by Dillon Khan
Eventually his mobile phone interrupted things before I could reveal my own relationship woes. He showed me the screen. ‘Leila. She’s probably drunk somewhere and wants to be picked up.’ He pressed decline. ‘I can’t handle her right now.’
As he got to his feet, he paused. ‘For the record, you’re doing really well. People are impressed. But you’ve still got a long way to go.’
Oh my God, I hope the security cameras are picking this up, I thought. It was the first compliment he’d ever given me.
‘Oh, and I have a camera by my desk and some DV tapes that need logging for tomorrow morning. And I want Aaliyah found. Vamos, vamos!’ He turned and walked off towards the stairs.
The feel-good factor of bonding with him went away in an instant as Max switched back to being my boss. I put my headphones on and began logging the tapes while eating one Snickers bar after another from the vending machine in the cafeteria. By the time I was done it was midnight. I checked my phone – I’d been completely unaware of the several texts on my phone from Sophia wondering where I was, Pritz tempting me with a party, Isabel asking if I wanted to meet up for a drink and my mum thanking me for ‘the greatest night out in ages’. The last took some guilt off my shoulders.
I kept pressing delete as I skimmed through emails I hadn’t read since the end of the working day, propping my tired head in my left hand.
Moments later I paused as my mind caught up with an email from the Production manager, Gwyneth.
To: Merchant, Jay
Subject: URGENT – Please put Max’s camera under my desk
Jay,
Please ensure the camera Max borrowed from me is placed under my desk as it’s needed for a shoot first thing in the morning. Also your tapes are safely in my drawers. I only just saw them under a pile of folders in my in-tray before I left work. Also can you confirm your edits for next week …
I didn’t read the rest as I jumped up and raced over to her desk. As I stood there holding the tapes in my hand, my memory came flooding back. When I got back from the interview in Paris, I had rushed back to the office to give Gwyneth our camera for someone else’s shoot. In a hurry I had taken the tapes out and must have absent-mindedly put them in her in-tray as I checked the camera bag wasn’t missing anything.
I got back to my desk and sent my final email for the day before heading home. I was exhausted but relieved I’d saved myself from a certain P45 form from HR.
To: All@NottingHill
Subject: URGENT – Missing Aaliyah tapes FOUND
Dear All,
Many thanks to Gwyneth for helping to track down Aaliyah. You win a signed CD of her new single. Everyone else can watch her on Total BEATS this Thursday at 9pm in her full glory. Don’t miss it!
Jay
Intern, Total BEATS & Defm8
21
Summertime
Sorting out the shows each week was a Herculean task. Hunting down content from the latest gossip to exclusive videos and features, I had to beg, borrow and steal from people as Max just wouldn’t accept excuses. We’d been snowed under with several shoots and edits this week and I hadn’t had much time to prepare for tomorrow’s recording.
Thankfully the gods were smiling on me and the shows were almost making themselves. In a single morning I’d managed to get a heap of exclusive music videos. Negotiations for these were normally tough and done between all the producers weeks in advance. Everything was up for swapsies like kids in a school playground trading Panini football cards. An exclusive spin of an Eminem video was always hard to come by and demanded a lot of mediocre artists’ videos in return. In Panini terms it was like swapping the Manchester United team badge for the entire Tottenham Hotspurs squad.
The reason for all the goodwill was the much-famed Beat staff summer party. People were barely working as they counted down the clock, and it wasn’t even lunchtime. Even the senior lot, who’d been there, seen it and got herpes from previous parties, were excited. Max had gone as far as giving himself the day off to prepare – drinking at Soho House with Stuey.
Before we could get to the fun, the walkways upstairs were busy as the management team ran around like they were interns getting mail. They were preparing for the arrival of Gibaidem Corporation’s owners, who were in town to see how this corner of the empire was doing. It was bizarre to see the usually calm Darth Vader looking jumpy.
