I can’t do this. My knees already feel like the rice has broken the skin. My bladder is full and I can’t seem to understand how since I had a drink less than ten minutes ago. I begin shaking my head and crying—this is going to shatter me.
***
Time seems to be going backwards. My knees feel like they’ve been stabbed over and over again. My bladder it going to explode, I can’t hold it much longer. There’s a continuous sound like the seconds hand on a clock, perfectly spaced apart. I began counting them knowing that every sixty ticks, another minute has passed. I’ve lost count now. The ticking sounds more like dripping, like a tap hasn’t been turned off properly. I try to ignore it, my bladder threatening to let go at any second. I can’t clench much more, the plug in my ass is objecting to it. I’m hurting and aching and I need to let it go, but I can’t.
You will not subject yourself to that level of humiliation!
“I’m betting right about now you need to piss. Am I right?” He sounds amused like he knew this would happen. I don’t answer him, I ignore him the best I can. One slip in my concentration and I’ll lose the ability to hold my bladder. “Answer me, pet.”
This time I choose to defy him. I cannot lose control of my bladder. The consequences of my actions become abundantly clear when he places one hand at the small of my back and his other on my lower abdomen, he gently massages my bladder and I know I’ve lost this round instantly.
I scream from the pain, the piercing burn and then even when he takes his hand away, I can’t stop it. A stream of hot liquid flows down my thighs and pools at my knees, I cry as my dignity has been shattered, the shame I feel burns my cheek. I drop my ass to my feet, yelping at the bruises that I can now feel prominently. I’m not strong enough for this. I fall into my own little world where everything is crashing down around me. I cry out, the sound raw and deep, thick with emotion. I cry for the life that’s been taken away from me and I cry for this new life thrust upon me. In less than a few hours my whole life has been turned upside down and I’m on the verge of breaking already.
A sharp sting to my face brings me back to reality. Why couldn’t he just leave me lost in my own head? I’m dragged to my feet, my knees screaming in pain. I’m aware of all the snot and drool running down my face, but it no longer bothers me. If he wants me disgusting, then that’s what he’ll get.
“You beautiful filthy whore,” he whispers like he’s just called me the most erotic name. “I did this because you needed to understand you’re now the lowest of the low, you will have to earn my respect and trust before you can be more than a filthy, dirty slut. You stink of piss. You need a shower.”
He tightens a strap around my neck, I wonder if he’s going to kill me now but he doesn’t tighten it enough to strangle me. I realize it’s a collar when he attaches something to the ring at the front and tugs. He’s put me on a lead. He unties my wrists and orders me to my hands and knees. He pulls me along as I crawl as quickly as I can after him. I should be mortified, but I just feel numb.
***
I don’t even feel the shower. I know he removed the gag and washed me, and he was extremely gentle about it too. That surprised me—I expected his roughness to continue. This whole situation is throwing me off balance. I don’t know what he wants from me and it’s confusing the hell out of me. The fact that I can’t see does help. I can pretend I’m not being held captive by some psychopath and that this is all a dream.
“Come.” His one word has me shivering. What does he have planned now?
He pats me down with a towel and orders me back to the floor. I crawl along behind him like the good little pet I am, the plug in my ass still filling me. What the fuck am I doing? Behaving so you don’t get another beating.
We stop and I hear a chair being dragged along the floor. I’m about to stand but he places his hand between my shoulders and pushes me back down.
“You will be eating down there,” I must make a face he doesn’t approve of because the back of his hand finds my already throbbing cheek. “You will accept what I give you. Now eat.”
I can’t see, so I reach out with my hands. He tisks at me in his patronizing manner, grabs my wrists and ties them at the small of my back.
“You’re my pet, you will eat like my pet.” I don’t know what about that seems worse than anything else he’s done, but suddenly that fight I thought I lost, is back with a vengeance.
“No, I won’t,” I tell him, surprised by how steady my voice is.
