by Sophia Henry
“Planet Pickle? I have something from this planet as well.” I moved the hand that had been resting on her lap to cup my crotch.
No wonder I had a reputation for being a dick.
But Kristen wasn’t fazed by the crude gesture. In fact, she burst out laughing. “Oh my gosh!” She paused to scrutinize me. “Did you think that would offend me?”
Her reaction made me laugh. Everything she did surprised me. I wasn’t used to a woman who wanted to understand me. The women I knew wanted to know how much money I had in the bank. They wanted to know if I would get them into elite parties and exclusive nightclubs. Kristen was challenging, smart, and compassionate.
“I should be offended by your lie,” I countered.
She ran a hand through my hair again. This time her fingers lingered, tracing lazy circles on my neck. “I should get to bed,” she said, but she didn’t stop her soothing strokes. “Will you walk me back to my room?”
Reluctantly I nodded and stood up. After helping her get up from the lounge chair, I offered her my arm.
Perspiration dotted my forehead as we strolled silently through the thick, humid air. We moved together, our bodies in sync and our arms intertwined.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Kristen. Her tanned skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. She had the cutest, most perfect nose and gorgeous cheekbones. And those lips, full and pink and slightly parted as if ready to—Fuck! I didn’t want to think that way about her. And yet I couldn’t help it, because she affected me so strongly.
She turned to face me and caught me checking her out. I smiled. No reason to pretend I hadn’t been staring when I’d been busted in the act. She blushed and cast her eyes toward the floor.
I knew she was smiling. I could tell from the way the skin creased around her eyes.
I’d been so enthralled with Kristen that I didn’t take a moment to check the path in front of us—and I slammed into a wall.
“Fuck!” Tears sprung to my eyes involuntarily as pain shot through my face. I brought both hands to my nose, which had taken the brunt of the hit.
“Oh, shit!” Kristen exclaimed, though I heard her laugh. “Are you okay?” She reached out and touched my cheek.
I caught her hand before she could connect. “You laugh at me and then have the nerve to try to be nice?”
“I—” she began.
But I wasn’t angry; I just wanted to tease her. She tried to hide her wicked side, but I’d caught her laughing at my absentmindedness. Which made me respect her even more. Who wouldn’t crack up if their friend walked into a wall? It’s the kind of stuff that makes people YouTube sensations.
I winked at her before taking her in my arms and spinning her around to press her back against the wall I’d just banged into. She gasped, a mix of excitement and surprise. Then I set a soft, sweet kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes and fell into my arms, sinking into my chest, like butter melting across my babushka’s freshly baked black bread.
“Would you like to hang out with me in Barbados tomorrow?” I asked, standing so still I could feel her heart beat against my stomach.
“I’d love to,” she said without pulling out of my arms.
I placed a kiss on top of her head, inhaling the floral scent of her hair products. Then I took her hand again and walked her to her room.
Though Kristen seemed confident and carefree, I’d sensed a sadness in her. And I decided to make it my mission to figure out why, and try to fix it or at least make her feel as safe and strong as I could in the days we had together.
She’d need it for when she found out the truth.
Chapter 8
DAY 2
BARBADOS
“We dock in paradise today. Have you rethought the fake boyfriend thing?” Lena asked as she shut the door behind her. Instead of sitting in the chair, she leaned her hip against the desk. “Sia and I will help you ditch Spiros. Then we can lie on the beach, go shopping, and enjoy this beautiful island together.”
We’d just finished a quick breakfast and were collecting our things before we left the ship for a full day in Barbados, the first stop on the cruise.
“I’m excited to hang out with Pasha. I can’t wait to get my lips on him again.”
“Again?” she asked, straightening.
Damn, I’d meant to keep that part to myself. To avoid her eyes, I dug around in my suitcase for today’s swimsuit.
“You’ve already kissed him?” she pressed.
“I had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep.” I glanced at her quickly. “I went to the pool deck to lie under the stars and he showed up.”
“He could be a serial killer.”
There was the pessimism I’d expected, which was why I hadn’t planned on telling her about my surreal meet-up with Pasha last night.
“You need to stop watching the true crime channel,” I said, tucking a section of hair behind my ear.
“Someone has to be realistic.”
“That’s not realistic. That’s paranoid.”
“I’m just saying that you shouldn’t be alone with him,” Lena continued. “Not until you get to know him better. It’s called being smart.”
She had a good point. “You’re right,” I agreed, softening my gruff tone. “But I never expected to be alone with him last night. I didn’t know he’d be there. Sorry.”
“I’m not trying to sound like your mom or anything. I just wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” Lena stopped and her face seemed to pale as she thought. “Every once in a while I still come across an article about that girl who disappeared from a cruise ship. Everyone knows the Dutch guy did it, but there’s not enough evidence and they never found her body. It’s just so—”
“You’re right,” I said again, interrupting her before she had a panic attack. Hell, I was about to have one just thinking about that horrible case from over ten years ago. “Next time I can’t sleep, I’ll wake you up. I must’ve been temporarily blinded by the moonlight bouncing off his pecs.”
