by Nancy Mehl
I was so surprised that for several seconds I couldn’t think of anything to say. “Charity Lynn Engel, where in the world did you get that idea?”
She shrugged. “I overheard Sophie Wittenbauer tell Miss Leah that Jonathon said you were going to marry him.”
I had no idea how to respond. Why would Jonathon say something like that to Sophie? We weren’t even officially dating yet. And of all the people to tell, Sophie was the last person in town who needed this information. First chance I got, Jonathon and I would have a serious conversation. With Sophie running at the mouth, it wouldn’t be long before the story reached Papa. I suddenly realized that Charity was waiting for an answer to her question.
“No, honey. We’re not planning to get married. Sophie was wrong. Who else heard her say this?”
Her forehead wrinkled in thought. “Well, like I said, she told Miss Leah.”
“And what did Miss Leah say?”
Charity grinned. “She told Sophie she shouldn’t be going around spouting off about stuff she doesn’t know nothing about.”
I was fairly sure Leah had used better grammar, but I was gratified to know she’d corrected Sophie for gossiping.
“And I think Ebbie Miller knows.”
My heart skipped a beat. “And why do you think that?”
“’Cause he was there. He came to fix a couple of our desks.”
“Are you sure he heard Sophie?”
“Well, she talks really loud.”
I’ll bet she purposely raised her voice so she could be certain he heard her. “Thanks for telling me, Charity. Gossiping about other people’s private business is wrong. You know that, right?”
She nodded, but then she frowned. “I know it’s wrong, but it sure is interesting. That makes it harder, doesn’t it?”
As upset as I was, I couldn’t suppress a smile. “Yes, it makes it very hard sometimes.”
She took a big gulp of her lemonade and put the glass down. “Some people have been gossiping about me,” she said, looking down at the floor.
“What are they gossiping about?”
Silence.
“You don’t have to tell me, Charity. It’s your business.”
“My daddy is in jail. Millie Sims heard her mama talking about it, and she told me.” Charity’s head hung down, her dark hair hiding her features.
My heart skipped a beat. “Does that bother you?”
Charity sighed. “It did at first, but then Mama and I talked about it.”
“And what did your mama say?”
She raised her head and her eyes met mine. “She said we should pray for him. That he needs Jesus. But then she made me remember that God sent me another daddy to take his place. A good daddy.” She smiled sweetly. “God must love me very much, I think.”
I returned her smiled. “Yes, I believe He does. Very, very much.”
“So now I don’t worry about it. But I told Millie Sims that she shouldn’t spread stories.”
“And what did she say?”
Her smile widened. “She said she was sorry, and that she thought I knew. I forgave her and now we’re best friends. I think everything turned out pretty good.”
I chuckled. “I think it turned out great. Now let’s get to your homework, okay?”
“Okay.”
As we worked through Charity’s math problems, I felt a lot of joy seeing how her situation had resolved itself, but I was worried about Ebbie. He had broken off our engagement, and then a few days later he heard that I was engaged to Jonathon. My mind spun with bewilderment. Was I really going to marry Jonathon someday? Whenever I was around him I felt flushed, and my heart beat faster. Didn’t that mean that I loved him? He was a good man who loved God. His kindness and his concern for me touched me deeply. So why in the world was I worried about what Ebbie thought?
While Charity worked on an addition problem, I prayed silently. God, I’m so confused. My feelings say one thing, and my mind says another. I can’t separate them from each other. Please show me what to do. I have such deep feelings for Jonathon, but I can’t stop thinking about Ebbie. Please, please give me wisdom.
We worked for more than a half hour, and although we got through it, I could see that Charity’s weakness for math had nothing to do with Leah’s teaching skills. Numbers just weren’t the girl’s forte. Yet I’d read some of her stories and had seen many of her drawings. She was bright, artistic, and expressive. God had given her many gifts, but a good grasp of mathematics wasn’t among them.
