by Len Webster
“I’m not going to lie; it was hard at first. But he made a mistake. I was young once, too, and I’m not gonna pretend I was perfect. Plus, I didn’t want to say something that might have distracted him while he was driving. He’s got the most important thing in my life as his passenger. At the end of the day, I still trust him to take care of you. I might not trust him to love you right, but I trust him with your life and safety … not so much with my daughter’s heart.”
A small laugh slipped from her lips. Evan had said he loved her. That every time he said, “eight protons and eight neutrons,” he was telling her he loved her, but she didn’t believe him. She was too afraid to believe him. But she couldn’t tell her parents the confessions they both made. She didn’t want anyone to get their hopes up.
Right now, she and Evan were at a good spot in their delicate relationship.
She finally felt comfortable around him and with him.
And she couldn’t ruin that.
They would find a moment to talk.
A moment to figure out where they stood or where they break.
“I appreciate that, Dad. Hey, I’m sorry we’re not going to be home tonight.”
“Don’t even apologize, my love. I just want you to be safe. And if that means you won’t be home so you can wait out this storm, I don’t mind. I want you to be safe. Just let me know when you leave Watch Hill.”
While she had her father on the phone, she decided to ask him the one question she had been too afraid to ask since she accepted Duke’s offer. “Dad?”
“Yes?”
“Now that I’m at Duke, I have to ask. Are you disappointed that I didn’t choose Harvard or Yale? Or any of the Ivy League schools I got acceptance letters to?”
Her father was silent.
All she heard was his soft breathing, and that had her heart spiking with anxiousness.
The idea of disappointing her father again would make her sick. Her father had endured so much because of her. She couldn’t stomach the idea that she had let him down once again.
“Alexandra, may I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” she said, sitting up.
“Are you truly happy at Duke?”
She licked her lips and peeked over at the bathroom door once more. “I am happy at Duke, Dad. I love North Carolina. I didn’t think I would, but the idea of never meeting Savannah kills me inside. I think if I had gone to Harvard or Yale … or any of the Ivies, I don’t think I’d be on the path to finding out who I am. At Duke, I’m not Little Miss Red Sox. I’m just Alex, a physics major. I’m just another freshman. If I had gone to Harvard, I wouldn’t have been taken seriously.”
“Then I’m not disappointed in you for not choosing any of the Ivy schools. When everything with you and Evan went down, and you told me you didn’t want to go to Stanford, I was afraid you’d remain in Massachusetts. I wanted you to go out of state to discover yourself. I’m proud of you for choosing yourself and Duke. So, no, Alexandra, I’m not disappointed. I’m unbelievably proud to be your father and to have you as my daughter.”
A tear spilled down her cheek, and AJ reached up and brushed it away. “Thank you, Dad. You have no idea what that means to me. I felt like I let you down. That you couldn’t talk about me to your clients and your co-workers or even your boss. Duke isn’t as impressive as Harvard or Yale.”
“Alexandra,” he said, his voice softening even more. “Trust me, you as a person and what you’ve achieved and will achieve are far more impressive than a college. I still remember the little girl who held my hand as I walked through the Smithsonian with her eyes wide in wonder. I’m proud of how that little girl turned out to be the most incredible daughter known to any.”
“Incredible? Dad, I’ve done some stupid things.”
“And you’ll do even greater things,” her father said as the bathroom door opened, alerting her that Evan had finished his shower.
“Thank you, Dad. I gotta go. Evan and I are gonna head down to the hotel’s restaurant for dinner. Tell Mum I won’t find a favorite chef to replace her here in Rhode Island. I love you both.”
Her father laughed. “I’ll be sure to assure her. Call me in the morning. We love you, too.”
Smiling, AJ hung up the phone and got off the bed. “Ready to go eat?”
“Yeah,” Evan said with a smile on his face and walked around the bed to collect his phone and wallet. “Let’s go.”
“God, the food here is amazing,” AJ said as Evan opened their hotel room door and let her enter first.
Evan chuckled as she made her way to the bed and slipped off her boots and sat down on it. The stuffed chicken and roast vegetables were amazing. The sauce was a little too sweet for the chicken, but it was the best meal she’d had in months. But her mother’s pride wouldn’t falter as the food didn’t compete with Clara Parker’s.
“So it beats college food.”
“I agree with you there,” Evan said as he sat down on the bed next to her.
“I can’t believe how quiet this hotel is. I swear I didn’t see a guest anywhere when we took the long way back after dinner.”
“I think the storm’s the reason for that. I don’t think anyone is going to brave it to come here for the weekend,” Evan said.
AJ pushed herself off the bed to face him. “What do you feel like doing? It’s only seven.”
“We could watch a movie,” Evan suggested.
She scrunched her nose up at him. “We’ve done that a million times.”
He nodded in agreement as he mulled it over. Then his face lit up as he got off the bed and dashed across the room to his bag. He unzipped it and raked through it until he pulled out two bottles of champagne.
Laughing, AJ asked, “Where did you get an extra bottle? I thought the honeymoon suite in Virginia had one complimentary bottle.”
