Joe grabbed his carrier bags and stumbled out of the office. He looked such a shambles James almost felt sorry for him. Keith got up from behind the desk, shaking his head.
‘You know,’ Keith said, as Kelvin helped him into his overcoat, ‘if you two kids stay loyal and work hard, you’re gonna make a lot of money.’
James and Kerry both grinned. The bruises were worth it if they’d earned Keith Moore’s respect.
‘Actually,’ Kerry said, ‘I came along as a favour to James. All your deliveries are done by boys.’
‘I thought girls were soft until I met you,’ Keith said.
‘I can set her up, if you like,’ Kelvin said.
‘These two are really special,’ Keith said, grinning. ‘They’ve got brains and balls. Keep them busy and make sure they’re properly rewarded.’
‘Thanks,’ Kerry said.
‘And James,’ Keith said. ‘If you’re over my house with Junior any time, be sure to stick your snout into my office and say hello.’
Keith left with his minder like he was in a hurry. James looked at Kelvin, who was shaking his head in disbelief.
‘I’m gonna have to treat you two right,’ Kelvin said. ‘With Keith singing your praises, I might just end up calling one of you boss some day.’
19. THIRTEEN
Friday before school, Kerry knocked on the boys’ bedroom door.
‘Are you decent in there?’
‘I’m still in bed,’ James groaned, sounding knackered. ‘Come in if you want.’
He’d been up until nearly midnight having a Playstation competition with Kyle and a couple of Thornton kids. Kerry came through the door with Joshua in her arms and dumped him on James’ bed.
‘He wanted to wish you Happy Birthday,’ she said.
James pulled his duvet over his face. Joshua tugged it back and giggled when James made a loud quacking noise.
‘How come you didn’t scream your head off when Kerry picked you up?’ James asked.
‘I think he’s finally got used to me,’ Kerry smiled. ‘Can I leave him here while I get my books ready for school?’
Kerry went out. Joshua crawled up the bed and burrowed under a loose pillow near James’ face. James moved in to blow a raspberry on Joshua’s arm, but as he got close he recoiled from a powerful smell.
‘Jeeeeeeesus,’ James shouted, covering his nose with his arm. ‘You smelly little …’
James jumped out of bed and picked up Joshua, holding him out at arm’s length. He walked into the hallway, where Kerry and Nicole were wetting themselves laughing.
‘I wondered when you’d smell it,’ Kerry said.
‘You’re evil,’ James grinned. ‘I’ll get you two for this.’
James carried Joshua downstairs to the kitchen. Zara was cooking a pan of sausages.
‘Morning, teenager,’ Zara said. ‘There’s presents and stuff on the table.’
‘This little monster filled his nappy,’ James said.
Zara grinned. ‘You know where the changing table is, James.’
‘Yes, I do, but you’re not getting me anywhere near it.’
‘Think of it as a learning experience,’ Zara said. ‘An introduction to life as a young adult.’
James knew Zara wasn’t serious.
‘Actually,’ he said, ‘a better introduction to young adulthood would be a crate of beer and some hot chicks.’
Zara smiled. ‘I don’t think so, somehow.’
Ewart walked in behind James.
‘You want to be careful,’ Ewart said, taking Joshua out of James’ arms. ‘You start off with the hot chicks and before you know it you’re leaning over a changing table with one of these little beasts peeing on you.’
Ewart tickled his son’s belly before taking him outside for a nappy change.
James sat at the table and started ripping into his cards. Because cherubs never have family, except brothers and sisters, they make a point of exchanging cards, even when they’re away on missions. James had over thirty, including some with foreign postmarks redirected from campus. Gabrielle had sent one from South Africa. James’ old training pals Callum and Connor had posted one from Texas and Amy had sent a postcard with a picture of a giant pineapple on it from Australia. The tackiest-looking card was from Lauren.
