What If... All Your Friends Turned On You

by Liz Ruckdeschel

  Of course Haley had heard about Spencer’s plans for a trip to Nevis, organized by his mother. The governor-elect had very prudently decided to send her hard-partying son and his friends far from prying eyes, to an island in the Caribbean purposely chosen for its peace, quiet, serenity and lack of nightlife. The last thing she needed was another Spencer-r elated scandal to divert attention from her upcoming inauguration—and if left to his own devices in town, with two weeks off from school and nothing but time on his hands, Spencer was sure to get up to something.

  What Mrs. Eton hadn’t counted on, apparently, was a hot calendar photo shoot taking place at the boys’ peaceful, quiet hotel. And what Haley hadn’t counted on was Reese joining the party. Of course Reese played sports and was friendly with Spencer, Drew and Johnny, but in the year that she had known him he’d never been a partier. In fact, he’d been so tense about college lately that he spent all his free time studying.

  Or so he’d always told Haley. But now, who knew what he’d been up to all those times he’d said he was at the library?

  Haley clicked off her phone, wishing the terrible images would just go away. Had Reese changed? Or had she never really known him? This kind of shock was definitely not on her holiday wish list. All she could think about was finding the fastest way to the Returns Department. Or at the very least, Complaints.

  “Is everything okay, Haley?” Alex asked. Behind him, on the TV, the countdown was beginning: ten, nine, eight …

  “Um, not really,” Haley said.

  And then Mitchell screamed, “Happy New Year!” and the room erupted around her.

  Haley had better hope the old maxim about New Year’s Eve isn’t true—that the way you spend that night is the way you’ll spend the rest of the year. If that’s the case, her year is going to be filled with stomachaches, heartaches and something called a RoBro! Not a happy prospect.

  Those beach bunny shots are pretty shocking—and all the other spurned girls at Hillsdale High are sure to be as irked as Haley is. Hell hath no fury like a Coquette scorned, and sometimes a little fury is just what a girl needs to get a bad boy out of her system.

  If you think Haley’s top priority is to get to the bottom of those pix and get some moral support from her fellow victims, have her band together with her lady friends in NEW YEAR, NEW YOU.

  Maybe you think some decent food is in order after all that mock-n-cheese and faux gras. If so, head to the Golden Dynasty in WET NOODLE.

  On the other hand, even perennial parent-pleasers Annie and Dave seemed bored at the Armstrongs’ bash tonight. If you think the quickest and easiest way for Haley to forget her troubles is to duck out of the party and go meet the future in the form of Dave’s animated automaton, turn to, SMALL WONDER.

  Haley did get one good shock tonight: the news that her parents are considering giving her a car for her seventeenth birthday. So things aren’t looking all bad for the new year. Then again, why was Haley ringing it in at a lame party with her parents? Didn’t any more appealing invitations come her way?

  Now that Hillsdale’s heartthrobs have all turned on their girls, who will be the next victim of a disloyal act? With the boys in Nevis, where did Coco and her friends ring in the new year? And what about the arty crowd, Irene, Shaun and Devon? Did everyone make plans behind Haley’s back?

  When your friends all turn on you, life can get lonely fast. Maybe Haley should stick close to those she knows best. Or at least buy herself a RoBro!

  WET NOODLE

  At most Chinese restaurants, canoodling is not on the menu.

  “What’s with the outfit?” Haley asked. “Did your dad declare an end to the dress code or something?”

  Haley’s classmate Irene Chen was greeting customers at the hostess station of her parents’ restaurant, the Golden Dynasty, in a sexy-punk outfit—a ripped T-shirt, plaid miniskirt and combat boots. This was typical of her uniform for school, but for work, Irene’s father expected her to wear hostess whites—a crisp button-down shirt tucked into a long demure skirt. He had recently invested in the getup to class up the joint.

  “This is how I always dress,” Irene said defiantly. “Why should I change to please someone else? He’s not the boss of me.”

  “Actually,” Haley said, “he is. If you want to get technical about it.” She was pretty sure Irene didn’t.

  “Well, he acts more like a dictator, if you ask me,” Irene said. “Especially ever since he caught me and Shaun in the basement.”

