by Ryan Michele
I just need to clear my head of everything warring inside of it. Then maybe I’ll be able to find some calm.
“Need to. Tonight.”
“You want to talk about it?” she asks.
“Not now.”
She turns back toward the window. I can see that I’ve let her down by not talking to her, but I’m just not there.
The meeting takes all of ten minutes. I tell the man I’ll do the fight for free. The way Rylie sounded, the man was afraid of the club coming into play, but he didn’t have any qualms after the word free came from my lips.
Rylie tapes me up as the crowd goes wild. They don’t know me, but some obviously remember me from the other night. Fine by me.
The guy is about the same size as me, with fire breathing in his eyes. It doesn’t matter, because I don’t see him after the bell goes off. Instead, a red haze fills my vision, and I let loose.
Chapter Sixteen
I can’t help watching, my eyes glued to the cage and not the crowd for once.
Blow after blow, Deke demonstrates how much power is inside of him. Meanwhile, all his opponent can do is try to fight back, giving Deke a dance that he pummels through, not once missing a beat. By the look in his eye and his cocky smirk, this is exactly what Deke wants from him.
The two men go at it hard. Deke has blood coming from his head and lip, but he doesn’t stop. It’s as if something breaks inside of Deke as he unleashes, and everything before this moment was just for play.
The power he had before is more now. A lot more. Blow after blow, the man is unable to block. Shots to the temple, and repeat. Deke is like a machine.
The guy falls to the ground hard, hitting his head, but Deke doesn’t stop. His rage continues to burn. It’s not until the “ref” calls it when the other man passes out that Deke pulls away. His breathing is heavy, and it’s sexy as all hell.
I’m a bit worried about him. Whatever happened today, it sent him somewhere deep within himself.
I don’t fear him. I just worry.
Deke climbs out of the cage, his intense gaze coming to me. He wraps his arm around my neck, then pulls me through the crowd, his sweaty body next to mine. I follow, knowing I’m working, but not giving a shit. Whatever’s going on with him is deep, and he obviously needs me.
Then Deke stills, halting our steps. I look up at him and see he’s staring into the crowd, eyes cut into slits. Following his gaze, I see a man with longish black hair, rimmed glasses, and a lean build. He raises his can of beer to Deke like he knows him, then takes a drink.
Deke becomes unstuck and pushes our way through the crowd and out of the building to the truck.
“Get in,” he orders.
“Deke, I’m working.”
“Don’t give a fuck. You’re not stayin’ there.”
“Why?”
“Just get in the truck. I’ll explain later.”
Schade’s going to be pissed at me, but I climb into the truck. Then Deke takes off like a shot.
We pull up to his apartment and move inside quickly. I’ve never been the woman who follows a man. Except, with Deke, there has never been a single moment when I didn’t feel like I couldn’t go into the depths of Hell safely beside him. It’s scary, yet it’s this connection that has me craving more.
“Give me a few,” he says before moving out of the room. Then I hear the shower turn on.
Today has seriously been interesting with Deke.
He only has a chair so far, so I plop my ass in it and wait.
He comes out with a towel wrapped around his sexy as fuck body, water still beading off him. His hair is a wet mess on top of his head, completing the gorgeous look.
Fuck. No man should be that hot.
Controlling myself, I ask, “Feel better?”
“The guy at the back with the dark hair? Know you saw him. He come there a lot?”
“Nope. First time I’ve ever seen him.”
“Fuck.” He runs his hands through his hair, water splashing to the carpet.
“Who is he, and how do you know him?”
He moves to me, lifts me, then sets me down on his lap. The back of my clothes get wet from him. My only wish is it would cool my libido down, but it doesn’t.
“Long fuckin’ story. Just stay away from him.”
“Deke, please talk to me.”
He wraps his arms around my body, and we sit there for a while, my head resting on his wet chest, his chin on top of my hair. His heartbeat is calm, helping to do the same for me.
