“I’m doing my fucking job,” he raged, sipping more booze. “I’m supposed to keep you safe.”
Yeah, and protect her heart.
Croft knew he was gone. This was nothing like what he wanted to do tonight. He could see she was worn down. There were black circles forming beneath her eyes, and his wife looked…exhausted. On top of it all, he’d just burned what was left of them to the ground.
God help his dead cold soul.
“Thank the universe for that. I feel so safe and happy,” she said sarcastically.
He snapped. Slamming down his glass, he moved toward her. Immediately, he wanted to hurt himself for scaring her, but he couldn’t stop. Grabbing her by her arms, he hauled her up onto her toes.
“Why can’t you see I just want you safe?”
“From who? You?” she said angrily, pulling free. “Don’t you dare put your hands on me, Greyson Croft! If you think I won’t fight back, you’re very wrong.”
Emma wanted to weep.
She wanted to throw herself against his body and curl around him. She understood his need to keep her safe, but she had another job.
Emma had to make him see what his silence was doing.
Now, she was fighting for them.
“You’re off this case. I’m calling Ford and pulling rank.”
It pissed her off that he’d actually go there. Every time someone did something shitty like that, it went on the cop’s record. And her very clean record was a thing of pride.
Unlike this fight.
“You will not!” she demanded, moving back at him as he fished his phone from his pricy pants pockets.
As he began dialing, she went for it, only to be pushed. Emma tripped over the cat and fell onto the couch.
“You’re my woman, and I’m keeping you safe if it’s the last thing I do! You’re my priority.”
“Really?” she said, getting up. “What the hell happened the last two months then? You emotionally abandoned me, leaving me to fend for myself.”
He stared at her. “Take that back.”
“No. It’s the truth, and you know it. If you loved me, then you would have been here for me, not off fighting your private war, Captain Croft!”
It was all he could take.
She’d hit the nail on the head, and he was ashamed. It was enough to snap what was left of his tenuous thread of control. He moved toward her, once more grabbing her arm.
Instinctually, Emma reacted, slapping him across the face.
There was no sound.
Time stopped.
The only thing that registered was the quick intake of both their breaths.
His head remained turned as his fingers touched the spot where she struck him. Where that should have sent him into a rage, Croft knew he deserved it.
Hell! He would have slapped the stupid out of himself if he could figure out how to do it.
It gave him a second to get into control.
“I hate who I’ve become,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “I used to love being your wife, Greyson. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wake up every day afraid you’re going to walk away, or go to bed at night wondering if I’m enough to make you stay. You changed the last two months, and Emma Croft can’t exist without you, but Emma Starling can.”
He glanced over at her maiden name.
“Congratulations. I’ve met my breaking point. I’m done.”
With that, she walked away, heading to their bedroom.
Greyson didn't move as he waited for the sound of the door to slam. When it happened, echoing down the silent hall toward him, he dropped down on the couch as the last part of his heart died in his chest.
It was official.
He had nothing left to live for.
Greyson lost his Emma.
* * *
Curtis arrived at Brynn’s place to find her making them dinner. When he walked in, she raced toward him and into his arms.
When their lips met, he found peace. “Hey, baby,” he crooned, holding her against him. It felt damn good to have her back in his arms.
And he didn't just mean now.
After they’d broken up, he never thought his heart was going to be the same. While he tried to pretend that he was okay, the opposite was true.
He was lost without her.
There was something about her sweet blue eyes and sexy brown hair. Curtis loved running his fingers through it. While they’d agreed not to jump into anything, it had been hard.
They’d made it two weeks before beginning to having sex again. When that happened, the old relationship came back, only without the issues. So far, they were in the clear. He was trying not to be a caveman, and she was giving him a break with the ‘captain’ goals--even though he was well aware they were forever on her mind.
All in all, it was working for them.
“I hear you’ve had a rough day,” he said, stripping out of his tie and jacket. When he popped off his holster and she handed him a beer, he was in heaven.
He loved having a girlfriend.
Curtis wouldn’t change this for the world. This was absolute perfection. If they stayed like this the next ten years, he’d be a happy man, especially in light to the hell his partner was living.
“Yeah, Emma and I caught four bodies,” she said. “It’s a mess.” Then it occurred to her. “Who told you?”
Briggs told her all about the melt down his partner had on the phone.
Brynn whistled. “That’s a bad sign.”
Curtis was well aware. “What’s up with him?”
She went back to making a salad, avoiding his eyes and the question. This was tricky ground. She’d promised her friend and partner that she’d stay quiet, but she was in a relationship where they swore there’d be no secrets.
Shit!
“What do you know?” he asked suspiciously.
“Um…nothing, why?”
Great.
Brynn just lied to her boyfriend. She was totally screwed.
“Brynn, you’re not being honest. We agreed that there’d be no secrets.” This was his big fear with her.
“I can’t, Curtis.”
“Why?”
“I promised Emma.”
He touched her cheek. “They’re my family. I want to help them. If you know something, you have to tell me.”
“They’re having a rough patch.”
