I clean myself up and get dressed then grab her duvet and place it over her. “Where are you going?” she whispers.
I feel like shit right now, I should be holding her and telling her how amazing she is. Instead I’m distancing us. I need time to think.
“I’m going to sleep in the car,” I answer without looking at her face, turning to leave again.
“Rita was right,” she mutters.
“What?” I ask, confused.
“She said you would get what you want and leave me to pick up the pieces. I should have listened.” Her last few words are wobbly and she turns away from me.
“That’s what you think?” I question defensively.
She doesn’t answer, but I can see her shoulders shaking and I know she’s crying.
“You lied to me,” I finally say. “You were a virgin, SJ.”
“I never lied about that. I tried to tell you so many times, but you just kept telling me I didn’t need to explain!” she shouts. “I thought you understood when I said I haven’t... you know?”
“I thought you were saying you hadn’t had sex since having the twins,” I reply. “Whose children are they anyway?”
“Mine,” she says fiercely. “I’m hoping to fully adopt them.”
“What agency in their right mind allows a sixteen year old to care for two babies?”
“I didn’t go through an agency. We were split up when the child protection services took us from the streets. I spent two agonizing months away from them and as soon as I turned eighteen, I applied for guardianship. I’m their legal guardian.”
“Where’s their mom?” I ask and she shrugs as if it’s an irrelevant question.
“What about their dad?” I argue.
“Our dad is an abusive alcoholic. I told you that.”
“No, you told me their dad was. You told me your dad was a capo in the New Jersey crime family.”
“Ken is my dad too, he raised me from a small child.”
“So they’re your half brother and sister?” I ask and she nods as confirmation. “Why didn’t you tell me this? You told me they were your children. They call you Mom.”
“I told you it was too dangerous.”
“How? How is it too dangerous to tell me?”
“Because if Ken finds them, who knows what will happen. He already lost our home and he loses his shit when he’s drunk.”
“Did he ever hurt you?” I ask.
“Why does that even matter?”
“I need to think and to process this,” I say, leaving the apartment quickly.
I head down the stairs and climb into my car. I sit in the front seat, not ready to lie down and sleep. My mind is working overtime, thoughts and questions filling up the space. What else has she lied about?
I’m staring out the window into thin air, when I catch something out of the corner of my eye. SJ has just run out of the building and straight to her car. I look at the clock on my dashboard and see it’s just after one in the morning. It’s been almost two hours since I left her place.
“Where are you going?” I mumble to myself as I start my car and head off after her.
I stay at least one car behind her so she doesn’t know I’m following her. I don’t want to freak her out. What the hell is she doing out at this time and where are the children? I follow her through to Kenilworth and a pit forms in my stomach, which only gets worse when she pulls up to Jake’s bar.
Jake is a soldier with the Guena Crime family that works out of Maryland. They’re trying to work their way into D.C territory that the Decavalcante family has already started to takeover. Logan mentioned to me before that both families were at war with each other over territory, causing the commission and the five families to step in. If SJ is really the daughter of one of the Decavalcante capos and Jake is aware of it, SJ could be in some serious trouble.
Chapter 13
I really could have done without this tonight. I was quite happy licking my wounds after Caleb practically sprinted out of my apartment. I park at Jake’s and take a few deep breaths, preparing myself to enter. I’m extremely sore between my legs. It’s true what they say—the first time is extremely painful. I don’t have a clue how I’m going to face Caleb tomorrow. It was so humiliating watching him walk away from me like I’d betrayed him somehow. I guess I kind of had. I should have told him the truth straight away. He said he would help me and protect me, I should have trusted him and told him about the twins. I’m sitting here trying to find the bravery to enter the bar, but I have this really eerie feeling that I’m being followed. As I check the rear view mirror for the billionth time, I know that it was probably just wishful thinking. Fear settles over me as I exit the car. I’m wondering how the hell I’m going to get Ken out of this one without Jake wanting his method of payment. Caleb isn’t coming to save you this time.
I walk in and see Jake straight away leaning casually up against the bar, grinning nefariously.
“Sarah-Jayne, we have to stop meeting like this,” he says, pushing himself off the bar and steps toward me.
“Jake, please,” I say, not really sure what I’m asking for.
“We had a deal Sarah-Jayne. I believe it’s time for me to collect.”
I ignore him and look around, finding Ken slumped against a broken barstool and rush over to him.
“Why are you here?” I ask desperately.
“You lied to me, SJ,” he grumbles his reply, his eyes still closed. “You hid the twins from me. You took my children.”
“How do you know that?” I ask in shock.
“The whore told me, actually she took great pleasure in telling me. Why, SJ?”
“Because you’re a drunk,” I answer honestly. “You promised me, Ken. You said you’d stay away. How are you even affording to drink like this?” He doesn’t answer just slumps to the side, back into his drunken stupor.
“I let him open a tab,” Jake says from behind me.
“You don’t do tabs,” I reply.
“I made an exception for him,” he replies. “He had no money and I couldn’t lose such a special and loyal customer now, could I?”
