by Aubrey Dark
I forced myself to look at him levelly, even as my heart sank. He wouldn’t make me do this. He couldn’t. And yet as I stood there, the metal of the gun warming in my hand, I knew that he was capable of this, this and so much more. His tongue darted out, small and pink beneath his oily black mustache.
“Yes,” I said.
“Good,” he said. He let go of my hand. The place where he had gripped me went cool. “Then this is a good chance for you to show me what you know.”
What I knew? My mind reeled forward all of my training. How to kill someone with a rope, a knife, a gun. I knew all of the body parts that hurt most to be shot. If you want information, you break someone’s finger or shoot them in the knee. Avoid the femoral artery, or they’ll die too quickly. If you want someone to die slow, you shoot them in the stomach. If you want them to die fast—
“Mmmmm!”
The kid on the ground was past scared. The front of his pants had gone dark with urine, and his chest was shuddering with silent sobs behind his gag. He was young. Jesus, so young. Twenty, twenty-two at most.
The men I was sent to assassinate were always like El Alfa. Old, fat, and evil as fuck. But this one—he was just a boy. I had to control myself, or my emotions would bubble up to the surface. The thought reverberated in my head.
Control yourself.
I examined the gun, stretching out the seconds he gave me before I had to do anything. A Glock, the black metal dull in the dim light.
My eyes flicked up to El Alfa. Could I shoot him right now? I hadn’t thought an opportunity would come up so quickly. Yet here I was, holding a gun, with my target standing right in front of me.
No. I couldn’t. There were four men standing next to us, apart from El Alfa himself. I could probably take out two of them, but they had been trained well—they were standing apart from each other so that there was no way to get them at the same time. Two more men driving the SUVs, three more in the backs of the cars. And that’s not even counting club security. This was El Alfa’s club, after all. A volley of gunfire would bring them running. And the cars were blocking the only exit from the alley—
“Well?”
I looked up at El Alfa. I’d already stalled too long. It was impossible now. His beady eyes bored into mine, daring me to refuse him. Goddammit. I had a gun in my hand, for Chrissakes. I could shoot him in the face and then what? I’d be killed, and the two girls would get whisked off to God knows where, and the raid would be shot. No. I had to do this.
“Thanks for trusting me,” I said with a smirk that hurt my face. I cocked the gun as I stepped behind the sobbing boy. I couldn’t save him. Couldn’t save him.
I lifted the gun up to aim it at the poor kid’s head. From the SUV, I heard a muffled pounding, but I didn’t lift my head to look at it. If I saw either of the girls, I wouldn’t be able to do it. For all of my rational thoughts, I couldn’t help but feel a shudder run through my spine.
Fuck you, Ten, I thought. Fuck you for sitting in your office and giving orders that you would never have to carry out yourself. Fuck you for all of this.
Control. Take control.
The barrel of the gun pressed against the base of his skull. I would make it quick.
He’s just a boy.
I shoved down the feeling that threatened to sting the backs of my eyes. I shut it down and locked it away. There was only the gun and the kid, and the darkness swirling up inside me.
It always came when I killed, this dark feeling. It took me over, like a deep instinct I never had to be taught. Lots of people know how to kill, but when the time comes, they freeze. I’d spent my whole life training myself not to freeze. Now, as the darkness swept through my body, my arm, my fingers, I let it come and drive away the empty terror I felt at killing an innocent.
My body relaxed. I didn’t shake. This bullet needed to be perfect if I wanted to kill him painlessly.
Control yourself.
I did it. God forgive me, I did it, and the world darkened as my finger pulled the trigger. The boy fell, and the back of his head was gone, and his blood was flowing out black onto the street, black like oil. My stomach turned, but I kept control.
Then it was all over, and El Alfa was taking the gun back, and his men were pulling the body away.
I got into the car, waiting for the darkness to loosen its grip around my chest. The echoes of the gunshot rang in my ears as we drove off, and in the back of the SUV Jessica was screaming from behind her gag.