He was well aware. “Yeah, that’s why I spend more time here than there.”
She didn't say anything else.
“Is it because of Dante? I came home that one night and he was gone.”
She nodded.
“What did he do? Did he hit on Emma? I knew that bastard couldn’t be trusted. I swear I’ll head over there and kick his ass myself.”
Brynn started laughing at his outrage. “Uh, yeah, calm your thrusters there, Curtis. You’re not even close on this one.”
He didn't like this game. “Please? I swear on our relationship that I won’t say a word.”
She pointed at him. “You can’t! Emma will never speak to me again. I’m the only one who knows. If I tell you, we have to protect them.”
He held up his pinky.
Brynn gave in and shared the secret. “Dante was caught in their living room making out with his date.”
Curtis started laughing. “Well, unless it was a hooker, I can’t see this causing a mess. A lot of kissing goes on in ‘Castle Croft’.”
She shook her head. “Dante was kissing one of our co-workers.”
Curtis couldn’t imagine who it would be. “A lab tech?” he asked, trying to figure it out.
“No. Steele Bentley.”
He began choking on his beer. He must have heard her wrong. “Did you just say…”
She nodded.
“Well, holy hell! That explains why he’s grumpy. His baby brother was getting it on with another guy?”
“Yeah, well, grumpy isn't the half of it. This is ruining their marriage. Emma is barely holding them
together. She hasn’t said much, but I’ve noticed the romantic notes stopped coming to work, along with the flowers, and random tokens of Greyson’s affection. It’s like he cut her off. She’s cried a few times at work too.”
Suddenly, he felt guilty. Instead of asking what was wrong, he’d bailed on his family--on his brother and sister.
Curtis felt increasingly bad about leaving Emma to face the fire alone. She had to be scared and lonely. He was a jackass.
“We have to help them out,” he said. “Emma can’t fight him alone. When Grey screws something up, he does it big time. This is a giant pit of quicksand.”
It was time to step in.
~ Chapter Three ~
Emma sat in their room, wearing one of his shirts. She stormed in there, and now her heart was aching. She couldn’t believe that she struck her husband.
What the hell was wrong with them?
With her?
This had all gone too far.
What she wanted to do was weep over it all. While Emma was still angry at the way he was treating her, she couldn’t forgive what she’d just done.
Just as she was about to head back out to say she was sorry, there was a knock on the door.
“Can I come in?” he asked softly.
“Yes,” she replied, hoping the fight was over. Emma couldn’t do this anymore. She was too worn out to go another round with Greyson.
When he entered, she could see the pain in his eyes. His poor heart was damaged, and instead of helping him, she’d turned on him too.
“Emma,” he began, not knowing where to start.
“Why are you so mad at me, Grey? I don’t mean just now because I struck you. I lost my temper, and I’m sorry for that, but I don’t know why you hate me.”
He stared at her. “I don’t hate you, Emma. I’ve never loved you more.”
“Is it me? Haven’t I been a good wife?”
“Emma, honey,” he began again, and once more he didn't know how to tell her what was living in him.
“I miss you touching me. We used to be unstoppable. When you looked at me, I would see your soul. It was full for me, and now you’re empty. Do you want someone else? Have you found someone else, Grey? You’re important in this city. I’m just a lowly cop. If that’s it, I’ll set you free so you can be happy. I love you too much to make you suffer like this.”
He wanted to be sick.
“We had a good run. The months we’ve been together were amazing, and I’ll never forget them. I’ll die loving you, but if you’ve fallen out of love with me, I understand. You’re powerful and deserve more than a homicide detective.”
Okay, he was going to weep.
Had his silence made her believe all this?
“I didn't make Dante gay, so why are you punishing me? I should be part of your team, not public enemy number one.”
It was time to spill his heart.
“I don’t hate you, Em. I’m so much in love with you that I’m scared. Dante is only one issue that I’m dealing with right now.”
“Then talk to me, Greyson,” she said from the bed. “Let me back into your life. We don’t work this way. There’s no you or I in this relationship. We won’t make it if we don’t have each other’s backs.”
The floodgates opened.
“My biggest fear is that one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. You’re going to open your eyes and see that I’m losing control. I loathe that Randall Mason is going to get time with you playing the piano. I know it was for charity, but that’s our thing. You’re my woman, and that’s something meant only for me.”
She was beginning to understand.
“I’m jealous that he’s going to get that little piece of you that was only mine. This is my little treasure, and I hate to share it. Every time I find something that is mine, someone steals it away.”
“Grey.”
“I feel like it’s not special. You’re sharing it with someone else. I know it’s stupid and childish, but when I see you playing and hear the melody, I know it’s for me. Now, he’s going to think that too.”
“It’s always for you, Greyson.”
“You wanted the truth. There it is, or at least that’s part of it. For a month now, I’ve been getting updates from Randall Mason on Dominic Marianna. He’s infatuated with you, wanting you more than anything in the world. I have to live with the knowledge that a man, who gets everything he wants, is focused on my girl. So, I lose the intimacy of you playing the piano for me, and now some stranger is vying for my wife. What’s next?”