  “Caught you and Shaun … doing what, exactly?” Haley wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

  “What do you think?” Irene said. “Hooking up, snogging, rounding home plate—whatever you want to call it. Dad didn’t like it. He said that from now on I have to go straight to work after school and straight home after work, nowhere else. I’m basically grounded for life. Or I would be if I listened to his Stalinesque rules.”

  Irene and her boyfriend, Shaun Willkommen, were one of Hillsdale’s longest-running couples. Shaun was blond and potbellied and strange, but so deeply himself it gave him a certain irresistible charm. They were among the most talented artists in school and very rebellious, though Irene had been restricting most of her rebellion to outside the home—until recently, that is. Shaun was more of a free spirit, letting the wind take him wherever it blew, which for Shaun was often in truly bizarre directions.

  “Whatever,” Irene said. “What’s wrong with you? Your skin looks kind of … greenish.”

  “I think it’s my mother’s cooking,” Haley said. “Two weeks of nothing but veggies is literally turning me green.” Not to mention the disturbing pictures that had just flooded her cell phone of Hillsdale’s finest cavorting with swimsuit models. That was enough to make anyone sick. “I need some double-deep-fried sesame chicken, extra spicy, and I need it now.”

  “I’ll put in an order for you, but I’ve got to warn you, don’t look around or you might lose your appetite.” Irene scribbled down the order and took it to the kitchen.

  Haley couldn’t resist scanning the restaurant after a warning like that, but she soon regretted it. The Dynasty was open late for the holiday, and hopping. Nothing unappetizing about that. It was what Haley spotted by the koi pond that sent her stomach lurching.

  There, in a cozy corner booth, were Devon McKnight and his freshman sidekick, Darcy Podowski. Devon’s ever-present camera sat on the table beside them while he and his platinum blond neighbor from the Floods snuggled up together, whispering and laughing in each other’s ears. Devon closed his eyes as pale, skinny Darcy ran her fingers through his sandy brown hair.

  Haley wanted to turn away from this crime scene, but she couldn’t. They must be hooking up by now, she thought in despair. But then again, with Devon, who knew. It wasn’t as if he were very adept at expressing himself or making the first—make that second, third, fourth or even fifth—move.

  Haley had always thought Devon was adorable in an artsy-misfit way, and for a while, he seemed to like her too. Then little Darcy showed up and started distracting Devon from his aimless pursuit of Haley. Okay, so he was quite easily distracted. Whenever he started to really dig a girl, his self-destructive tendencies kicked in and made him pull away. So why wasn’t he hightailing it out of the restaurant right now? Devon hadn’t pulled away from Darcy. Not yet, anyway.

  Haley tried to console herself by thinking of sesame chicken, but it wasn’t working. Devon looked up and caught her eye. She didn’t look away, and neither did he. His sexy gaze had always been able to keep her spellbound. At least when he turned it her way.

  If only he weren’t such a project, Haley thought. She wondered what it would take to get him to make an actual decision about dating a girl, instead of just making out with whoever was in his orbit that week.

  Darcy finally noticed she’d lost Devon’s attention for the moment and looked up to see what was catching his eye. When she saw it was Haley her expression changed from moony to mean. She tossed Haley a quick stink-eye and turne
d Devon’s face back toward her.

  Might as well check on my food, Haley thought, resigned to leave Devon to his wishy-washy ways. She turned to the register to see Mr. Chen sputtering with rage at Irene. “I told you not to leave the house like that and how do I find you? In a harlot skirt and Hell Angel boots! Not decent! Go home and change into your uniform! I won’t have you in my restaurant dressed like this!”

  “You can’t tell me what to do!” Irene barked back. Heads from the nearby tables began to turn toward the hostess station to see what the commotion was about. “I’m an adult!”

  “You are seventeen! Still child!” Mr. Chen shouted.

  “Okay, I’m nearly an adult,” Irene said. “And you’d better get used to the idea. I’m not backing down this time, Pops—not about my clothes, and not about Shaun.”

  “Shaun! That boy is a dragon! I forbid you to see him ever again!” Mr. Chen’s face was turning purple.