“It’s just a ghost coming back from the past.”
I so badly want him to open up to me. He has no idea how much I want this. He says nothing, though, just holds me in his arms. Time seems to tick by in slow motion. Then, he finally speaks.
“When I was sixteen, I got hooked on heroin.”
I say nothing. If he’s going to share, I’m not fucking that up. We all have ghosts of our past, and he’s not on the stuff anymore, so he kicked it somehow. This is a good thing.
“The guy you saw tonight is a dealer, high up on the food chain. My dealer, he’s pissed I’m back home because I’m not supposed to be.” His head falls back to the cushion of the chair. “I shoulda kept a lower profile.”
“Are you scared of him?”
“Me, no. What he can do to people I give a shit about, fuck yeah.”
I lift my head. “You’re gonna have to help me out here, Deke. Trying to get all of this, but you’re gonna need to spell this out more.”
“Fuck, Ry. I should just take you home.”
The words settle like a rock in my gut because there’s a finality to them. One I don’t like one damn bit. He’s pushing me away, not letting me in. Maybe he thinks he’s going to protect me, but I’m in this shit. There’s no going back. Furthermore, I don’t want out. I care for this man, and he needs a place to release all this shit he’s carrying around.
“No. Talk to me. He already saw us together. There’s no going back from that.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “Fuck.”
At least he gets where I’m coming from. If that asshole is dangerous, I need the information. He saw Deke and me tonight. If he’s there for Deke, then he could use me to get to him. The way of the world is fucked up, but I’m not a dumb bitch.
He’s quiet, and it drags on for a while.
I lift up and see his face is pained, like he’s reliving a part of his life that he never wanted to. One that made him into the man he is today. Not that it’s bad, but whatever it is, pains him horribly.
He presses my head back down to his chest, resting his chin on top of it. “After my second stint in rehab, I was clean for a week.”
I try my damnedest to keep my breathing steady, both happy and unsure about what I’m going to hear, but knowing it’s heavy as hell.
“Went out with my guys. While I was there, I saw JK kill a kid about seventeen-years-old. He saw me, caught me, beat me, and drugged me. Threatened to hook Emery, Austyn, and Nox on the shit. Make it stronger for them. Force it on them if he had to. Told me the only reason he wasn’t killin’ me was because of my father. Knew who he was, what he stood for. Said when I was eighteen, I had to get the hell out of Sumner or he’d fuck with all of them. I disappear, he’d stay away.”
There are a lot of questions I have about this scenario, so when he doesn’t continue, I nail him with one.
“Why didn’t you go to your father?”
He gives a slight chuckle, but there’s no humor in it. “Tried. Old man wouldn’t listen. Told me I was worthless. He and I have a lot of bad blood, and it’s never been cleaned. He doesn’t want it to be. I had a few months before I turned eighteen. I went to my aunt Princess, had her start to train me. Went to Charlie’s. Started there every day and bided my time.”
“How did you know this JK guy’d follow through? I mean, not give your sister anything.”
He sighs. “Didn’t, but I was young, a fuckin’ addict, and knew if I didn�
�t leave, he’d find me and fill me up with the drug again, because the best way to keep me doin’ what he wanted while I was in Sumner was to keep me doped up. Knew he didn’t want me around because I was a witness. Somethin’ told me he wouldn’t fuck with Emery, Austyn, and Nox because that would be too coincidental in life—all four of us gettin’ hooked on the same shit. Would put him under radar. Ravage’s radar is the last place he wants to be.”
My brain works overtime with the pieces of the puzzle.
“You don’t think the MC went looking for this guy?”
“Don’t know. Never asked because I was gone. Started a new life. By the time I got my head sorted, there was no reason for me to come back.”
“How do you know they didn’t?”
“Talked to my sister a lot. Knew everyone was good because she woulda told me that shit right out. Kept tabs, but didn’t keep tabs.”
“So, you left to protect them?”
