JULIA leaned her head against the cool window of the airplane, looking out over the clouds. Her ears rang with a high-pitched squeal, making her head feel like it was going to explode. This had been going on for at least ten minutes when the flight attendant made her way over.
“Ma’am?” The woman, whose brass nametag identified her as Robyn, lightly tapped Julia’s shoulder. “Can I get you something? Are you all right?”
Julia heard the woman clearly, but she was hearing other voices threaded through the background. She smiled up at Robyn. “I’m fine, thank you. Just tired.”
Maria’s words echoed through Julia’s mind.
If I pay attention, I can hear them.
She focused, and was not terribly surprised when she recognized Michael’s voice. She could only catch snippets of the conversation, though, as there were many other voices flowing along the same stream. She felt like she was trying to tune in to a radio station, and had found five of them, all using the same signal.
“…full potential…” she heard Michael say, and “…putting her talents to better use.” She instinctively knew he was talking about her, so she tried harder to tune it in. Thinking of it that way made her smile. She had her own radio station. Angel FM.
“Soon.” Michael’s voice again.
“Soon,” she repeated out loud, pondering what that might mean.
Robyn spun back around.
“Sorry, Robyn. I was just thinking out loud. I’ll be home soon.” She gave the woman a reassuring smile and watched her walk away.
I need to be more careful. I need to contain my inside voice.
She could no longer make out Michael’s voice amid the stream of voices. She thought about asking him what he was talking about, but thought better of it. If I can hear them without them finding out, maybe I will finally get the answers to some of my questions.
She closed her eyes for the remainder of the flight, falling into the deep sleep of exhaustion. She didn’t even stir when Robyn came back and set a pillow between her head and the window.
Julia was startled awake by the announcement that they were about to arrive in D.C. She was no longer in tune with the angels. She put her shoes back on and watched the other passengers busy themselves getting ready to land. When the wheels touched down, she read relief on many of the faces, and wondered how many people were secretly afraid of flying.
As soon as the seatbelt sign winked out, she stood, straightened out her clothes, and retrieved her bag from the overhead compartment. The man across the aisle was fighting to pull his overstuffed bag out, and bumped into her when it finally let go.
“Sorry,” he said. He flashed a slick, used-car-salesman smile. “I always pack too much.”
“No problem,” Julia answered, and returned his smile, though hers was awkward. “You can never have too many shoes, right?”
The man threw his head back and let out a forced laugh. He reached his hand forward, offering to shake.
“I’m James Johnson. Everyone calls me JJ.”
“Nice to meet you.” Julia reached out to shake his hand politely, deciding against sharing her name with him. The moment his hand touched hers, Julia felt every muscle in her body tense with revulsion. Bile rose in the back of her throat. She snatched her hand from him and took a step away as the line began to move. She knew that if she tried to see his essence, it would look much the same as Lori’s had only hours before. She checked back over her shoulder with each step, feeling his eyes on her the whole time.
As the crowd moved forward, JJ was still trying to get his bags together, wrestling to get his coat slung over his shoulder. Julia was happy to watch the distance grow between them. As she stepped off the plane, she checked back one more time and saw that he was still staring at her, and it made her skin crawl.
She hurried through the airport toward the parking garage, darting in and out of the crowd, grateful she had no baggage to claim. She found her car, climbed in quickly, and sped out of the underground lot and onto the highway. Julia kept a close eye on the rear-view mirror all the way out. She thought it was strange how strong her revulsion had been, even though his actions were completely normal. Polite, even.
“Instinct.” Michael’s voice startled her again. “Listen to your instincts. If they tell you to flee, then you must flee. It seems you’re getting better at listening to them. This is a good thing.”
“I did flee, Michael,” Julia said, catching her breath. “And can’t you give me a little warning before you just pop up like that?” She tried to sound irritated, but the truth was, she was relieved he was there. She could hear it in her own voice.
“You knew I was here, girl.” Michael reached forward and turned on the radio, scanning from station to station before settling on a blues station. “Ah. Now that’s music.”
Robert Johnson’s “Crossroads” came through the speakers. Julia snickered. “Robert Johnson sang about a lot of things you might know about, Michael.”
“It always makes music more powerful when the artist is speaking from personal experience,” Michael said.
Julia whipped her head toward him. “Seriously?” “Watch the road, girl.”
Judging by the slightly turned-up corner of his mouth, he must have been joking. Julia shook her head and sighed. She wasn’t sure how to continue. She had so many questions, and Michael always seemed to avoid answering them. “Michael…”
“It is a rare moment that I can enjoy a song.”
Julia glanced at Michael, who was sitting in the passenger seat, leaning back with his eyes closed. His foot tapped out the rhythm to the song. She decided to let her questions go unanswered.