“I have my ways. So we’ve never drunk together. How about we fix that?”
She took in the two champagne bottles and then raised her brow at Evan. “I definitely know I’m a lightweight. I’ve never drunk anything more than a glass.”
“Because you’ve been careful for my brother,” Evan said as he walked over to the cabinet that had the glasses on it. He set the bottles down and flipped a glass upright. Then he grasped one of the bottles by the neck, turned away from her, and popped it open. He poured a glass and then handed it to her. “But it’s just you and me tonight, Alexandra. You can be as bad or as a good as you want. So long as it’s what you want. You’re safe with me. Are you in?”
She took in Evan’s hard expression.
Unable to tear her eyes away, she reached up and took the glass from him and whispered, “Only if you are.”
His lips pressed into a smile as he grasped the champagne bottle. “Always my intention to be when it comes to you.”
Bringing the glass to her lips, she sipped back the champagne as Evan took a swig from the bottle. Three sentences ran loops in her head as she lowered the glass but kept her gaze on Evan.
I can be bad.
I can be good.
As long as it’s what I want.
And I want it.
43 Tc
technetium
AJ
Senior year of high school
Two questions had been continuously asked throughout the morning. They were if she had received any college acceptance letters and if she had been asked to the senior prom. She had two very opposite answers to the two very opposite questions.
Yes, AJ had received five college acceptance letters.
No, she had not been asked to the prom.
In fact, she did not care at all for prom.
It was two weeks away, and frankly, she had no expectations after homecoming last year—when no one had wanted to take her to the dance.
Her only care at that mome
nt was hearing if she had gotten into any of the other colleges she had applied to. Yesterday, she had received offers from Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, Princeton, and Columbia. The only colleges she was now waiting for were Stanford, NYU, and Duke. When she called her parents to let them know she had gotten accepted to five Ivy League schools, her mother had burst into tears, and her father had cooed how proud of her he was.
After they watched the video of her and Evan’s reactions to their letters, they wanted to abandon the benefit and celebrate with them, but she had told them to stay since the benefit was for her father’s job. They’d celebrate once they had heard back from the rest of the colleges she and Evan had applied to. They couldn’t really celebrate since they still had the article and lawsuit looming over their heads. They still had the matter of the two-million-dollar settlement to discuss, and AJ couldn’t fathom having the money. Tonight, once she got home from school, she’d ask her parents if they were in the financial position to donate the money instead.
“So, Alex,” Brandi from her physics class said next to her, causing AJ to turn away from Mr. Miller explaining the application of Newton’s law of attraction. “Did you get any letters yesterday?”
AJ smiled and nodded. “I did. Did you?”
“I feel like I’m being ignored,” Mr. Miller announced. “All right. There’s a big elephant in the room that I can’t ignore because I want to hear about them, too. We’ll put a pause on today’s class and get back to it in a moment. Discuss your college acceptance letters. I’ll make my rounds individually.” He stepped away from the board, and AJ turned to congratulate Brandi.
“That’s great, Brandi. What schools?”
“Alabama, LSU, and UT Austin. I’m still waiting on a few Texas colleges, but I’m thinking Alabama.”
“You’re going south?”
Brandi smiled, her chocolate eyes gleaming. “Yup.”
“Hey, Brandi, what colleges did you get?” Dennis asked, gaining Brandi’s attention.
AJ turned back to face the front, happy for her classmate.
“Alex,” Mr. Miller said, crouching next to her. “Please tell me you got letters. Ivies went out yesterday.”
She let out a soft laugh and nodded. “I did, Mr. Miller.”
“What colleges?”
Releasing a short exhale, she said in a low voice, “Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, Princeton, and Columbia.”
Mr. Miller’s jaw dropped. “You got into five Ivies?”
“No way,” Robin, the most competitive student in her physics class, said next to their teacher. He had always found AJ to be his competition. “I’m waitlisted for both Harvard and Yale, and you get five Ivies after that article about you? I got rejected from Dartmouth and Columbia. How did you do it? Pay someone?”
That was why she had kept her voice low.
She didn’t want anyone to feel small because they compared themselves to her.
She was genuinely happy for every one of her classmates.
But Robin made her feel ashamed of her acceptances.
He made her feel undeserving.
“Sit down, Robin,” Mr. Miller ordered, no doubt sensing AJ’s hesitation and embarrassment to answer. Then their teacher stood straight and yelled, “Listen up.”
Everyone’s eyes trained on Mr. Miller, AJ’s included.
“I’m only going to say this once. Do not belittle your fellow classmates for getting into the college you had hoped to get into. Be proud of them—” He had glanced down at her and smiled before he continued. “The schools you received acceptance letters from are a combination of your hard work, your GPA, your SATs, and your college application essays. The letters you received are what you deserve, according to the admissions committees, not your classmate. I am proud of every single one of you. Whether you were accepted into a private institution, a state school, or an Ivy League school, I am proud that you will be continuing your education. As your teacher, I am proud to have helped you along the way.”
Brandi leaned over, poking AJ’s arm with the eraser end of her pencil. “You got into Harvard and Yale?”