“Excuse me?” The sound emanating from his throat causes me to cower back. That fight I thought I’d found, makes a hasty retreat.
His hand wraps around my neck and squeezes, only a little but enough for me to feel my pulse against his fingers, letting me know my life is literally in his hands.
“Get the fuck on the floor,” he growls and I do exactly as he says, hoping to lessen my punishment. He walks away from me and I wonder if I’m supposed to follow, but since he isn’t dragging me, I take it I should stay here. I hear his footsteps coming back and I stiffen. He obviously has some sort of punishment in mind.
“I was going to do this later but since you can’t behave, I’ll do it now.” He lifts me off my knees and lays me on my back, the floor is cold and hard to begin with and then I feel something soft and padded. He spreads my legs and pulls the padding up between them. It takes only a second to realize what he’s doing and I pull away instantly.
“No!” I scream, kicking him and trying to fend him off. He grabs my ankle and pulls me back, pinning me down and wrapping the padding around my waist. “No! Please, no.”
When he’s finished, he gets up and leaves me on the floor, crying to myself. I hear his chair scrape across the floor again, but I don’t move.
“Come and eat your dinner,” he orders but my body still won’t move. My mind can’t believe what is happening, or what he’s trying to do to me. I’ve been put in a diaper like a baby and I’m being treated like an animal. “Eat now or you won’t be eating until tomorrow.”
I gradually get up, a tough feat with my hands tied behind my back. The padding between my legs and the plug in my ass is making it harder to shuffle on my knees, which are still raw from their earlier treatment. I eat my dinner and I drink my water and I wait. I stay there and don’t move. I can’t move. I don’t want to move.
I want to die.
***
I haven’t moved. Even when he leaves the room, I still lie here in my own personal hell. What is he up to? Why do I even want to know? It’s all too quiet and still. Something is going to happen—I can feel it in the room, like a thick, swirling energy. He’s going to punish me, maybe even kill me. I can’t endure anymore. I’m already broken. He has reduced me to nothing more than a thing. I wouldn’t even say animal at this point—even they get treated better than this. He did exactly what he said he would—he’s made me the lowest of the low, but is this really the lowest or is he going to take me lower? Oh God, please, there can’t be anything lower than this. Blind, bound, diapered, eating food off the floor without the use of my hands, and crawling around on a leash… this has to be it, doesn’t it?
I must have dozed off, I’m not sure but I’m startled by a sound. I lift my head to listen and to determine the source, but I can’t hear it anymore. I know something is coming. I can sense it, feel it, or maybe it’s because my other senses are heightened now that I can’t see. Whatever it is, it’s a force to be reckoned with. While waiting to find out what is happening, my bladder decides it needs to empty. Not again, please not again!
While concentrating on holding my bladder, I forget to listen for sound. The next one scares the life out of me, releasing my tensed muscles and letting go again. At least this time it’s in a confined place and he can’t see it trickling down my leg, oddly enough it’s less embarrassing. I don’t have time to analyze this reaction before a large hand fists my hair and drags me to my feet.
“You fucking slut. You’re just like your mother,” he
growls at me. The fury is pulsing off him.
“W-what?” I stutter. “I d-don’t understand.”
“You’re not a virgin, you filthy disgusting whore!” His hand tightening in my hair causes me to cry out. How the hell did he find that out from a blood test? Even if Caleb had given me something, it wouldn’t have shown up on a blood test yet. “You’re used goods and no good to me anymore.”
“P-please, don’t k-kill m-m-me,” I stammer through my tears. The sheer terror I feel is ripping though me.
“I wish I could kill you, but you’re the daughter of the underboss. I don’t think Vitale will be too happy with me if I kill his daughter and grandchild.” His voice is full of disgust and I don’t really care. I’m just relieved he isn’t killing me.
He’s pulling me along, taking me god knows where and then it hits me. I halt suddenly, nearly causing him to fall from my abrupt stop.
