“Hey! Easy on the goods!” she screamed, tripping and slipping as she tried to keep up with the speed of her upper body.
“I just woke up. I don’t have full mobility in my legs yet!”
“You should have full mobility all the time,” I commented, continuing to drag her.
“Well, I don’t. Slow down!”
The freshness of outside air hit my mouth all at once as we burst through the door, filling my lungs to full for the first time since I’d woken up.
“What’s going on, Crazy lady?”
Shaking my head, I gulped the air, sagging against the railing and overlooking the calm, deep water of the open sea in silence. There was nothing out there but us, the big hull of our boat cutting through the smooth surface of the water like a scalpel on skin—leaving only precise, clean edges.
“You better get to explaining,” she complained. “I just barely pried Danny’s hands off of me. You’ll owe him later by the way.”
Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I puffed my cheeks and shrugged in her direction. I used absurdity of expression because I couldn’t say the words.
Somehow, she understood.
“Holy Bajesus. You slept with him again!” She perused my body intently, focusing in on my poorly adorned outfit from last night. Red rimmed my bloodshot eyes, and wrinkles completely changed the style of my dress. I was nothing short of a mess. “Oh my God! That’s what this is.” She worked a finger from my head to the ground and back again. “I was wondering about your look, but now I get it. It’s the morning after! The walk of shame!”
“Yes! All that talk about his soft heart and the way he was looking at me last night, and yeah . . . I was powerless to stop it.”
Her eyes were both knowing and mocking. I just stopped myself from gouging the pair of them out.
“Now what do I do?”
Tilting her head, she asked, “What do you mean?”
“What do you mean what do I mean?! I mean, what do I do now that I’ve slept with him again?!”
She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, a smile pinching the corners of her eyes. “I’m pretty sure you already did it. You left, right?”
I gave her a look. She was asking the obvious.
“Does he know you left?”
Looking to the brilliant blue sky in shame, I pursed my lips and shook my head.
She laughed and chucked me in the upper arm. “Oh man. You guys are better than TV. First he leaves and now you do. Next time the bed will wake up to find you both missing.”
“This isn’t funny.”
“Wrong!” She cackled. “It’s a little funny.”
“Can’t you see I’m traumatized here?”
Her laughing never ceased. “So don’t sleep with him again. No big. You guys will finish out your time here, part ways, and all will be well. You’ll only have to see each other at family gatherings.”
My face fell. Crumbled and crashed until my features were dust.
“Aha! I knew it,” she shrieked and pointed at once. “You like him. You really like him.”
“Ughh,” I groaned, leaning back from the railing with the support of two hands. I pulled myself back to standing. Waving my hand side to side, I conceded. “Maybe.”
“Yeah, maybe. Maybe we’re on boat. Maybe I have a vagina.”
“Your ridicule wounds me.” I flicked her right on the boob to hurt her back.
“Okay, okay,” she said lifting her hands in defense. “Can you sneak back in without him noticing? It’s still early.”
“I barely made it out alive!” Looking down at my toe, I found it bleeding. The adrenaline had blinded me to the true extent of the damage until that moment. Haley’s eyes followed mine.
“Holy hell, you’re bleeding!”
“God, you’re good at pointing out the obvious this morning.”
“Geez, fine. You woke me up early for Pete’s sake. You’ve gotta take me as I come.”
“Fine,” I grumbled my concession. “So?”
Her eyes bulged, the pressure I was putting on her to give me impossible answers nearly popping them out of the sockets.
“So you go with the flow. Go back to your room, take a shower, and get some first aid for your mangled toe. I’m sure he’s not going to be thrilled with your disappearing act, but he sort of had it coming. I’m sure it will all play out how it’s supposed to.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because you taught me this. Sometimes it’s messy on the way, but if you dream it, you can make it happen. If your heart’s in it, everything will shake out in the end.”
I sucked my lips inside my mouth and pushed my bedraggled hair out of my eyes.
