As Spring Break neared she looked forward to assigning the fourth term projects. Over a six week period, her students would research and study a specific topic, person, group, or country of their choice and submit a final detailed report complete with charts, graphs, tables, pictures, media clippings, and detailed written essays. Having to grade each project made the last two weeks of school hectic, but what her students learned in the process made it all worth the mad scramble.
Before going to bed, Kristin looked at the wedding invitation one last time she had placed on her nightstand. Two embossed hearts decorated the front along with the phrase, This day I will marry my friend. Inside, the elegant black script announced the upcoming nuptials of Brandon Keith Mitchell and Josie Elise Matthews on a Saturday afternoon in March, almost one year after she and Brandon had broken up.
Who is Josie? What makes her more special than me? Why did he choose her instead? She didn’t have the answers to any of those or the dozen other questions raging through her mind. She had fallen short, and she had no idea why.
Brandon had been the man of her dreams. Three years younger than him, she’d had a crush on him since high school, and when she returned from college to find he still lived in the area, still attended the church, and still wasn’t married or dating anyone, her infatuation with him returned in full force.
The first time he asked her to lunch after church one Sunday, she walked on air the entire day. He was the perfect gentleman, and he always made her feel like a princess. Never harsh or critical, easy-going, funny, and genuine were some of his many qualities. Their relationship had started out as friends and had grown into a close companionship. He had never tried to take her too far physically. Holding hands or feeling his arm around her made her feel special. His kisses were sweet and gentle.
Pain gripped her heart wondering what she could have done to lose him like she had. He had been consumed by his work a lot of the time, and she hadn’t paid much attention to the business he ran as a website designer. I should have been more interested. He also loved sports, something she had never been good at. He had other friends he spent time doing that kind of thing with. Maybe I should have made more of an effort to go watch him play or tried some of them myself.
When it came right down to it, one thing summed it all up. Brandon had been perfect in every way, but she had fallen short. I wasn’t good enough for him. Josie obviously was. She didn’t know anything about her, but she had met her briefly when they had been at church on the Sunday following Christmas, and one thing she did know without a doubt. Brandon’s future wife was as beautiful as they came.
Stuffing the invitation into a drawer on top of a photograph she kept of him, she slammed the door shut, knocking a picture of her family to the floor in the process. Not bothering to pick it up, she turned off the light and pulled the comforter up to her chin. She turned on her side and clutched her pillow, allowing the tears to come. In a month, Brandon would be holding his wife as he fell asleep, and it would be someone besides her.
She would be alone.
***
At eleven-thirty Jacob turned off the television and went to brush his teeth. Kristin hadn’t called like he had hoped. He’d waited by the phone all evening, longing to hear her sweet voice. He could listen to her talk and laugh and watch her smile for hours. And he had done that, for one wonderful evening.
He had waited too long. If I would have asked her out in college, she never would have dated the guy who broke her heart. He could be married to her right now, but instead he climbed into an empty bed.
If her reluctance to start a relationship with him had only been about their principal-teacher status, he would resign and look for a job elsewhere. If she wasn’t interested in him, he could live with that, but he knew she had looked at him like no other woman had before, making him fall in love with her all the more.
But Kendra had let him know the real barrier. Kristin had lost the only man she had ever loved. Her fiancé had walked away from her, something he could not imagine any man in his right mind doing. How could he convince her he wouldn’t do the same? How could he show her how much he wanted to be with her?
He wanted to pursue her like a relentless lover; Send her flowers every day, call her every night, keep asking her out until she said yes, but in his position he could not do that. He would have to wait and pray. The next move was up to her.
He replayed their date over and over in his mind. It had been better than he had hoped. Her sky-blue eyes, heart-shaped face, and lips that could curve into a perfect smile were intoxicating. He’d wanted to kiss her several times, especially after she told him she wanted to go out with him again, but he had controlled himself. He thought there would be time for that later, and he didn’t want to move too fast. But now he wondered if he would ever have another chance.
He would have difficulty seeing her every day and yet keeping his distance. It had been hard enough before he had gotten up the courage to ask her out. Now knowing how much he enjoyed being with her, the effect her touch had on him, and how blue her eyes looked close up, he didn’t know how he would manage. He would keep his distance as much as possible, but there would be the meetings and the times he would need to talk with her about her classes or a discipline problem, as well as the casual run-ins before and after school.
He began to drift off into a troubled sleep when he remembered something. Last week a scheduling problem had been brought to his attention, and it affected Kristin and the other social studies teachers. He had planned to meet with them last Friday, but his schedule had gotten too full. It wouldn’t have been a big deal then, only another administrative duty on his agenda, but now having to call her to his office to discuss it would be a major ordeal. He could put the meeting off for a few more days, but not for long. Maybe she would come around by then, and they could discuss the situation over dinner one night.