He breathes in deep and lets it out. “That was my thoughts then.”
“And now?”
“Fuck if I know. Part of me is pissed at myself for not making my father listen to me or going to Cruz. But I can’t go back in time, and I can’t change shit.”
I shift a bit in his hold. “Why do you think he was there tonight?”
“Warning.”
Raising up, I look in his eyes. “He must have a death wish. The man I saw in the ring tonight will wipe the floor with him.”
He gives me a squeeze. “I can and will. It’s the unknown, and he is an unknown. He goes near anyone I care about, I’ll destroy him.”
My heart is running a damn marathon, trying to get out of my chest. I understand now what this man has been through for the past few years. I break for him, knowing what he gave up—the family that he obviously cares for deeply, and a mother who always had his back.
Time is something we can never get back. No matter what bargains we try to make, once time is gone … it’s gone.
Deke missed years with his mother, sister, and family. From the pain in his eyes, he knows it now. With his momma sick and sister home, I have no doubt that Deke will take care of this JK.
To leave everything you know, thinking you’re protecting the ones you care about, takes a strong man. He wasn’t really a man then, but his actions were of one. Sometimes in life, we have to grow up faster than we ever wanted to. Deke did it his way. I did it mine. It’s like two vines that grew and finally met.
I’m angry with his father. I don’t really know the man, have only met him a couple of times, but I did see the scene play out with Deke. That man has no idea what he did—the consequences of his actions that spun his son out and forced him to leave with no other option.
Deke’s right; he should have gone to Cruz and told him exactly what was happening. Not only that, those men would’ve protected the kids in that club. I’ve seen them with the younger ones. They are fierce. Hell, the way Princess was with Austyn—fierce.
I know what it feels like to not have a choice. I didn’t have one when my parents were taken from me. One day my life was great. The next, gone.
My one wish is that Deke’s father sees the error of his ways before it’s too late. I doubt, even now, Deke will go to GT and talk to him. That bridge has been burned, and building it back up is a job that I’m sure won’t come easy.
“What’s the plan?”
He lets out a heavy breath, causing both of our bodies to move with it. “Cooper. He came to me the other day, wanting to talk. I’ll lay this shit on him.”
“Are you tight with him?”
“Was … at one time. We have stuff to work out, but he’ll listen, and he’ll take it in. I’ll take out JK if I need to, but having Coop at my back will be better than going at it alone.”
This, I’m happy for. Deke can handle himself, but this man is dangerous on many levels. Deke said he was a big player back when he was hooked on the stuff. There’s no doubt he’s even higher up now, because that’s what these assholes do—keep moving up until they control pretty much everything around them.
I have a couple of guys who owe me. It’s time to call in that marker for information on JK.
“What can I do for you?”
His arms tighten around me, and his cock stirs under my thigh. Deke’s mouth comes to my neck. “I’ve got somethin’ you can do.”
Deke lifts me as if I weigh nothing, and then my back hits the floor. He comes down on me, but veers away from my lips, attacking my neck with a vengeance. He grips my ass hard.
With my neck arched, he has better access and takes advantage of it, his teeth nipping, lips sucking. He finds the place right below my ear and spends his time there, all the while my body catches fire and I grind my hips against his hard length.
I reach down to his ass, pushing the towel the rest of the way off of him. In this moment, I wish I had razors for nails so I could sheer my clothes off and have skin to skin contact with him.
His hand now at my breast, he finds my nipple through the fabric, giving it a pinch then a rub. My back arches off the bed, and a soft cry leaves my lips.
I push on his chest hard, garnering his attention. “Back,” I order, to which he chuckles.
“You seem to forget who’s in charge here.”
I narrow my passion-filled eyes. “Back, now.”
On a smile, he rolls us over, and I make quick work of removing my clothes.
Straddling him, his hard body beneath me, I dampen. He is absolutely the most gorgeous man I’ve ever had the pleasure of having under me, on me, or in me.