AJ nodded. “I did.”
“How are you not screaming that from the rooftops right now? If I got into one the best colleges in the world, I’d be screaming.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “I know a lot of others wanted them, too. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad or make it seem as if I bought my way into the schools.”
“Trust me, Alex, if anyone deserves the Ivies, it’s you. Congratulations.”
“Thank you, Brandi. And congratulations on Alabama, UT Austin, and LSU. Whatever college you decide, they’re lucky to have you.”
“I will see you all in the next class. If you have any questions on Newton, please come see me,” Mr. Miller said, dismissing the class. AJ walked to the front of the classroom and was about to turn for the door when Mr. Miller said, “Alex, can I talk to you for a moment?”
She stepped closer to his desk. “Sure, Mr. Miller.”
When the classroom had cleared out, her physics teacher pressed his arms against the surface of the desk and grinned at her. “I have never taught a student as brilliant as you. And I’ve never taught a student who has been accepted into five of the eight Ivy League schools. Harvard and Yale, Alex. That’s amazing. Please don’t let Robin’s jealousy make you feel bad. You worked hard your senior year, and you should be proud of yourself.”
She nodded. “I am pretty proud of myself. I didn’t think I’d get into five of my college choices.”
“Did you hear back from your other choices?”
“I only received letters from five colleges. I haven’t heard of others receiving letters from Stanford, Duke, and NYU. I just have to wait and see.”
“Stanford still the plan?”
“Only if I get in,” she said as her phone vibrated in her jeans pocket. She reached behind her and pulled it out to find a message from Evan. She smiled before she focused on her physics teacher. “But if not, and Duke accepts me, it’s between Duke and Yale.”
Mr. Miller nodded. “Good. That’s what I want to hear. Now, go enjoy the rest of your day. If you ever need me, Alex, you know where to find me.”
“Thank you for everything, Mr. Miller,” AJ said as she walked out of the classroom and into the busy hall. It was now the end of the day, and everyone was rushing to get home. AJ had planned to meet Evan at the library, but his text message changed her plans.
Evan: Sorry, AJ. Meet me at the baseball field when you’re ready. Coach has me working on my batting with some of the pitchers.
AJ: All right, I’ll head over there now. See you soon.
Once she sent Evan a reply, she walked down the hall to her locker. She spun her combination and opened her locker. Placing her books in her bag, AJ zipped it up, pulled her bag out, and let the strap rest on her shoulder. When she shut her locker door, the captain of the cheerleading team, Jordan, leaned against the steel locker next to AJ’s and sighed.
“Hey, Jordan.”
“Hey, Alex.”
AJ brushed her hair behind her ear and took in Jordan’s sullen expression. “Are you okay?”
The nicest cheerleader AJ had ever met and tutored shrugged a shoulder. “I am so sick and tired of everyone asking me about college letters. It’s like the million-dollar question or something.” Jordan turned and glanced around them. “I only received rejection letters. Do you know how much I would kill to have even a state college accept me? What if all I get are rejection letters?”
AJ set her palm on Jordan’s shoulder. “Hey, you’ll get into a good college. What other colleges did you apply for?”
“Baylor, University of Chicago, Georgetown, and University of Notre Dame.”
“I know that Regan from my chemistry class hasn’t received anything from the University of Notre Dame. I’m sure they haven�
��t sent them out. I’m still waiting on a few colleges, too.”
Jordan pursed her lips, staring at AJ in awe. “How do you do it?”
AJ’s brows met in confusion. “Do what?”
“Stay so humble and nice? Alex, I just told you I got rejection letters and you’ve been kind and haven’t thrown the fact that you got into Harvard and Yale in my face.”
“I wouldn’t do that. To you or to anyone. Trust me, Jordan, you’ll get into a great college. I gotta run, but if you ever need me, just call, okay?”
Jordan took a deep breath and exhaled. “Thanks, Alex. Sorry about my little meltdown. Carter has gotten into almost every school on scholarship. He just has to pick one. It must be nice to be a QB and have colleges wanting you.”
AJ mustered her best smile. She had every belief that Jordan would be going to college. “And colleges will want you, too, Jordan. I know they do. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.”
“Bye, Alex,” Jordan said as AJ stepped around her and headed out of the school building. When AJ pushed the doors open, she walked down the stairs and followed the path to the baseball field. It didn’t take her long to make it to the dugout fence.
When she grasped the steel fence, she watched Evan staring out at the field.
“Gilmore!” she shouted, alerting him to the fact he wasn’t alone.
Evan spun around and smiled the moment his eyes found hers. He was in a pair of black shorts and a T-shirt with their high school’s baseball team logo on it. He jogged toward her and took off his baseball cap once he reached her.
“I thought you were training with the pitchers today.”
“I was. Some went home, and others went with the assistant coaches for conditioning.”
She tilted her head. “Don’t you have to do that?”
Evan shook his head. “Nah. I just worked on a few swings. I’ve picked up all the baseballs, but I’m missing one. You want to help me find it?”
“Sure,” she said as she pulled her bag from her shoulder and let it fall to the ground.
