by Gemma Brooks
I smiled and placed my hands on my hips.
“You look so…different,” she said as she stared.
“New clothes,” I said. “You like them?”
“No, it’s not that,” she said. “You look so…skeletal.”
“I’ve just been eating healthier out there,” I lied. “Everything is organic this and free range that.”
She pursed her lips in disbelief, but I refused to elaborate beyond the explanation I’d already given her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her. I hated that she wasn’t excited to see me.
“Nothing,” she said. “Just wasn’t expecting to see you today.”
She kept staring at me with a blank expression, and it was starting to bother me more and more.
“Can I order a drink and stay for a while?” I asked with a smile. I just wanted things to be like old times.
“The usual?” she asked as she grabbed a clear plastic cup.
“Actually, just a small iced coffee with skim milk and sugar free vanilla syrup,” I said.
She stared at me like I was speaking a foreign language for a few seconds before she began preparing my drink. I’d given up the full fat, full whip, sugar-laced drinks weeks ago.
She sat the drink in front of me with a straw and watched me carefully as I took small sips.
“Your face,” she said. “It’s so gaunt. It looks so different. You look like a completely different person, Brynn.”
She shook her head. Piper clearly disapproved of my new look.
“I’m just getting healthier, Piper,” I retorted. “I’m sorry you don’t like that.”
She shrugged. “Just concerned. That’s all. Did Hudson want you to lose weight?”
“No!” I snapped. “He has nothing to do with any of this.”
“People don’t just drop all that weight like that,” she said. “I don’t think you realize how dramatic of a weight loss you have. You weren’t that big to begin with.”
I shrugged. “I know one thing, the tabloids have stopped calling me Hudson’s fat ass, corn fed mystery girl.”
I laughed as I sipped my drink, but Piper apparently didn’t think it was funny.
“The comments are not nearly as mean,” I said. “Not anymore. That’s for sure.”
“Your hair. It’s different too,” she said as she reached across and ran her fingers through a few strands. “It’s lighter. Softer.”
“Thanks,” I said. “If you come out to LA sometime, I’ll take you to Hudson’s people. He hooked me up.”
“So Hudson gave you this makeover?” she asked.
“No, no,” I reiterated. “After the whole tabloid thing a few weeks ago, I told him I didn’t feel like I fit in. He introduced me to his stylist and some hair and makeup people and they gave me a tiny little makeover.”
“So Hudson did give you this makeover,” she stated again.
“Whatever, Piper,” I said with a sigh. She was really starting to get on my nerves. I couldn’t fathom why she’d be so offended by my transformation. I was pretty proud of the way I looked personally. “So how’s Luke?”
“Fine, I guess?” Piper asked. Her words stung. “Why do you care? He finally admitted he liked you and you didn’t even respond.”
“I care because I care,” I snipped. “I don’t have to have a reason.”
“He’s doing okay,” she said. “He mostly works in the fields all day and goes to the bars at night.”
My face cringed. “Sounds pretty pathetic.”
“He’s still hurting, Brynn,” she said. “What happened last month, I don’t think he ever saw that coming.”
“Of course not,” I said. “Neither did I. No one could’ve predicted that.”
“Are you going to leave him alone while you’re here?” she asked.
I crinkled my nose at her funny question. “Why would you ask that?”
“It would just really upset him to see you now,” she said as her eyes shifted down. “To see you looking so…different.”
“I kind of did want to see him while I was here,” I said.
“But why?” Piper asked. “Haven’t you hurt him enough? Leave the poor guy alone.”
I wanted to ask her whose side she was on, but I was afraid of her answer.
“He was my best friend for a long time. I miss him. I still want him in my life,” I said.
Piper stopped what she was doing and looked up, her big, blue eyes locked with mine and the most serious expression covered her face.
“Maybe he doesn’t want that,” she said. “Maybe he’s written you off.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I said. “It’s not my fault Luke couldn’t have forgiven me any sooner. He waited until it was too late.”
“So he forgave you?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I mean, he said he still loved me. I guess I assumed he forgave me too? That’s kind of why I want to see him. I want to clear the air. Leave things on good terms. See if we can still be in each other’s lives.”
“So you have someone to come back to when it doesn’t work out with Hudson,” she snorted.
“That’s harsh, Piper,” I said.
She couldn’t even look at me.
“I should get going,” I said. “I’m only in town until Sunday.”
I slid off the counter stool and clicked my little kitten heels on out of the coffee shop. I didn’t know what her problem was, but I knew I didn’t have to put up with it for another second.
