by Emma Renshaw
My store.
Walking out of the door today for the last time was like having my heart stomped on with a stiletto. I need to call Camille and the other girls. Every heartbreaking, tortuous thought that crosses my mind is followed by something that I need to do. My to-do list keeps growing and growing. My arms wrap around a pillow, squeezing it tightly as I breathe deeply trying to calm myself before I hyperventilate.
Nausea rolls in my stomach—I’m sick from the anxiety. How am I going to accomplish closing down the store in three days? I need to call the girls tonight, letting them go. Fuck. I’ll need to figure out some severance package for them. None are full-time, so it’s technically not required, but I refuse to let them leave with this short of notice without something.
Thoughts rush through my head at a mile a minute. My healed heart is cracking with every thought. The tears haven’t stopped pouring down my face. My eyes already feel raw from where I was rubbing them, trying to force the tears to stop. I pick up my phone to start figuring out a severance package for each girl when it rings in my hand.
Savannah.
“Hello?” I answer, trying to sound normal and not on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. I can’t bring this shit to her doorstep. I severely underestimated Rafael. He’s systematically taking everything from me. My home. My store. My hero. My heart cracks as I think the last part. I swallow the sob before it can make its way out.
“I’m surprised you haven’t called me,” Savannah says.
I’m silent for a moment; she can’t have heard already. “How did you find out?”
“Wait. What are you talking about? Find out what?”
“About my store?” I say, unable to voice the part about my dad.
“What happened with your store?”
I release the sob. “I’m being evicted. Harper Avenue is officially closed. Everything needs to be out in three days.”
“Oh, my god, Harp. I’m so sorry. What can I do?”
“Nothing,” I say, still crying. “Roman and I are handling it. Thanks, though.”
“No wonder you didn’t call,” she says.
“Was I supposed to call?” I ask.
“Girl, you always call me when we start our periods and we have a movie night with chocolate. I’ve been waiting for you to binge chocolate with.”
“I haven’t started,” I say slowly, counting the days in my head since my last period.
“Really? You always start the day before me. That’s weird.”
“Oh, my god,” I breathe.
Savannah’s silent for a moment, the tension hanging thick through the phone line.
“No,” she whispers.
“I don’t know,” I panic.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
I can’t be pregnant. Roman and I started officially dating yesterday. It hasn’t even been twelve hours. Yes, we’ve been having sex for almost two months, but this is too much. What am I going to do if I am? What will Roman think? I know what we talked about yesterday, but nothing concrete has been decided.
And, now I’m a girl with all these problems. I wouldn’t blame him for running to the hills of Tennessee. Waiting for Savannah during the next twenty minutes feels like waiting a lifetime. I meet her at the front door before she has a chance to enter. She doesn’t greet me, just grabs my hand and yanks me into the bathroom, handing me a bottle of water and a pregnancy test.
“I bought several just to make sure,” Savannah says, biting her nail. “This is supposed to be the best one, though.”
I start laughing hysterically.
“What’s so funny?” Savannah asks, watching me like I’m a maniac. I can’t control the laughter or get any words out. This situation is just too crazy. Roman. Rafael. My store. My dad. Everything. And, now I’m taking a pregnancy test. I’m fucking homeless with no business and no job prospects and I’m taking a pregnancy test. My laughter turns to sobs as I fall to the bathroom floor.
“Oh, sweetie,” Savannah says, dropping next to me and wrapping her slender arms around me. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
“No, it’s not,” I insist. “I can’t even tell you everything.”
“Yes, you can. You can tell me anything.”
I shake my head, still sobbing. “No, it’s too dangerous. Please. I’ll tell you soon but I can’t today.”
“I don’t agree with that. You knew my dangerous situation. I’m tough enough to know yours.”
“It’s not that,” I plead with her to understand. “I swear I’ll tell you soon.”
She huffs. “Fine.”
“But, Sav, I’m homeless. I don’t have a job. The baby daddy lives in a different state.” I start sobbing again.
She wraps her arms around me, waiting for me to calm down. “We need to know, either way. Take the test, Harp. We’ll figure out everything else later. One thing at a time. One thing that we can control.”
I nod, rising to my feet and wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. Savannah stands, too, handing me the pregnancy test. I take a deep breath and step into the bathroom, possibly about to change my life even more than it already has.
The twenty minutes I was waiting for Savannah seem like a beach vacation compared to waiting for three minutes for the display to flash with pregnant or not pregnant. When the timer goes off, Savannah looks at me. “Ready?”
I nod, reaching for the test.
Pregnant.
I’m fucking pregnant.
I sink to floor again, crying. My tears are a mixture of pain, sorrow, and happiness. I’m already in love with the baby inside of me, but I’m already failing. I have nothing to offer this baby.
“Are you going to tell him?” Savannah asks quietly.
“Yeah,” I say. “We’re dating or whatever. He told me loves me and I told him the same.”
Savannah squeals, wrapping me in a tight hug. “With every shitty thing happening, you can at least be happy that the love of your life came back for you.”