‘Here, Zara,’ James laughed. ‘Listen to what Lauren wrote. Dearest brother, you are an idiot. Sometimes you make me puke. I’ll be in training by the time you read this and I wish you were doing it instead of me. PS Happy thirteenth birthday, I love U. Then she’s done a row of kisses.’
James left opening his presents until Kyle and the girls had come down. The biggest box was from Ewart and Zara: a replacement for his stolen trainers. Nicole and Kerry had clubbed together and bought him a T-shirt he’d looked at the last time they went to the Reeve Centre. He got a kiss from each of them when he said thanks. Kyle got him a pack of trendy men’s toiletries. It included shampoo, conditioner and a little bottle of aftershave. The label read, Please use these regularly.
‘This is all cool,’ James grinned. ‘Cheers.’
He put his goodies aside and grabbed a sausage sandwich from the plate in the middle of the table. His mind wandered back a year to his twelfth birthday, just after his mum had died. He’d been living in a council home and wasn’t allowed to see Lauren. It had been about the most desperate day of his life.
Then he thought about other birthdays, back when his mum was alive. Charging down the stairs to stacks of shoplifted toys and clothes, then racing to unwrap everything before school. When Lauren was tiny, she’d had to have a present as well, or she’d chuck a jealous fit.
Thinking back made James feel emotional and his eyes started glazing over. He didn’t want to start bawling in front of everyone, so he scraped back his chair and bolted towards the stairs.
‘Are you OK?’ Zara shouted after him.
‘Busting to pee,’ James lied.
He locked himself in the bathroom. He wasn’t really miserable, it was just that thinking about his mum always made him feel empty. Even though there was loads of interesting stuff going on in his life, James often wished he could go back in time and spend a night in front of the TV with his mum.
After washing his eyes, James stared in the mirror at the same kid who’d been there the night before, only now he was a teenager. It didn’t really make any difference, but it was a buzz all the same.
*
James, Junior, Nicole and April arranged to meet at lunchtime, to bunk off and go to the cinema. They swapped uniform for casual clothes as soon as they got out of the school gate. James had loads of money, so he paid for tickets and popcorn and stuff.
It was a stupid thriller. Nicole started giggling every time this American actor spoke in a fake-sounding London accent. James and Junior started putting two fingers in their mouths and whistling noisily every time this fit actress came into shot.
The only other people in the cinema were a few pensioners. One bloke kept shushing them until Nicole turned back and waved her fist at him.
‘Shut it, you old git.’
The old man toddled off to make a complaint. The cinema manager came in and told them all to behave or else he’d chuck them out. James settled down to the film. He got a shock when he noticed Nicole and Junior had their arms around each other and an even bigger one a minute later when they started snogging.
They were all over each other. Nicole’s leg was up in the air and James kept getting kicked. He got up and moved down two seats so he was sitting on the opposite side of April, away from any flailing limbs.
‘They’re getting on well,’ April grinned.
She grinned for a long time. James watched half a minute of the film and she was still grinning at him. He realised the girls had planned an ambush. Nicole already knew Junior fancied her because he’d asked her out before. James felt like he’d been hooked on a line and reeled in, but he checked April out and realised that as traps go, it wasn’t a bad one.
They stayed that way for a couple of minutes, until April moved away and blew chocolate breath over him.
‘So,’ she whispered. ‘Are you gonna snog me or what?’
James figured what the hell, it’s my birthday. They snogged for ten minutes, breaking up when the movie got near the end and turned into a big car chase and punch-up that was actually worth watching.
Nicole and Junior started messing around. They poured the dregs and melted ice from the Coke into one cup, then spat in chewed-up chocolate and bits of popcorn off the carpet. Nicole held the cup between James and April.
‘Gob in that,’ Nicole said.
James and April obediently spat into the cup.
‘That better not end up anywhere near me,’ James said.
Nicole grinned. ‘Don’t you worry.’
As soon as the titles came up, Nicole and Junior dashed over and caught up with the old man as he doddered up the aisle.