She didn't know Randall was telling him all this. No wonder he was a scattered mess.
“Today you found a body that might be a mob hit. You’re going to have to investigate, pulling you into the mess of his world. I’m scared, Emma. I can only give you so much. He can buy you the world.”
Her heart ached for him.
“Grey, he can’t buy my love. As for you only giving me so much, have you seen the fortress we live in? The clothes I wear? The life we lead? I have never asked for more. In fact, I’d give it all up to have us back.”
He stared at her, dying to believe her words.
“I’d live in a shack in the ghetto to have you at night in bed with me. I’d sell the trinkets you’ve bought me to have one more month of how it used to be. None of it matters but you, Grey. You’re my all.”
It freed up more of the truth that he locked deep down in his heart. “I am upset about Dante,” he said, pushing on. “I’m losing everyone I love. My brother walked out instead of just talking to me. Even Curtis has run from me. Now, you’re going too. I’m nothing without you, Emma. I may be the Director of the FBI, but without my wife, it doesn’t matter. You’re my center, and I can’t breathe without you.”
His admission touched her heart. She felt the same. Now, she was seeing shades of the man she fell in love with and married. Here was her Greyson.
“I'm a failure. I can’t stop this person from coming after me. I can’t make my marriage work. I failed at being a big brother, and my wife will pay the cost. I don’t feel like a man. I’m a shell. This soulless city has made me just like the rest of the heartless, callous people who call it home. I’m dying inside.”
Emma was hurting for him, but she knew he needed to get this all out. Her husband had to hit rock bottom, so they could build it back up.
“I’m sorry, Emma. I’m going to just give up and accept I’m a failure. I can’t hurt you anymore. I love you too much to pull you down with me. I’ll sign the papers, I’ll move out, or anything else you want. Just let me know. I’ll sleep in Dante’s room,” he said, his voice so full of pain. With that, he ran his hands through his black hair in frustration. The sigh that broke his lips told the tale.
He was destroyed.
Emma’s eyes filled with tears as the door closed behind him. Never had she ever seen her man this beat down. She didn't doubt that he was indeed ready to toss in the towel.
It looked like he was at the bottom.
Climbing out of bed, she waited until she could hear the door to Dante’s room close. She gave him a few minutes before going to him. At that moment, he needed her. Greyson was hurting, and she wanted to heal his heart, much like he did when he found her.
Heading down the hall, she quietly turned the knob, hoping he wouldn’t be upset she was there. What she saw broke her heart. He was sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. It was almost a position a small child would take after being scolded.
When she entered, he didn't even look up, but his body braced for more fighting. He was ready to take more emotional hits. Instead, Emma was going to do her job.
Protect her heart.
Going to her knees, she sat before him. When he wouldn’t look at her, she began, “I love you, Greyson Thaddeus Croft. I don’t want you to leave our home. In fact, if you go, I'm following just like I came out here to be with you. This isn't my home without my heart.”
This time, he did look up, and his
eyes were filled with so much pain and unshed tears.
“I've been a bad wife. I should have seen your pain and come to you. Instead, I gave you space, believing that you could work it out. I was so very wrong. I didn't know this was all on your shoulders, Greyson. If I had, I wouldn’t have left you to fight it alone. I hope that you’ll forgive me for not being a good partner. I promise from here on out, I’ll do so much better. I’ll have your back and keep you safe.”
When she placed her warm palm over the scar on his cheek, life slowly began ebbing back. In that moment, he believed that he had a second chance with his Emma.
“I’m here now. I’ll carry you, Greyson. We can’t let Vegas break us. We came here to be happy. I’m willing to finish this up and leave if that’s what you want. I’ll hand in my badge and follow you to the ends of the earth. We can live on love. It’s all I need to be happy--that and you.”
He needed her so bad. In that moment, if he couldn’t feel her against him, he’d drift away in all the pain. “Emma, I’m drowning,” he whispered, hoping the admission of his weakness wouldn’t make her hate him. Women wanted strong men, not ones who fell apart.
This would be a defining moment for him.
Leaning over, she left kisses across the spot where she struck him. “I’m sorry I put my hands on you in anger,” she whispered, praying he’d forgive her.
“I did the same, and I’m sorry I scared you, honey,” he replied. As her lips moved over his cheek, then to his lips, life began rushing into his body. Instead of fear, he was sinking in heat.
Delicious.
Overwhelming.
Heat.
When he lowered his legs, she straddled them, finding her customary spot in his lap. As her mouth moved over his flesh, her hands stroked his bare chest.
God, she felt so good.
This was amazing. It had been weeks since the intimacy was there between them.
He’d missed it in the worst way.
As her body remained pressed to his, he suddenly noticed that she was in his shirt. It was the one he had slept in the night before. Something primitive roared to life as he thought about his woman wearing his things, even when she was furious with him.
Heaven is Weeping (A Croft & Croft Romance Adventure Book 5) Page 7