Or maybe not.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“Is this going to be on the test tomorrow?” one of Kristin’s students asked the following Monday afternoon.
“Yes,” she said. “Any other questions?”
No one else raised their hand. She closed her notebook and heard the bell ring. “Okay, that’s all for today. I will see you tomorrow.”
The students scrambled out of the room, and Kristin began cleaning up her classroom and desk area. It had been a long day, but she would give anything for it to not be over.
The time had arrived for her meeting with Jacob. He had left a note in her box this morning saying he needed to discuss something. She couldn’t help but wonder if his intentions were personal rather than administrative in nature, but she had no choice but to go in good faith, reminding herself that thus far he had respected her decision and made no attempts to come by her classroom, email her, call her, or drop by her place as she had thought he might. Whenever they had seen each other, he had kept his distance, or if necessary, kept any exchange between them professional. He seemed to be waiting for her to make the next move.
“Go on in,” his secretary told her when she arrived in the office. “He’s expecting you.”
She walked through the open door and saw him sitting at his desk talking on the phone. Lifting his eyes to her, he motioned for her to sit down. She complied and waited for him to finish his conversation with the person on the other end of the line. With him near, she had a hard time breathing.
He said good-bye and hung up the telephone, shuffling through some papers on his desk before turning his attention to her. “Sorry about that,” he said. “Thank you for coming. I have something I need to discuss with you concerning a schedule change for next term.”
She waited for him to go on. His businesslike demeanor pleased her and disturbed her at the same time. This is how she wanted things: Professional and impersonal, wasn’t it?
“As you know, Shelley Alexander’s baby is due in April, and she will not be with us after Spring Break. A substitute has been hired to take her classe
s for the remainder of the year, but there is one problem we need to work out.”
Kristin listened to his words, making eye contact with him as he spoke, but her thoughts were not focused. Even in the fluorescent lights, she could see the red highlights in his hair and the green flecks in his hazel eyes.
“She has been teaching the remedial social studies course this semester, but I would rather not have the substitute take that class on. You are the next one on the rotation, so you will be teaching it for the remainder of the year.”
Kristin snapped to attention. “In place of what?” she asked. Surely he didn’t expect her to give up her prep period and teach seven classes.
“Well, that’s where things get tricky. Mr. Hoffman said he would be willing to take on your Advanced Geography class, and he would give up one of his regular classes to the sub. Would that be all right?”
Kristin felt flustered. No, that was not all right. She didn’t mind teaching the remedial class, even though it could be challenging, but giving up her geography class for the last nine weeks when she would be supervising their projects did not sit well with her. Her students this year were even more enjoyable to work with than in previous years, and she could not hand them over to Mr. Hoffman, the most boring teacher to walk the planet. They didn’t deserve that after all the hard work they’d put in.
“Mr. Young, I--,” she began, but faltered. “Can I think about this? Or is this even up for discussion?”
“Nothing is set in stone,” he said. “I’m not sure what any other options might be, but I’m open to any ideas you may have.”
She couldn’t think clearly enough at the moment to offer an alternative solution, but she had to come up with something.
“Can I get back to you tomorrow?” she said. “I’d like to think about it, if that’s all right?”
“Fine,” he said. “This doesn’t have to be decided today.”
“Thank you,” she said, rising from her chair and quickly averting her eyes from his steady gaze. She knew his eyes remained on her until she stepped out of his office.
***
“I have a confession to make,” Kendra said the following evening while she helped with the dishes.
“Do I want to know?” Kristin asked.
“Probably not,” Kendra replied, “but if I don’t tell you, I’ll be in more trouble.”
“Wait,” Kristin said, drying her hands on a dish towel and walking toward a chair. “Let me sit down.”
“I told Jacob about Brandon.”
“What? When?”
“The night I called him for you. I’m sorry, Kris. Really. I wouldn’t have said anything, but he asked.”
Kristin sighed. “It’s okay,” she said. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Hasn’t he called you?”
She told Kendra about the rose and the note. “It’s up to me,” she said.
“Call him, Kris. Talk to him and see what happens.”
“I can’t,” she said. “I have a school issue to settle with him before I can talk to him in a personal way.”
“Why?”
She told her about the scheduling conflict and the idea she had on the matter. “I was supposed to talk to him after the staff meeting today, but when I went to his office, his secretary said he had already left. Tomorrow afternoon I’m meeting with parents. I might have to wait until Thursday.”
“Why don’t you pick up the phone and talk to him about it now? I’m sure he’ll understand your position.”
“That would be completely unprofessional, calling him at home on an administrative issue.”
“Kristin,” Kendra sighed. “You are too worried about what everyone thinks. You know you aren’t trying to use his interest in you to get your way. He’s not going to think that, and no one else will even know about it.”