By twelve thirty p.m. the building was almost empty as people left for an indefinitely extended lunch to go shopping for outfits or get their hair done. I still had the show script to finish off but that could be done later and I slipped out to meet Sophia for lunch at Zilli Fish in Soho. The streets of central London had been taken over by kids now that schools and universities were closed for the summer.
‘So, birthday girl, what can I get you today?’ I asked as I sat stuffing my face with bread and olives.
Sophia laughed. ‘My birthday’s not for a few weeks.’
‘Who cares, let’s start early,’ I said eagerly.
‘In that case, just this is perfect.’
‘What, bread?’
‘No, you taking time out from work in the middle of the day to make me feel more important than your job.’
I cringed inwardly. I wasn’t about to tell her the place was a ghost town in preparation for tonight. Anything that decreased our recent friction, due to my lack of attention since she returned from university, was welcome.
‘Babe, of course you’re more important.’
‘Well, I haven’t felt like it. I feel like a stalker – calling, texting and not getting a response.’
‘You know what, you’re right,’ I said, raising my hands and taking the blame. ‘I was drowning before but I’m getting to grips with things now.’
‘Wow, I’ve never seen you so …’
I stuffed some olives into my mouth, making my cheeks bulge. ‘Gluttonous?’
‘Confident! What a difference four months has made.’
‘I am and it’s all because of work.’ I thought back to my success that morning in securing the content for the show. People liked me. ‘I feel like I’m an important cog in the machine and not just an intern. Like I’m actually valuable. In fact, why don’t you come in one day and watch the show being filmed?’ I was getting carried away and making blind promises. ‘I was also thinking we should consider going away for a week. We deserve it.’
‘Er, what about Max?’ Sophia raised an eyebrow, recalling all the horror stories.
‘What about him?’ I said, dismissing him with a straight face. A few seconds later we both burst out laughing.
‘Seriously, I promise hand-on-heart things will be much better. I’ve just got to sort out my work–life balance. Anyway, not another word about work. Let’s talk about you,’ I said, leaning in.
She paused as her ears twitched and her eyes lit up. I’d forgotten this was what she’d wanted all this time – to feel special. It made me feel good to get things right for once. Our lifestyles had been so out-of-sync lately that even I’d started to notice the lack of contact.
I continued being the attentive boyfriend after lunch as we criss-crossed between shops. We were tantric shopping – looking around for hours and not buying anything. Until we got to Selfridges, that is. Gladiator sandals were the must-have for girls this summer so I pulled out the credit card. Luckily the sales offered me the chance to be a big cheese without breaking the bank. To top off the day, I got a nice thank you from Sophia in the men’s changing room.
Spending the afternoon with Sophia after such a long time apart was like human photosynthesis. Energized, I eventually returned to the office at six p.m., in time for the massive school assembly that was Darth Vader’s Europe-wide company speech. The tables in the Greenhouse were stacked with bottles of beer, wine and snacks to nibble on as Bon Jovi’s ‘It’s My Life’ played through the speakers. There were lots of n
ew faces, not just from the Mayfair offices but also from Paris, Stockholm, Berlin, Madrid and everywhere in between. I grabbed a bottle and joined the rest of my department.
When he began it was clear Darth wasn’t a very good communicator to large audiences. Monotone and stiff, he was smart enough to know this was his second-in-command’s strength and let him take centre stage as soon as possible. When he did, the Doc was truly in his element, just as he’d been for our induction, which seemed a lifetime ago now. Each announcement of good news was met by rapturous applause from everyone in the building and a swig of their drinks. He namechecked outstanding work from each department, surprising Max and me with praise for the high ratings and fan base we were getting across Europe.
At the end, he played a showreel of the company’s programmes, achievements and awards that would further whip up everyone’s euphoria. Edited in The Beat way, with really fast cuts and a booming soundtrack that reverberated round the building, it came to an explosive end with the sound of a beating heart with words on a black background: THEMUTHAFRIKKINBEAT – DOIN’ IT FOR THE KIDS.
