“My boss took the time to talk with me instead of kicking me out like he should have. I ended up breaking down in his office, and he told me to get some help. I didn’t know where to turn and thought I could handle it on my own, but a few days later a guy that I work with had heard what happened and gave me the phone number of his pastor.
“I ended up calling him, and he’s been counseling me since Christmas. I’ve gotten straight with God again. I know now that I began distancing myself from Him several years ago. But I’m closer to Him now than I’ve ever been. His grace is an amazing thing.”
Looking at her--really looking at her for the first time in a long time, Jon reached out and placed his fingers on her cheek.
“I was wrong, Katie. I was wrong about everything. I’ve been living in misery without you since the day I moved out two years ago, even though I tried not to show it. I’ll do everything I can to show you how much I still love you.”
His words and soft touch made tears pool in her eyes and escape down her cool cheek. He brushed them away with his thumb.
“Can you forgive me, Katie? Can you let me love you again?”
CHAPTER FOUR
On Monday morning Kathleen woke earlier than usual. She had been trying to spend time reading the Bible each day like she used to, but oftentimes she either didn’t have time or forgot once she arrived home from work. Last night she had set her alarm clock fifteen minutes early.
If one good thing had come out of the separation, this was it: Her relationship with God had been strengthened. When the bottom had dropped out, she had learned to realize He was still holding on to her. She had never felt His peace or His love more than in the last two years.
After a quick shower to wake herself up, Kathleen returned to her bed and lowered herself onto the handmade patchwork quilt Jon’s mother had made for them that matched the colors in their wedding: light pink and white. Dressed in her robe, she took her Bible from the nightstand next to the matching headboard. She and Jon had picked out the bedroom set together and purchased it with the money family and friends had given to them for their wedding.
Opening to where a bookmark one of the girls had made for her had been placed, she began reading, asking God to teach her from His Word. With Jon’s plea for forgiveness on her mind, she needed the Lord’s guidance now more than ever. Was getting back together the right thing to do? She simply didn’t know.
She did not have to read far into Colossians One before words on the page leapt out at her. Verses three, four, and five read:
We always pray for you, and we give thanks to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for we have heard that you trust in Christ Jesus and that you love all of God’s people. You do this because you are looking forward to the joys of heaven--as you have been ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News. This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is changing lives everywhere, just as it changed yours that very first day you heard and understood the truth about God’s great kindness to sinners.
Kathleen stopped reading. Jon had been the one to tell her about God’s great love. Her parents were not churchgoers, and she had only gone a few times with a friend before that. But after they had gone to the homecoming dance together, he’d invited her to start coming to church with him.
At first she was a bit wary. She’d heard about strange cults and weird religious practices on the news before, and her parents had always said Christians were a bunch of hypocrites.
But the only strange thing she encountered was the message that the God who had created the entire Universe, the God who had made her body and her soul, the God who had a purpose and a plan for everyone on this earth; He loved her. He wasn’t going to ask her to practice strange rituals. He only wanted her to accept His love and forgiveness, and to trust Him with the rest of her life.
Jon had been the one to pray with her for the first time. He had been so patient, answering all of her questions and explaining things in a way she could understand. He had helped her to know what to say to a God she had never talked to before in her life.
But even more than that, Jon had showed her what it meant to follow Jesus with the way he lived his life. He cared genuinely about others, helped organize youth-group activities where they could help those in need, and he had treated her with the utmost respect--never trying to get her into bed with him or hurting her in any way.
Yes, the last few years he had changed. He had gotten lost somehow, forgotten the truths he had based his life on before. But she knew the Jon she loved and the Jon who loved her was still there. He was back. Now she just had to figure out what to do about it.
She hoped Pastor Swan would have some words of wisdom for her the following evening. After church on Sunday she had asked if she could meet with him sometime this week, and he had Tuesday evening free. She could not turn to her family for guidance. They hated Jon for what he had done to her. He was just another religious hypocrite to them. They would not be supportive of a reconciliation.
The only other person she felt she could talk to was Hannah. She had been a faithful friend over the years, but it seemed they had very little time to talk these days with Hannah’s busy home day-care and her own two girls to care for. Once again she found herself having to put her trust in the One who could help her sort through all her fears, concerns, and confused emotions.
***
“Hello. How are you doing today, Mrs. Conner?” Jon asked his next customer at the supermarket check-out. His shift would be ending soon, but the day had not dragged by as usual.
“I’m doing all right. Can’t complain,” the gray-haired woman replied. “Got some new pictures of my latest grandson to show off.”
Jon continued swiping items over the scanner as he viewed the photographs Mrs. Conner whipped out of her purse. “Cute,” he said. “So how many is that now?”
“Number five,” she said. “Could be the last. My daughter doesn’t think she can go through all that a fourth time and my son, well he’s divorced now, you know.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jon replied. “Well, I hope you enjoy that little guy.”
