“Give me a sec.” I try to stop laughing and catch my breath. Trying to read the message to her, I can’t get passed the “Hello” before I start laughing again.
“Really? You need to stop laughing so you can read it through.”
“Okay.” Inhale, exhale. “Ready?”
“Duh!”
I read it aloud so Emily can hear it, too.
Subject: Perfect Match
From: Steve506
Hi Savannah,
I’m Steve. I came across ur profile and my heart tingled. Think we’re a perfect match. I’m thinking love at first sight. Did u feel it too?
“Delete. I can’t even finish reading that message.” Emily is laughing on the other end of the line.
“Sorry babes. That’s just one message, though. Anything else?” I scroll down and see another message.
“Yeah. One more.”
Subject: Hit me up
From: GaryH
Savannah! What’s up, cutie?! You look fine, so I thought I’d write to you. I’m not looking to commit, but I thought we could have some fun. ;)
“Okay. I’m done. Seriously Em?! This is what you made me commit to? I didn’t think guys like this really existed.”
Laughing hysterically, Emily says, “Oh my god! I didn’t either! Sorry, Sav. You know…this is just the first day. I’m sure you’ll get some creepers along the way,” she gasps for air, “but you’ll meet someone. Maybe you can take up that second guy on his offer in the meanwhile.” She’s laughing so hard it’s difficult to understand half of what she’s saying.
“Screw you.” I laugh with her. “This is horrible! I can’t believe people actually put themselves through this. We made this deal, but it’s not like I’m that desperate to meet someone.”
“I know. These are just some assholes. Don’t you dare back out now!” she warns. “Look through the list of matches carefully and see if there are any guys worth contacting.” Her curiosity is contagious. I have to admit that I’m somewhat curious, too. I begin scrolling through the list of guys, stopping at the ones that are my type. God, is this what other people do as well. Keep scrolling through. I can’t help but wonder how many guys passed through my page and discarded me as an option.
“There are a few cute guys on here. I’ll look through their profiles I guess, but I’m not going to contact them first.”
“I want to see! Send me their pictures! You know you could send them a message if you’re really interested just introducing yourself. No need to be creepy like those two guys,” she giggles.
After hanging up with Emily, I send her screen shots of the guys I think are cute and she insists on me sending messages to them. I refuse. I need to take this one day at a time. Right now, I’m tired. I’ve been up since four-thirty and I want to relax with a glass of wine and not think.
I fall asleep hoping a decent guy will approach me on this site. Online dating is supposed to have fewer barriers than real life dating, maybe that’s why guys are so brutally honest and forward.
September has flown by and I’m ready to delete my profile from The Perfect Match. I swear if I get one more dick picture with the caption Size really does matter. Wouldn’t you agree? I might just scream.
I ignore most of the messages I get. I respond to the few decent ones. Most times after a few back and forth responses I ignore those too or we decide to meet. Emily says I’m being too picky, but when I read her some responses she laughs and agrees. Apparently you need to give this whole experience time and I’m not allowed to quit just yet as per our agreement nine months ago.
“Hey, are you almost done with the cupcakes?” Beth peeks into the kitchen and looks my way.
“Um, yeah. I’m finishing them up right now.” I finish frosting my newest cupcake recipe; pumpkin spiced cupcakes with dark chocolate chunks and spiced butter cream frosting. Perfect for the start of fall.
“Great! They smell delicious. I have a customer asking for them. He read it on the chalkboard and wanted to try it.”
“Well, here you go. I walk over and hand Beth the tray with the fresh made cupcakes.”
“Thanks. Here,” she says handing me one. “Save it for me.”
I laugh and grab the cupcake. Beth always makes sure she tries one of each new recipe I make. “I’m going to clean up here and head out.”
“Sounds good. Date tonight?” Beth’s eyes gleam with curiosity.
“Yeah, but who knows how it will go. Some guys seem normal on their profile then they show up like that weird rocker dude. Tight leather pants, really low V cut tee shirt and spiked hair with piercings all over. I swear he didn’t look like that on his profile.” I shiver at the memory. As soon as he asked if I was Savannah, I wanted to run. Why can’t people just be true to themselves and present themselves how they really are?