  “You can scream all you want,” Irene said, reining in her anger. “I don’t care what you say. I’m seventeen years old. I will wear whatever I want, and I will do whatever I want to with my boyfriend. And you can’t stop me.” She grabbed Haley by the arm and pulled her toward the door. “See ya later, Pops. I quit!”

  “Come back here!” Mr. Chen yelled. “You can’t walk out on me! We’re shorthanded tonight! Get back here! Irene!”

  By now the whole restaurant was watching. Irene dragged Haley outside to the parking lot, where they shivered in the frosty January night as Irene lit a cigarette. She had only recently taken up smoking, and Haley could tell she didn’t enjoy it. Not one little bit.

  “What are we going to do now?” Haley asked as Irene tried to cover up a cough. “Maybe you should go back and apologize.”

  “Are you crazy?” Irene said. “I totally did the right thing. I can’t let him run my life. He’d keep me locked in my room forever if he could. It’s still early. Let’s go somewhere.”

  “Okay, but what about my sesame chicken?”

  Irene nearly snarled at her. “You know, you’d be a lot better off if you spent less time thinking of ways to stuff your face and more time trying to wrench Devon free from that devil-cat Darcy.”

  “Even if I did take on the Devon Project, I’d still need to eat,” Haley said sulkily.

  “Come on, Shaun’s parents are having a New Year’s Eve party,” Irene said. “Let’s crash it. I’m sure there’ll be food there.”

  “What kind of food?” Haley asked petulantly.

  “Something good,” Irene said. “They’re the Willkommens. Now let’s go, Haley, I’m freezing. Quick, before my dad comes out and tries to chain me to the hostess station.”

  As they started walking up the hill toward Shaun’s house, Irene turned to Haley and asked, “Did you hear the news about Rick Von Wrinkle? Engaged.”

  “Whoa, no way. To Dave Metzger’s mother?” Haley asked. She knew that Mr. Von and Mrs. Metzger had been dating for a while, but the news still took her by surprise, especially since Dave hadn’t mentioned it at the Armstrongs’ house. She wondered if he even knew.

  “There’s an engagement party next week. We’re all invited.”

  “Is Devon going?” Haley asked.

  “Highly unlikely,” Irene said. “Darcy wasn’t included, and he doesn’t go anywhere these days without Tattoo Barbie. But that doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook.” Irene paused. “For what it’s worth, I still think you could snag him for good with a little effort, and then we could give Darcy the boot.”

  Haley thought it over for a minute. Was Irene right about Devon? Should Haley be trying to pull him out of Darcy’s vampy clutches before it was too late? Or should she trust her first instinct, forget him and move on?

  Devon’s always been confusing, and frankly, his push/pull act with Haley has gotten old. But what if Irene is right? It’s not as if Haley’s been trying very hard to win him over. Maybe the Devon chapter in Haley’s life isn’t over yet. What if all she needs is one last effort to lure him away?

  If you think Irene has a point and Haley should fight for Devon’s affections before she writes him off, go to, TRIPLE DATE.

  But then, look at all the advantages Darcy has. She’s got the arty rebel thing down, which is a proven winner with Devon. She seems to have nothing but time on her hands to spend trying to please him. And she lives next door to the guy, for heaven’s sake. Haley knows from her experience with Reese that sometimes nothing beats proximity. Maybe Haley should just give up. Why waste her time on a lost cause?

  If you think Haley should leave Devon alone to be devoured by Darcy, head off with Irene to their art teacher’s engagement party turn to, VON-METZGER. Who knows, maybe she’ll find someone interesting there.

  SMALL WONDER

  Do robots feel pain?

  “The days of being an only child are over,” Dave Metzger announced. He was in Mr. Von’s garage, surrounded by Haley, Alex, Annie and Hannah, waving his arm over a three-foot-tall pile of something with a sheet over it. “I give you—RoBro!”

  He whipped the sheet off the small figure. There in front of them was a metal creature on wheels, with metal arms dangling lifelessly at its sides. A sweater had been pulled over the top half of the “torso,” which was crowned by a large, rubbery doll’s head. Dave must have had trouble finding a boy doll big enough to work with, because he’d taken a girl doll’s head and given it a boy’s haircut. It was the creepiest thing Haley had ever seen.

  “Ta-da!” Hannah said.