I took a deep breath, but it felt like I wasn’t getting any oxygen. The dark tide that had swept up into me wasn’t ebbing away like it normally did after a kill. And then I realized what she was screaming behind her gag, her voice muffled.
“Monster!” she was screaming, her throat hoarse with sobs.
Monster. Yes, that’s what I am.
I stared hard out of the window at the neon signs passing by and tried not to think about what I had done.
It wasn’t my first kill, true.
But it sure as hell felt like it.
Chapter Fourteen
Jessica
The man with the blue, blue eyes lifted the gun and put it against the back of James’ head. My mouth went dry. I had been kicking against the door of the SUV, but now I stopped. No. He wasn’t going to shoot him. This was all a bad dream. A nightmare. I was going to wake up any second, and then—
Then the gun bucked, and the sound came through the car window. It hit me like a wave, and James fell over, flopped over, his head turning to the side as he fell, bloody. I could hear myself screaming through my gag as it happened, and I couldn’t stop.
Then the man who shot him stepped in front of my view. He was looking into the window, right at me, but he didn’t see me. I don’t think he saw anything.
His eyes looked totally blank. Like a dead man’s eyes.
A monster.
And I’d… I’d kissed him.
I’d kissed this man, this killer, this monster. I wanted to throw up. Behind my gag, I could feel the bile rise in my throat. If I threw up now, I’d probably choke and die. Instead, I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against the glass of the window. I couldn’t stop screaming at the man as he came into the car, and my screams came out like gargled sounds but I couldn’t stop myself. He had killed James.
James. Oh, God. James.
“Let’s go,” the fat man said. The engine roared and I fell back against the side of the door.
I didn’t know where they were taking us, but I knew that wherever it was, I didn’t want to go there.
Chapter Fifteen
Vale
The moon was shining when we reached El Alfa’s estate. In the blue light of the night, the marble gleamed like ice and the palm trees waved dark shadows, their spiked leaves like fingers reaching out to grab us.
I was still thinking about the kid that I’d killed. I’d never killed an innocent before. Never.
My mouth tasted like chalk as I got out of the car. My hands ached from clenching the steering wheel so hard. I wanted to punch something, to get that dark cloud out of my system, but I couldn’t. Not here.
El Alfa snapped his fingers and the men dragged the two girls from out of the backs of the cars. They went in front of us. The one I’d danced with, Jessica—she was the one who struggled the most. She was kicking the whole way, but her friend let herself be pulled along without any protest, like a dog that had been beaten too many times to care about fighting back.
We went up the marble steps behind them, and the huge doors in front opened, spilling out a flood of yellow light from inside.
The girls in white gauze dresses scattered in front of us as we walked. None of them looked up at the girls who were bound and gagged. I wondered how many of them had arrived this way themselves. I wondered how many of them had watched their boyfriends get killed in front of their eyes.
We reached the end of the hallway. There was an opening there, with stairs leading down into the blackness. A dim y
ellow light flickered at the top of the stairs, lighting only the few top steps. The man holding Jessica stopped at the top, and she looked back at me. There was such pleading in her eyes that it made my body grow hot. I couldn’t break my cover.
I turned my eyes away to the yellow light. An electric bulb that flickered, a fake torch. I stared at it until the light burned the sickness out of my stomach and I could look down. The man was dragging Jessica down the stairs, then her friend. El Alfa motioned for me to go down the steps. I paused at the top stair, but only for a moment. I could feel his eyes burning into me as we descended down into that maw, swallowed alive by the stony darkness.
We went down the staircase slowly and carefully. It was barely lit with yellow electric torches on the walls, and I found myself putting my hand out to keep my balance as I made my way down the steep stone stairs. Upstairs everything was marble, but down here was only gray, gray rock.