“You did this on purpose?” I ask in disbelief.
“It was like offering him a free bar, knowing you would be the one to pay for it.” He laughs, a roaring demeaning laugh, letting me know I’ve stupidly walked straight into a trap.
“All I’ve thought about is that virgin pussy of yours and how much I can’t wait to take it,” he practically groans.
“That’s a shame,” I grin, loving the fact that I’m about to get one up on him, “since it’s not a virgin pussy anymore.”
My grin is rapidly wiped from my face by the force of Jake’s blow. I didn’t even see it coming. I hit the ground and just as quickly, I’m pulled back up by my hair. I don’t have a chance to focus on anything before I’m swung around and body slammed on my front onto the table, the wind literally being knocked out of me by a blow to the ribs.
“You better tell me right now you were lying or you and I are going to have a problem Sarah-Jayne,” he growls in my ear.
“I was lying!” I scream as loud as my tear-clogged throat will allow.
“Let’s check shall we and if I find out you just lied to me, you’re going to wish you’d kept you legs shut,” he says through gritted teeth.
I’m too confused and dazed to even work out what he just said, but I’m fully aware of the hand making its way underneath me and into the front of my pants.
“No, please don’t, please,” I beg and struggle in his hold. I’ll rip the hair out of my head before I let him touch me there. “Don’t! Please stop,” I cry out as his fingers probes my entrance.
“Tut, tut, tut, Sarah-Jayne, you’re a filthy whore just like your mother.”
“No!” I grunt.
“Did you even shower after you let that man near you? You reek of sex and come.”
The humiliation is too much, the pain becoming unbearable. “Please,” I be
g again.
“What was that? ‘Please fuck me in my virgin asshole, Jake.’ Of course I can Sarah-Jayne,” he mocks me, laughing as I fight against him.
We’re both startled by a loud bang. I feel Jake’s hand move between my ass and his stomach and I can’t stop the whimper that leaves my mouths.
“Turn around and get the fuck out,” Jake snarls. I hear the cocking of a gun and then feel the cold metal against my temple, tearing another whimper from me.
“You don’t want to do that, Jake,” a familiar voice replies calmly and confidently. Caleb.
“And what would you know, Slate?” Jake responds with not a hint of fear.
“I know that if you kill her, you’ll be signing your own death warrant,” Caleb says unperturbed. What is he talking about?
It’s silent for a long time before Jake speaks up, “You’re a little more informed than you should be for someone not in the business.”
“Or maybe I’m just smart enough to be kept up to date on territory disputes,” Caleb answers.
“She owes me money and that has nothing to do with you.”
“I love her, so it has everything to do with me.” My heart soars at Caleb’s words.
I yelp as I’m lifted from the table by my hair, making eye contact with Caleb. They’re as cold as ice until sees me, pain fills them instantly and he deflates in front of me.
“I’ll make the payment Jake, just let her go,” Caleb says calmly.
“You see, I don’t want a monetary payment—I need to send a message,” Jake replies as if he’s weighing up his options.
“A hundred grand,” Caleb says.
“I don’t need money Slate. I need to let people know not to fuck with me.”
“Even you’re not this stupid, Jake. You know what will happen if you kill her.”
There’s silence again before Jake finally speaks, his words chilling me to the bone. “I have to kill someone.”
Quicker than Caleb or I can react, I’m dragged from the table to face Ken’s direction.
“No!” I scream but my voice is drowned out by the sound of a gun firing. My ears are ringing and my throat is pulling painfully. My eyes are still firmly shut—I can’t bear to look. I feel like I’m flying and everything feels like a dream until I land and my illusion shatters. Jake still has me by the hair and we’re lying on the floor. Caleb is on top of him, prying the gun from his hands before hitting him over the head with it. Jake’s head flops to the ground and his hand loosening its grip in my hair. Caleb moves like lightening toward me, picking me up and burying my face in his chest.
“Shush now. I’ve got you. You’re safe now,” he lulls in my ear.
“Ken!” I cry. “We need to help Ken.”
“No, baby, we can’t,” he replies and I know by his solemn tone, Ken is dead. “We need to get out of here.”
Caleb places me gently in the passenger seat of his car, reaching across me to strap the seatbelt in. I don’t say a word—I have no words to say.
“I’m not going to press you right now, but you will need to tell me everything,” he says softly, I suppose as to not frighten me.
We drive home in silence and I can’t seem to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks. How the hell am I going to tell the twins that I’m the reason they will never know their dad? If I hadn’t of kept the twins from him, maybe he would have stopped going to Jake’s and maybe he would have gotten sober.
“This isn’t your fault,” Caleb says as if reading my mind. We’ve pulled up outside my apartment and he’s turned in his seat to face me fully.
“You don’t know that,” I reply quietly.
“Yes, I do, SJ,” he says adamantly. “Tonight was not your fault.”
“Ken was only drinking because he thought he lost the twins, if he knew where they were—”
“Stop! Ken drank because he was an alcoholic. You gave up your life for your brother and sister, they couldn’t have been that important to him if he kept drinking.”