Cue whoops as everyone applauded with a sense of communal pride that they were part of something that was truly awesome. As everyone upstairs clinked beer bottles and wine glasses together in celebration, I noticed a handful of people sat at their desks, refusing to get sucked in to it all. They’d have been the ones to point out the imminent budget cuts and sackings, no doubt.
‘Your chariots await outside,’ someone from HR instructed over the microphone.
Iconic London Routemaster buses had been hired to whisk us away to the secret venue, where a feast of food and entertainment lay ahead. People quickly finished getting ready in the toilets, the talent dressing rooms and anywhere they could score a quick line, pill or toke.
‘Well, it looks like you’re in pole position for that job, doesn’t it, you jammy fuck,’ said Cara as our bus wobbled its way around central London, leaving everyone guessing where we would end up.
‘What? Why?’ I said, glugging back yet another bottle of Stella.
‘Er, hello, you and your boss just got a namecheck.’
I paused for a moment, not knowing what to say. Normally I’d try to play it down but for some reason on this occasion I didn’t. ‘That’s cos we’re the shit,’ I said with a cheesy grin.
Cara rolled her eyes. ‘You’ve been hanging around James III too long.’
Sam instantly backed her up. ‘Like Public Enemy, “Don’t believe the hype!”’
Were they happy for me and joking? Or was I being an obnoxious twat? For once I didn’t over-analyse. I had a nice buzz running through me, and not just from the alcohol. The memory of the Doc singling us out suddenly made my chest grow ten times in size and I felt like I was Michael Jordan, walking on air.
22
Perfect Day
The wheels on the bus went round and round, accompanied by the impromptu singalong of anything from ABBA and MJ to Nina Simone and Led Zeppelin. Eventually we all clambered off and piled into a huge warehouse that was the venue for the party.
Tonight’s festivities had avoided the new cost-cutting measures only because it had been organized and paid for months before. James III and I explored the venue to find several rooms each with a specific genre of music, with DJs and stages set up for performances. My eyes were running laps around the rooms, eyeing up all the talent.
James III soon realized my attention was elsewhere. ‘Oh, I see you’re tempted?’
‘Tempted? No … just admiring,’ I replied.
‘Oh sure, bloody sure. I’ve seen that look before at a particular house party,’ he said, rubbing his chin, unconvinced.
I ignored him as we continued to the chill-out area – filled with beanbags and scented candles – but quickly exited. Next to that was a games room, with table football, Scalextric track, karaoke machine, mini casino and a sumo-wrestling ring with matching inflatable suits, which we were soon climbing into.
James III was in Sherlock Holmes-mode by that point. ‘C’mon, Merchant, who’ve you got the hots for?’
‘There’s definitely some nice women, I’m not blind. But … I mustn’t,’ I said, charging into him in my sumo suit.
‘Mustn’t?’ He laughed, tripping and pinning me to the floor. ‘Not even Kate in T.A.D.?’
I paused very briefly. ‘No. I don’t cheat.’ I tried to push him off.
‘But I thought your missus does your head in?’
‘Yeah, occasionally. But on the whole she’s good and I’m sure I’m not easy to be with right now.’
‘No other creature on this planet has just one mate,’ he said, teasing me.
‘Not true, some creatures do.’
‘Yeah, and then the black widow spider kills him!’ he replied, quick off the mark.
I laughed at his persistence as we clambered out of the sumo suits.
Walking through the corridors, the smell of weed got stronger. We explored the final room, which was filled with a hot tub for the daring, several masseuses and a magician doing card tricks.
‘And you’re sure she isn’t?’ James III asked as a masseuse kung-fu chopped his back.
‘Isn’t what?’ I responded as my shoulders were rubbed.
‘I mean, there she is at university. Going to all those parties. Getting drunk. We know what that’s like,’ he said.
‘Yeah, but she’s not like that.’
‘Can you say that one hundred per cent?’
I paused momentarily. ‘Yes,’ I said, but without conviction.
James III smiled.
I looked back at him. ‘No, yes!’ I said with more gusto.