At the bottom of the stairs, two guards stood with AK 47 machine guns cradled in their arms. The stone floor stretched out farther into a narrow hallway. It could have been a scene from a medieval castle, except for the doors. On alternating sides, shiny metal doors staggered like teeth all the way down the hallway. The only sound was the high scream coming from behind Jessica’s gag.
El Alfa came up next to me. I suppressed a shudder as he chuckled.
“You did very well tonight,” he said. I realized dully that he was talking to me.
“Thanks,” I said.
“I want you to see what we do here. The girls upstairs, they are all very obedient, yes?”
“Yes.” I wasn’t about to contradict him. They didn’t seem obedient, I thought. They seemed scared.
“Yes. That’s all my doing. I have a very good training program for them. My whores are the best submissives. You see?”
“Yes.”
The first henchman was already hauling Jessica’s quiet brunette friend into one of the cells. He handled her roughly, banging one of her legs into the metal door as they went in. I had to bite my tongue, but El Alfa didn’t.
“David!” he yelled. The henchman turned and glared. “Be careful with the merchandise.”
The man nodded, his dark eyes flashing anger. I wondered who this man was, who could get away without answering his boss. All of the other goons working for El Alfa seemed to be terrified of him. But this David… he didn’t seem to care.
“After you,” El Alfa said, again magnanimously gesturing me before him.
We went into the cell. The room was dark, except for a single shaft of light coming down through the window. The window was only a small square cut into the stone, too small to crawl through, too small for a possible escape. But the sun shone through, one small solitary ray of light piercing the darkness.
David was already chaining up the brunette. Jessica’s friend. He slapped black leather cuffs around her wrists, the metal clasps locking them into place. The cuffs were attached to chains, and when David pulled at the chains, her hands stretched outward on each side to the walls. Her head hung forward against her chest. They had taken off her gag, but she wasn’t screaming. Instead, she was crying softly.
“You may go now, David,” El Alfa said, almost gently. David looked up at me, and I thought I saw a glance of something in his eye. Jealousy, maybe. But then El Alfa was moving toward the girl, and I paid attention to him instead.
“The first thing we teach them is how to kneel,” El Alfa said. “They must acknowledge you as a master.”
He gripped the girl’s chin and jerked it upward. Her eyes were clenched shut, the mascara still running down her cheeks. When El Alfa loosened her chains, her arms hung limply at her sides.
“Look at me, stupid girl,” he said. She only sobbed harder.
He slapped her across the face. I suppressed the urge to reach out and give him a taste of violence. Control. I had to keep control.
“Look at me.”
Now she looked up dully, the tears streaming across her cheeks.
“Kneel.”
She shook her head no, and El Alfa punched her in the stomach, then caught her before she could fall. Yanking her up with one hand, he took hold of her dress with the other and tore. She screamed as her dress turned into shreds. Her underwear was pink, I saw. Pink with small white daisies. I felt sick.
“No!” she cried. “I’ll do it! I’ll do it!”
She fell to the ground, kneeling awkwardly. El Alfa kicked her in the side. She curled over.
“Sloppy girl. Next time, obey me right away or I’ll take more than your clothes.”
She whimpered.
“I’ll make her obey,” David said, stepping forward boldly. El Alfa shook his head.
“Don’t feed her. We’ll work on her tomorrow.”
David rubbed at the side of his neck as he stood back dejectedly. He had a sunburn, and where his fingers scratched, white curls of skin flecked off of his neck. When he saw me looking at him, he dropped his hand and looked away.
“Come,” El Alfa said. He was talking to me. “I will show you a girl who already knows how to obey her master.”
He opened the door across the hall. Inside, an Asian girl was curled up on the floor. I could see that she wasn’t chained at the wrists but at the throat. A thick black collar wrapped around her neck, attached again to two chains hanging off the walls.
El Alfa snapped his fingers. Immediately the girl scrambled up, her eyes bleary with sleep. There was a dark bruise on her stomach.