“Yeah, that one was funny. Who knows, maybe this one will be a good one.” Beth smiles encouragingly and walks out to take the cupcakes.
I hope Beth is right. From the conversations I’ve had with this new guy, Brady, he seems nice enough.
I touch up my lip-gloss and throw on a coat over my dress and put on my cowboy boots. My outfit is casual yet dainty. A coral dress with lace top and flowy skirt falls a few inches above my knee. Southern Charm is my go-to place, especially for first dates like this. It’s my comfort zone and I know if need be, I’ll have someone to back me up. I’m still hesitant when meeting strangers. You never know if the next Craigslist killer will be among them.
Rolling my eyes at my own stupid assumptions, I head down to Southern to meet Brady. We’ve spoken for a couple weeks now, and he finally asked to meet. After a few disaster dates, I wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea. I’m starting to think I should stick to just chatting with these guys online where I don’t have to see how weird they really are when we meet.
As soon as I walk into Southern, I spot Brady sitting at a table. I wave over at Jake, one of my closest friends and Southern’s most liked bartender, and make my way to Brady. His smile in my direction reassures me that it is indeed him as I approach.
“Hey, Savannah,” he stands to greet me.
“Hey. It’s nice to meet you,” I say politely and take a seat. He sits after I do, obviously having perfect manners.
Brady is cute. He has shaggy brown hair and brown, kind eyes. He seems like a really nice guy, and from our conversations I could tell he is. We talk about our careers, hobbies, and get into more details about the things we’ve already discussed.
“What kind of music do you like?” Brady asks as we share an appetizer and sip on our beers.
“I love country music, but I’m also a fan of Coldplay and The Script. How about you?”
“I like a little of everything. I’m a big fan of Garth Brooks.” I nod in agreement and smile.
We continue to share superficial information about ourselves, asking basic first date questions. Brady had mentioned he had plans, but wanted to meet me regardless. I’m pretty sure he used that as an excuse to not prolong something he may want to get out of. I had used that same excuse in the past.
After an hour of friendly conversation, we say goodbye and I stay behind to say hi to Jake.
As nice as Brady was, I just didn’t feel any sparks. We had a nice time talking and having a drink, but at the end of the date there just wasn’t anything there. He’s more of friend material. I think he felt the same. He didn’t ask for a second date, and I didn’t insist. I make my way to the bar and take a seat.
“Hi, Jake. Can I have a drink?”
“Sure. No luck with that one?
I groan. “Nice guy, not my type.”
I hear a snicker coming from my right.
My head snaps towards the noise. “Do you have a problem?”
Shaking his head and trying to hold in his chuckle, he says, “Nope.”
“Sav, this is Parker. Parker meet Savannah,” Jake introduces us.
“Nice to meet you,” Parker holds out his hand.
Staring at it, annoyed at his mocking laughter, I shake it quickly. “Nice to meet you,” I say sarcastically and turn my attention back to Jake.
“Jake, this one guy sent me a picture of his dick. Like here it is for you to enjoy. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Grab a 3D printer and print out a model of his cock?” Jake laughs. He really lets it out. He’s been one of my closest friends for years now. We have a sibling relationship and he laughed when I first told him about the deal Emily and I made. Thank god he’s my local bartender.
“Well, was it big at least?” Jake asks laughing.
I look at Jake like he’s gotta be kidding me. “No, it wasn’t. I mean, it wasn’t tiny, but I’ve seen bigger.” We both laugh in unison.
I take a drink of my beer and relax.
“Just keep on pouring tonight, Jake. I’m so over this shit, but the deal was to give it at least six months. This is only one month in. Do you think we can make Em change her mind?”
“Yeah, right. She’s as stubborn as they come. If she made you pinky promise there’s nothing to break that. Cheers to five months left on this plan.” He slides over a Jager shot and I’m ever so grateful for the shot of alcohol to fill my veins.