She left around four thirty, excited to find out I was spending the night with them and happy Beau was coming with me. I missed Papa, but the idea of having an entire night with Lizzie and Charity had me almost walking on air. I could hardly wait to lock up the shop and go to the restaurant. I’d packed a small valise with my nightgown and fresh clothes for tomorrow. At five o’clock I quickly grabbed it, called to Beau, and we both took off for the restaurant. When we arrived, the dining room was only about half full. Callie saw me and waved me over.
“Lizzie’s in the kitchen. She said you could take your things upstairs and then come into the kitchen with her and Charity.”
“Thanks, Callie.”
I worked my way through the dining room, Beau’s nails clicking on the floor behind me. We had to stop several times so people could greet him. He turned out to be much more popular than I was. Beau dutifully stopped to visit every person. It was obvious he enjoyed the attention, but his tail continued to hang limp. I’d even gone so far as to check it out after the accident, making sure it hadn’t been injured in some way, but it was perfectly sound. The problem wasn’t physical. It was inside him. Even though he seemed happy most of the time, I could see something in his eyes. A shadow of pain. I could only pray that someday it would disappear completely. Until then, all I could do was love him and make sure he knew he was safe.
After making the rounds, we headed upstairs. I put my bag in the spare room and started toward the stairs, calling Beau to follow me. Instead of obeying, he turned around several times and lay down on the rug in the middle of the floor. I walked over and scratched him behind the ears.
“I don’t blame you, boy. It’s much quieter up here, isn’t it?”
I left him where he was and headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Lizzie was standing over the fryer, pulling chicken out and putting it into a large metal pan.
“Hope,” she cried when I came in, “you’re here!” She put a large piece of chicken in the pan and came over to hug me. She smelled of sweat and chicken, and I loved it. And her.
“What can I do to help?”
“Nothing,” she said, smiling. “It’s not very busy tonight. Everyone got to visit at the church supper yesterday, so most of them are staying home. I plan to close early so we’ll have lots of time to visit.” She pointed at the small table she kept in the kitchen for Charity, who was eating her supper. “Have a seat. What are you hungry for?”
“I’m having chicken,” Charity said. “It’s my favorite.”
“Well, your fried chicken looks and smells wonderful, but I think I’m in the mood for meatloaf tonight.” Lizzie’s meatloaf was an often-picked choice from the menu. It was by far the best meatloaf I’d ever tasted, and with a side of her pan-fried potatoes, there just wasn’t a better meal to be found anywhere. Of course, with Lizzie’s food, it was hard to find a favorite dish. Everything she made was delicious.
She slid a pan of meatloaf out of the oven and sliced off a large piece, much too big for me, but when I protested, she just laughed. “Can’t have you telling folks I don’t feed you enough.”
While Charity and I ate supper, Callie and Lizzie filled the last orders. A little before seven, Lizzie closed the restaurant, and by seven thirty, all her customers were gone. We cleaned up quickly, and then the three of us went upstairs.
Charity squealed when she saw Beau and petted him with exuberance. Then Lizzie sent her downstairs to take a shower, reminding her exactly how to turn on t
he water so she wouldn’t scald herself. Once Charity was gone, Beau got up and came over to where I sat. He plopped down on the floor next to me, his head resting on my foot.
“I can’t believe how that dog has taken to you,” Lizzie said. “He was so close to Avery, I was afraid he wouldn’t adjust to anyone else.”
I reached down and ran my hand over Beau’s head. “It’s funny, but he acts like he’s lived with us his whole life.”
Suddenly, an odd squealing sound filled the room. Lizzie shook her head. “It’s the pipes that run from the shower in the basement. I have no idea why they make that sound. The water seems to run just fine, but every time we turn on the shower, it makes that noise. I love this place, but I can hardly wait to have a shower that isn’t two floors down and doesn’t scream like someone is being murdered.”
“And you have to use the bathroom in the restaurant,” I said. “I’m sure you’d rather have your own.”
She nodded. “Living in the new house will be wonderful. I’m so thankful it was spared.” She sighed. “It’s hard to understand how people who don’t know us would try to destroy our home.”