Lena was fun to hang out with, but I knew she had anxiety issues. It made me see her cautiousness in a different light, and I appreciated that she’d called me out for being stupid.
I’d let my guard down last night, fascinated by Pasha’s unexpected vulnerability. The multiple sides I’d seen of him in two days intrigued me. That coupled with the fact that he wanted to be my fake boyfriend for a week seemed like a scary combination. Hiding the realities of my life from him for a week wouldn’t be easy if we continued on the intense path we’d set last night.
“Why don’t we all hang out together?” I grabbed my oversized beach bag from the back of a chair and moved around the room looking for everything I’d need for an entire day.
“Really?”
“We just made plans to explore the island. His friend Blake is coming. You guys should, too. Safety in numbers, right?” I tossed a makeup pouch and a bottle of digestive enzymes into the bag. “Are my sunglasses behind you?”
Lena twisted around, searching the desk. “Why do you want to spend all your time with him? I mean, I get it when Spiros is around, but otherwise, it’s kinda weird.” She handed me my sunglasses, and I fixed them on top of my head.
“He’s fun. And I don’t know—I really like him.”
“But it’s only for a few days.”
“Maybe that’s why I like hanging out with him. I’ll never see him after this week. Guys like Pasha aren’t commitment people anyway. I’m the perfect girl and this is the perfect scenario.”
“What does that mean?”
I tossed my beach bag on the bed, slightly annoyed that I had to explain this to my own cousin, someone who’d seen me at my worst—many, many times. “No reason to fool some guy into a commitment with me when I’m just gonna die halfway into our life together. It’s not like I can ever have anything long-term. Why mess up someone’s life?”
Lena fell silent. And, not for the first time, I wished my best friend were on the cruise.
Auden wouldn’
t let me get away with any self-loathing bullshit. Not that I complained often, but between last night’s nightmare and my cousin grilling me about my love life, I couldn’t keep the anger of knowing I’d never have a happily-ever-after at bay.
You can’t promise someone forever when you don’t have forever to give.
“I thought you were the optimist of the group.” Lena rose from the desk and put her hand on the doorknob. “I’m going to go get my stuff ready and grab Sia. Can we still join you guys?”
“Of course.”
After Lena closed the door behind her, I paused my packing.
I knew I should apologize.
I knew I should, but I wouldn’t. I didn’t understand why finding someone I liked to hang out with on the cruise had her panties in such a twist. Why go on a singles cruise if you didn’t want to find someone to hang out with? Wasn’t that the point?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before picking up my beach bag again and refocusing on the task at hand. Because of my health issues, I always made sure to have my medicines and enzymes available when I needed them. I’d rather bring anything I might need because I wanted to enjoy Barbados for the short amount of time we’d be here. Thank goodness for a huge beach bag.
Chapter 9
DAY 2
BARBADOS
“What do you like to do?” I asked Kristen as we walked hand in hand toward the paradise of Barbados.
Instead of answering, she leaned into me and laughed like whatever I’d said could’ve been used in an audition for Comedy Club, a TV show we have back in Russia. I played along with it, because I figured Spiros must be lurking around, and I wanted to get that guy off her back—without introducing him to my fists, which were itching to meet his face.
Kristen brought out all these primal, instinctual urges in me. But there was only one primal urge on my mind at the moment, and it had nothing to do with Spiros.
“Adventure,” she finally answered. “The more life-threatening the better. But not like drugs. I don’t do drugs.”
“You are a funny girl.”
Kristen’s body stiffened. She didn’t stop walking, but something was obviously bothering her. “Do you take drugs?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She stopped abruptly, which caused Spiros to run into us. Various ways to get rid of Kristen’s tail raced through my head. One quick, firm punch to the nose would probably take care of it. He didn’t seem intimidating.
“Medicine when I am sick,” I explained to ease her mind, since she was looking at me like I was a crackhead.
“Okay.” A nervous laugh escaped her lips. “Well, if we’re talking about medicines. I take a ton. I’ve probably got you beat.”
“I raise you vodka. Lots of vodka.” I winked.
“Another thing we have in common.”
I squeezed her hand and pulled her forward. “We’ll find life-threatening, non-drug fun. Then we drink!”
“You only live once,” she murmured. Then she called back to her friends, “Come on, girls. Pasha will lead us to the fun.”
When I led our group directly to the nearest bar, she said, “I thought we were drinking after the adventure.”
“I need to talk to someone before I find the adventure.”
Once inside, I found an empty table and pulled out a chair for Kristen. Then I kissed the top of her head and made my way to the bar.
In my extensive world travel, I’ve learned that the best way to find the coolest places is to ask the locals. I slid between two barstools and asked the bartender if there was an area to go cliff diving. Kristen had asked for adventure, so I would deliver.
He rubbed the bar with a dingy towel, shaking his head in response to my question. Guess finding a place would be more difficult than I thought.
“Can I get three mimosas delivered to that table, please?” I turned around and pointed to the table Kristen and her friends occupied. The bartender nodded and I handed him my credit card.
I glanced at Kristen’s friends, whom she’d introduced earlier as Lena and Sia. They didn’t seem put off by stopping here first.
I surveyed the crowd before I chose whom else to approach.