“You’re so sappy since you got married.”
“It comes with the territory,” she shrugs, smiling.
“I’ll be here as we figure out everything else, okay? You’ll always have Liam and me, for anything you need.”
“I know.”
“I’ll even give you a job if you need it. I know you’ll be fine. You always land on your feet, even in the highest, most gorgeous stilettos.”
I lean my head against her shoulder, sucking up every ounce of love and support radiating off of her.
“What do you think he’ll say?” Savannah asks.
“I don’t know. He’s always wanted a big family, but it’s probably too soon. I’m not exactly a catch right now. I’m just bringing trouble into his life. And he lives in Tennessee.”
“I bet he would move here for you. You’re not allowed to leave, so he’ll have to come here.”
“He said he would but we’ve been together for like twelve hours.”
“Harper, don’t kid yourself. You’ve been together a lot longer than that, even when you were apart you belonged to each other. Liam and I made a bet at our wedding. We made a bet to see how long it would take for you to admit your feelings. That man would have married you that night.”
Warmth and hope fill my chest. “How should I tell him?” I ask.
“With all the drama happening, you should do it in a really fun, exciting way. Make it special.”
“That does sound fun,” I say.
“Can I tell you something else?” Savannah asks, scrunching her nose and biting her lip nervously.
“I’m really happy you’re pregnant. Liam and I are trying, so hopefully I won’t be too far behind you.”
A fresh wave of tears spring to my eyes, but this wave is complete joy. Savannah and I both look toward the door when we hear movement out in the hallway. “Kiernan and James are here, they’re probably leaving. Let’s go say goodbye.”
Savannah pops up and helps me to my feet. All thre
e men turn to look at us as we walk out of the bathroom.
“Hey, Sugar. You doing okay?”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.
“That is not what we planned,” Savannah says behind me.
37
Roman
My body is frozen solid, the earth stopped spinning, and time stopped. The only thing I can see clearly is Harper’s face. Her gorgeous face filled with doubt and worry. My gaze slides down her body to her stomach; I think part of me is expecting it to already be round and full, different from when I saw her only an hour ago.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant with my baby.
Harper is pregnant with my baby.
“Holy fuck.” My words come out on a whoosh of breath. There’s noise all around me, but I only see Harper worrying her bottom lip, nervous for my reaction. Ridiculous. How can I be anything but the happiest man alive?
My legs eat up the distance between us and hands wind into her hair. I’m still in a daze. This can’t be real. I can’t be this lucky. My lips crash down on hers. Her hands wrap around my back, gripping my shirt tightly when her mouth opens for me. My tongue plunders inside, sweeping along hers. I’m pouring every word I haven’t said yet into this kiss. Thank you.
Everything around me comes back into focus as we break our kiss and I lay my forehead against her. Savannah is ushering Kiernan and James out the front door, calling out just before it slams. “Congratulations! We love y’all!”
“Pregnant?” I whisper, still not willing to believe my luck. This other shit swirling around us couldn’t bring me down if it tried. It’s only given me more reason to fight and give Harper a safe, happy life.
“Yeah,” she says softly, breaking eye contact and looking down at the ground. I feel her body tense slightly when she pulls her lip between her teeth. “Is that okay?”
“Is that okay?” I repeat, taken aback by the crazy question. “Is that okay?”
She’s still looking down, worrying her lip, but she nods. I pull her lip from between her teeth, not wanting her to hurt her pillowy lips. “Is it okay that in a span of twenty-four hours you’ve given me everything I ever wanted?”
Her eyes pop up to mine, round with surprise. She can’t really think I’d be upset about this. Since I fell in love with her, I’ve been vocal about wanting a family with her.
“It’s more than okay,” I promise her. “It’s everything. I’ll try every day to give you even a fraction of what you’re giving me.”
“What am I giving you?” she asks softly.
“A family. You. A baby. Everything,” I whisper against her skin, kissing her again.
Her arms tighten around me, holding me tightly as mine band around her, hugging her to my body while I kiss her with everything I have, pouring every piece of myself into the kiss.
Breaking the kiss, I bring my hand down to her stomach, hoping to feel something. I know it’s too early but fuck, I’m happy. “Are you feeling okay? Have you been thinking this was a possibility?”
She shrugs. “I feel nauseous, but I thought it was probably the stress. Now I’m not so sure.”
“Fuck. The stress. Baby, I’m going to handle everything, don’t worry about anything. There’s no need for you to be stressed or worried, let me take care of you.”
I need to get the ring from Tennessee. I want Harper to be my wife before our baby comes into this world. My name didn’t come from much, but I take pride in the name it’s become. I got out of the trailer park and off the path my mother was on. She overdosed during my time in the Middle East. At that point, I hadn’t seen her in years. I sent gift cards to the grocery store every month, hoping she didn’t find a way to trade them in for cash. She wasn’t really a mother, and I had no father—unless you count the men she fucked for her drugs. I know I didn’t.