“I know. I’m just grateful you weren’t home when it happened.”
Lizzie snorted. “I think they knew we were gone. These men are cowards. Going after women and old men on the road. People who won’t fight back.”
“Maybe their cowardice will work for our good,” I said.
Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Perhaps it will keep them from coming into town. Too many people to face.”
Lizzie sighed. “I wish I could believe that, Hope. But if they are convinced we won’t fight back, what will stop them?”
It was a good question, and one I couldn’t answer. “I’m so confused by the different opinions I’m hearing. Ebbie believes one way, and Jonathon believes another. Papa stands by our teaching of nonviolence, but the idea that he wouldn’t try to protect me if I was threatened makes me feel—”
“Unloved?” Lizzie said with a smile.
I shook my head with vigor. “No. I know my father loves me. It’s just . . .” I sighed and put my hands up. “I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t know what I believe anymore. I wish I was more like you. You seem to know exactly what you believe. No doubts at all.”
Lizzie laughed and tossed her head back. “Oh, Hope. I have doubts, but I know I’m accepted by my heavenly Father. If I’m wrong about something, and it’s important, He’ll let me know.”
I turned her words over in my head. My love for God was unshakable. But was my faith that He would lead me in the right direction as strong? Did I trust Him to show me the way?
“Hope, can I ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“What’s going on with you and Jonathon? I heard from my daughter that there may be an engagement soon.” She frowned. “I was surprised because you hadn’t said anything.”
“She overheard Sophie Wittenbauer telling Leah that we’re engaged. It’s not true.”
“And where did she get that idea?”
“I have no idea. If it was Jonathon, I’m surprised. We certainly haven’t talked about marriage. We’re not even courting yet.”
Lizzie was quiet. Too quiet.
“What’s wrong, Lizzie?”
She shook her head slowly. “I hope you’ll be careful, Hope. Don’t move too soon. I don’t want you to make a mistake.”
I held up my hand. “Trust me. I have no intention of moving forward with anything right now. I’m still trying to recover from my broken engagement with Ebbie. Besides, I wouldn’t do anything to embarrass him. Seeing anyone else right now wouldn’t be appropriate.”
Lizzie picked up one of the pillows on the couch, punching it lightly. “I have a hard time believing that Jonathon would share personal information with someone like Sophie. I know he’s uncomfortable with the way she acts around him.”
“I think he likes it.” I knew I sounded snippy, but being the center of gossip unnerved me. Let alone the knowledge that this rumor could reach Papa.
Lizzie snorted. “Wow, your nose is really out of joint. You must have some unresolved issues about Jonathon.”
“Well, I guess I do.” I stood up, walked over to the window, and looked out at the empty streets. After the restaurant closed, downtown Kingdom became a ghost town. “I don’t know, Lizzie. I think I love Jonathon. He has so many good qualities, but for some reason I keep comparing him to Ebbie. It’s stupid, I know. To be honest, when I was engaged to Ebbie, I constantly measured him against Jonathon, and he came in a distant second.” I turned around to look at my friend, who was staring at me with sympathy. “What in the world is wrong with me?”
“My dear, dear friend. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re just torn between two men. It happens. The important thing is that you wait until you’re absolutely certain you know your heart and you’ve heard from God. Don’t do anything until that happens. Okay?”
I smiled at her. “Thanks. Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by and I have to decide everything quickly. Twenty-six is old for a woman to still be single.”
Lizzie pointed her finger at me. “You should get married when you’re ready, Hope, not because it’s expected of you. What if you move too fast and miss the husband God has for you? I had the choice to marry someone besides Noah. If I’d done what looked right, I could have ended up in misery, or even dead.” She frowned at me. “You’re not on earth to do the will of your earthly father or anyone else. You’re here to find that special path God has for you. Don’t sell out.”
“I wish I could find that path,” I said quietly. “Jonathon seems to be everything I’ve been looking for. He’s good and kind. And he loves God.” I sighed. “Whatever I do, I won’t hurt Ebbie anymore. I just can’t. You should have seen the look on his face when he heard Papa accuse me of being in love with Jonathon. I’ll never forget it.”
