“Let me make one thing clear,” she said, her voice low and smoky and hot enough to make my dick twitch in my jeans. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to bond with you. As far as I’m concerned, we will never be family.”
I did my best to ignore the way my dick was slowly swelling to life and gave her a cocky grin as I said, “Then we’re on the exact same page.”
“Good,” she huffed before strolling past me, purposely letting her bag slam into me on her way out of the room.
I chuckled and shut the door, trailing behind her while whistling a jaunty tune just so I could watch her shoulders tense with irritation. Fiona was certainly a firecracker these days—so easy to light up and watch explode.
A surge of regret tightened in my chest and stopped my whistling as I remembered she had no idea how I truly felt about her. Absolutely no frame of reference to understand what she had walked in on that night and she’d never given me the chance to even try to explain it.
Not that I could really blame her. Only a few short hours after she’d unexpectedly kissed me for the first time and whispered those three huge words that caught me so off guard that I couldn’t even respond… and she walks in on me fucking another girl.
That didn’t exactly make a good impression.
Hell, I certainly wouldn’t have given a fuck about an explanation. I was completely fucking aware that I didn’t deserve the chance to give her one.
Whether I deserved it or not—I needed her to at least hear me out.
Even if that meant forcing her to listen.
When I’d found out my dad was dating her mom, I knew I’d wind up with a chance eventually. It was something instinctive, and I’d promised myself that whenever the opportunity arose, I would grab onto it with both hands.
Right now, my opportunity was carefully concealed in my duffle bag, layered between my clothes so as not to make a sound. I put the bag in the trunk myself and silently prayed that no one else would bother messing with it.
“Let’s go, dumbass,” Fiona said with an exaggerated eye roll, staring at me as if I’d lost my mind.
I realized I had stopped walking somewhere between her room and the living room, staring off into space as I got lost in my thoughts. I cracked a smile at her unamused expression and breezed past her, inhaling deeply as I did so and nearly groaning at the familiar scent of her.
No matter what, I had to figure out a way to make her understand why it had gone down the way it did. I had to find a way to earn her forgiveness—and fast.
Because I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to keep my hands off her for three whole days.
Chapter Six
Fiona
I sat in silence nearly the entire drive down, hoping that no one would talk to me. I knew the only reason anyone would bother was if I acted like I was interested in a conversation. Which I most certainly was not.
I put in my earbuds and closed my eyes, letting the music on my phone distract me from reality. I didn’t even want to look at anyone right now, especially not him. I was still too pissed at being forced into this trip.
Luckily, our parents hadn’t made us sit next to each other for the ride. Jonathan sat in the front with his dad and I was in the back with my mom.
During the ride I fantasized about my near future and it didn’t seem so bad. As soon as we got to the cabin, Brenda would come to relieve me from this nightmare of a weekend. We’d head back into town so I could put in a few job applications. If everything went well, I’d land a job within a few weeks and then I’d split the rent of an apartment with either her or anyone else I knew that was looking for a roommate. A solid plan.
Mom tapped me on the shoulder, pulling me out of my daydreams.
“We’re nearly there.”
We never really talked about the cabin anymore, which was one of the biggest reasons I was surprised when she suggested this bonding session. It was almost as if talking about it brought us both back to the past, back to the time we spent there with my father. Whenever we did talk about it, it would only serve to make us both depressed. So over the years, we simply stopped mentioning it.
Now I was beginning to wonder if Gerald being around my mom had lessened some of the pain she felt when she spoke of it. I also wondered if they had been out there together and if anything had changed since I last saw the place.
“Do you guys come down here often? It’s been a while since I’ve been out here.”
She turned to me and smiled. “Occasionally. It’s been a couple of months since our last visit, though, so everything may be a little dusty.”
I nodded in understanding, keeping my thoughts to myself. It didn’t matter to me whether it was dusty or not, considering I had no plans to stay there. As soon as they backed out of the driveway, I was calling Brenda. I had briefly considered walking so I wouldn’t have to spend any time at all with Jonathan, but the slowly growing layer of snow covering the ground stopped that idea dead in its tracks.
The car started to slow and I glanced out the window, realizing that Gerald was pulling the car onto the short dirt road that led through the woods and down to the cabin.
God only knew how it would have wound up if I had been forced into such close contact with Jonathan for the past hour. At least in the back seat, I had been able to completely ignore his presence.
“We’re here!”
I fought back my eye roll at my mom’s excited voice, wondering why on earth she thought this was a good idea. It was also slightly surprising to me that she was giving us free rein of the cabin for three days, but then again, it’s not like Jonathan and I hadn’t been best friends for years. This wouldn’t be the first time we’d spent the night together, nor the first time we spent alone together.
However, it would be the first time we spent time together alone as adults. Which was a little scarier to me, even though I wasn’t entirely sure why.
Oh, shut the fuck up. You know exactly why that’s a scary idea and it starts and ends in Jonathan’s pants. Asshole or not—you still want him.