CHAPTER 11
I walked into the Manhattan bar that Friday night dressed to the nines. My skinny jeans hugged every little curve I had left, and I wore the lowest cut, shimmery tank top and the tallest high heels I could find.
It wasn’t that I wanted start anything with Luke, I just wanted his attention. I wanted him to talk to me. I wanted to see if we could still be friends. And I wanted him to be sorry he waited until it was too late before admitting how he felt about me.
I stepped into the tiny bar as the speakers blared in my ear with country music and the familiar faces of locals all turned towards me wondering who the hell I was. I knew I didn’t look like I was from Rock River anymore, but I didn’t care.
Perched on a bar stool sat Luke. He was handsome and strapping in his green plaid shirt and dusty blue jeans as he sipped a frosty mug of beer. I watched as he turned towards me, looked me up and down, and then turned back away. I knew he knew it was me.
“Whoo hoo!” I heard a man yell.
Another man whistled.
“Who do we have here?” a third man called out. “Miss Hollywood? Aren’t you that girl who ran off with the actor?”
My cheeks blushed, though thankfully it was so dark in there no one could tell. I ignored their cat calls as best I could. My eyes focused on Luke as I approached the far end of the bar and ordered a bottle of beer. I just wanted to fit in again. I just wanted to feel like I was welcome back home still.
With my beer in hand, I mustered up the courage to approach Luke. It was such an odd sensation to be afraid to talk to him. He’d been in my life for as long as I could remember. And a month ago, I would’ve said he was my world. Now the thought of talking to him nearly gave me a panic attack.
“Luke,” I said as my heart pounded in my ears. “Hi.”
He turned towards me, looked me up and down again, and then turned back away on his stool. Just like that, he rebuffed me.
“It’s Brynn,” I said. Maybe he didn’t recognize me?
“I know,” he said as he took a sip from his mug, still giving me the cold shoulder.
“How are you?” I asked. Maybe if I pretended nothing was wrong, he’d warm up to me?
He ignored me. It was quite obvious that it was intentional too. I slammed my brown bottle of beer on the counter next to him and hightailed it out of there. I wasn’t going to put up with that from Piper, and I certainly wasn’t going to put up with that from Luke. I never realized what fair weather friends I had until
then.
As my heels struggled to carry me across the gravel parking lot, I couldn’t get to my car fast enough. I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to forget about Luke and Piper for a second. I wanted to go back to L.A. I wanted to see Hudson.
“Brynn!” I heard a man call out behind me.
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned my head to see Luke standing with his hands in his pockets by the door of the bar.
My shoulders fell as I stood frozen. I wasn’t going to walk back over to him. He could come to me if he wanted to talk. I said nothing.
His boots scuffed the gravel beneath him as he walked towards me. Cars whirred past us on the highway.
“What did you want tonight?” he asked. “Why did you come here?”
“I don’t know, Luke,” I said as my arms dropped to my side. “I guess I just think it’s weird that we’re not in each other’s lives anymore.”
“That’s not my fault,” he said with a cocky shrug.
My mouth dropped.
“I’ll admit that I left town,” I said. “But you’re the one who waited until I was already gone to tell me how you felt.”
“And you didn’t even respond!” he yelled, his hands waving in the air above him. “How do you think that made me feel?”
“You shouldn’t have waited so long,” I said. “Luke, I’ve loved you for years! And I know you knew. And now it’s too late.”
“Yeah,” he said. “You’re right. Now it’s too late.”
“Everything okay out here?” a bar patron on his way inside asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Everything’s fine.”
Luke and I were a good ten feet apart. I knew we weren’t getting any closer than that.
“I need to get going,” I said to Luke as I accepted the fact that this wasn’t going anywhere.
He pinched his face as he spun around on his heel and headed back inside. He wasn’t going to try to stop me.
I climbed in my car and tried to fight the tears from falling. I was happy with Hudson, but I also didn’t understand why Luke and I couldn’t still be friends. I didn’t understand why Piper suddenly resented me. Rock River wasn’t the same Rock River it was a month ago. Either I had changed too much or everyone else had. I wasn’t quite sure.
I headed over to my mom’s house to check on her. When I walked in, I noticed the place was unusually clean. The lingering cat odor was almost eliminated, and there were only a few beer bottles along the sink instead of twenty.
“Mom?” I called out.
“In here,” she replied. “Brynn!”
She climbed up off the couch and ran to me.
“Oh, my goodness!” she said as she wrapped her arms around me. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve only been away a few weeks,” I said.
“You’ve never been away this long before,” she said. “And look at you.”
She grabbed my bony wrist and examined it.
“You’re so skinny,” she said as she stared at me with wrinkled, concerned eyes. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t smell like booze.