The thin, elderly black man sweeping under a table near the restrooms didn’t scream excitement, but most of the people in the bar were tourists from cruise ships, so I didn’t have much of a choice.
“Why would you want to jump off a cliff?” the skinny man asked after I stated my request.
“Fun,” I replied.
The man snorted and shook his head. “There are better ways to die.”
My shoulders inched toward my ears and my hands tightened into fists for the second time that morning. I pressed my lips together to stop myself from spewing a disrespectful response at the stranger. His words were so insignificant, yet so grating.
“And there are much worse,” I snapped at the old man’s attempt to share years of experience with a new generation of wild youth.
The man scowled and backed away, muttering something in French. Though I know enough to get by in a few languages, my French was slim, so I couldn’t even venture an educated guess at what he’d said.
Thankfully, just as I turned away from him, a waitress tapped my shoulder and told me the bartender had sent her my way. She gave me the name of a hidden gem—a cliff that many tourists didn’t know about. I thanked her by slipping her money before I made my way back to the table. When I walked up, Kristen was explaining what I’d been doing.
“He’s trying to find a place to go cliff diving,” she said.
“Cliff diving? Are you joking?” Sia’s fingers tightened around her champagne flute.
I’d have bet a mouse had more adventure in its tail than she had in her entire body.
“You don’t have to dive. You can watch. Or sunbathe,” Kristen suggested.
“Get it on video?” I offered.
“Fifty bucks you won’t even do it,” Sia mumbled.
“Challenge accepted.” Kristen held out her hand and waited for her friend to shake it.
Instead of comment on how fucking awesome my girl was, I nodded to their glasses and said, “Drink up. Adventure awaits.”
—
Do not admit your fear, Kristen Katsaros. Fake it until you make it. It’s not as bad as it seems.
Oh my freakin’ goodness. I cannot jump into that water.
An involuntary shiver racked my limbs and adrenaline buzzed through my body, sending a tingle to every inch of skin, as I peered over the cliff into the gorgeous green water. It looked inviting and terrifying at the same time.
Maybe I’d talked too big a game when I told Pasha I was up for adventure, the scarier the better. In my boasting, I’d forgotten to mention that I have a massive fear of water. In fact, it had taken my parents more than fifteen years to get me on a cruise in the first place. Even the lure of Mickey and Minnie and all the princesses in the universe couldn’t get my seven-year-old ass onto a boat in the middle of the ocean when they’d tried to plan a Disney cruise.
But that was well before I realized I had a shorter life span than most of my peers. Before I started agreeing to anything, because—why not? I wasn’t sick all the time. I wasn’t bedridden. Nothing should keep me from experiencing everything life had to offer.
And I wasn’t about to admit my fear when a hot guy I might have been trying to impress asked me to go cliff diving. I’d just close my eyes and hope for the best.
I unbuttoned my shorts and lowered the zipper before shaking my hips and pulling them down my thighs. Then I twisted around and tossed the bottoms over my shoulder and onto my bag, which lay at Lena’s feet.
“Wow!” Pasha exclaimed.
“Are you scared?” I asked, daring to peek over the cliff again. He couldn’t back out. If he backed out, I’d back out.
“No. I watched you take your pants off.”
“Funny.” I slapped his shoulder lightly, which made him smile.
Pasha said what
he thought out loud for everyone to hear.
And that smile. That simple upward turn of his pink lips, sheepish and cocky at the same time, caused a flutter in my heart. It made me want to jump him, right here and now.
I’d never had a boyfriend for longer than a month since the relationship disaster that ended an overall awesome high school career. A weeklong boyfriend was the perfect relationship for me. So why was I paying him so much attention and allowing emotions to get involved? I noticed more than I should for such a short time.
My foot shook as I took a tentative step toward the edge.
Pasha grabbed my hand. “Together?”
It didn’t work when I closed my eyes tight in an attempt to will the shiver away. My heart punched and kicked against my chest, trying its damnedest to let me know this was not a good idea.
Pasha dropped my hand and placed both of his on my face. I opened my eyes and stared into his brown ones. “Listen. We’ll jump together. Don’t let go until we hit the water, okay?”
I nodded. He released my face and turned toward the water. Then he lifted his palm up and I took it.
“You guys ready?” Lena asked.
I turned my head and caught a glance of her standing next to Sia, who had her phone raised, waiting for us to jump so she could videotape the madness.
“Adin, dva—” Pasha said.
I tapped his hip with our joined hands. “Wait! What?”
“I’m counting to three.”
“Speak English!” My voice shook. My heart jumped.
Pasha put his forehead on mine and met my gaze. “We’ll do this together. We’ll be fine.”
I nodded and relaxed a little. Pasha pressed a quick kiss on my forehead before turning back to the water.
“On three. Ready?”
“Yep,” I lied.
“One, two—three!”
We bent our knees and flung ourselves off the cliff, with our hands locked together. I screamed. My stomach dropped like it did during the descent from the peak of a roller coaster.
We slammed into the water like human bar of soap falling into a bath. The impact tore my hand from Pasha’s. Instead of freaking out, I let the weight of my body take me down before getting my bearings and swimming to the surface.