“You sound like an episode of 7th Heaven.”
“Mom. If you’re meant to work it out, you will. Anyone, and I do mean anyone, who knows you, knows that you’re one of the best kinds of people. Any mistakes you make are just that—mistakes. Any indecision you may have is never malicious. You’re too good for any of that crap.”
Grabbing her swiftly, I pulled her into my arms for a hug. The feeling of her embrace was comforting in a way that little else was.
“Go shower. Get dressed and come back to my room. We’ll go do something together. Just the two of us. Okay?” she asked, holding me at half an arm’s length. Just enough so that I could see her face.
“Okay,” I agreed. “Sounds perfect.”
ROLLING OVER SLOWLY, I SCRATCHED at my stomach and absorbed the soft glow of the sunlight streaming in my small window. Apples scented the air, and the feel of Allison’s skin lingered on my fingertips.
Reaching out a hand, I felt the bed beside me, searched for the skin I remembered, but ultimately came up empty.
Prying my eyes open, I confirmed the suspicion of my hand quickly, the wrinkles of where she used to be poking fun at my search.
I closed my eyes again and focused on my hearing, waiting to hear the sounds of her moving around in the bathroom. When the silence sustained, the answer became startlingly clear. If I was waiting on her to come out of the bathroom door, I was going to be waiting forever.
She had left me.
“You have got to be shitting me,” I groused, jumping out of the bed swiftly and scrubbing a rough hand down the line of my face. I looked around for her clothes, but they were all gone, the only evidence that she’d ever been being the empty condom wrapper on the nightstand and the lingering smell of fruit in the air.
“Fuck!”
My fist came down in the center of her pillow, bursting the seams and sending feathers flying all over the noticeably quiet room.
As if by design, the shower in her room kicked on, washing away our second night together both symbolically and physically.
My fingers drifted up to my chest, rubbing at the burn radiating softly through the left side.
For the first time in years, I wasn’t calling the shots.
I was lost.
Showered and dressed, I ventured out of my room. I wandered aimlessly, my physical direction using the path of my emotions as a guide. I needed to think about what had happened, and not just last night, but in the entirety of our time since we’d been thrown together.
I needed to process and ponder and figure out where I had gone wrong—where I’d gone right.
And then, with the swiftness with a switch flicking on, I realized I didn’t know how in the actual fuck to do any of that.
I’d spent a lifetime avoiding emotions, not exploring them.
Fuck.
Taking out my phone quickly, I fired off a text to Danny.
Meet me at the bar.
It took a few minutes and few more aimless laps, but eventually, I got a message back.
Jesus. It’s 9 in the morning. Do we need to talk about this?
Not to drink, smart ass. I just need to talk.
Are we going for manicures after?
You’re an asshole.
Okay, you sweet talked me. Plus, my woman just to
ok off for a girl day with Allison. You’re in luck.
Girl day.
A fucking girl day.
Good. Good.
My eyelids fluttered as my body started to emotionally seize, the confusion and sheer abundance of interest nearly making me crazy.
Why did it even matter to me what she was doing?
Stumbling into the bar, I pulled up a stool and closed my eyes.
What happened to the guy I used to be? I’d never, ever been tied up in knots over some woman and wondering if she liked me—if I somehow had a chance in hell of making it work.
I’d never pondered or questioned or analyzed at all. Even with Melly, it’d been easy.
I’d been along for the ride.
Where had that guy gone? Right at that moment, lost in my world of confusion and turmoil, I missed him.
But as I tapped a rhythm out on the deserted bar, waiting for someone who was no doubt going to do nothing but make fun of me, tease me, and drag me further in the mud, it started to make sense.
Nobody else was worth the rope Allison’s knots were tied in.
One minute faded into the next, the silence of my surroundings lulling me into a sort of zen state.
When Danny came up beside me and slapped a hand on my shoulder, I jumped in surprise.