“Do guys really do that?” Parker asks surprised. I look at him for a second and see an honest expression on his face.
“Yeah, they really do,” I sigh and shake my head in surrender. “It’s fucking ridiculous. Cheers to assholes.” I raise my glass and drink.
“Cheers,” Jake says and I notice Parker takes a drink from his beer.
“You know, maybe they aren’t really assholes and just don’t know how else to approach girls,” I hear Parker say. I immediately look at him with my eyebrows raised.
“Seriously? You think a dick picture will work without some kind of interaction?”
“So a dick picture after interaction does work?” His eyes are alight with amusement.
“Wow,” I say and keep drinking, ignoring him. Since when is a picture of a guy’s cock appropriate? If I were to send a pussy picture to a guy I’m sure he’d be shocked. Actually, on second thought, guys would probably jump on that invitation. Scratch that idea as an argument. Most guys would probably beg for a pussy snap.
Ugh! I need another beer, maybe a shot stronger than Jager to keep me sane, or drive me insane to the point where I don’t give a fuck if I receive inappropriate messages.
We continue to drink, Jake serving me shots and beer and me drinking them happily. Before I know it, I’m drunk and slurring my words, repeating the same shock about the messages I’ve received from guys over and over again. In my haze, I’m sure Jake is over hearing me complain, but I can’t shut the fuck up. After the bar closes, Jake drives me home and I plop on my bed.
“Jake! Why isn’t there a nice guy out there?” I slur my words but Jake just laughs.
“You know, Parker’s a nice guy,” I hear Jake say but his voice sounds far away. I’m asleep before he lets himself out. I’m sure I’ll pay for the drinking tomorrow.
Fuck me for drinking so damn much as a way to erase the stupidity that is the male species. What time is it? Not daring to turn my head, I blindly throw my arm to the side, feeling around my night stand in search for my phone. Knocking over a water bottle I had there, I find my prized possession.
Fuck! Ugh! I can’t make sudden movements like that. Slowly checking my phone, I notice a few texts and missed calls. Doesn’t surprise me Beth is worried. I’m fucking worried. I never miss work. I’m the owner. I’m supposed to be there.
I quickly write back to Beth and let her know what’s going on. Relieved to know she’s already at the bakery making the morning pastries, I lie back down and shut my eyes tightly in hopes that the room will stop spinning. I’m going to kill Jake as soon as I get a hold of my car.
Sending him a text, I ask where my car is and how to get a hold of it. I need to get to work. I slowly make my way to the bathroom while Jake responds. I hope to god he gets to me fast. He tends to sleep in late and he sleeps deep. I guess I can’t blame him with the late nights he works at Southern.
I make my way to the kitchen in desperate need of some coffee. I trust that Beth is doing great at the bakery, but I need to make my way over there. I get antsy when I’m not delegating and supervising. As I wait for my coffee to brew, my car keys draw my attention. What the hell are they doing here? I grab them and press the lock button on my keys and hear the familiar beep. What the hell? I rush to the window that leads out to my driveway and my car is parked there. Hangover forgotten, I pour my coffee in my to-go cup and get dressed hastily.
I walk in through the door in a rush and greet my staff in the front. I’ll ignore their questioning looks because I’m hungover and annoyed at myself for being late. I walk through the swinging doors into the kitchen and come face to face with a smiling Beth. “Good morning, sunshine!”
“Damn, Beth. Do you really need to yell purposely? You know I’m hungover, no need to rub it in,” I groan, and set my purse and cup down before taking a seat on one of the stools we have back here. Beth is happily mixing ingredients and whatever is in the oven smells delicious.
“What are you making?” I peek into the bowl and she smiles.
“Brownies. It’s been a long time since we’ve had some here and I needed a chocolate fix.”
“Yum! Any left over croissants? I’m starving.”
“No more croissants, but I did save you a blueberry scone.” She reaches over and hands me the scone she had hidden for me. My favorite. I grab my coffee cup, drinking the delectable, addicting liquid and eating my scone. No better cure for a hangover.
