On the other hand, it was an accidental encounter of sorts. If the turmoil of unplanned illness hadn’t been swirling like a black cloud around her, I had no doubt that I wouldn’t have been in between her legs right now.
This reality would have only existed in my dreams, a completely unreachable fantasy that would haunt me forever.
Soft gasps opened her mouth, the swell of her lips calling to mine like a siren. Tilting my head down to capture her mouth with mine, I kissed her with the intensity of the emotion I felt and then some. My lips instructed hers, begging them to follow along with my lesson plans.
Excitement pulsed and waved throughout my body, the connection between us settling over me and filling a hole I hadn’t paid attention to in years.
A fuzziness warmed me, the alcohol I’d consumed earlier helping to loosen both my limbs and mind. It freed me from worry, instead pulling the pleasure of our bodies back into focus.
Her heavy breasts pressed tightly to my chest, and with the help of my hand, her thighs came up to wrap around my back. The change in angle both opened her up and forced us closer, and the smell of apples wafted off of her skin as her arms surged from my back upward.
One arm wrapped around my neck while the other stayed free, her fingers tangling in my hair with a brutality I wouldn’t have expected from her.
It was punishing, impolite, and it demanded that I give her what she wanted.
I complied easily, moving my mouth from hers to her jaw and down, licking and nibbling her neck as I went.
The smell of her skin was intoxicating, sucking me in and threatening to hold me hostage for the rest of eternity. If it came with regular meals, I was in.
Close to her climax, she tightened around me, pulling me closer with her legs and sucking me deeper into the warmth of her body at the same time. Two sets of hands wandered, touching and feeling and memorizing every inch of skin within reach, and her moans took on a different cadence entirely.
Faster and more distinct, words poured out of her, encouraging me to keep up the good work.
“God. God. Yessss. Please . . . Wade . . .” Her breath caught on a hitch. “ Uhnn. Yes.”
Fingernails dug into my ass and then skated down my thigh, tickling my senses and causing a chill to shoot up my spine.
One eye twitched and fought to close, but I defended against it, wanting to see everything that was happening in front of me with eyes wide open.
Perfect breasts bounced in time with the rhythm of our bodies, and the heel of one of her feet dug into the muscle of my back.
“Al—” I choked, “Alli. I’m close . . .”
I wanted to put in an even better performance, but her body had been seducing me from the first time I’d laid eyes on her and my brain and cock were in anything but agreement about the timing of the rest of our encounter.
Tightening her thighs even further, she keened with me, fighting to find her way over the edge of bliss and keep from falling at the same time.
Fireworks exploded suddenly and forced my uncooperative eyes closed, the soft brush of feminine fingers on the skin of my balls spending my orgasm before I even had time to recognize it was coming.
Thankfully, she screamed her climax too, and all I had to lament was the missed opportunity to see her face contorted with pleasure.
Chests heaved as my body pressed its weight into hers, the jelly-like muscles in my arms completely unwilling to make a move off of her.
I tucked her sweat-mottled hair behind her ear, placed a kiss on the rosy apple of her cheek, and whispered, “I don’t know about you, Alli girl, but I’m sure as hell going to remember.”
A dry laugh coughed out of her parched throat, the line of her neck arching into an elegant curve as she let her head drop back to the bed behind it.
“I don’t remember much anymore, but I’m pretty sure this one’s locked in,” she teased back.
Her arms squeezed me further, but the fact that they had yet to release the pressure keeping me tucked to her body made it a faintly less significant move.
And I had no desire to fight it.
Unfortunately, it couldn’t last forever, the pressing matter of the condom squeezing a ring around the base of my dick I couldn’t ignore.
“Uhhh,” I whined, pressing my forehead into her slender shoulder. “Am I in the bathroom yet? Did you see me move?”
Rich laughter wet the dryness of her throat.
