Without Apology

by Aubrey Bondurant

  He rolled me to the side, pulling out, and then giving me a fantastic view of his ass as he jumped out of bed to get rid of the condom. Next thing I knew, he was standing by the bed, putting on his boxers with another frown.

  “What is it?”

  “Am I shorting you on the date thing? Would you rather go out for a fancy dinner and do something? I don’t want you thinking this—” He motioned towards the bed. “Is only about sex.”

  I wasn’t sure where his words were coming from but found reassurance in his statement that his feelings were more than physical. “Honestly, I like Chinese food in bed with a movie on TV. And this is more to me, too.”

  He bent down, kissing my lips.

  After gorging ourselves on Chinese food, we found The Matrix on my bedroom television and snuggled in my bed to watch. It was the first time we simply lay there without agenda. I peered up at him from where I had my head on his chest to see how he was doing with it. I didn’t see Simon the type to simply lie around doing nothing. Yet he seemed content and was watching the movie.

  “What?” he asked, noticing my glance and squeezing me closer.

  We’d both donned our underwear because eating egg rolls while naked felt weird, in his words. I found the remote and paused the movie. “I’m curious to see if you’re experiencing work withdrawal.”

  I’d thought he’d laugh, but instead he sighed. “Even I need a break once in a while.”

  I scooted up, allowing us to be face to face. Apparently, my teasing had fallen way short. “I’m sorry for assuming otherwise.”

  His expression looked pained, reminding me that I could say the words freely while he couldn’t. He tucked my hair behind my ear. “Don’t be.”

  “So, if this was a regular Saturday night, and you were in New York City on a break from taking over the world, what would you be doing?”

  “Working out in the gym in my building. Perhaps attending a social engagement which had networking possibilities.”

  “With a date?”

  “Maybe.” He looked mildly uncomfortable at the question.

  I tried not to feel jealous. “And you’d take her back to your place after?”

  “No.”

  He squirmed in discomfort before finally admitting, “It’s easier to leave if you’re not in your own place.”

  “So no long-term relationships for you?”

  He grinned. “You mean it hasn’t been obvious before now? How about you?”

  “One serious boyfriend in college. All four years.”

  “What happened?”

  Despite the fact I’d gotten over him years ago, I didn’t like to talk about it. “He wanted to travel. Study for his Master’s at Oxford.” Implied was that my inability to fly had ruined the relationship. “We were young. That’s the longest relationship, anyhow. After that, there was nothing serious.” I found the older I got, the pickier I became.

  “Where did you and your sister live after your parents passed?”

  “We stayed in the same house. You should’ve seen this town. Neighbors mowing lawns, food for months on end, volunteer pickups for me after school, free services like gutter cleanings. This town was amazing. She still lives there in that house, now with her husband and kids.”

  “You two are still close I take it?”

  “Very. How about you? Any siblings?”

  “No. I was an only child.”

  “Do you and Emma hang out outside of work?” Since he didn’t have family and she seemed the closest to him, I wondered if they were friends outside of the job.

  He shook his head. “No. Emma prefers to spend time alone when she’s not working.”

  “Is that what you prefer, too?”

  “I used to.” He rolled me over, pinning me to the bed. “But since I met you, I get lonely when I spend the night without you.”

  I waited for the humor to show on his face. When it didn’t, I realized he was being serious. My hand reached out to touch his face. “Maybe I won’t be the only one sad when you have to leave,” I murmured, not meaning to have voiced the thought out loud.

  “Peyton—”

  I wouldn’t let him finish. It was what it was. I hadn’t meant to make it more. So I reached out and started tickling him. “Nope. No more depressing thoughts.”

  But he didn’t react to my tickling, which made me the prime target when he turned the tables. I shrieked in laughter, my body responding with jerky movements with his amused face above me.

  “I’m not ticklish, but it appears you are very.”