“Oh, I’m sure I will,” she smiled. “Nothing like a new baby to hold and rock to sleep.”
Jon’s heart warmed at the woman’s final words. During his counseling session with Pastor Tom last week, he had told his mentor of his renewed desire to have more children with Katie: Something he never thought he would consider.
Seeing no one in his line after Mrs. Conner, Jon decided it was time to shut down. He had some duties as assistant manager of the large supermarket to take care of before he could leave for the day, and he was anxious to get out of here on time if possible. He had agreed to meet Katie while the girls had their skating lesson. She had seemed so touched when he offered to pay the fees so they could start going again.
Katie had not forgiven him outright on Saturday evening, but she had said she would be willing to work toward that end. A small ray of hope was all he needed. He was determined to win her back. How he could have ever pushed her away, he still did not understand.
Katie was waiting for him at the fast-food restaurant across the street from the rink when he arrived. Katie ordered something to drink. She’d already eaten with the girls. He hadn’t and got a hamburger and some fries for himself along with a drink.
Katie didn’t want Jamie and Amanda knowing about all this yet. He understood. But he did wish he could begin seeing them more often. For so long he had seen his daughters as obstacles that had gotten in the way of his plans and dreams. But God had reminded him what treasures they were, and now his time with them always seemed too short.
***
Katie took the chair across from Jon and set her lemonade on the table. He had come straight from work, she noticed, seeing his navy pants and white shirt. She knew he hated working at the grocery store when he had the potential to do so much more. But looking at his smiling face tonight, she didn’t think he
seemed as downtrodden as he had usually appeared after work back when they were still together. He looked more like he had come from a day at summer camp.
“You’re in a good mood,” she commented.
“Of course I am. I’m in the presence of a beautiful woman.”
She smiled and shook her head. The Jon she had fallen in love with and married was back all right. She hadn’t heard his goofy sense of charm in years.
“I’ve missed that,” she dared to confess.
“Missed what?” he asked innocently.
“That,” she laughed.
“Oh, that--” he replied. “I’ve got more. You want to hear them?”
“No, please,” she said, taking a sip of her lemonade. “You don’t want to waste them all on the first date.”
He smiled shyly. “Is that what this is? A date?”
She knew she’d walked right into that one.
Spending an hour with Jon, an hour that reminded her of the good times they had shared, made her think of him often that evening, the next morning, and throughout the following day. She was glad she had made an appointment to meet with Pastor Swan this evening. Things had gone so well last night, she may have decided she didn’t need anyone to offer her wisdom and guidance, but she knew that would be foolish.
She needed the counsel of someone she could trust. Pastor Swan had always been easy for her to approach, and although she felt a bit nervous about telling him what was going on, she knew she needed to.
He greeted her warmly and offered her a chair in his office. She got right to the point, and he listened without interruption. He appeared pleased by her words about Jon wanting to get back together, but also thoughtful.
“So, that’s about all I can tell you,” she finished. “I guess I need some advice. I know we’re still married and his leaving doesn’t release me from my commitment to our marriage, but for the girls’ sake I feel that I need to be cautious.”
“Absolutely,” he replied. “He’s been away a long time, Kathleen, and I don’t think you can be expected to rush back into an overnight reconciliation. I don’t think that’s what is best for either of you. Healing is needed to ensure your future happiness together.”
“Do you think Jon and I need to go through some counseling?”
“That would be wise,” he said. “Do you know if Jon is open to that?”
“I haven’t asked,” she said. “He never wanted to back before we separated and were having problems, but he’s a different man than the one who walked out on me two years ago. He’s more like the eighteen-year-old I married.”
Pastor Swan returned her smile. “Getting married so young is often discouraged in our culture today, but I have to tell you that some of the best weddings I perform involve young couples in love. There’s something refreshing about two people entering into a commitment with such innocence. There’s no doubt in my mind that what you and Jon have is very special.”
Kathleen felt better after talking to someone and drove home with hope in her heart. She agreed with Pastor Swan’s words about young love being special. The last few years had been ugly, but she remembered their time together before that with very fond memories.
CHAPTER FIVE
Jon picked up the phone at nine-thirty and called Katie. He had waited until then to ensure their privacy after Amanda and Jamie were asleep. He liked hearing Katie’s voice so close, and he stretched out on the couch to enjoy what he hoped would be a long, relaxed conversation.
His expectations were surpassed. He had hoped for twenty minutes. He got two hours. If anyone had asked him what they talked about afterwards, he probably couldn’t have told them. His primary goal had been accomplished. He had made her laugh again.
Before letting her go, he asked her to go to the movies with him on Friday night. She said she would try to find a sitter.
With fond memories he recalled the first time he had taken her to the movies, two weeks after the homecoming dance. He didn’t remember what movie they had seen, or what snacks they had eaten, or what she had been wearing, but he had never forgotten the moment he kissed her on the front porch.