“Yes you will, honey. Someday when you’re married to whoever is meant for you, and Ebbie is married to the woman meant for him, you’ll realize that things turned out exactly the way they were supposed to.”
“I hope so. Papa says that God may have a plan for all of us, but we can choose to follow it or not to follow it. The trick is to make God’s will more important to us than our own. Sometimes I’m not sure I’m doing that. My emotions seem to pull me one way and then another until I don’t know what I want.”
Lizzie grinned. “Well, Jonathon isn’t going to lose interest. That boy’s got it bad. I see it every time he looks at you. Just relax and take your time. You wait until you’re sure what God’s will is for you.”
A loud knocking sound came from downstairs, startling me. Before Lizzie had a chance to respond, a voice called out, “Lizzie? Where are you?”
“That’s Jonathon,” I said, following her downstairs, Beau on my heels.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, Jonathon was standing in the middle of the dining room. It was obvious he was upset.
“What’s going on?” Lizzie asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes, something’s wrong,” he said tersely. “Is Noah here?”
“No, he’s at the house,” she said. “Why?”
Jonathon took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “Have you seen Sophie?”
“No,” Lizzie said, “but she hardly ever comes here.”
I stepped around Lizzie. “What’s wrong, Jonathon?”
He sank down into a nearby chair. “She’s made several comments about wanting to carry a loaded rifle when we’re out on the road. Roger and I both told her no. We don’t allow her to touch our guns, loaded or not. I finally told her I wouldn’t let her come with us anymore if she didn’t stop arguing about it.”
“Are you and Roger still carrying unloaded rifles?” Lizzie asked.
Jonathon shook his head. “I don’t. When it came right down to it, I just couldn’t do it. It didn’t feel right.”
He shrugged. “I told him how I felt, but he has to make his own decision about that. I have no idea if his rifle is loaded.”
“Has something happened with Sophie?” I asked.
“I keep a rifle in my truck just like a lot of us do. It’s always there in a rack behind the back seat.”
Lizzie started to say something, but he held his hand up. “It’s for hunting, Lizzie. That’s all.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. “Where’s your rifle now, Jonathon?”
“I don’t know. That’s the problem. Sophie was hanging around earlier today while I was helping Noah out at the house. I left there around six to go home for dinner. On the way, I noticed my rifle was gone. I think she’s got it, and it’s loaded.” He stood up. “I’ve got to find her before she does something stupid.”
“You mean stupider?” Lizzie said sarcastically.
He nodded. “Yes, stupider.” He sighed deeply. “I don’t know what to do with Sophie. She follows me around like a little puppy dog. I’ve spoken to her about it, tried not to hurt her feelings, but it’s like she doesn’t hear me.”
“Maybe you’re not trying hard enough,” Lizzie said.
He shrugged. “What can I do? Tell her she’s never allowed to talk to me again? That seems cruel.”
“Right. And look what being kind has gotten you.” Lizzie was clearly exasperated, but I could see Jonathon’s point. Hurting Sophie, a girl so obviously in need of some attention, would be very difficult.
“I’ve got to go. I’m afraid she’s gone out to the road with my gun.” He put his hat back on his head and turned toward the door.
“Wait a minute. I’m going with you,” I said.
He swung around, his hand on the doorknob. “No you’re not. It could be dangerous.”
“Don’t be silly. You’re just trying to locate Sophie. She’s not going to shoot us. Besides, I need to talk to you, and this would be a perfect opportunity. Papa’s with Herman in Junction City.” I looked over at Lizzie. “I won’t be gone long. Do you mind?”
“Not at all. This will give me time to get Charity to bed so we’ll have lots of gab time when you get back.” She grinned lopsidedly. “Besides, I have a feeling we’ll end up with a lot more to talk about if you go with Jonathon.” She looked down at Beau sitting next to me. “Beau can stay here with us. Charity will never speak to me again if you take him with you.”