“Here,” she offered, extending her arm over her head and reaching for something on the nightstand. I would have paid attention to what she was grabbing had the stretch of her reach not brought her taught nipple into perfect alignment with my lips.
Closing them carefully around her, I made sure to use gentle suction and licks, knowing her sensitivity would be heightened right after a soul-ringing orgasm.
“Ahh,” she moaned, swatting my face away with whatever she’d retrieved when I didn’t let up.
“Sorry,” I shrugged with a smile, not sorry at all.
“Here,” she repeated, waving a small ziplock baggy in front of me. “Now you don’t even have to get out of the bed.”
My head jerked back in shock as I took the bag in my hand, following the old adage of not looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Well, I kind of followed it. “Why on earth do you have a ziplock bag next to your bed?” I narrowed one eye playfully as I carefully pulled out of her. “Have you been in this situation before?”
Her face lit up with emotion as I disappeared, tugging the string it apparently had attached to the left side of my chest.
One delicate eyebrow arched. “It had my vitamins in it.”
I smiled at her false disdain before slipping the full condom off and plopping it into the bag for later disposal.
“See? Now you can just roll over.”
I nodded and bit my bottom lip, my perma-smile enhanced by the squishy, soft welcome of her bed.
“Plus,” she muttered under her breath, “Now I have a DNA sample.”
“Oh!” I barked out in a laugh, rolling her quickly and swatting her perfect, naked ass.
“My ex-husband is in prison,” she joked. “How do you think he got there?”
I knew her game and upped it. I wasn’t the kind of guy who didn’t do research.
“Embezzlement.”
Her surprise was cute, the widening of her eyes drawing me in like a magnet until I placed one cute kiss on the tip of her nose.
“Go to sleep,” I instructed, flopping to my back and tucking her tight into my side.
She huffed but settled easily, and before I knew it, sleep sucked me into its comforting depth and held me.
Weak light trickled in through the plantation blinds on the windows, and soft flesh warmed me where the rising sun yet hadn’t.
Memory foam conformed to and eased the aches of my aging body. So false was the comfort its soft welcome lulled me into, I didn’t feel the evidence of the previous night’s activities until I started to move. Curling my abs to pull my body off of the mattress, memories of Allison’s body welcoming mine flooded every synapse of my brain.
With the buzz of the liquor starting to clear, the truth and consequences of her words and confessions—and the actions that followed—felt distinctly weightier.
I’d slept with countless women over the years, meeting my needs when the opportunity arose and taking the good with the bad.
But for the first time in all those years, guilt nibbled at my heart, teasing it with the possibility that I was emotionally cheating on Melly’s memory.
I wasn’t naive enough to think that I owed her something, like she lived on after death, but the newness of foreign emotion did it’s job. Since I couldn’t name the emotions running through me, I had a hard time dealing with them.
Allison’s face was completely relaxed as she slept on, the normal pull and strain of life noticeably absent.
She looked absolutely beautiful.
Ever so slowly, I pulled my body awa
y from hers, letting the cool air rush between us uninhibited.
Goosebumps appeared and pebbled along her skin, and a noticeable chill ran all the way through her at the loss of me.
Worry settled like lead in my gut, the idea that this beautiful woman might not be around making me feel like I might be physically ill. I knew she said it wasn’t bad—that it was the so called “best case scenario”—but toxic memories dirtied my mind and made it nearly impossible to believe that outcome.
I’d seen a woman I loved wither and wilt under the pressure of illness and its treatment, the drugs designed to save her robbing her of more of her image than the disease did.
I’d seen a woman I loved struggle to be strong for me—a ridiculous notion that still filled me with regret.
I wasn’t in love with Allison, but I cared for her deeply, and I could see us driving straight for the bright rays of love as it settled on the horizon in the distance.
Everything I learned I liked, and the fact that none of it was guaranteed had my body in a full out panic. What if I stayed on this road, kept driving and chasing the love she had to offer, and the sun of her life set before I could get there?