I huffed at the thought, but deep down, I knew it was true. It didn’t help matters that Jonathan looked even better than he had the last time I’d laid eyes on him. His slightly pale skin was now covered with a tan that he’d undoubtedly gotten from working outside during the summer and the warm months of fall. Along with the tan, he’d also developed more muscle—including thick biceps that made the sleeves of his t-shirts bulge around them.
There was some ink peeking out from under the cotton that I was more curious about than I wanted to admit. I had wanted to get a tattoo ever since I turned eighteen, but my fear of needles stopped me every time the thought crossed my mind.
“Fiona?”
“Hmm?” I hummed, snapping back to reality. I glanced to my right, a fleeting image of Jonathan’s raised eyebrow as he made his way toward the cabin immediately registering in my brain. “Oh, sorry. I was zoning out.”
“I got your bag!” Gerald shouted before slamming the trunk shut.
Jonathan was already by the door and waiting for my mom to unlock the cabin by the time I finally got out of the car, trailing behind Gerald all the way to the steps. My mom breezed past us all and slid the key into the lock, then opened the door with a grand gesture.
“Ta-daaa!”
“We’ve been here before, Mom.”
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You’re in a sour mood.”
Well, duh. Can’t possibly imagine why.
“I’m fine,” I lied, forcing my lips into a tight smile even though my stomach flipped with nervousness. “I’m just tired. I think I’m going to take a nap.”
Mom frowned and tipped her head to the side, looking at me curiously before she narrowed her eyes. “Don’t forget why we brought you out here. I don’t want you two avoiding each other all weekend.”
“I won’t forget,” I promised, but I was certain that she could hear the fakeness of my cheery tone. “We’ll see you guys in a
few days.”
I gave Mom a quick hug, hiding my guilty expression against her shoulder until I managed to straighten it back to neutral, then pulled away to give Gerald an awkward wave. I didn’t even look towards Jonathan, even though I could see him in my peripheral vision, leaning up against the kitchen counter and watching the entire exchange in silence.
Right when I got to the door of my bedroom, the asshole shouted, “I’ll wake you up in twenty minutes to start our bonding, princess!”
The door slammed so hard behind me I could hear the hinges creak.
When I told my mom that I was tired, I hadn’t been lying. My sleep the night before had been plagued by nightmares and I spent hours restlessly tossing and turning. The exhaustion I felt was bone deep and no amount of coffee was going to pull me out of this fog. I needed to rest.
The idea of sleeping and allowing Jonathan the chance to wake me up didn’t appeal to me in the slightest, but even so, the moment I flopped onto the mattress, my eyes slid shut and I fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter Seven
Jonathan
“Do you have to antagonize the poor girl?” Dad asked after the slam of her door echoed through the cabin.
Have to? Probably not. Want to? Well…
I shrugged and turned around under the pretense of checking the refrigerator for food, pointedly ignoring the look of disappointment Leslie was giving me.
“Why wouldn’t I? She just took off after graduation and refused to speak to me again. It’s pretty damn obvious she’s not interested in being friends anymore.”
I wasn’t going to take all the blame here. Sure, I behaved like an asshole. No, I hadn’t done the right thing and the fault there was entirely mine.
But she never even gave me a chance to explain. It was like the moment her feelings got hurt, the entire twelve years of our friendship suddenly meant nothing to her.
“We may not know what happened between you two, but don’t you dare try to imply that it was all on Fiona,” Leslie chided. “It takes two to tango.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her words, even though the truth of what had really gone down between us gave me a sinking feeling that I wasn’t entirely comfortable with. I just couldn’t bring myself to admit to either of them that the fight itself was entirely my fault.
So I did the only thing that made sense to me. I lied.
“Yeah, well… I suppose we both screwed up.”
I had a nagging feeling that if I didn’t put things into play soon, Fiona was going to be gone before I even had a chance to get a word out. Knowing her, she was probably on the phone right now with Brenda, begging to be rescued from her big, bad, ex-best friend.
For someone who was supposed to be a mature college student, sometimes she acted as if she had never left middle school. Fiona was the type who had a hard time letting go of habits once they formed, many of which were learned from the few female friends she had over the years.
I could just picture it now—her lying back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling while she whined on the phone about spending time with me to whomever would listen.
But then again, I supposed that was one of the things that I absolutely loved about her. Fiona was nothing if not predictable.
Whenever she was lying, she would bite her lip and avoid eye contact. When she got even the slightest bit embarrassed or flustered, her cheeks would burn red. If anything sexual was said around her, she would fidget. If she disagreed with someone but didn’t want to say anything, I could tell by the way she pursed her lips together. It was subtle—but it was there. It seemed that no matter how old she got, she still couldn’t figure out how to control her reactions.
Which, in my opinion, was a good thing.
Sure, spontaneity was great sometimes, but there were arguments to be made about people who were easy to read. Especially when it came to women. They were hard enough to figure out already without any additional mystery.
I could provide all the spontaneity we ever needed. I had done so during our entire friendship and it always worked out well.
Except that one time.
My jaw clenched at the reminder. I needed our parents to leave pretty much immediately. I had a lot to do and a very limited amount of time to do it in. The sooner I got started, the better.