“So, are you going to tell me what happened last night?” Beth can’t hold in her curiosity any longer.
“I had a date.”
“And…”
“And Brady was a nice guy but another failed attempt at finding Prince Charming via the Internet. The date was nice in a ‘we can be friends’ sorta way. I stayed at Southern for a drink. That turned into Jake serving a few shots and more than a few beers. Realized after I spoke with you that he had left my car in the driveway. Now I’m hungover and exhausted.”
“Sounds like a fun night. Why don’t you just go home and sleep? Take the day for yourself. Forget about online dating and weirdos messaging you and just relax.”
“I’m okay, Beth. Being here will distract me. I’ll relax after I make a few things and make sure everything is running smoothly, then head home.” At that my phone rings. Looking at the name on my screen, I swipe my finger over it and answer the call.
“Jacob Green! How the hell did I get home last night?!”
Laughing, he says, “I took you home. Parker followed so I could drop your car off and not leave you carless in the morning.”
“Whatever,” I say grateful for Jake’s thoughtfulness. I’m just annoyed and cranky.
“How do you feel?”
“Fab.” I roll my eyes even if he can’t see me. “I’m at work now. I’ll talk to you later and you can help me piece the rest of the night together. I sure as hell hope you didn’t let me make a fool of myself.” I really don’t remember much after the third Jager shot.
“You were on your best behavior. Cross my heart. Just happy you had fun despite the bad date. We’ll talk later. Come by if you want later and have a drink. We have a live band performing tonight. Bring Beth while you’re at it.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. Jake is one of a kind. “Good luck with that one,” I say before hanging up. I never really know what to believe, if he likes Beth or not, but he throws it out there as a joke enough times that I’m starting to think he may actually like her.
After Beth puts the brownies in the oven, she heads out to make sure everything is okay out front and I get lost in my baking and lunch prep. Once the brownies are done and cooled, I take the tray out of the kitchen and out to the main room to display behind the glass enclosure by the counter.
“Dropping these off here, Beth
,” I call out to her when I hear a chuckle. My head turns in the direction of the laugh in search of the owner. There is something familiar about it, and I’m faced with a pair of blue, amused eyes looking at me. You’ve got to be kidding me.
“Good morning,” Parker says in a chipper voice.
“Um, hi,” I say as a hesitant smile turns up my lips.
“I see you’re feeling much better than I imagined you would.”
“Yup. What are you doing here?” I ask.
“Well, I was told it’s the best bakery in town. Someone was adamant I try it.” His eyes gleam with mischief and I should turn around and walk back into the kitchen, but they pull me in.
“I don’t know about the best in town, but we do serve great food.” I break eye contact and turn to go.
“So modest today? You wouldn’t stop babbling about it last night. You do remember going on and on about how delicious your cupcakes are right? I have to agree, your pumpkin cupcakes the other day were the best I’ve tried.” His smile grows, framed in a scruff that’s more than a five o’clock shadow, yet suits him.
“Damn! Jake said I was on my best behavior.” I curse under my breath and walk away after saying a quick “Enjoy.” I hear Parker’s laugh follow me all the way back into the kitchen.
I begin cleaning up the bowls and utensils I used when Beth walks in.
“Was that Brady? He’s hot! Not sure how that date would’ve been boring. I wouldn’t mind sticking my hands in that dirty blonde mane of his.”
“That’s not Brady, and thanks for that image.” I laugh and finish rinsing the bowls. “Jake introduced us last night. He was sitting at the bar at Southern when I joined Jake after my date. His name is Parker. He is hot, but he totally made fun of me and threw himself in the conversation when I told Jake about my experience with the matches online. Seemed a bit like a jerk at the moment, but not so much today.” I can’t believe I blabbed all about my bakery last night. God only knows what else I said. Despite the embarrassment I feel, I can’t help but think that he came to the bakery after my drunken bragging. Although if he tried the pumpkin cupcakes I made the other day, this isn’t his first visit. He really is hot. I’m sure he was an athlete.
Sweet on Wilde Page 2