“Look at you!” I said with a smile. “You look great. The place is clean. What happened? What changed?”
A coy smile flashed across her mouth as she shrugged her shoulders and turned to her left.
“Tom,” she called out. “Come out here. I want you to meet my daughter, Brynn.”
“You met a man?” I asked. Now it was all making sense. She would never clean up her act for me, despite my begging and pleading with her for the past fifteen years, but now that she’d met someone, she had all the motivation she needed.
A man came out of the back bedroom, buckling his pants, and straightening his shirt. He was a little plump with balding grayish-blond hair, and squinty blue eyes. He looked the way my dad probably would’ve looked had he lived to be this old.
He walked up to me and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Brynn. Your mother speaks very highly of you.”
“Thanks,” I said. I had to admit I was a little leery of him, but then I remembered my mom had pretty much nothing to her name except her little two bedroom house. He couldn’t have been after her for money or anything like that. I told myself to cut him some slack. He’d made her sober up for God’s sake. He shouldn’t been awarded a medal.
We stood awkwardly in the living room as my mom and Tom made googly eyes at each other and held hands. She hadn’t dated anyone since right after my dad died when she dated a string of losers upon losers before vowing to give up men altogether and devoting herself to a life of factory work and booze.
“Well, I just wanted to check on you, Mom,” I said. “I’m in town until Sunday, then I go back to L.A.”
“Oh, so soon?” she said with a disappointed frown.
“Yeah,” I said. “Hudson’s pretty great to me, Mom. I hope you can meet him someday.”
“I’d love that,” she said as she squeezed my hand.
I headed back outside and climbed into my car. Piper had changed, Luke had changed, and now my mom had changed. It was like I came back to a completely foreign place. It sure didn’t feel like home anymore.
CHAPTER 12
The second I walked into my apartment to retire for the evening, I took great relief in seeing that everything was exactly how I’d left it. It was still my sanctuary. It was still my sacred space. I’d missed my bed. My music collection. My movies. My own, private bathroom with all of my things.
I changed into some ratty, old pajamas, relieved that I didn’t have to worry about looking sexy for bed, and pulled out my phone to call Hudson. I missed him so much. I was craving his voice and his way with words. I knew he’d make me feel instantly better.
I dialed his number and waited for him to answer. It was eleven New York time, and I hoped he’d still be awake. The phone rang. And rang. And rang some more. He wasn’t answering. Soon his voicemail picked up.
“That’s odd,” I said. I tried calling him a second time. Same thing.
I refused to let my poor, exhausted mind wander any longer or assume the worst. I knew he had early interviews with various media outlets Saturday morning and a full day of shoots and press junkets. He had probably gone to bed early.
I climbed into my cozy bed with my faded comforter and shut my eyes. Within seconds, I was out.
I was startled awake the next morning by a Google Alerts message on my phone. Like an idiot, I’d secretly subscribed to get alerts anytime I was mentioned in the media. Someone had figured out my name a couple weeks ago, so I was no longer called “Hudson Smith’s Mystery Girl”.
The first headline that popped up said “Hudson Smith Dumps Brynn Dawson”. My heart fell to the floor. I could feel vomit rising in my throat. The walls seemed to be closing in and closing in fast.
I clicked on the article and saw a photo of Hudson with a tall, leggy blonde with blue eyes, but it wasn’t Ava Fox. The caption said, “Hudson Smith Steps Out with Hadley Tennyson Parker.” According to the article, the picture was taken Friday night and Hadley was a former beauty queen turned newly divorced ex-wife to some music mogul. She was gorgeous to say the least.
My eyes began to well up as hot tears stained my cheeks and fell onto my lap. I couldn’t believe it. He was away for me for one day and he had already found someone else. My throat felt like it was going to swell up. I couldn’t breathe. I had to talk to him. I had to get an explanation. There had to be a perfectly logical explanation for all of this, I just knew it.
My hands trembled as I dialed his number and waited for him to answer.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he picked up in the middle of the first ring.
“Don’t,” I said.
“Huh?” he was confused.
“Why the fuck were you with Hadley Tennyson Parker last night?” I asked. “There are pictures all over online of the two of you walking the streets of Manhattan arm in arm.”
He started laughing.
“This is not a laughing matter
, Hudson,” I said as my voice shook. I didn’t want him to hear me cry, but I was on the verge of sobbing.
“Hadley is an old friend of mine,” he said. “I swear to you, Brynn.”
“Sounds a little convenient,” I said. “Is that why you were walking so close? Huh? Is that why you couldn’t take my call last night?”