“What the fuck, you stupid cunt?”
“What did you mean by my father’s grandchild?”
“You didn’t know?” His voice is slightly softer this time.
“Know what?” Please don’t be what I think it is, please don’t be what I think it is.
“You’re pregnant,” he confirms. I get this sense of falling while drifting into darkness.
Chapter 18
“It’s been over forty-eight hours and we’re still no closer to finding her,” I bark at my brothers.
“We’re doing everything we can.” Logan tries to calm me. “We’ll find her.”
“The cavalry has arrived,” Cain says as he saunters into the room.
“Do you think this is funny? I know exactly how Edward felt about your antics when Dana was missing.”
“Which is why your girl won’t be missing for long,” I hear the familiar voice before I see his face. Seconds later, Edward Day walks into my office.
“I thought you were on your family moon thing?” I ask, confused.
“Dana got a call from Cain and she said we had to come. I was quite happy lounging around on the beach in Southend.” He chuckles and then embraces me. “I dropped Dana and the kids at your house. Rita was very welcoming.”
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He laughs at that and I can’t help, but smile back.
“So, am I forgiven?” Cain pipes up.
“Yes, fine, let’s sit and I’ll catch you up,” I say to the group around us. “Edward, you remember Grayson, Logan, and Aiden.”
“It’s good to see you all again,” he says shaking their hands. “Is Kade or Jessica not here?”
Logan looks to Aiden and then answers Edward’s question. “Jessica is M.I.A and Kade is on a job. We’ve been informed he has he’s been sworn into Vitale’s group of men.”
“Well it’s a good job I’m here then. Catch me up.” Edward seems to dominate the room and to be honest I’m quite grateful for that at the moment—my head is all over the place.
“About nine months ago, Caleb was in charge of protecting Molly Vitale. Due to unforeseen circumstances, she died,” Grayson says while eyeing me.
“I remember you telling me about this,” Edward says.
“Well it turns out Vitale had a mistress and she had his kid, which happens to be SJ. He didn’t know she existed until recently and we think that’s because of her mother. She’s a money grabbing whore.”
Grayson goes on to tell Edward that Vitale was in no way interested in SJ until he realized Caleb was on the scene. Then Vitale saw a way to have his cake and eat it too. This way he gets his promotion to underboss and gets his revenge on Caleb.
“So let me get this straight,” Edward says, concluding the discussion. “This dickhead has just taken control of his daughter’s life that he didn’t know existed until recently and has probably just handed her a death sentence, all because he wants a promotion and to get back at Caleb?”
“That about sums it up,” Grayson replies.
“What do we do then?” Edward looks to me, but I just shrug. I’m completely lost at the moment and feel like I’ve failed SJ and the children. Logan receives a phone call and steps out of the room, while the rest of us brainstorm. “Do we have any leads at all?”
“The CCTV footage confirmed that Thane, the bodyguard Caleb had assigned to SJ, was the one responsible for her disappearance. Right now all we know is that she is with Louis Buccieri. He’s a sick sadist that uses unusual methods to condition his women,” Aiden’s voice barely registers.
“What sort of methods?” I ask uncertainly.
“Umm...” he starts, the fact that he’s so hesitant to tell me makes me all the more worried. “Pet play and forced regression.”
“You mean treating her like an animal and a baby,” I reply.
“Yeah, in a nut shell. He turns them into nothing and makes them completely dependent on him and then little by little, he builds them back up to how he wants them.”
I look at my step brother completely dumbfounded. “How do you know this?”
“The greater cause, remember?”
“Are you going to tell me what that is yet?” I ask.
“No, Logan will tell you if and when he feels like it,” Aiden says sharply.
“Okay, sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” I decide to back off for now, obviously there’s a lot more to this greater cause than I thought. This isn’t business to them, this is personal.