  “I think Dave’s abandonment issues have gotten way out of hand,” Alex murmured to Haley.

  “You couldn’t pay me to live in the same house with that thing,” Haley whispered back.

  “Let’s see it do something,” Annie said.

  “All right,” Dave said. “Remember, he’s a work in progress. We’ve still got a long way to go. Hannah, would you do the honors?”

  “Uh, well, the ’Bro! doesn’t really do all that much yet,” Hannah said. “I can try to make him wave, but I’ve got to hard-wire the circuitry before it will work.”

  She started fiddling with some wires at the back of the RoBro! Anyone else would have had to stoop down to reach the wires, but Hannah was so small she barely had to bend her knees. To pass the time, Haley flipped through some of Mr. Von’s old vinyl records, looking for something festive to play among all the classic jazz and folk. Alex grabbed a Miles Davis record and put it on the old turntable.

  “So, um, I guess the RoBro! won’t be the only new addition to my family,” Dave said as the music filled the dimly lit garage.

  “What do you mean?” Haley asked. “Your mother’s not pregnant, is she? Because I don’t know if it’s the best idea for Mr. Von to breed.”

  “Ha! Wouldn’t that be fitting?” Annie said. “If Mrs. Metzger had a baby just when Dave is building a robot brother?”

  “No, she’s not having a baby … that I know of,” Dave said. Haley was struck by the rattled look on his face and felt sorry for him. “She’s—she’s getting married. To Mr. Von, of course.”

  This announcement was met with stunned silence, except for the scratchy trumpet music playing through the speakers. Haley didn’t know what to say. Nora Metzger was already living with Mr. Von, so it really wouldn’t make much difference in Dave’s life. But knowing the situation was permanent might not be easy for him to take.

  Annie threw her arms around Dave’s neck and said, “Isn’t it wonderful? I love weddings.”

  “When did this happen?” Haley asked.

  “Over Christmas,” Dave said, cracking a tight smile. “Annie’s right, it really is great. I couldn’t be happier for them. They’re having an engagement party Saturday night—and I want you all to come. We’ll all celebrate together.”

  “Where’s the party?” Alex asked.

  “Here, at Mr. Von’s house,” Dave said.

  “You mean, here at your new house,” Hannah said. “You better start getting comfortable here. I
t’s not temporary anymore.”

  “No, I guess you’re right …,” Dave said, his face going white.

  “Is Mr. Von going to adopt you?” Alex asked. Haley slid her hand across her throat in a “Cut! Cut!” gesture, but it was too late. “Will you change your name to Dave Von? Or maybe Dave Von-Metzger? That sounds pretty impressive.”

  The blood drained from Dave’s face until he was ghostly pale. Annie, looking horrified, stepped behind him and held out her arms, ready to catch her boyfriend if he fainted.

  “Not cool,” Annie said to Alex. “Really not cool.”

  “What’s wrong with hyphenating?” Alex asked, aghast.

  “I will never take that man’s name as long as I live,” Dave declared.

  “There’s no reason to,” Haley assured him. “I’m sure it’s fine if you stick with just plain old Metzger.” She wished he’d just sit down already and let the blood flow back to his face. Sheet-white was not a good look for Dave.

  Annie tried to change the subject. “How’s that wiring coming, Hannah?”

  “I think I can make him talk,” Hannah said. “Once we got him to say ‘How are you.’”

  She straightened up and flicked a switch on the robot’s back. RoBro! made a whirring sound and turned his head slightly. His mouth didn’t move but a faint sound did come out of the little speaker in his chest. Annie put her ear to the speaker.

  “What’s he saying?” Haley asked.

  “It sounds like ‘Ow ow ow,’” Annie said.

  “He’s still loaded with bugs,” Dave conceded. “Maybe we’ll be able to demonstrate a few of the things he can do at the big engagement party.”

  “Yeah, about that. I’d like to come,” Alex said. “I really would. And I promise to try, but I’m not sure I can make it. Governor Eton’s inauguration is coming up, and I’m helping to organize the inaugural ball. It’s insanely complicated, coordinating all the food and flowers and caterers and stuff, and everything always seems to be an emergency. It’s taking up all my time. I doubt I’ll have a social life until it’s over, unfortunately. But we’ll see.”