In that moment, the pain and panic of loss and unpredictability all I could focus on, none of it seemed worth it.
I scrambled from the bed like a teenager, unsteady and the complete opposite of surefooted. I needed to escape, unwind, and try to forget all of the moments I’d worked so hard to remember last night. And I needed to do it now.
Allison slept on undisturbed as I hopped and jumped my way into the unforgiving fabric of my jeans, my underwear and shirt in a useless lump in my hand.
Logically, I knew there was no escaping, but I couldn’t make my heart listen to my head as I power walked my way to the door and out it, shutting it softly behind me.
Regret slammed me in the chest long enough to warrant a pause, but ultimately, it wasn’t enough.
I should have at least touched my lips to her soft skin one last time.
When she woke up, alone and abandoned, the abuse of her body evident in her every move, I had no doubt I’d never get the chance again.
FATE HAD BEEN MY FRIEND today, assisting in my efforts to avoid anything and everything that was even remotely difficult to deal with.
Namely, being sick and the fact that I’d slept with Wade last night.
Oh, and of course, waking up alone.
That pretty much sealed the deal.
But it could have been much worse. I hadn’t been interrogated on the plane, thanks to seating arrangements and shiny objects named Danny. Otherwise, my daughter would have been in my face sooner.
And Wade kept his distance all on his own.
My stupid heart had yet to decide if that was good or bad.
“Excited?” Haley asked as she came up behind me, her cat like purrs leaving her state of mind unquestioned. Minutes from boarding the Oasis of the Seas with her man tucked close to her side, she was in the earthbound version of Heaven.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Yes . . . um, yes. You know I love being on the water.”
Her eyes narrowed. I turned away so I could pretend I didn’t notice, and focused on the line of passengers in front of me.
“Yeah, I know. I figured that’s why you did all of Wade’s bidding to make this trip happen.”
Making my head bobble, I agreed soundlessly again, shuffling my bags along in front of me with a kick of my cowboy boot covered toe.
What I didn’t do, was look at her. Everything in the terminal kept my attention. The lines of people checking in, the colors of their bags, even craning my neck to try and get a look at the big ship outside of the building. Anything was more interesting than the people I knew because those people led to conversation. And, right now, conversation was my enemy.
“You’re acting funny,” she accused, her hand settling on my squirmy shoulder to get my attention.
Unwelcome adrenaline surged through my veins, but I smashed it down with my imaginary hammer. The more worked up I got, the more she’d know something was off. And since I was currently harboring a whole satchel of secrets, I needed to be the absolute definition of cool.
“No, I’m not,” I denied, sweeping some imaginary lint off of the knee of my jeans and then studying the bottom of my shoe.
Shit. Stop acting guilty!
Her rebuttal came swiftly. “Liar.”
“I’m not,” I refuted, keeping my eyes downcast but my voice steady. Sixteen swirls in the concrete in my immediate vicinity. Interesting.
“You are!” she semi-shouted, forcing me around to look at her. Her eyes blazed with inquisitive suspicion. “I’m about to slap a humor label on your spine and set you on a shelf you’re acting so funny.”
“Wouldn’t a movie analogy have been more appropriate?” I asked, hoping that if we detoured from the planned conversation, she wouldn’t be able to find her way back. If I couldn’t actually be invisible, I needed to make it so at least my feelings were.
“Huh?”
“You know,” I urged with a twirl of my hand, “‘acting’ funny?”
“Back off my books, woman!” she shouted in mock-disgust, angry that I’d ruined her perfectly crafted cuteness.
A smirk creased the wrinkles around my eyes.
She studied my face further, hefting her small bag up onto the belt that fed it onto the cruise ship. Danny had already confiscated the larger one.
I stared back, hoping I wasn’t giving anything away.
“I don’t know what it is yet, but don’t worry.” She clucked and wagged a finger in my face. “I’ll get to the bottom of it soon.”