  Cooper apparently thought he heard his owner in trouble and wanted to come to my rescue—if you could call it that. He jumped onto the bed in the middle of the melee, nuzzling Simon to get to me. Thankfully, he wasn’t much of a guard dog and didn’t bite. But it did have me in hysterics.

  Though Simon was laughing, too, he tried to console the dog. “Your mum is okay, big guy. I promise.”

  Finally, wiping my face from the tears of my laughter, I ordered Cooper off the bed and onto his own. Then I got up to give him some love pats for semi-coming to the rescue, and for his trouble, I gave him a bone.

  Simon was still grinning. “Am I taking his place in the bed for the night?”

  “No. He’s too big, and I tend to be a bed hog.”

  “Can’t wait to find out if that’s true.”

  ***

  I woke up with Simon already out of the bed, and the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen. I was back to naked and delightfully sore in all the best places. While I threw on a short robe, I saw Cooper was gone from his bed, too. As I puttered out to the kitchen, I could hear Simon’s low voice.

  “I have no idea how many scoops of food you get mate. But two is all you’ll get from me until I can verify with your mum that you’re not using those sad eyes to get more than you should. Bollocks, I can’t stand your pathetic look like you’re starving. You can have three, but don’t tell her.”

  His back was turned as he scooped another cup into Cooper’s bowl and patted him on the head.

  I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. Standing in my space, dressed back in his suit, but with his feet bare and his shirt open, he was the sexiest man I’d ever seen.

  He was also quite sweet with my biggest love. “He gets two cups,” I said and watched Simon turn to see me leaned up against the door jamb.

  He smiled at me and then nodded towards Cooper. “Can’t blame him for taking advantage.”

  I walked towards him and put my arms around his body. “Sure can’t. What does bollocks mean?”

  “It’s an expression. Like a curse.”

  “Hm. But what does it mean?”

  “The literal meaning is balls.”

  “I imagine it’s not the sort you bounce?”

  He grinned. “Nope.”

  “So you just blurt out BALLS, basically as a curse?”

  “It’s not the literal meaning. It’s more when something is frustrating.”

  “What about bugger? I think I heard that once on British television.”

  “It’s a bit worse than bollocks, but same thing.”

  “More like saying fuck?”

  He looked amused by the conversation. “Sort of, but not really.”

  “Would I ever say bugger you or bugger me. Or he’s a buggering bugger?”

  He threw his head back in laughter. “No. Please don’t. Especially never say bugger me.”

  “Why, what’s the literal meaning?”

  He appeared mildly embarrassed. “Up the arse.”

  “Well, then. You really can’t have Americans running wild with British words, can you?”

  He was shaking his head, still smiling. “No. Definitely not.”

  “Do you have time for breakfast, or do you need to go?”

  Regret was in his expression. “I have to go. I did let Cooper out and make coffee, though.”

  I dipped my head, kissing his chest. “My hero.”

  His hands skimmed down
my back, rubbing gently. “I was thinking.”

  “About?”

  “What time is the party at your sister’s house over?”

  “No set time. Probably by eight. That’s when we’ll start getting the girls ready for bed. Why?”

  “I should be finished by late afternoon. Five o’clock at the latest. I could come by. If you still want me to.”

  My smile came easily. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much it would mean to me that he’d want to meet my family. “I do want.”

  “Then I should probably keep my toothbrush here for tomorrow morning, too.”

  Now I was in danger of doing a ridiculously obnoxious happy dance. I settled for another kiss to his chest. “You won’t hear any arguments from me.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

  Simon

  I left Peyton’s house and headed for my place, giving myself enough time to shower and dress before heading into the office. I also packed an overnight bag and some casual clothes to change into for the barbeque. The look on her face when I’d said I’d be there—Yeah, it was clear this meant a lot to her.

  What was the use of being the man in charge if I couldn’t leave the office by a reasonable time in order to meet her? I could balance my professional and personal obligations. It was simply a matter of priorities. Right?