‘Excuse me,’ Nicole said politely.
The old man turned suspiciously.
‘What is it?’
‘I just wanted to apologise for disturbing you,’ Nicole said. ‘I realise it was dreadfully inconsiderate of us.’
The old man smiled. ‘That’s OK, I suppose. Just don’t do it again.’
‘Yeah,’ Junior said. ‘It’s people like you that fought in hundreds of wars so that kids like us could be here today.’
‘We’d like you to have this as a token of our appreciation,’ Nicole giggled.
She chucked the contents of the cup at the old man, who wheezed in shock as the foul liquid drizzled inside his clothes. His jumper had massive stains and bits of popcorn stuck down the front.
‘That’ll teach you to be a grass,’ Nicole shouted.
James looked stunned as Nicole and Junior broke into a run. He and April chased after them, knowing they’d get into trouble if they stuck around. When they got to the foyer, Junior launched himself into a rack of peanuts and snacks, spilling them over the floor. None of the cinema staff earned enough money to bother going after them.
They ran a few hundred metres from the cinema and cut into a side street. James was livid.
‘Are you two retards or something?’ he shouted. ‘What the hell did you do that for?’
‘Who put a bug up your arse?’ Nicole grinned.
Junior was laughing so hard he couldn’t stand up straight.
‘He was an old man,’ James stormed. ‘That was totally out of order. You could have busted his hip or something.’
April didn’t say anything, but she stood beside James, showing she was on his side.
‘I hope he has broken his hip,’ Nicole shouted bitterly. ‘I hope he drops dead.’
‘Nice,’ April said.
‘I can’t stand old people,’ Nicole said bluntly.
‘You’ll be old one day,’ James said.
‘Nah,’ Nicole said. ‘Live fast, die young, that’s my motto.’
‘Where are we going now?’ Junior giggled. ‘Shall we get something to eat? I’m starving.’
Being friends with Junior was part of James’ mission, but sometimes your emotions take over no matter how hard you try.
‘I’m going home,’ James said shortly. ‘I feel like a shower.’
‘You’re not throwing a major strop, are you?’ Junior asked. ‘You’re still coming down the youth club tonight?’
‘Sure,’ James said, half-heartedly. ‘Everyone’s gonna be there.’
‘I’m smuggling some of my dad’s beers in,’ Junior said. ‘Let’s all get totally smashed.’
Junior and Nicole wandered off towards a burger place with their arms around each other. James waited at the bus stop with April. When her bus came, he gave her a quick kiss.
‘I’ll see you at the youth club tonight,’ April said. ‘Don’t let those two idiots spoil your birthday.’
‘I won’t,’ James said.
But he couldn’t help feeling it all the way home. There’s a difference between mucking around and being nasty to someone. The thing with the old man had left a bad taste in his mouth.
20. CELEBRATION
The incident with Crazy Joe was supposed to be kept quiet, but it was the kind of story that travels fast and gets wilder every time it’s told. The story, combined with Keith Moore’s seal of approval, had made James into a well-respected face.
He got a good vibe when he walked into the youth centre alongside Kerry and Dinesh. Waves and smiles came from all directions. He sat at a table with Junior and Nicole, who looked like they’d already downed a few of the beers that were stashed under the table. Junior was in a good mood and James didn’t want to make a big deal about what had happened at the cinema earlier.
‘Beer?’ Junior said, passing a can across the table.
Drinking was banned, but the youth club supervisor always just sat in the corner translating books into German. If there was a punch-up, he’d phone upstairs and get a couple of guys from the boxing club to sort it out; apart from that, you could get away with anything.
‘Cheers,’ James said, cracking the can open.
April pulled up a chair next to James and they kissed. He felt awkward doing it with Kerry sitting a few metres away.
