in the small of her back, guiding her forward, and she let him because slipping back into the mask was easy. It was safe to let the void inside grow until she was nothing left but a beautifully wrapped shell.
They spent some time mingling, though most of the people blurred around her. She caught glimpses of Aldy, always with a nearly empty champagne flute, smiling and having fun, but unlike her friend she wanted to escape the crowd, the people.
“Ready for dinner?”
Caroline looked up at Wren and nodded, anxious to escape the cloying sensation of the room squeezing in on her. He waved goodbye to various people as they made their way out of the banquet hall toward the elevators.
A Man After Midnight Page 6