  Eight hours later, however, I was convinced I was in a fresh hell. I’d spent the entire day cooped up in the office conference room downtown with Tom and Emma. The billable staff review had been easy as we were keeping everyone for now at Maddox Consulting. These were our fee earners, so unless they stopped earning, they stayed.

  But on the non-billable, back office side, we went through the people one by one, painstakingly reviewing each of them. We had five people over sixty who would most likely opt to take the early retirement package.

  Another three employees would need to be terminated based on bad performance reviews and other issues that hadn’t been dealt with. Thankfully, none had been in the accounting department.

  But for the last half hour, Tom and I had been arguing about Megan, Peyton’s accounting manager. Tom was convinced, due to Jeff’s comments, that she needed to go.

  “Aside from Peyton’s recommendation, do you have a reason to keep her?” Tom’s condescending tone put me on edge. If I wasn’t careful, I’d reveal too much.

  “She left Jeff’s group for a reason and has had nothing but glowing reviews ever since.”

  “But before that, she was on a performance improvement plan.”

  “Almost three years ago. Clearly, the combination of her with Jeff didn’t work.”

  I was thankful when Emma spoke up. “I, for one, think Jeff was the problem. He has the highest turnover in the entire back office and doesn’t care who stays on his team. Evidently, he is trying to sabotage other teams, as well.”

  “Agreed. She stays. That’s final.”

  Tom didn’t argue. But of course he couldn’t let it go. “Don’t tell me the Ice Man has gone soft because the woman is pregnant.”

  I gave him the type of glare which had earned me the Ice Man reputation. “Don’t bloody push me on this. Being professional doesn’t mean you need to be a prick. Nor does it mean you open up the company to discrimination lawsuits. Simply mentioning she’s pregnant right now could be used later to prove it had some bearing on our decision to keep her or not. I think you forget about details like that sometimes.”

  He shrugged, clearly not caring.

  It was pushing five o’clock, and I was starting to sweat I’d be later than I’d promised for the barbecue, but because my day just had to get even worse, my boss rang me on my mobile.

  “Hello, Phillip,” I answered on the first ring.

  “Hello, Simon. How’s it coming along with the employee vetting?”

  “I estimate we’ll be able to keep ninety percent.”

  “Good to hear. And if the accounting director, Peyton Waters, doesn’t get CFO, will she stay?”

  I swallowed hard and took the phone into my office. I didn’t want Tom observing me as we talked about Peyton. “Hard to say.” Then because I couldn’t help myself, I had to share it. “If it’s her colleague, Jeff who gets the position, then I’m certain she won’t stay. If it’s someone from the outside, maybe.”

  “George speaks very highly of her.”

  “She’s very capable.” And kind and smart and loyal. All of which I couldn’t divulge, but I hoped a fraction of all that had been captured in the interview with the board members.

  “He seemed to think the only downside was she wouldn’t travel.”

  I had to be careful not to lie. “She went to New York for the interview.”

  “Indeed. In any case, the board liked her the best. I believe they’ve decided to extend the job offer to her. It’ll be official on Monday.”

  If I’d been the type of man who celebrated, I would have fist-bumped the air. Instead, I responded calmly, forcing the happiness from my voice. “I think it’ll be the best decision for the company.”

  “Good. Tom tells me there’s one last anomaly in the accounting he’s having Lyle look into and then we’re clear for the purchase. Hopefully by Tuesday, the money will be transferred, and we’ll have a done deal.”

  This was the first I was hearing of a potential problem, or that our regular auditor, Lyle was feeling well enough to be working again. I had to bite my tongue and tamp down my temper. “I’ll speak to Tom and find out when he expects it to be resolved.”

  “Excellent. Then we’ll get you onto your next assignment.”

  “Cheers.” For the first time, I wasn’t filled with adrenaline about the promise of the next place to which I’d be traveling. Instead, I was wishing I had more time to spend here.

  After hanging up, I strode back into the conference room, my anger squarely directed at Tom.