I slink up his body, his hands on my hips, as I leave kisses along his chest and neck before hitting his lips.
“Time for me to ride,” I taunt.
His crystal blue eyes penetrate me. “Get to it.” He reaches over to the table, grabs a condom, and hands it to me.
Moving down his body, I take his cock in my mouth, wrapping him up tight and giving a suck. His hips jerk and hands come to my hair. I take him in deeper, emitting a deep, guttural groan from him. Only then do I lift off and wrap him in the rubber.
Back to straddling him, his cock needs no coaxing as I make my way down and he plants himself deeply inside me. Taking a moment to just feel his hardness inside of me, I close my eyes and stick it to memory. This feeling. This connection. This … everything.
He grips my hips hard, pulling me back to him.
“Baby, ride my cock,” he orders.
On a sexy smile, I comply, using my thigh muscles to lift and lower repeatedly. The pressure inside builds. My hands unconsciously find my tits, squeezing them and pulling at the nipples, adding to the sensations already building inside me.
Deke’s hips buck up, meeting mine, pressing his cock deeper and hitting inside of me hard. I cry out from the surprise of how far he can reach.
He pulls me down to him, wrapping his arms around my back and stilling my movements. Then he bends his knees, feet to the bed, and his hips take over, fast, hard, and desperate.
I can’t move. I can only take what he gives me as he repeatedly thrusts into my body. Each scrape sends me higher and higher until the white rush of the orgasm has me screaming into his neck as a rush filters through every part of my body, including my toes.
Deke doesn’t let me come down. Instead, he flips us and fucks me until I can’t move, my limbs and arms feeling like sated jelly.
When he comes, his body strains on a grunt, all his muscles growing taut. He closes his eyes and swings his head back in the sexiest way. Gasping, he then falls off to the side of me, pulling me to him. I curl up, resting my head on his heaving chest.
“Fuck, you’re amazing.”
To this, I smile.
Chapter Seventeen
Mom’s face is sunken in, and she has deep bags under her eyes. Her face is so pale, ridding me of the sunshine that she always gives. She sips the soup with trembling hands from a coffee cup. She had chemo today. A drug they put in one’s body that’s more toxic tha
n the cancer trying to take over her. But they need something strong to kick it, and this time, the drugs are hitting hard.
The first round she went through didn’t have this effect on her. The doctors said that would happen. It doesn’t mean I have to like it.
This second round is taking its toll. These past few weeks have been up and down, and I hate this for her.
Her blonde hair is falling out—her reminder she’s fighting to stay here for my sister and myself.
We’ve taken turns sitting with her, but I’ve taken over for my sister many times because she loses her battle on fighting back the sadness and tears. I get it, and I do it without her asking.
My father is a fucking mess. Not only am I in his house, but the love of his life is battling something he has no control over. One of the traits I got from him—the control—except mine came a little later in life.
“How’s your woman?” my mother asks, setting down the mug like it’s a lead weight, too heavy to hold a second longer.
“Good, Ma.”
When she shifts on the bed, I dart up, removing the tray that was holding her food and setting it on the dresser.
“She good for you?”
In a way I didn’t even know was possible.
If I never came back to this place, I wouldn’t have landed in a bed next to a fucking bombshell like her. It’s not just looks, either. It’s her. Every damn thing about her. She listens when I need to talk. Talks when I need her to bounce me out of the thoughts in my head. She’s strong as all hell and can hold her own. The only thing I’ve noticed about her that even slightly irks me is she shifts a lot in bed. Once I learned that pinning her down with my body stops that, there hasn’t been any problems.
Hell, me laying all that shit on her, spilling my fucking guts wide open for her, she took it, held it, and let me keep going. Then she fucking asked me what she could do for me. Giving her my past, letting her have that, I knew in my gut she could take it. She didn’t cower away when I told her I watched someone get murdered, because she’s a woman who can hack it.