She got lost in her own thoughts, planning the things she needed to do in the morning. She hadn’t talked to Mrs. Williams—Isabel—for a few days. A fact she felt very guilty about, since she had told her she would check in and let her know how things went with Maria. Julia also needed to call the restaurant and see how things were going there. Sandra was shaken up about the murders, so she had sworn off interviewing, stating that she didn’t really need to go see her family in Britain after all. Julia would have to do it herself when the time came. Not that she planned to hire anyone any time soon. She would take the shifts herself, and gladly.
Actually, working in the restaurant was one of the things she enjoyed most about her life. Each of the tables held meaning for her, every item on the menu. There was something grounding about standing in the middle of the dining room when all the tables were set perfectly and the soft jazz flowed through the air. There was something equally satisfying when the restaurant was filled and bustling with activity, the clanging plates and pans coming from the kitchen and the buzz of conversation at each table filling the air. It gave her a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
When Julia finally got home, Michael had long since faded out. She put her small suitcase in her room and stretched out on the couch, wiggling her toes to get the circulation back.
“Maybe Michael is right about the shoes,” she groaned.
She hit the power on her TV remote and the eleven o’clock news came on the screen. Julia hated watching the news. It gave her such a heavy heart. The anchorperson was talking about a woman who had gone missing from Dulles Airport. Julia turned up the volume and listened with increasing alarm as it was revealed that the missing woman had been on the same flight as Julia.
“She was last seen here, on the airport security camera, leaving the baggage claim area. If you have any information relating to the whereabouts of this woman, please call…”
Julia stopped hearing the newscast when she saw the man following the woman out the door of the baggage claim area. It was the man she had spoken with earlier, JJ. One hand slapped over her mouth as the bottom dropped out of her stomach. She had to pry her fingers away from her lips to reach for the phone and dial the number on the screen, but stopped short.
“Damn it!” She tossed the phone onto her coffee table. “What would I say?”
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She knew she couldn’t call the police and just tell them some guy talked to her on the plane and gave her a bad feeling. She’d sound like an idiot! She listened to the news anchor continue the story, announcing that the woman was the third similar disappearance in so many days. Julia stood. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she felt she had to do something.
“You must not interfere, girl.”
Julia spun to face Michael. “Why not?”
“You live in a human world,” Michael said, “and must, for the time being, do things the way that humans do. If you feel the need to interfere, you must call the police and deal with the matter as a human would.”
“They’ll think I’m nuts!”
Michael only nodded and folded his arms.
A typhoon of anger built up inside her and she clenched her fists tightly to keep from tearing her townhouse apart. She lifted her chin and spoke through her ceiling to the sky, where she was certain Gabriel would hear.
“Damn you for making me into…this!” She fixed her glare on Michael. “And damn you for not letting me be who I really am!”
“Now you begin to understand,” Michael said softly, “what it is to be one of us. Always seeing, and rarely able to interfere.”
“That woman will die—or worse—because I did nothing.” Julia sank to the couch and leaned forward, burying her face in her hands. She pressed her face tightly with her palms, as though that would keep her head from exploding.
“Choice has always been as much a curse as it is a blessing, girl,” Michael said. He moved to sit beside her, and though she wanted to stay angry with him, his presence calmed her. “You have choices now. You may call the police and report what you know.”
“I can’t do that without telling them what I sensed,” Julia muttered through her hands. She eased the grip on her face, then straightened and faced Michael. “Can’t you do something?”
In the flicker of less than a second, Julia was certain she saw regret in Michael’s eyes, but he hardened them and shook his head.
“It is a hard lesson, but we must allow the natural course of events to play out.”
“It’s hard sometimes,” Gabriel said with a heavy voice.
“What is?” Michael answered, his brow furrowed.
“To stand by and let them harm each other.”
“It is the way it has always been, Brother.” Michael’s strong voice was contradicted by his sad eyes. “We don’t always stand by, either.”
Gabriel nodded, his attention divided between Michael beside him and Julia below. She sat in her living room, watching news updates into the early hours of the morning.
“I know,” Gabriel agreed. “Sometimes our children become their champions.”
“Would it help you if I listed them, and gave you the numbers they saved?” Michael rested one hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “Gandhi alone…”
“I know, Michael, but I am concerned. How well are we maintaining balance? Are we giving them enough miracles to level out the inherent evil that stirs within them?”
“In the end, Gabriel, we do all we can within our limits. If she can be what she is supposed to be, the balance will be restored.” Michael let out a long breath and waved a hand, revealing another scene below. “We don’t always have to sit idly by, either.”
Gabriel watched in silence as the man, JJ, traced the tip of his blade along the skin of the young woman he had abducted from the airport. Her eyes were wide with terror, her hair matted to her forehead, slick with sweat. The duct tape placed firmly over her lips quivered with her attempts to scream. Her arms were stretched out above her. They looked like they might pop free from their sockets, and her hands were purple. The ropes around her wrists had cut off her circulation hours ago.
Michael entered the scene, stepping into the woman’s body. The ropes fell from her wrists and ankles, and the tape fell away from her mouth. Her mouth worked as Michael’s voice poured out from it.