“I’m going to do everything I can to fix things between us,” I promised when I realized Leslie and my dad were still staring at me warily, hoping my confident tone would ease their concerns.
“Good. Now give me a hug,” Leslie ordered, opening up her arms. I gave in to her request, but refused to let the moment get too emotional. Too motherly.
Because I was quite sure Leslie would gut me where I stood if she knew what I was really planning to do with her daughter this weekend.
“See you Monday, son.”
After a brief pat on the back, our parents w walked out of the cabin and headed back to the car. I subtly watched from the front window, forcing a smile and waving as they backed out of the driveway.
When I lost sight of the car, I turned back to the luggage and grinned.
If she really was sleeping, then this was going to be easy.
If not, then it was going to be ridiculously difficult.
Either way, I was going to do it.
No time like the present, I thought as I dug between my carefully arranged clothes and pulled out the pile of chains.
Chapter Eight
Fiona
I had no idea how long I was out for, but it was an unfamiliar noise that pulled me out of my nap. It was almost like a snap or a click, and for a brief moment, my half-asleep mind panicked at the thought that I might have actually broken the door when I slammed it.
When I moved to sit up, I was abruptly jerked back by something on my arm.
“What the—”
“Morning, sunshine!” Jonathan chimed from beside me, startling me to the point that a shrill scream slipped past my lips. He winced and raised a hand to cover one ear. “Jesus. Please don’t do that again. I’m rather fond of my ability to hear, thanks.”
“What are you doing in—”
My question cut short when I tried to stand up, only to feel that same pressure on my wrist again. When I looked down, there was a thick metal band snapped around my wrist and a chain attached to it.
My eyes widened with horror as I followed the chain, quickly realizing that it was attached to another cuff on Jonathan’s own wrist. The silence was thick as I dragged my eyes up to his, my mind not working fast enough to come up with a response.
Jonathan did, though. He smiled brightly and shook his hand, the long, thick chain that tethered us together jingling from the movement.
“I think this is a great way to kick off our bonding session, don’t you?”
Every frazzled emotion that I felt melted away all at once—too weak to compete with the sheer amount of rage I felt boiling my blood. I watched his smile fade as I snarled and lunged towards him, knocking us both off the bed with the sudden force.
I was sure that he was trying to calm me down, but I couldn’t even register the words. I raised my fists and beat them as hard as I could on his chest, feeling hot tears of frustration pooling in the corners of my eyes when he just laughed at my attempts to hurt him.
“Let me out of this thing right now or I swear I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” he mocked, roughly gripping my wrists and flipping us over until he had me pinned to the ground. I squirmed in his grasp as I felt the tears overflow, turning my head to the side so he couldn’t see them. “Tell me what you’ll do, Fiona.”
“I’ll call Mom,” I whispered pitifully.
“Oh, will you? I mean, sure, I’ll probably get into some deep shit, but you won’t be immune to it when I tell her that you weren’t even going to attempt to make up with me. You were going to call Brenda and run off, weren’t you?”
“I was not!” I argued, defiantly turning my head to meet his gaze.
But I knew this was a battle I couldn’t win. I wound up biting my lip and looking up to the ceiling, knowing that he would instantly recognize the tell. I was a terrible liar and he fucking knew it. He knew exactly what to look for to call my bluff. That just made me even angrier.
“Oh no? So all those sexy outfits you packed are for me?” he asked, smirking triumphantly as I renewed my efforts to squirm out of his grasp. It was no use, though; he was far stronger than I was. “Sweetheart, I appreciate it and all, but you don’t have to go through so much trouble to impress me.”
“They aren’t for you,” I hissed. “Fine! I was going to call Brenda. Excuse me for not wanting to spend my winter break being forced to bond with you. I don’t want to do anything with you!”
I spat the words out with disgust, hoping they would hurt him. Make him feel anywhere near what I had when he blew me off right after I told him I loved him. He knew me far too well not to realize how hard it had been for me to say those words to him.
Yet, he still broke my heart without a second thought.
Asshole.
“You wound me. But don’t act like I’m particularly happy about this shit either.”
Despite the fact that every damn logical part of my brain screamed at me not to rise to the bait, I couldn’t convince my body to stop itself. I shifted my hips, let my legs fall open, and pressed up. I smirked when I felt the very obvious bulge in his jeans directly against my core.
I couldn’t help but to smirk as I said, “I don’t know. You seem pretty happy to me.”
Just like my brain had tried to warn me, it quickly became obvious that it had been the wrong thing to do. Jonathan’s eyes narrowed even as his pupils blew out, zeroing in on my face. I swallowed hard, hoping he wouldn’t see the movement, but he did. One corner of his mouth turned upwards and he leaned just barely forward, bringing our lips only inches away from one another.
My breathing hitched and my neck craned to lift my head to his, but as my eyes began to drift closed, my mind replayed the sight of catching Jonathan screwing that girl as if it had just happened.
Shackled: A Stepbrother Romance Novel Page 3