My kid is going to know nothing of that life. I’ll give him or her every opportunity to be something. Kids from my area only had a few choices: gang life, death, or military. Harper’s father helped me see that. Santiago helped me see it, as well. Both of them grew up the way I did and made something of themselves, or so we thought. I vow our children will never question us the way we are questioning them now.
Harper brings her hand up to my face. “I don’t think you can completely take away the stress about everything we’re dealing with, but I love you for trying.”
“How long have you known?” I ask, still rubbing her stomach.
“About twenty minutes. Savannah called me, wondering why I hadn’t called her. We start our periods at the same time every month without fail. I always call and we have a slumber party with Val and eat tons of chocolate. I didn’t call—so she called me—and I realized that in fifteen years, I’ve never started even a day late. She rushed over with a test and here we are.”
I press another kiss to her lips before bringing her in for a hug. “How far along are you?”
“I don’t know, I need to go to the doctor to confirm everything. I only took one test, I think most women take multiple.”
“Call the doctor,” I say, pulling my phone from my pocket handing it to her.
Her laugh sends warmth spreading through my chest and pride filling my veins. “Right now?”
“Yes, right now. Let’s go today.”
She laughs. “It doesn’t work that way. They probably won’t have an appointment today.”
“Just call,” I urge. A smirk breaks over my face when she shakes her head and starts dialing. I try not to look too smug when she tells me they had a cancellation and can squeeze us in this afternoon.
The day started with a shitstorm of epic proportions but is turning around to be the best fucking day.
My smile falls from my face when Harper starts crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, bringing her hands to her face, hiding her tears.
I tear her hands away from her face. “What could you possibly be sorry for? I’m pretty sure you get a pass on anything for the next nine months. Happy wife, happy life, and all that.”
She chuckles through her tears. “I’m not your wife.”
“Yet,” I say with confidence. “You’re not my wife yet.”
“I just blurted it out. Savannah and I planned this fun, sweet surprise. You would have loved it, but I just blurted it out, like I was asking what you wanted for dinner.”
“Sugar, I don’t care how you tell me, just as long as you tell me.”
“I wanted it to be special,” she says, pouting.
“I think it was special, but I’ll tell you what—don’t tell me what you planned, and surprise me with our next kid.”
“Roman,” Harper says, laughing. “We don’t even know how far along I am and you’re already talking about our next kid.”
“Sugar, I’m already thinking about our next four kids.”
She laughs like I’m joking. I’m not, not even close. I sweep her up into my arms, carrying her into the bedroom. “We have three hours until the appointment—enough time to show you how damn excited I am and how fucking hot it makes me to think about my baby inside of you.”
Bringing my knee up on the bed, I gently lay Harper down, hovering over her. “You’re beautiful.” Each article of Harper’s clothes comes off slowly as I peel them from her body, kissing every inch of her skin. Our lips meld together, never breaking apart while we make love.
38
Harper
“Maybe we should keep the van,” I say, trying to keep my face serious.
Roman turns his head, glaring at me for a second before looking back at the road. “There’s no way in hell we’re keeping this van.”
“I like it.” A smile takes over my face as I raise an eyebrow.
“You only like it because I just ate your pussy in the backseat.”
I shrug, not seeing an issue with this reasoning. “The reclining seats that lay almost flat are pretty useful.”
“Nope,” Roman says, popping the p. “I’m not driving this thing longer
than I have to.”
“Fine,” I say, chuckling at the expression on his face.
“Ready to talk about the store?” He glances at me with a worried expression, afraid he’s going to send me into a tailspin again. I’m better than I was this morning, but I’m still struggling coming to terms that my dream is gone. Poof. Just like that. I want to find the old landlord and strangle him for selling to Rafael.
“Sure.” May as well rip off the bandage and get this over with.
“James is meeting the movers in an hour and taking everything to a large storage facility. It’s climate controlled, so there won’t be any issues with anything. I didn’t know if the heat could destroy fabric, so I played it safe.”
I groan. “I’m going to need to call all my vendors and see about returning everything. I don’t have the money to rent that space for long, and I’ve pretty much depleted my accounts with the severance pay.”
“Wait a minute. Don’t worry about the storage fee, I’ll take care of it. Kiernan is working on your website, so you can sell online until we find a new storefront that you’ll own.” He puts emphasis on that last word. I feel the same. If I’m ever able to get Harper Avenue open again, it will be in a building I own. I don’t think I’ll ever rent again. “You’ll be an online boutique until we find a location. You may have to cut the girls’ hours but I’m sure you’ll still need help. I don’t think it’s time to think about severance. They’ll need to know today what’s happening with the store, Camille will freak out if she opens in the morning and everything’s gone.”
My face drops into my hands as I start crying.
“Oh shit,” Roman says. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not that. I’m just happy you’re here.”
“Always, Sugar.” He grabs my hand, pressing a kiss on my palm before holding my hand in his lap.
“So, I’m not jobless?”