“What’s up, man? You’re looking a little crazy.”
Huh. I felt calm.
“I just . . .” I started only to be cut off.
“I’m assuming this has something to do with the lovely Allison. She came calling pretty early this morning.”
Annnnnd, just like that, my calm was gone.
“Yes!” He jumped back at my suddenly deafening tone. I tried hard to bring it down a couple of decibels. “She snuck out on me this time!”
I wasn’t that successful.
“Snuck out of what? Your bed?”
All I could do was nod like some kind of fucking bobble head.
Danny couldn’t contain a jubilant guffaw. “Oh this is too good!” He rubbed his stupid, sneering hands together. “This is what fairytales are made of.”
“Get real,” I moaned, not in the mood for his mockery.
“I am! If the characters of fairytales had a grasp on reality they’d be sneaking out of each other’s beds with alarming frequency.”
“Why would she do that? All that time getting out of the awkward hole I’d dug, and now it’s sure to be awkward again.”
“That’s the beauty of it!” Danny exclaimed, slapping an excited hand against the muscle of his thigh. “Thank God.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I thought my entertainment was going to dry up too quickly. You guys were getting along and everything, and that was disappointing.”
Ignoring his complete lack of sympathy, I still couldn’t shake the disbelief.
Why did women have to be so complicated?
“Christ. Exasperating, infuriating, crazy-inducing women.”
“What’s that, Wade?” Danny asked, a prick-like smirk engaging his pretty boy dimples as he curved one hand around the shell of his ear to ‘listen.’ “Oh shit!” he gasped. “It’s the karma train. Choo choo!”
“Karma?! And what exactly am I paying for?”
“Oh, come on. Your memory can’t be that bad.”
Still clueless, I shook my head in exasperation.
He just laughed. “It wasn’t too long ago that you were laughing at me as I chased after one of the Whitfield women. Now it’s your turn.”
“I’m not sure I like this turn of events.”
“Hah!” he yelped. “Of course you don’t.”
“Alright, I get it. Now that you’ve sufficiently teased me, how about you offer something constructive.”
“I don’t really have anything.”
“What?! Come on!”
“I’m serious. When it comes to the women of this family, you can’t plan. They’ll find a way to ruin it. You just need to go with the flow and be open to each and every one of the possibilities. You never know when something is going to come up that will flip their lid.”
“Flip their lid?”
“Oh yeah. Just think ‘romance novel’.”
“Romance novel,” I muttered, testing out the feel of the words as they rolled off of my tongue.
“Yep.” He nodded. “Romantic walks on the beach, dancing in the rain . . . anything that screams ‘sweep me off my feet’!”
“Right,” I mumbled, flopping for understanding like a fish on the beach.
“Don’t worry,” Danny offered with a far too amused smirk. “I’ll loan you one.”
Great.
“Hey,” he laughed. “Don’t stress out. They’re doing a girl day, so we’ll do a boy day.”
My look had his waning laughter waxing again.
“I know. Girl day sounds better. But we’ve gotta roll with the hand we’re dealt. I’ll give Hunter a call and we’ll go down to the Casino for a while.”
“Great,” I faux-smiled. “Losing money. That ought to make me feel better.”
“Exactly!” he exclaimed, slapping a hand on my injured shoulder and pulling out his phone.
“Ow! Fuck!” I yelled, grabbing my shoulder and hunching over in distress. The normal dull ache now roared, sending stabbing pain along the lines of my tendons and straight into the bone. “Jesus, Danny.”
“Most people just call me Danny. Jesus Danny is a little too formal. Even for me.”
His concentration went back to his phone, and I listened to the faint ringing along with him.
“Yo, Hunt. Wade and I are about to have some boy—”
I leveled him with another look.
“Man time,” he corrected with a cough. “The girls are busy. You wanna meet us down at the casino?”
I watched as he listened, closing one eye into a squint as though it made him hear better.