The next couple of hours passed in a blur. Kids came and went. Everyone was taking the mickey out of everyone else and drinking. Kerry and Dinesh only took sips, James and April had a couple of beers, while Nicole and Junior got completely trashed. One time, Nicole got the giggles so badly she fell off her chair.
*
The youth club closed at ten and James thought he’d better have a slash before they headed home. He was in a grand mood as he drifted downstairs to the foul-smelling basement toilets.
‘You forgive me, don’t you?’
James turned around and realised Junior was peeing beside him.
‘For the old man?’ Junior slurred. ‘Nicole’s got a thing about old people. We got carried away.’
‘Course I forgive you,’ James said. ‘Don’t sweat it.’
‘I’ve got something for you,’ Junior said. ‘Come outside.’
They went into the space at the bottom of the stairs between the boys’ and girls’ toilets. Junior pulled a pillbox out of his jeans and popped off the lid. There was a stubby metal straw inside and a thin layer of white powder in the bottom.
‘How long have you been snorting coke for?’ James gasped.
‘Since the cinema.’
‘No wonder you two have been acting like nutters,’ James said. He knew that coke gave you a high, but he’d never realised that it could make you act totally crazy.
‘Give it a whirl,’ Junior said.
James had packets of cocaine in his locker at school and under his bed at home. He’d been tempted a couple of times, but it had never seemed quite this easy: a few centimetres from his face with a mate urging him to test it out.
‘I’m not sure I want to get into that stuff,’ James said.
‘You tart,’ Junior laughed. ‘What harm’s one snort gonna do?’
Nicole came out of the girls’ toilet and looked at James.
‘The birthday boy doesn’t want any,’ Junior giggled.
‘Good,’ Nicole said. ‘More for me.’
She shoved the metal straw up her nostril and vacuumed up half the coke left in the pot. Her head shot backwards and she wiped a tear off her cheek.
‘You’ve got to, James,’ Nicole rasped, sounding like she was pinching her nose.
‘It’s not gonna blow your mind or nothing,’ Junior said. ‘It just makes the world seem like a nicer place.’
‘Except inside your nose,’ Nicole giggled. ‘That goes like a chunk of
rubber.’
James looked into the dish. There was only a tiny bit left and he was curious to try it, just once. Nicole gave him the straw. James pushed it up his nose and leaned towards the white powder.
‘Come on, you guys,’ Kelvin shouted. ‘I’m locking up.’
He was at the top of the stairs. Junior pulled the coke out of sight before James had time to sniff. James spun around, hiding the metal straw in his hand.
‘Give us a second,’ Junior shouted.
‘Now,’ Kelvin shouted. ‘Don’t mess me about.’
The three of them staggered upstairs, through the youth club and on to the pavement out front. The nights were starting to turn cold. Kerry, April and a big bunch of other kids were standing around shivering. James found April.
‘You want to come round to our house?’ James asked. ‘It’s only ten minutes’ walk.’
April shook her head. ‘Kelvin’s giving me, Junior and Dinesh a lift home. I’ll have to smuggle Junior in round the back. If our dad sees him in that state, he’ll go bonkers.’
‘OK,’ James said, leaning forward and giving April a kiss. ‘I’ll speak to you tomorrow. Maybe we can go to the Reeve Centre or something.’
‘Cool,’ April smiled. ‘It looks like you’ve got your own set of problems over there.’
James turned around in time to see Nicole hurl up in the gutter.
*
Kerry went in first and checked the coast was clear. Ewart and Zara had gone up to bed early, which was a relief. James and Kyle dragged Nicole into the kitchen and draped her over a dining chair.
‘I’m gonna die,’ Nicole sobbed, resting her elbows on the dining table. ‘I feel so ill.’
Kerry ran her a glass of water. ‘Drink that,’ she said. ‘Alcohol dehydrates you. The water will stop you getting a hangover.’
James hadn’t drunk anywhere near as much as Nicole, but he decided a drop of water would do no harm and ran a glass for himself.
CHERUB: Class A Page 14