“You know how to kneel, don’t you?” he said.
“Yes, master.” Fear flashed in her eyes.
“Kneel for me.”
She bent down slowly, her back rigidly straight. When her knees touched the ground, her body folded forward. Her forehead bent down, almost touching the ground. Her hands stretched out in front of her, palms upward as though begging for something. If I had seen her anywhere else, I would have thought it was a yoga pose.
She held the position, her hands trembling only slightly, as El Alfa walked around her. He nudged at one foot that was angled slightly outward and she immediately straightened out.
“There. That’s how they should do it. Not perfect, of course. You can ask any of the girls upstairs if you want a proper demonstration.”
“They all have the—uh, the training?”
I had to act interested. I had to act like I wanted this job. Jesus, it was hard. I realized why two of Ten’s men had already died in this place. If I didn’t keep myself completely in line, I would be next.
“That’s right. Once they’re ready, we let them upstairs.”
I nodded, trying not to look as sick as I felt.
“You did well tonight,” El Alfa continued, “but there are many things harder to do than to kill a man. To get a woman to obey you, for instance.”
He chuckled at his own joke and I put on an acid smile, feigning amusement.
“So,” he said. “We will see if you picked out the right girl tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
He led me back out into the hallway and opened yet another door.
My heart fell as I saw Jessica already in chains. She was pulling hard at her cuffs, and her gag was still in.
“I think you may be in for some trouble,” El Alfa said. He tore off the gag and Jessica began to scream.
“Help!”
He slapped her, then shoved the gag back into her mouth.
“Take the gag off before you leave her tonight,” he said, winking conspiratorially at me. “That way she’ll scream herself hoarse. It’ll be easier to work with her then.”
“What do you mean, work with her?”
“You have control over this one,” he said. His grin was sickening. “Good luck getting her to kneel. I think it will take more than a few hours for this one. You’ll want to get her out of her clothes. Most girls listen better when they’re naked.”
“Wait,” I said, my mind spinning from all of the orders. “You mean, she’s—”
“Yours.”
“Mine?”
Jessica met my gaze from behind her gag. Hatred burned in her eyes.
“Yours to control. Yours to train. This is a test, eh? To see if you are good at this job. You are good with a gun, but I have many guns already. I need trainers.”
The air in the room was cool down here, but I was still struggling to breathe.
This was it? This was the job I was sent here to do? I’d expected drug trafficking. I’d expected violence. But I hadn’t expected… this.
“Keep her pretty,” El Alfa was saying. “No guns down here, no knives, yes? Only hands. My clients pay for top quality. They do not want a broken product. Make her listen to you in whatever way you need to, but keep that in mind.”
“Sure,” I said. Another set of vague orders from a boss who wasn’t telling me the whole truth. I looked down at Jessica. Even with a dirty gag stuffed in her mouth, her hands tied up, her eyes rimmed with tears, she looked beautiful.
I was disgusted with myself for the stirring attraction inside of me when I looked at her. I wanted to scream to her that I wasn’t like this, that this wasn’t me. I was just here to do a job. I was just following orders.
Orders. Right. I had a mission to finish. I turned to El Alfa, who was standing in the doorway. Behind him, David looked at me suspiciously.
“The doors are only for containment. They don’t lock,” he said, “so make sure you keep her in chains. There are guards always in the hallway, of course, if you need any assistance.”
“Thanks,” I said, storing the information away in my mind. No locks—it made sense, if they had to empty the place out quickly for raids.
“Have fun,” El Alfa said. He seemed hesitant to leave me.
“Oh, I will.” I forced myself to plaster on a smile, and it seemed to do the trick. El Alfa smiled back and closed the metal door behind him.
Jessica looked up at me in horror as I turned to her, the smile dropping off of my face.
Chapter Sixteen
Jessica
I’d heard April sobbing next door, and I’d heard them hitting her.