“Uh huh,” he smiled. “Right. Well, give me a shout when you get done . . .” His eyebrows lifted comically. “And we’ll meet up.”
Another two beats of listening ended with a muttered, “Cool,” before he pulled the phone from his ear and ended the call.
“He’s . . . busy.”
“Yeah, I could tell.”
“Lead the way,” he offered.
“You lead the way. I don’t trust you to be behind me.”
“What? After all of these years working together—”
“You’ve been under Haley’s influence too long, and you aren’t getting paid to watch my back anymore.”
For once, he was serious, clasping me on my uninjured shoulder and making sure I knew he meant it. “I’ll always have your back, Wade.”
His laughter echoed slightly off of the walls. “It’s just that now it has a different meaning. Loaning you books. Gabbing like girls. That kind of thing.” He leaned in and hushed his voice, and the effect was overwhelmingly humorous. “It’s only slightly less dangerous.” He winked.
I shook my head through a smile, and then shoved him forward. “Let’s go.”
“WHAT’S THIS PLACE CALLED AGAIN?” Hunter asked, looking around at the crowd of people disembarking as if distracted.
Haley and I had spent the entire day together yesterday, treating ourselves to massages, manicures, and pedicures in the spa. I hadn’t spoken to another soul all day, and she hadn’t either.
True to her word, she’d spent the day with me, laughing and snorting and carousing our way around all of the shops on the ship. With one quick call to Danny we’d even had dinner together, leaving the men to their own devices and gabbing with drinks late into the night.
We’d arrived in beautiful St. Thomas this morning while we slept in, and as Haley and I had planned on our own, we were headed on an adventure with the whole group this afternoon.
While people seemed to be Hunter’s poison, I was more enamored with the vivacious scenery. Whitewashed buildings with rusty red roofs dotted the lush green hillside, and each mountainous bump faded effortlessly into crisp white beaches and unreali
stically azure water. The air was hot and humid but clear of the haze I often associated with such moisture content. It was breathtakingly beautiful.
“Magic Ice,” I responded, taking my eyes off of the landscape long enough to study Hunter. Thanks to his still wandering eyes, he was oblivious to my scrutiny.
Of everyone in the group, his thoughts were always the biggest mystery. His expression was never open, and whatever was working behind his green eyes was content to stay there. One long arm curled up to rub at his neck, but his gaze never left the crowd. Either he was still looking for something or he’d found it and gotten snared in its gaze.
“Surprisingly, it’s not Vanilla Ice’s version of Magic Mike,” Haley informed us of something most normal people, including me, wouldn’t have even considered.
“Whaaat?” Danny sang, fake-outraged at the loss.
“I know,” she responded with a smirk, sweeping an affectionate hand down the line of his cheek. “I was hoping for male nudity too.”
“Hey, wait a minute!” he snapped, his smile gone and replaced by male bravado. “I didn’t mean—”
“Too late, Dan-o. Your secret’s out!”
“Keep insinuating that I like men,” he threatened with a smile and a point, “and you might just drive me to it.”
Back in the game, Hunter chimed in. “That’s par for the course, right, Sis? How many men is that you’ve turned gay? Four? Five?”
“I did not turn them gay!” she shrieked, outraged. “They were just forced into a life of hiding by societal oppression! I made their time on the straight side of the tracks tolerable.” Under her breath, she finished weakly. “They told me so.”
Shaking my head in awe yet again while Danny comforted her with whispered words and a stroking hand, I felt Wade’s chest brush into the back of my shoulder. He stood close enough for me to feel the warmth of his body and then closed the gap by placing a gentlemanly hand on my lower back.
He was always guiding me, and as if by design, I was starting to notice when he wasn’t there more than when he was.
“What is this place really?” he asked, leaning down to whisper in my ear and sending goosebumps cascading down both arms. Seemingly defying science, the warm air of his breath mixed with the heat of the tropical daylight to form a chill.
Accidental Alpha Page 16