“Okay, so my idea is to approach Vitale. If we can get to him, we should be able to get to Buccieri.” Aiden begins laying out a plan.
“Vitale is now underboss, which means he will be extremely well protected.” Edward steps in.
“We just have to wait for the right moment,” Aiden says, but I just see red.
“SJ is in the hands of a sadistic monster and you want me to wait for the right moment?” My temper is growing and I can’t take this stupidity anymore. Just as I’m about to fly off the handle, Logan comes back into the room looking more than a little worried. “What?”
“Caleb, I need to talk to you outside,” I can’t quite figure out the tone in his voice, it’s seriousness mixed with sympathy. Oh God, please don’t be what I think it is.
“Is she dead?” I ask quietly, dreading the answer.
It seems like a millennia has passed before Logan answers. “No, but we really need to talk alone.”
I follow him out into the hall and wait for him to speak. The anticipation of what he’s going to say is eating away at me.
“SJ has been returned to Vitale,” he eventually says and I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face, but it fades as soon as I notice Logan’s expression is still grim.
“Tell me what is going on,” I order.
“Buccieri found out she wasn’t a virgin and has deemed her used goods. If she hadn’t been the daughter of the underboss, he would have killed her. Instead he sent her back to Vitale and now there’s uproar. Louis Buccieri wants to kill Vitale, but Angelo Buccieri is giving Vitale a chance to deal with the situation.”
“I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
“SJ is pregnant,” he says and those three words just circle around in my head, my brother’s voice no longer registers. SJ is pregnant? With my baby?
“Caleb, are you listening to me?” Logan waves his hand in front of my face looking rather agitated.
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little shocked,” I respond. “What were you saying?”
He huffs and begins to repeat himself. “If Vitale wants to stay underboss, he needs to remove the baby and the baby’s father. It’s kind of like a cleansing.”
“What happens to SJ after that?”
“She will go back to Buccieri and he will claim her fully before impregnating her himself.”
“What do you mean by ‘claim her fully,’” I ask, wondering if I’m a complete lunatic wanting to know the answer to this question.
“Caleb, he’s a sick man, you don’t want to know—”
“Tell me!”
“Sh
e needs to be reborn. Purified. He will rip her mind to shreds until she thinks she’s going crazy and will put her back together so that the only person she trusts is him.”
“We need to save her now!” I demand.
“I know, so here’s my plan—”
“Shouldn’t we clue the others in on this?” I interrupt.
“No, we don’t have time. I’ll fill them in after, now listen. Vitale doesn’t know who fathered SJ’s baby—the brave girl is staying quiet about that. At this present moment, Vitale is almost certain it’s you, although he has two others in mind. Her ex-boss Gary and Jake.”
“That makes sense, both of them sexually assaulted her in some way.”
“We’re going to use you as bait,” he says quickly.
“What the fuck? How?”
“I’m going to put several trackers on you and you’re going to allow them to capture you, we will be right behind you.”
“Are you sure about this?” I ask.
“It’s the only way it will work. Kade is on the inside and he’s going to make sure we get in undetected. Whatever you do, do not admit to being the baby’s father. He’ll kill you on the spot and the plan fails.”
“Okay, what do we do?” I ask.
“Wait for me at my office. I’ll deal with the trackers there,” he says and turns back toward my office.
SJ is pregnant with my baby. I’m going to be a dad.
***
It’s at least ten minutes before Logan arrives. I would have gone in and sat down, but the door is lock.
“What’s with the coded lock?”
“Safety,” he replies with a shrug.
“Okay, so how will you put these trackers on me?” I ask as we walk into his office, stopping the instant I’m inside. “What is all this?”
“The greater cause,” he answers simply. “Do not touch anything. Sit on the couch and don’t move.”
“You’re a little scary, Logan,” I mumble to myself.
“Maybe you’re right, but don’t pretend you’re not even a little intrigued.” He smirks.
Caleb (The Unseen Series Book 1) Page 20