  “When the fuck were you planning to tell me about the accounting anomaly?”

  “Last night, but I couldn’t get a hold of you. Emma told me you were busy.”

  I fixed my glare on him and spoke quietly. There was something much more intimidating about a man who kept his control than one who shouted. “I don’t care how busy you think I may have been. You send a bloody text or an email. At the very least, you could have brought it up this morning when I walked in the door. For the love of Christ, you’ve had all day to tell me about it.”

  I might have been with Peyton last night, but this was critical information, and he’d purposefully withheld it. Almost as though he enjoyed watching me get taken off guard by hearing it first from Phillip.

  Tom swallowed visibly, his face reddening, clearly embarrassed that Emma was a witness here. Something he often forgot was that I was the one who made his uncle millions while he was only along for the ride.

  “It’s only a possible issue.”

  “Fine. Fill me in on the possible issue.”

  The problem turned out to be he wasn’t sure if there was a problem or not. Which had me ringing Lyle. Luckily, he was indeed feeling better and was now going over Russ’s audit work.

  “There are a lot of manual spreadsheets.” Lyle shared his thoughts with all of us via a conference call.

  I tried not to sigh at the obvious. “This we know. Their antiquated financial system can’t handle things such as deferred revenue.”

  “It’s the employee compensation schedules that are the toughest to put together. It’ll take a while to comb through them.”

  “Did those come from Jeff?” I asked Emma.

  She checked the schedule. “Yes, they all did, but Peyton signs off on the figures before her team inputs them into the system.”

  “If you have questions, Lyle, then you can talk to Jeff, the director of payroll, first thing on Monday.

  Over the phone, Lyle asked, “Should I fly out tomorrow or keep working from here?”

  “Just keep working from there. I don’t want you to waste the time traveling. Hopefully, we’ll get clarifi
cation from Jeff on Monday if something still appears off.” It was probably nothing. At least I hoped so. The last thing we needed was a snag.

  “I’ll lay out the spreadsheets in question for Simon tonight,” Tom said. “That way he can see the potential problem we’re looking at.”

  Any other night I would’ve already demanded the spreadsheets. Bollocks. I glanced out the window to see it was starting to get dark. Another glance, this one down at my watch, made me wince. It was almost six.

  “Unless, of course, you have plans and will be busy again tonight?”

  Tom’s passive-aggressive tone grated on me instantly. “My plan is to figure out how the hell you missed this the first time around.”

  He bristled. “I may not have missed anything. We’re just double-checking numbers.”

  “Fine. I’m going to loo. When I return, I want to know everything.”

  I stalked out intent on one thing. I had to text Peyton and tell her I wouldn’t be able to make it. I could only hope she’d understand.

  ***

  It was after eight o’clock by the time I walked out to the car park with Emma. Thankfully, Tom was still getting chauffeured around and had a car out front, so he didn’t ask for a ride from one of us.

  “You hear back from her?” Emma knew I’d had plans with Peyton and had completely blown it.

  “No.” I’d sent a message telling Peyton I’d gotten caught up with something and wouldn’t be able to make it. Then another, asking if I could still come by tonight. But there had been no response. She’d probably blocked my number again.

  “Maybe if you go over there and—”

  “And what? Apologize?” It’s what a normal person would do. It’s what I should do. It’s what I wouldn’t be able to do.

  Emma’s gaze narrowed. “Nope. I mean, fuck it. Not like she means anything to you.”

  My temper snapped. “You know that’s not true. You also know I couldn’t avoid what happened tonight. This job and dealing with fires will always end up being my priority. By the way, you don’t tell Tom I’m too busy for information. Ever.”

  “I simply told him you’d left for the night,” she snapped back. “He chose to read into that and say what he did in order to irritate you. And if you truly believe your work will always be your priority, then don’t go over there tonight. Cut your losses and recognize she probably doesn’t want to deal with your prick side any more than I do right now. Good night.”