He had felt so nervous beforehand and thought he might get sick, but his numb legs had gotten him from his pickup to the door somehow.
“I had a nice time, Kathleen. I hope you did too.”
“I did, Jon. Thank you,” she replied, stopping in front of the welcome mat and turning to face him. She looked so pretty in the lamplight.
“If I ask you out again sometime, will you say yes?”
“That depends on when you ask.”
“How about if I ask right now?”
She laughed and he seized the opportunity, stepping closer and placing one hand under her elbow. When their eyes locked, he leaned down and pressed his lips onto hers. He didn’t expect them to feel so soft.
When he pulled himself away, he waited for her reaction with his heart pounding in his chest. She smiled.
“Good night, Katie,” he said. The name had rolled off his tongue before he could stop himself. Her surprised face lit up with another smile. He had called her Katie ever since.
***
On Thursday evening Kathleen went to Bible study as usual. She had been a part of this group for the last six months that met at Kristin Swan’s duplex. Kristin’s sister Kendra attended regularly, as well as eight other young women. Two of them were newly married, the rest of them single. Kathleen was the only one that was neither, but she never felt any judgment coming from the others. They had welcomed her without asking a lot of questions, and whenever she shared something that pertained to her particular situation, they were always supportive and encouraging.
Besides being the only one who was neither single nor married--in her mind, Kathleen was also the oldest in the group. Kristin was the closest, only a few months younger, and she had known her the best before she had joined the Bible study in September. She also felt that Kristin and herself could relate to each other, having both lost the men they loved.
She and Jon had spent some time together with Kristin and her ex-fiancé, back before Jon had left and when Kristin and Brandon were first dating. When Jon had moved out, Kristin had been there for her many times. Living only a block and a half away had given her easy access to a shoulder to cry on or an emergency baby-sitter if she needed some time to get away.
When Brandon had broken his engagement to Kristin last year, Kathleen had tried to return the favor. Although not best friends, she and Kristin had a special bond, and Kathleen considered telling her about Jon wanting to get back together. She hung around a bit longer than normal to see if she might have a chance, but Kendra stayed after everyone else had gone. Apparently Kristin had some news of her own to share.
“So, what happened after you got your dinner?” Kathleen heard Kendra ask her sister as she emerged from the bedroom with her coat.
Kristin glanced up, and Kathleen felt like she had interrupted a private moment between them. Seeing that it wasn’t likely she would have a chance to talk with Kristin, Kathleen decided she better go. The high-school girl that watched Amanda and Jamie for her on Thursday nights needed to be home by ten.
“Come on, Kathleen. You need to hear this too,” Kendra said, patting the sofa-cushion beside her.
“I should get going,” she replied, putting on her coat and reaching for her Bible.
“Kristin has a new beau,” Kendra tempted her further.
“Kendra!” Kristin gasped. “I do not.”
Kathleen was intrigued and decided to side with Kendra. “Must tell,” she said, flashing the blushing Kristin a mischievous smile.
Kristin sighed. “You two are horrible.”
“Come on,” Kendra coaxed. “What happened?”
“We drove to the park and ate in the car.”
“What time did you get home?” Kendra pried further. Kathleen wondered whom Kristin had been seeing and how long this had been going on. She hadn’t heard Kristin mention anything ab
out it before.
“Six-thirty,” Kristin replied.
Kendra raised her brows like she didn’t believe her sister.
“Six-forty-five,” she conceded. “That’s the truth.”
“Did you invite him in?”
“None of your business,” Kristin said. “No more questions, nosy little sister.”
Kathleen decided to save Kristin from Kendra’s further scrutiny but had to add some of her own. “And whom are we talking about?”
“Jacob,” Kendra blurted. Kristin swatted her on the arm.
Kathleen laughed. She wished she and her own sister had such a close-knit relationship. She and Lisa had never gotten along well, and the gap had widened since she had married Jon. Lisa thought she had been a fool to get married so young and had been quick to tell her ‘I told you so,’ when things had fallen apart. Lisa lived in Seattle with her husband and two kids. They hadn’t spoken since Christmas.
“And just who is this Jacob?”
Kristin offered to let Kendra blab once again, but Kendra allowed Kristin to answer for herself.
“Jacob Young,” she replied.
Kathleen recognized the name immediately.
“As in your boss--the principal of Green Valley?”
“Please don’t tell anyone,” Kristin added. “I don’t want this getting around the grapevine.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Kathleen promised.
When it was clear Kristin wasn’t giving anything else away, Kathleen told them good-night and said she would see Kendra tomorrow. She was coming to baby-sit while she and Jon went out on their date to the movies.
On her way home, Kathleen found it odd that she was happy for Kristin and thought it was good for her to be moving on with someone else, when she herself had no desire to be with anyone besides Jon.
Bring Me Flowers (Garden of Love 5) Page 25