He pretended to be confused. ‘No? Yes? Which one is it?’ James III was the devil in disguise. ‘You sure there’s no one in the background for her?’
Maybe it was the copious amounts of alcohol and lack of food but it was working. He was riling me up. Massage over, we stepped outside into the car park and entered a massive marquee that housed all the catering and a cocktail bar. The mixologist was like Tom Cruise in Cocktail. He was the European champion and had been flown in especially, as had some of the DJs. The theme for the party was Musical Icons, and all the bar staff were dressed up: I could see Blondie, Janet Jackson, Bono and Prince. Even Elvis was manning the barbecue.
‘Well, there is this one guy who gives her lifts to uni,’ I admitted, pouring lots of ketchup on to my chips. ‘Some twat called Simon.’
‘Twat?’ said James III, sensing he’d found my Achilles’ heel. ‘Why so touchy?’
‘I just think he’s after something,’ I said. ‘For a start, he lives outside London but comes back in to pick her up to drive to Manchester.’
‘Really? You mean he goes out of his way to come back and pick her up?’ he said with satisfaction.
Seeing what he was trying to do, I countered, ‘He’s clearly not like you.’
‘Oh, they’re all like us,’ he said pointedly.
‘Us?’ I said defensively.
‘Oh yes, us,’ he laughed.
We joined the girls to exchange gossip, rumour and scandal before going around meeting the ‘family’ from overseas. Every time I passed Max he had a cheeky grin on his face and was dancing or drinking with a different woman.
As I took a break from it all outside by the barbecue, someone walked in that I wasn’t expecting to see. As always, she looked hot.
‘Are you here to do more vox-pops?’ I asked Isabel.
‘Thought I’d surprise you,’ she said.
‘I’m used to speaking to you on text these days. What do we do, hug or fist bump?’ I asked. She smelt amazing as I leant in and put my arms around her. ‘Wow, someone’s made an effort. Here to see Max, are we?’ I joked.
‘Yeah, he invited me but he’s not the reason why I came.’
Am I drunk or is she flirting with me? I wondered. There was definit
ely something there. ‘Oh, I get it, you came to drink from the ice statue.’
‘That’s right, let’s go.’ She grabbed my hand and we did a few shots together while I told her who was who at the party.
I was thoroughly buzzing now. How much more euphoric could I get? Just as we were about to hit the dance floor, in swooped Max from nowhere.
‘Good timing,’ he said, kissing her cheeks. ‘Let’s go and party.’
‘Cool, come on, Jay,’ she said, grabbing my hand.
‘Actually, Isabel, there are some execs I wanted to introduce you to first. I’m sure Jay won’t mind,’ said Max, leading the way.
I knew my place. ‘Yeah, sure. Cool, cool, you go ahead, I’ll catch you later.’
‘Oh no, I promised Jay,’ Isabel said, using her puppy-dog eyes to best effect. ‘I’m sure I can meet them after we’ve danced.’
I wanted to shout out, ‘Ha! Rejected! In your face, Max,’ but held the words in the back of my throat. Instead I just started dancing in the middle of the bar area to the sound of a Mojito being mixed in the background.
‘OK, well come and find me later,’ said Max, not interested in a dance floor threesome.
We headed on over to the main room where Sam was DJing thanks to a hook-up from the Doc. The sea of music-hungry revellers turned to look at the hot girl dancing with the dweeb. I had my hands in the air as I danced to Wookie’s ‘Battle’, absorbing the various shades of purple it was letting off thanks to my inbuilt Technicolor music sensor. Wicked buzz. Wicked, I thought.
I still wasn’t sure if Isabel was interested in me or if she was just teasing. Would a super hot girl like her fancy me? Either way I had to stop this from taking off on so many levels. Max liked her – what if this pissed him off? I had a girlfriend – what if she was doing this with Simon? And to top it off, I had just told James III how I wasn’t like him. I went to my phone and read a saved message from Sophia as we danced.
RV I Love You Much-much LV.