“What a horrible thing—”
“No, it’s not. Did Ken know what Jake was trying to do to you?” he asks and I nod.
“The last time I picked him up, Jake got quite aggressive. Ken saw the bruise and I told him what Jake said, about taking me as payment.”
“Yet he still went back, carried on racking up a tab knowing you’d come to the rescue, putting yourself in danger, all so he could have a drink. This was his fault, SJ. His choices led to this moment. I’m just glad I was there in time.”
He’s right. Ken carried on drinking and didn’t even try to get sober. He knew Jake had hit me and that he’d threatened me, yet he still went back there because he knew he’d get a free drink and I’d end up paying his bill, even if it was with sex.
“Ken never saw me as anything but my mother, did he? God, I’m such an idiot.”
“Stop that! SJ, stop putting yourself down. You’re not your mother. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who was still a virgin at the age of twenty-one,” he says and I raise my eyebrows. “I meant that in a good way. You’ve put Maddison and Mitchell’s needs ahead of yours since your were sixteen. I understand the decision you made. Hell I made a similar one when my mom was sick. You’re so selfless, you became a mother and father figure to your brother and sister because your parents were incapable of being parents themselves. You help out all these people you don’t even know. You feed people when they can’t afford to eat. You went into Guena territory to help Ken even though you knew what it could lead to.”
“Guena?” I ask
“The Maryland crime family, they’re rebuilding after the mass take down by the FBI four years ago,” he tells me. “What I’m trying to say is, even though you need help yourself, you still help everyone else. Let me take some of the strain off of you. Let me help you.”
“How did you know he wouldn’t kill me?”
“He either knew you were the daughter of a capo or he knew you and I was spending time together. He knows I’m the son of the late Leo Slate. Either way, you were connected to the Decavalcante family.”
“How would he know I was the daughter of a capo? No one knows that.”
“There’s a number of ways, SJ, looking into someone’s past is easy. If something looked suspicious, they’ll track the trail. The rivalry between the Guena family and the Decavalcante family only started within the last year, it could have taken that long to find you.”
“You think that’s it?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Jake could have looked into Ken and found a trail back to you through your mom and her associates.”
“Or?” I ask, knowing by the look on his face he has another idea.
“Your mom told someone,” he says. “She could have trusted the wrong person, who knew that bit of information would give the Guena family an advantage.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me if it were my mother.” I shrug. “Ken told me tonight, she was the one who told him I had the twins.”
“I think I’m going to have to look into your mother. I don’t like that she’s causing trouble for you after so long. There has to be something in it for her,” he says, but I don’t answer. To be honest, how much more trouble can she cause me? “I wish I could make this all better for you,” he says with so much sincerity.
“Did you mean what you said to Jake?” I ask hesitantly, wondering if I want to know the answer. “About how you feel about me?”
“That I love you?” he asks and I nod slightly. Please hurry up and put me out of my misery. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone, SJ. I’ve cared deeply for someone, but what I feel for you is soul deep. I don’t stop thinking about you, ever. I have this overwhelming need to see you, to be near you. I don’t know if this is love Sarah-Jayne Tanner, but I know this is the deepest I’ve ever felt about anyone. You and the twins have invaded my heart, a heart I didn’t even know I had until you walked into my office for our first meeting. The connection I felt to you was something I couldn’t even desc
ribe in words, but if I had to use words, I’d use three. I love you,” he finishes and I burst into tears.
“I promise I don’t cry all the time,” I reply and his laugh is like music to my ears. “I was so worried about the children getting attached to you that I forgot to guard my own heart. You crept in under my radar. It’s one of the reasons I was so upset when you walked out earlier. I’m falling head over hills in love with you. I gave you all of me and then you just left.”
“That was wrong of me. I felt like shit for leaving you, but I was confused.” He holds up his hand as I go to interrupt him. “Also I felt guilty. You didn’t deserve to lose your virginity like that. It should have been special and not a drunken fumble where you weren’t even lubricated enough to take me and so I tore you inside.”
“You tore me?” I ask.
“That’s what the majority of the blood was. I should have made sure your first time was so sensual and it should have been relatively pain free,” he says, breaking eye contact.
“Now who’s blaming themselves?” I chuckle. “Caleb, you didn’t know and I probably should have tried harder to make sure you knew. My virginity wasn’t anything special, but my first time was amazing, even if I am a little sore. It’s nothing a hot bath won’t cure, Caleb.”
He smiles at me with the most gorgeous grin I’ve ever seen donned on a man. “So,” he says with a little tease to his tone, “you’re falling in love with me too, huh?”
“Yeah, maybe just a little bit.” I smile back. “Want a cup of coffee flavored water?”
“I’m a homeless man, I’m not going to say no,” he replies as we get out of the car.
***
I never pull out the sofa bed but since Caleb is here, I figure we’ll be more comfortable on it rather than trying to share the sofa. Mitch and Maddie are next door with Rita so we could have slept in their room, but it just didn’t seem right somehow.
Caleb (The Unseen Series Book 1) Page 15