I rolled my eyes, but silently chanted my hopes that she would drop it. Unfortunately, I knew that wouldn’t really happen.
Once we made it onto the ship, a picture perfect view of the Atlantic and Intracoastal Waterway teasing from every elevated angle, I headed straight for the solace of my room. I needed a minute to decompress, get my thoughts together, and escape the invasive stare of my only daughter. Even if that meant delaying my views of crystal clear skies and deep blue water.
She was on a mission now, and I knew, come hell or high water, she’d find a way to garner a full confession. When it came to me, she was the best interrogator that ever lived.
I just hoped it wouldn’t be too much of a disaster when she finally nailed down my currently loose answers.
Forty-five minutes, I noted, looking from the clock to the fluff of my clean white comforter. In reality, it was probably only relatively clean, but for the health of my sanity, I just ignored that little tidbit.
That’s how long I had to myself before I had to meet everyone at one of the bars for drinks, and I intended to use it to wash my face and change into something that was covered in significantly less travel grunge.
My eyes drifted to the door on the other side of the room for the fifth time, my inner monologue far more aware of the man who ended up in the connecting room on the other side than my outer monologue was willing to acknowledge.
Faint sounds of the shower kicking on produced a groan in my chest, and I let my body flop backwards onto the bed like a worn-out rag doll.
Of course he had to be showering. All that water running down his unbelievably nice body, something I hadn’t seen in a lover in a solid twenty-five years. Most men never hit their peak of fitness, wandering aimlessly from baby fat to beer gut without hitting anything more appealing in between.
Clearly, for Wade, that wasn’t the case. He had the kind of body most fifty plus year old men dreamed of—the kind I had a hard time believing was real.
And yet, I’d noticed little things after he’d fallen asleep, when I’d had more time to investigate, that did make him feel real.
Crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes.
A smattering of gray hairs mixed in with the much more plentiful dark brown on not only his head, but also his chest. Only a smattering.
Scarred and callused hands.
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A tiny scar of a cut from a mishap of the past, just barely slicing into the very edge of his bottom lip, hidden by the scruff of his goatee.
A goatee that had left faint red scratches over ninety-five percent of my body. My chest and thighs were still flushed.
Every moment had been perfect.
Up until the one I’d experienced after waking up to find him gone.
That one, I could have done without.
Ughhhh.
Of course, I’d been obnoxiously happy, a smile subconsciously mocking my face before I even rose fully out of the haze of sleep. That made it all the more ugly when I reached out to the bed beside me, coming back with the feeling of cool, unwelcoming sheets rather than warm, hard male.
As much as I told myself to be realistic in my normal dalliances (which didn’t happen often), I hadn’t been prepared for this one. It’d come and gone so quickly, that I hadn’t had the chance to build up a wall around my often too sensitive heart.
The resulting anguish was pretty painful. And, of course, with a flight to catch and a crowd to fool, I’d had to pull myself together quickly. It was like a woman’s worst nightmare, not having the time to wallow, and even worse, being denied the opportunity to avoid.
I couldn’t gather my girls, call it in, and head out on a vacation to ease the sadness.
Because, in a scenario solely created by me, I was headed on the trip, but Wade was one of the “girls.”
This wasn’t how it was supposed to work. This wasn’t something that would help me heal. In fact, it was one hell of a clusterfuck.
The secrets just kept piling up, and if I wasn’t careful, my relationships with the people I loved were going to end up buried six feet under them. That was an outcome I didn’t want to see play out.
So I’d dragged myself out of bed, washed away the tears with the water of a scalding shower and dressed in clothes that hid the love marks that covered my skin.
Something it seemed like Wade was doing now, just on the other side of my door.
Double ugh.
Weighty clothing felt uncomfortable on my skin in the balmy Florida weather as I cruised along at a stroll from my room to the bar to meet my family. If my speed had a name it wouldn’t be known as anything other than ‘Avoidance.’
Accidental Alpha Page 9