“You chose the wrong flight today.” The pitch of his voice was so powerful that JJ’s eardrums burst. He clutched at his now-useless ears, shrieked, and fell to the floor.
Wearing the woman’s body, Michael stepped over the floundering man as the blood pooled on each side of JJ’s head, then he walked out the door. He picked a blanket off the couch in the next room and wrapped it around the shoulders of the woman, then made his way out the door. He walked her up the street and hailed the first taxi he saw.
“Where to, lady?” the cabby said without looking behind him.
“Police station, quickly.” This time, Michael used her voice.
When he slid out of her shell, she collapsed in the seat. She would arrive at the police station unconscious.
“I think that balanced out nicely, don’t you, Brother?”
Gabriel’s gaze was dark, but he couldn’t hide the curl of his lips into the slightest hint of a smile.
XXVI
AFTER a long night pacing the floor, Julia curled up and slept for a few hours. The first thing she did upon waking was check the news for updates.
She listened intently as a breathless reporter detailed the heroic woman’s escape and unconscious arrival at the police station. The reporter described in detail the way the body of James Johnson, a local realtor, was found in his home when the neighbor’s dog dragged its owner to the door during their morning walk.
Throughout the interview, the traumatized neighbor kept repeating, “He was so quiet. He seemed so normal.”
The victim was said to be recovering in the hospital and was not available for comment.
Dammit. Julia felt like the rope in a tug of war between two rock giants. Every time she thought of something she loved about her life, or about people in general, she saw something that made her loathe humanity and its incessant need to harm one another, to hate one another. If only she could figure out how to use her so-called powers to stop them. If only there was a way to do that without landing herself in a room beside Maria.
Julia switched off the television and sat back, still staring at the screen. “I think it’s a good time to get away,” she said out loud, her voice echoing in the empty apartment. “And I know just the place.”
The car glided soundlessly over the newly paved driveway. A perfectly manicured lawn, sprinkled with wildflowers, surrounded a cottage built with rounded stones. It had a steeply sloping, clay-tiled roof and quaint blue shutters on the windows. A cobblestone path led from the driveway to the steps of the veranda, which wrapped around the whole house. There was a front porch swing to the right of the door.
Julia’s eyes welled with tears as she remembered telling Alex almost six months before what her ideal front porch would be like. She could see the lake in the back around the side of the cottage, a wooden dock jutting into the water at the bottom of a small hill. The far side of the lawn was edged with trees. It was everything she had ever wanted.
Anger boiled through her veins. She should have shared this moment with Alex and she should have spent time with him sitting on the porch swing. She wanted time with him sipping sweet tea in the shade on a hot summer day, watching him sleep at night, mesmerized by the rise and fall of his chest, secretly adoring his peaceful features, and strolling along the lake hand in hand, only letting go to skip stones along the surface. The anger ebbed, giving way to sadness and loss. She wished she had some memories of him here that she could revisit.
She stepped up to the door and inserted the key into the lock. It turned smoothly and the door opened to a beautiful entryway. The flawless oak flooring was enhanced by the antique entryway table, which had delicately carved legs, curling at the bottom to meet the floor. Sitting on top of it was an envelope, propped up against a small box.
On the front, in Alex’s handwriting, was her name. With a trembling hand, Julia picked up the envelope and turned it over. She wasn’t sure why she lifted it to her nose and inhaled until she let out a disappointed breath when she realized it didn’t smell like hi
m.
“Well, I suppose not,” she said, wiping her eyes. “It’s been almost three weeks since he died, and who knows how long before that when he wrote this.”
She looked at her reflection in the beveled mirror that hung over the table, saw the dark circles under her eyes and thought, not for the first time that week, that she needed to start sleeping more, and chasing old ghosts and angels less. She let her eyes drift back down to the envelope in her hand and carefully opened it. She pulled the letter out, took a deep breath, and began to read.
My dearest Julia,
I know you feel very alone right now that I’m gone, and are questioning everything.
I want you to know that the time I had with you was more wonderful than I could have hoped. I was able to see your true heart—something you don’t share easily. I was able to watch you heal and recover. Most especially, I was able to be for you the one thing you needed the most. Your family.
My passing doesn’t change this, Julia. My family is your family. My mother fell in love with you the first day she laid eyes on you. You were the daughter she always wanted and never had—until now. Don’t forget her and don’t run from her. She will never let you down, and she will help you overcome whatever you must in whatever way she can. She loves you like a daughter.
I am not sure you will ever understand that I did what needed to be done. That I knew the score all along and that I was at peace with it.
I love you, Julia. Always have. Always will.
Alex
Not for the first time since she had watched Alex’s lifeless body slump to the ground, Julia wept. She threw her head back and howled. Her grief felt as though it were seeping into her marrow and cracking her open from the inside out. She fell to her knees, her shoulders slumped forward as sobs wracked her.
“Oh, Alex, how can I live with what happened?” Julia said to the paper in her hand. “How did you know? Why didn’t you tell me?”
She held the letter away from her face so it wouldn’t get tearstained.
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