Kristin pondered the idea. It would be easier to talk to him over the phone than face to face. After Kendra left, she sat and stared at the phone for several minutes. She picked up the handset once, but put it back down.
“No, I’ll wait until Thursday,” she said to an empty room, well almost empty. The kitten mewed at her feet, and she picked him up. “How did I get myself into this mess, Daisy?”
CHAPTER EIGHT
“I know Alex has more potential than this,” Kristin told the mother of one of her failing students on Wednesday afternoon. “He does well with the material presented in class, but he doesn’t do his assigned reading or turn in his homework. I’m willing to let him do make-up work, but if no one pushes him to do it, he probably won’t.”
“Thanks for letting me know,” she said with a sigh she heard often from parents of thirteen and fourteen-year-olds.
“If he doesn’t pass this class, he won’t graduate to ninth grade, and I really don’t want to see that happen.”
Kristin spent the next ten minutes going over Alex’s test scores and missed homework assignments, giving his mother a list of assignments that he needed to make up. After Alex’s mother left, another parent entered her classroom, and Kristin said almost all the same things to him.
Kristin had some photocopies she needed to make after her parent meetings, and by the time she returned to her classroom, she knew Jacob had probably already gone home. She walked down the empty hallway toward the front entrance. At the last moment she decided to stop by his office on the off chance he was there. His secretary had left, but the door to his office was open, and she could see the lights were on. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward and knocked on the open door.
“Come in.” he said.
She stepped inside and he lifted his eyes. He smiled when he saw her and rose from his chair, knocking over a cup of water on his desk in the process.
“Oops,” he said, reaching for a roll of paper towels on top of his file cabinet.
Watching him clean up the mess, she felt the corners of her mouth begging to rise, but she pursed her lips and tried to help him. When most of the water had been wiped up, he laid a few wet papers aside and motioned for her to sit.
“I wasn’t expecting you this late,” he said.
“I didn’t know if you would still be here,” she said. “But I thought I’d check.”
“School Board meeting coming up,” he said, sitting back in his chair. “Nothing that can’t wait.”
She sat down and plunged ahead, stating her case. He listened and nodded when she talked about not wanting to hand her geography students over to Mr. Hoffman.
“I understand,” he said. “What would you like to do?”
“I don’t want you to think I’m asking for special treatment,” she said. “Imagine I’m Mr. Hoffman and say to me what you would say to him right now.”
He laughed.
“I’m serious,” she said, unable to hold back a smile of her own. “What would you tell him?”
“First of all,” he said, rising from his chair and coming around to lean on the front of his desk. “I cannot imagine you as Mr. Hoffman. And second, this is not about me giving you special treatment. I listen to my teachers. They are the backbone of this school, and I trust their judgment. You are one of them.”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly,” he said. “Now, what do you want to do?”
“Can I keep my geography class and give one of my regular classes to the sub in exchange for the remedial class?”
“You want to teach two advanced classes and the remedial course? Isn’t that a bit much?”
“With the projects going on, I ease up on the lectures and homework during the final term. The last two weeks will be more work, but I can front-load the remedial class to compensate.”
“We could give the remedial class to Mr. Hoffman,” he said. “He won’t like it, but there’s not anything he can do about it.”
“But that wouldn’t be fair,” she said. “It’s my turn. I haven’t taught that class since fall of last year.”
“If that’s the way you want it,” he said. “I won’t arg
ue.”
“Thank you,” she said, wondering why she had worried so much. Jacob had always been reasonable. An awkward moment of silence followed. She started to gather her things.
“Will you have dinner with me tonight?” he asked.
She stood from her chair, her belongings in hand. “I have a lot of work to do,” she said.
“Just dinner? I’ll have you home by six. No kidnapping you to the beach, I promise.”
She wanted to say yes. She could use someone to talk to besides her sister and Daisy. Remembering the great time they’d had on Valentine’s Day--driving to the beach, eating at that quaint restaurant, standing so close to him at the lookout point; She longed for another hour with him, even if they remained strictly friends.
“Okay,” she said.
She drove home and Jacob followed soon after. They got some fast food and went to a park to enjoy their meal together. Their conversation flowed easily, and neither of them mentioned anything about the future of their relationship or the past. For now they enjoyed the moment, and Kristin didn’t notice when six o’clock came and went.
“Will you tell me about the guy you were engaged to?” he asked on the drive back to her place. “You don’t have to, but I’m willing to listen.”
“There's not much to tell,” she said. “We dated for two years, got engaged, and then he changed his mind, moved to Portland and is now engaged to someone else.”
“Somehow, I don’t think you see it in such simple terms,” he stated accurately.
No, she did not see it that way, but she didn’t know how to express the way she felt. A more objective, analytical view held less pain.
Bring Me Flowers (Garden of Love 5) Page 12
